not lonely

When I saw Shen Lu again a year later, I only dared to go up to him lightly and say to him, long time no see.

In fact, I have planned this meeting many times in my heart.

"Song Haichuan!" Shen Lu suddenly felt the joy of meeting an old friend, "Why are you here!"

"Ah...I...I want to do some public welfare activities recently to help people in need." I looked around for a while, "These children are so pitiful, I think...if I can help...I will Help them."

"Hey, I never thought that the big star Song Haichuan is a philanthropist." Shen Lu gave me a thumbs up.

It was a rather remote orphanage in the city. Most of the children in it were disabled and abandoned by their cruel parents.Not long ago, I heard that Shen Lu sponsored an operation for a child with congenital visual impairment, helping him regain his sight.

It has been more than a year since Zhong Qianyi left, and I know he still hasn't let him go.

I am still clearly anxious about the situation when I called him that day.

At that time, I was preparing for a film conference in Japan, and I was inexplicably flustered. For some reason, I suddenly wanted to hear his voice.So I called him and happened to know what he was going through lately.

Despite the distance between the sea and the national border, I can clearly feel the deep despair in his heart.So I immediately booked a flight back home.

I often wonder what is the expression of loving someone?Is it the possessive desire to forcibly keep him by his side?

Then I guess I don't love him.

Ever since I learned about his unrequited love, my only wish is to be with him and wait for Zhong Qianyi.Even if the moment when Zhong Qianyi really looked back at him was the moment when I called off the curtain from his life, I would not regret it.

I'm an actor, and I'm best suited to withdraw from roles that don't belong to me.

But I don't remember who said that love is restraining oneself and respecting each other.

Having said that, I think I love him very much.

I am willing to help him tell all white lies, to help him anesthetize himself, to be that Song Xingxing who he can call at any time but never pester, to be his most loyal listener, the warmest chest, the most steadfast Fans.

Everything he wants to do, even if it is unreasonable, I am willing to cooperate.

That day, he told me on the phone that Zhong Qianyi had left.

I said, Shen Lu, wait for me, I'll be right there.

Zhong Qianyi walked peacefully, with a slight smile on her lips.It's as gentle as the impression you gave when you first met.I think he should be happy at that time, with so much love on his body, no matter where he goes, he will never be alone.

In a small corner of the hospital, I found Shen Lu who was curled up on the ground with his legs hugged, calm as if nothing had happened, but when he got closer, he found that his hands were covered in blood.

I immediately spread his palm out anxiously, his palm was deeply pierced by a nail, bloody and bloody.I was so distressed that I didn't know what to do, I got up and wanted to pull him up to bandage him.

He shook off my hand and didn't speak.

"Shen Lu, you are bleeding." I was a little angry, but in fact I just felt distressed, "Come on, let's go bandage."

He shook his head, still not speaking.

"Shen Lu, don't be like this. I know you feel uncomfortable. Can you cry out? I also feel uncomfortable when you are like this."

Shen Lu looked up at me, and the tears that had been in his eyes for a long time finally fell.

"Song Haichuan, Zhong Qianyi is dead..."

"Shen Lu..."

"He is dead, how can I still live..."

After hearing this, I squatted down and hugged his shoulders, feeling a wrist-like pain from my body.I was suddenly a little scared, afraid of Shen Lu's despair, afraid that Shen Lu would lose even his belief in living.

"Shen Lu, be strong, you can't fall down, even for... Zhong Qianyi, he definitely wants you to live well."

"It's so hard, Hai Chuan, it's really hard...I'm in so much pain, I'm dying of pain...I saw him lying there so quietly, I watched Liao Tongxun desperately trying to hug him up, I saw I watched Du Mingcan help him scrub, but I couldn't move, I couldn't control myself, I couldn't move a single step, I couldn't control myself to go up to look at him. I don't believe it, I don't believe he's dead." Shen Lu finally Leaning on my shoulder and crying bitterly, "How... how could he just die like this, he won't, he won't die... must... he must have deliberately lied to me in order to get rid of me, He doesn't like me, he doesn't want me to pester him, so he deliberately...deliberately lied to me...I went to him, I want to tell him, I let him go, I don't pester him anymore, I let He wakes up, don't lie to me anymore..." Shen Lu suddenly pushed me away forcefully, stood up and was about to walk towards Zhong Qianyi's ward.I quickly got up and grabbed him, hugging him tightly.

"Shen Lu, calm down."

"Song Haichuan, let me go. I'm going to find Zhong Qianyi. He must be awake now. He must have woken up when he saw me go."

Seeing that he was about to lose his mind, I planned to find a doctor to give him an injection to stabilize his emotions.Relying on being a head taller than him, I hugged him and walked to the next nurse's station.But he was a man after all, and he was playing like crazy. I spent a long time, but I didn't move very far.

In the end, the nurse gave him an injection directly, and he fell limply into my arms.I bent down and picked him up horizontally, and put him on the hospital bed.

The phone in my pocket was rang off by the manager, I ran out of the ward to answer the phone while Shen Lu was asleep.I know there must be a mess at the press conference, but I really don't have time to take care of it.

"Song Haichuan, do you know how important this movie is for you to open up the Japanese market? How dare you miss me for such a big event as the press conference? What's wrong with you?"

"Brother Jun, I'm back home, Shen Lu's side..."

I heard my poor manager sigh heavily, he is the only one who understands how important Shen Lu is to me.

"You heartless, the fans and reporters at the door are going to shoot me dead. I'll give you a clue."

I hung up the phone and went back to the hospital bed, looking at Shen Lu's peaceful sleeping face, knelt on the ground and prayed silently.Although I am an atheist, at that time, there was only one way to express the endless distress, worry and helplessness in my heart.

If the gods in heaven are visible, ask that pain, sickness be kept away from my loved ones forever.

Back at this moment, I looked at Shen Lu's busy and peaceful figure, and I became that greedy me again.

If the gods in the sky are visible, please let me take my loved ones away from pain and disease.

I have thousands of words to say to him, but only three simple words.

"How are you?"

"It's pretty good." Shen Lu nodded, "It's very fulfilling here, and the days pass quickly. I didn't have time to think about anything, and the day passed. I was half dead tired when I went back, and the long-term insomnia was cured."

"Don't tell me if you change the phone number, let me find you on purpose."

"Oh..." Shen Lu turned around and walked towards a small garden next to the garden, I followed, and the two of them sat down on a stone. "I just feel... sorry, for you..."

"what?"

"I've watched your interviews, broadcasts, and so on. When I heard what you said, I felt as if I was delaying you."

It dawned on me.

At that time, he quit his job, rented out the house, and changed his cell phone number. I cut off all contact with him, and I could only pray that he would take the initiative to contact me.So as long as there are programs or interviews, I will find opportunities to tell him my heart through TV.

In fact, it is not new, it has been confessed many times in front of him, and it has also been ignored many times.

"I couldn't get in touch with you at that time...There was no other way..." I scratched my head, a little embarrassed.

"I know, Hai Chuan," he turned his head, "Thank you, I am very touched. But you can't wait for me all the time, you are not young, you can't afford to delay..."

"What about you? Are you going to keep guarding him?"

Shen Lu shook his head and smiled wryly.

"Of course not, you are an idol drama, and I will guard him forever after he leaves? The reality is not so dramatic. It's just..." He paused, "For now, I still can't forget him .He has been in my heart since I was more than ten years old. In ten years, it is not easy to forget. Do you understand?"

How could I not understand.

"Maybe one day, I think about it and don't like him anymore. I will definitely find someone else to live a good life."

"Then I wait for you..."

"Haha...forget it, Song Haichuan..." He froze for a moment, then smiled, "You are not young anymore, you can find someone to make a living. If I still don't like you after I get the hang of it, you are at a loss Not bad..."

But what to do, Song Haichuan is not a person who likes to make ends meet by nature.

"It's okay. I can afford it." I shook my head indifferently, "At least before you meet that person, you know that there are still people in this world who like you, and you still have the last resort."

No one likes to be the last resort, no one likes to be the way out, but because he is Shen Lu, I am willing.

Then he smiled, like a flower, like a breeze, like the sun.

The grass grows and the warbler flies, and the flowers bloom and wither.

His smile is everything to me.