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Li Zhixiang was surprised when Cheng Liao said that he wanted to have a good chat with her.Chatting is only possible when there is a serious dialogue between adults.

And when Cheng Liao said that he wanted to go back to town to live and go to school, his anger overwhelmed his surprise and slight nervousness.

Li Zhixiang seemed to have lost her temper after she became pregnant, and scolded Cheng Liao: "Cheng Liao, are you crazy? You are doing well here, what are you doing when you go back! You are a child, are you going back alone to seek death?"

Cheng Liao was very calm and calm: "Mom, I will be 14 years old this summer vacation. I have been in charge of the family early, and I may have started to earn money at this age. I followed you here, more because I was afraid that Uncle Wu would treat you badly. After this year, I am very relieved, Uncle Wu is a good person, I believe you will have a good life, as good as I expected, and also as good as my father expected. "

Li Zhixiang burst into tears when he heard him talking about his father.She said, "Cheng Liao, are you blaming your mother?"

Cheng Liao hugged his mother: "Mom, I will never blame you. After my father is gone, you will be yourself. The fate of mother and child will be implicated for a lifetime, but I will not implicate your whole life. You have a new I have to live a good life, and I will grow up. Now it's just a small step too early."

Li Zhixiang tilted her head on Cheng Liao's shoulder, just like the day she heard the news of Cheng Yong's death.But at this time, she realized that her shoulders, which were once thin, had become broad at some point.The arms that couldn't be stretched enough when I hugged her were strong and gentle.It turned out that Cheng Liao grew up so fast.

However, she suddenly remembered that today is Children's Day.At this time last year, she even prepared a gift for him.This year's middle school is Children's Day, she actually forgot.It was during the time she forgot that Cheng Liao grew up quietly.

She wanted to tie him by her side for the rest of her life, she wanted to prepare three meals a day for him, she wanted to see him get married and start a business, she wanted to see his children and grandchildren, and she didn't want to say anything about living their own lives.

But she looked at Cheng Liao through tears, and found that Cheng Liao was different from what she remembered.In the past two years, she was like a donkey, turning around every day, pulling the lives of the two of them forward.This year they are busy studying and starting a new life.It's been a long time since she watched the process.

Cheng Liao's baby fat disappeared at some point, and turned into the unclear edges and corners of a teenager.

"I can't argue with him," she thought.

After the final exam, Cheng Liao called his uncle Cheng Wen for a long time.

When Cheng Wen was born, his mother died of dystocia, and his father owed debts from drinking and gambling. It is said that he was beaten to death.At that time, Cheng Yong was only eleven or twelve years old. The half-grown child was dragging a baby who knew nothing but hunger and crying, and he didn't even think about throwing him away.

Perhaps because Cheng Wen was born with a dangerous dystocia, he had never drunk breast milk, and had no nutritional supplements. He was weak and sick since he was a child, unable to lift his shoulders and hands, and gasped for breath when he walked 100 meters.In order to support him, Cheng Yong did all kinds of work and suffered all kinds of hardships, but he was never short of him.

The only thing Cheng Wen is useful for is studying well, especially math.His brother was very happy and desperately trying to make money, so he kept reading.But because of him, the few girls I talked to didn't agree.

Later, Cheng Yong was in his twenties, and it was really difficult, but it may be because of his good deeds, Li Zhixiang was destined to be with him, and he didn't dislike him, and the two finally got married.Before getting married, Cheng Wen himself asked to move out to avoid suspicion.Moreover, there was an official grain market at that time, and an accountant was being recruited. Cheng Wen was good at numbers, so he was hired and provided with accommodation.

Cheng Wen dropped out of school and moved to the market.When Cheng Liao was growing up, all he knew was that this quiet uncle didn't come to their house very often, probably because he was afraid that the plums would fall into the melon fields.But every time I come, I find a tricycle to bring a lot of things, such as food.

This time, Cheng Liao called him to go back to register and contact the county middle school.When he came here, his household registration was registered in Wu Congshan's book for school. Now that he goes back to school, he needs to move back. The Cheng family only has Cheng Wen.And this kind of half-way transfer has to find acquaintances to help him.

Cheng Liao stayed with his mother for half the summer vacation and had to leave before leaving.In order to reassure Li Zhixiang, Wu Congshan drove Cheng Liao home by himself.

Nothing seems to have changed in the courtyard.When we arrived, it was time for dinner, and the smells from every house in the courtyard were wafting out, and the smoke from the cooking hadn't dispersed, lingering on the roof, and even the corner above the courtyard door fell off when he left. The piece that was left has not been filled up until now.

His uncle asked someone to clean the rooms of their house, and prepared meals for them.Grandma Lin Yidao came out when she heard the movement, and was really pleasantly surprised when she saw Cheng Liao. She came to hold his hand, and looked at Cheng Liao, very happy.

"Little Cheng Liao, grandma still doesn't believe Xiaowen said you're coming back. She's grown taller and changed, but she's still grandma's precious little Cheng Liao. From now on, grandma's house will be yours, ah."

Cheng Liao gave grandma a hug without hesitation. Grandma has always smelled very good. It may be the smell of incense from burning incense in temples all the year round, which makes people feel at ease.

After settling in, Cheng Liao asked his uncle to move from the grain market dormitory to the courtyard.He said to his uncle: "Uncle, before I am an adult and independent enough to make my mother feel at ease, I need your help and care, and I need you as my mother's eyes to make her believe that I have no problems. And I will It's your relatives, after becoming independent as an adult, I will also take care of you, and I will give you old age."

Cheng Liao was still in the stage of changing his voice, and his voice was not loud.He hardly knew his uncle well, so he put on a sophisticated face as if negotiating.

Cheng Wen regards this as a gentleman's agreement. He feels that Cheng Liao doesn't need him to take care of him.But he solemnly agreed to Cheng Liao.Because he knows that no matter how well Cheng Liao pretends, he still needs someone to promise him that they will take care of each other as they go on, and someone needs to tell him not to be afraid.

The days when Cheng Liao came back were very peaceful, as if there was no gap for more than a year, and the life and surrounding atmosphere that he was accustomed to for more than ten years were seamlessly connected.But he will not escape and hide for more than a year, and the price he pays is to go to the first grade of junior high school again.

He didn't show any reluctance either. His uncle had tried his best. The county's junior high school stipulated that those who transfer to another school must go back to school, and they couldn't help it.

He just regretted in his heart that he could no longer be at the same table with Lin Yidao.

In the first year of junior high school, because of Wu Congshan's home computer, he searched a lot of knowledge online.He didn't know where to start the search. From the very beginning, he only knew to type in "Dream Dreaming of Classmates", and then found a bunch of messy advertising novels.

Later, when he remembered his physiological knowledge, he searched: "dream|nocturnal dream to a classmate", and among a bunch of irritable colored paragraphs and various questions, he finally saw someone asking: "I am a boy, but my dream |What happened to my male classmate in the dream.」

At that time, it was only two years after the questioning started, and everyone was very active in answering the questions and earning points.Among the various answers, Cheng Liao saw that someone posted an address, which was a post on a forum.

The topic discussed in the post was gossip, "Tell me, how did you know you like the same sex." But the reply that was voted the highest below was very serious.

This host first summarized the answers with a large number of answers, and there was a case of Cheng Liaosou.Then start talking about your point of view.Roughly summed up, it means that some people will suddenly have such a question at a certain moment due to some circumstances, but the emergence of this question does not mean that you will get the answer of "yes" or "no".Because you don't know what you will face in your future life, especially those who come to the Internet to find answers, many of them are still very young.So this person's point is, don't try to help others determine the answer.Then I made a long list of books, saying that you can read these books when you have doubts.

The books are very academic. At that time, Cheng Liao went to the city library by car to read them. It took him two hours to find the books and five weekends to read them.After reading a few books that he could barely understand, as well as the arguments and researches from ancient and modern times, both at home and abroad, Cheng Liao still couldn't find the answer.

But he felt that he didn't remember the problems that had been haunting him all the time, and he seemed to be repelled from the fear and fear brought about by his ignorance.

Later, he made a decision, which may not be considered a decision, but he just didn’t care about it. He was willing to wait until he and Lin Yidao gradually became estranged and forgot about each other. .Or wait, wait until the answer appears in front of him, and he cannot avoid it, then he will accept it.