I'm not from the same world as you

After a few hours of ups and downs, after two years, Xu Cen came to this city again. It seemed to be more prosperous than before, but nothing seemed to have changed.

The time on the invitation is [-]:[-] p.m., probably just for a meal.Xu Cen looked at the time, it was less than ten o'clock, at this time, Duan He didn't know if he was at home or not.

Coming out of the station, Xu Cen took a taxi to the downstairs of Duan He's house. The surroundings were still the same, except that the auntie in the department store downstairs had two more wrinkles on her face, and the boy in the auntie's house had grown a lot taller.

Xu Cen stood downstairs and looked up, and here he could see several flower pots on the balcony of Duan He's living room. Duan He had been scolded several times by his aunt for not watering the flowers.

Those dusty memories seemed to surge up again, Xu Cen shook his head and went upstairs directly.

Standing at the door, Xu Cen hesitated again, did he come here uninvited?

After standing at the door for a few minutes, Xu Cen still knocked on the door. It has been two years, even if Duan He still hates him, even if Duan He doesn't want to see him, since he came here on impulse today, there is no reason to walk away and leave.

There was a knock on the door for a long time, but no one came to answer the door. For some reason, this made Xu Cen's pounding heart a little calmer, why isn't Duan here.

At this time, maybe I should send a text message or make a phone call to Duan He, but Xu Cen didn't have the courage, so he chose to wait.

Xu Cen knelt down at the door of Duan He, and took out a cigarette and a lighter from his pocket, which he took with him when he left this morning. He doesn't smoke often, and he doesn't have a habit of smoking, but coming to see Duan He is enough for him to smoke. Several packs of cigarettes.

After waiting at the door for more than two hours, it was already noon, and there was still no sign of Duan He. Xu Cen was already hungry and left in a hurry in the morning, so he didn't even have time to eat breakfast.

Xu Cen rubbed his stomach, he didn't know if his fragile stomach could bear it, but he didn't want to miss Duan He because of such a trivial matter as eating, so he would rather continue waiting with an empty stomach than spend half an hour to go. Have a meal.

During lunch time, the hallway is filled with the smell of food, and it feels like home. The most delicious food in the world is nothing more than this.

Xu Cen remembered that opposite Duan He's house was a large family from other places. There were grandparents, parents, and two cute children. The two children were twins and had a very good relationship.

At this time, Xu Cen could hear the frolicking at the opposite house through the door, and his sister might not be eating anymore. Xu Cen still remembered the scene where grandma followed her sister with her rice bowl.

A family may be like this.

There was a lot of frolicking on the opposite side, but Duan He's house behind Xu Cen was silent. Once upon a time, this house was also very lively, but two years later, it was another scene.

Xu Cen took out another cigarette and lit it, trying to fill his stomach and his heart with the smoke.

After waiting for several hours, Xu Cen took out his mobile phone to check the time. It was already five o'clock in the afternoon, and it was only two hours before the dinner time stated on the invitation. Duan He didn't go home all day, where did he go?

Xu Cen's stomach began to ache a few hours ago, and now it's more serious. The colic pain made Xu Cen feel a little unsteady. Xu Cen sat on the stairs slowly, clutching his stomach. He hadn't eaten all day. Cen can no longer feel hungry, only the pain from the abdomen is particularly obvious all over his body.

Just when Xu Cen was hesitating whether to go down to buy some medicine first, the closed door suddenly opened, Xu Cen looked up and saw Duan He coming out wearing slippers.

At first, Xu Cen didn't recognize Duan Helai. Duan He's hair had grown a lot, his bangs had covered his eyes, his mouth was covered with stubble, and he looked very decadent.

Xu Cen stood up from the stairs clutching his stomach. The moment Duan He saw Xu Cen, his eyes were shocked, but they dimmed again in an instant, "What are you doing here?"

Duan He's tone was very indifferent, such a Duan He made Xu Cen feel very strange, Xu Cen just wanted to speak, Duan He's eyes moved down, saw Xu Cen's hand covering his belly, Duan He frowned, and asked, "How long have you been here?"

"From ten o'clock in the morning to now." As soon as he finished speaking, there was another burst of pain in his stomach. The pain made Xu Cen bend over directly. His face was full of uncomfortable and forbearing expressions. He didn't want Duan He to worry. Of course, Duan He It's also possible that you don't care about him at all, but it's better to have one thing more than one thing less.

Duan He looked at Xu Cen, frowning and didn't relax. After watching for a while, he went straight into the room without saying anything. Duan He didn't speak, and Xu Cen could only stand outside the door.

Xu Cen looked at Duan He as if he was looking for something in the living room. After searching for a long time, he finally found a box, but after Duan He looked carefully, he raised his hand and threw it into the trash can again.

Duan He flicked his hair a little irritably, came out of the living room and went downstairs, skipping Xu Cen, Xu Cen looked at Duan He's hurried figure and didn't know why Duan He was going, so he just left him here , the door is not closed.

Xu Cen stood outside the door in embarrassment, he didn't know what to do now, the door was open, but Duan He didn't let him in.

After standing outside the door for a few minutes, the sound of going upstairs came from the stairs. Xu Cen leaned against the door, ready to make way for others. He had been standing here for a whole day, and there were many people going up and down. They would always look at Xu Cen, Xu Cen was used to these eyes.

After more than ten seconds, Xu Cen saw Duan He's figure at the corner of the stairs. Duan He came back again?

Duan He came over and saw Xu Cen still standing at the door, he was a little surprised, "Why are you still standing? Be a door god?"

After Duan He finished speaking, he went into the house, Xu Cen stood outside the door, he didn't come in, he didn't go in, he still had a stomachache, what did Duan He mean by that?

Duan He poured a glass of water after entering the room, turned around and saw Xu Cen still standing outside the door, a little speechless, "Come in."

With Duan He's permission, Xu Cen went in clutching his stomach. After entering, Xu Cen froze at the door again. He didn't have his slippers, or rather, there were no slippers. The only thing in this house was the pair of slippers on Duan He's feet.

Xu Cen looked at Duan He, and Duan He said, "Come in directly."

Xu Cen came in cautiously, the house is still the same, nothing has changed in terms of furniture and layout, the clock in the living room is still ticking, but the flowers in the flower pots on the balcony of the living room have already withered. There is only one pair of bowls and chopsticks left.

Duan He was the only figure in the small house. When did it become cold here?

Duan He held the water glass in one hand, and handed the medicine to Xu Cen in the other. Xu Cen took it and saw that it was the stomach medicine he usually took. Although Duan He was expressionless and his tone was extremely cold, Xu Cen could feel it. To Duan He's concern for him.

Xu Cen raised his head and took the medicine. When he put the water glass away, he saw an identical box of stomach medicine in the trash can in the living room. Was it his medicine that Duan He threw away just now?

Why does Duan He have stomach medicine at home?Xu Cen looked at Duan He suspiciously, and Duan He explained indifferently, "I bought it before, and it expired."

"Thank you."

He and Duan He haven't said thank you for a long time, and Duan He has made three chapters with him before, not saying thank you and sorry, such words will make the relationship between two people look very familiar, but now he and Duan He don't seem to be in harmony. Familiar with.

After finishing speaking, both of them were silent. They haven't seen each other for more than two years. Everyone has changed a lot. Before Xu Cen came, he thought about a lot of things to say to Duan He, but when he really saw this person, he said everything. not coming out.

This quiet and awkward atmosphere was first broken by Duan He. Duan He's voice was much deeper and hoarse than before. I don't know if it was the sequelae of illness two years ago, "You haven't eaten all day?"

Xu Cen nodded, "I thought you were not at home, so I kept waiting outside."

"Don't you knock on the door when you go to other people's houses?" Duan He's tone was a little angry, and Xu Cen didn't know what he was angry about.

"I knocked."

"Knocked?" Duan He rolled his eyes twice, "I slept in the back room, maybe I didn't hear it."

The atmosphere became quiet again, and Duan He still wanted to ask why he didn't knock a few more times, why he didn't call him, why he was so stupid and waited outside the door all day without eating, but Duan He didn't ask anything, Duan He I was angry, angry that Xu Cen still couldn't take care of himself after so long.

Xu Cen also has a lot of things he wants to ask Duan He, why he is so decadent, why his voice becomes like this, why he sleeps at home all day, is he sick again?There were too many concerns, but Xu Cen didn't say anything.

The two looked at each other, lamenting the magic of time. They were so cruelly separated back then, and it was a stinging pain to think about it on weekdays, but now they meet again, but they are extraordinarily peaceful.

"Are you going to go out just now?" Xu Cen asked.

"Well, go and tidy up." Duan He touched his overgrown hair and the stubble on his chin, "It's clean...go and see my parents..."

"sorry."

Duan He smiled, "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I……"

"Don't say anything, go get a haircut with me." Duan He didn't want to listen to those things anymore, things had already happened, so what's the use of words?He knew what Xu Cen wanted to say, no matter how much he said, it didn't make any sense.

"it is good."

The two went out one after the other, Duan He walked in front, in April weather, Duan He was still wearing short-sleeved shorts and sandals and slippers, when the wind blew outside, Xu Cen, who was wearing a coat, felt cold, Xu Cen followed Behind Duan He, he looked at Duan He with his hands in his pockets.

He really wanted to ask if it was cold, but it was useless to ask, no matter whether Duan He answered cold or not, he couldn't do anything.

The two came to the barber shop in silence, Duan He was welcomed by the boss as soon as he entered, it seems that he should be an acquaintance.

Sitting on a chair, Duan He said to the haircutter behind him, "Cut whatever you want, as long as you look energetic."

"Got it."

After sitting down, Duan He began to close his eyes and rest his mind. He slept at home for a whole day today. It was not so much a day of sleep as a day of fainting. His mother's affairs made him physically and mentally exhausted. Yesterday he finally let his parents die underground. Reunited, but he feels that life has no motivation.

After returning home yesterday, he just lay on the bed in a daze. He didn't want to eat or move. He even felt bored even blinking. state.

Sometimes when he woke up, he desperately hoped that he would never open his eyes again.

It was only when the alarm clock rang that he remembered that there was still a meal tonight, and he remembered that he should go and see his parents whom he had been with day and night.

Duan He is very tired now. When he closes his eyes, he feels that he can fall asleep and pass out. Sometimes he thinks that he hasn't eaten well in the past two years, but his stomach seems to be extraordinarily strong, and nothing happened. Unlike Xu Cen, if he didn't eat a meal, his stomach hurt like the sky was falling apart.

Thinking of Xu Cen, Duan He opened his eyes, Xu Cen sat quietly beside him, looking at him for a while, and at the barber for a while, when he looked over, Xu Cen quickly moved his eyes again.

Duan He turned his head with a smile. In the mirror, his hair had been cut very short, like a reform-through-labor prisoner, but he was indeed more energetic than before.

"Shave off your beard by the way." Duan He said to the barber behind him.

"okay."

After the whole day, Duan He looked at himself in the mirror and felt a little strange, with short hair and a clean face, but he still had a decadent expression that was too tired to open his eyes.

Duan He gave the money and went out with Xu Cen.

"Are you hungry?" Duan He asked.

"Not hungry."

"Can you last until dinner?" Duan He added as if thinking of something after finishing speaking, "You don't seem to be able to eat outside food, right?"

"It's fine now." After more than two years of recuperation, Xu Cen's stomach has improved a lot. As long as he doesn't eat too dirty, he can accept it.

"A lot of things can really happen in two years." Duan He sighed.

"Yes."

"I... go to see my parents, are you going?"

Xu Cen hesitated, but finally nodded.

Duan He went home and changed his clothes, and then went to the cemetery. On the way, Duan He bought a few bottles of wine and a bouquet of big red roses. This is a cemetery on the edge of the city. At five o'clock in the afternoon, it was still completely dark Come down, there is not much eerie feeling here.

Duan He went in with the wine, Xu Cen followed, and after a long detour, Duan He stopped. There was only one tombstone with Duan He's father's name written on it, and then there was nothing else, Xu Cen frowned. Frowning, where is Duan He's mother?

Duan He put the roses in his hand in front of the tombstone, then sat down on the ground, took out two bottles of wine and opened them, one bottle was placed in front of the tombstone, and the other bottle was held by himself.

Xu Cen was standing behind Duan He, at this time Xu Cen actually looked extraordinarily tall, standing behind Duan He like a protective god.

Duan He took a sip of wine, then asked Xu Cen without looking back, "Do you know why I bought roses?"

Before Xu Cen could answer, Duan He said, "Because my mother likes red roses, she said she is also a red rose with thorns, only my father can hold her in this place regardless of his own safety." hand.

My mother doesn't have a tombstone because she is lying in my dad's coffin. She said she didn't want to sleep in the ground because she was afraid of bugs, but my dad was still waiting for her underground, so she wanted to go too. She said she was cremated. Turn into ashes and put it next to her father, so that she can guard her father, and will not let him leave her again.

It's ridiculous, how could she be so selfish? For her, I had my dad's grave dug up, my dad's coffin opened, and I watched my dad turn into bones in two years. Put her, who has been reduced to ashes, into it with your own hands, how cruel you say she is. "

Duan He's voice was already choked up, and he raised his hand to take another sip of wine, "I can't keep my dad, and I can't keep my mother, she must be blaming me in front of my dad now, blaming me for dragging her and not letting her go. You You know? My mother, my biological mother, grabbed my hand countless times in two years and asked me to let her go. She said she was uncomfortable, she said she couldn't bear it anymore, and she asked me to let her go.

I just pulled her, pulled her, pulled her, and didn't let her leave willfully. She kept saying that Dad was waiting for her, Dad needed her, and she was going to find Dad, but she never thought about it , actually... I need her too...

You said, why are the two of them so selfish and cruel? For more than 20 years, what am I?Why do they leave me alone, to live happily on my own? "

Duan He wanted to drink again, but Xu Cen grabbed him with his hand, "Don't drink."

Duan He shook off Xu Cen's hand, and got up unsteadily from the ground, "And you, you are the same as them, selfish, cruel, you can leave me at will for your own sake, I just don't care Is it important? In your opinion, I am just a pile of garbage, can't wait to throw it out?!"

Xu Cen wanted to go over to help Duan He, but was thrown away by Duan He. Duan He poured a bottle of wine into his stomach. Duan He was not bad at drinking, but there was nothing in his stomach, and he drank in a hurry. Duan He was already a little drunk up.

The wine bottle in his hand was empty, Duan He wanted to open another bottle, but Xu Cen stopped him, "Stop drinking."

Being blocked by Xu Cen repeatedly, Duan He's temper came up, "Who the hell are you, take care of me? The people who can take care of me are fucking underground, do you still want to take care of me?! Ah?"

"I want."

Duan He was taken aback by Xu Cen's calm and firm words. He rubbed his eyes and saw clearly that the person in front of him was Xu Cen, and he squatted down as if discouraged.

Xu Cen put down the wine bottle and squatted down, Duan He buried his head, Xu Cen could hear Duan He sobbing.

Xu Cen is very distressed, has Duan He been suppressing himself for the past two years?While working hard to make money, while taking care of his mother who wanted to leave at any time, how did the poor Duan He get his small decoration company on the right track in two years? How many sleepless nights and heartaches there were in it Maybe only Duan He himself knows.

Xu Cen hugged Duan He into his arms, caressing Duan He's back and Duan He's hair that was still a bit knotty after cutting, "Cry out."

Duan He raised his head from his arms, then put it on Xu Cen's shoulder and started to cry. Xu Cen didn't say anything, but provided Duan He with a hug he could rely on.

Duan He cried heart-rendingly. He had never expressed his emotions so brazenly in the past two years. All the exhaustion, fear, and anxiety were deeply suppressed in his heart.

In the eyes of others, he is a sensible, obedient and down-to-earth little boss. He is strong enough in front of everyone. Even without his father, no one feels sorry for him. On the contrary, most people think he is doing well.

He never justified himself. He had worn a strong mask for too long and couldn't take it off. Such a disguise made him breathless.

Xu Cen, who hadn't seen him for two years, seemed to be calmer and more confident. No matter what Xu Cen became, he was still the only Xu Cen who could open his heart.

All the grievances of the past two years were released at this moment, and Duan He felt a little more relaxed, and his consciousness was a little clearer.

Duan He cried for a few minutes and got up, wiped his face with his sleeve, and was too embarrassed to look at Xu Cen, "Let's go, go back."

Duan He turned around to leave, but Xu Cen grabbed his hand. Duan He turned to look at Xu Cen with some doubts.

Xu Cen pursed his lips tightly, holding on to Duan He all the time, Duan He moved his hand, "Huh?"

"Duan He, what I just said still counts."

Duan He was a little confused, what did you just say?

"I'll take care of you, no matter what happens, I'll take care of you." Xu Cen's expression was firm.

Duan He smiled contemptuously, "What are you going to do with me?"

"Do you still believe me?" Xu Cen looked at Duan He.

"I don't believe it." Duan He broke away from Xu Cen after speaking, turned and left.

Xu Cen sighed, he had already expected this situation, he hurt Duan He twice, how could Duan He believe him now, everything was his own fault, and he could not blame others.

"Duan He—" Duan He had already walked more than ten meters away, and Xu Cen's hoarse cry made Duan He stop.

"You are more important than my life!"

- am I that unimportant?This is the answer to Duan He's sentence.In Xu Cen's life, his sister and Duan He are the most important people. He didn't keep his sister when he was a child, but now, even if he tries his best, he still wants to keep Duan He.

Duan He didn't turn around. Seeing Xu Cen's face, he was afraid that he would be shaken. For Xu Cen, no matter how cold and hard he appears on the surface, his heart is still soft. This is the only person he loves in his life .

"Duan He, you have never been alone. Even if your uncles and aunts leave, they still miss you in another world." Xu Cen walked towards Duan He while talking.

"You've always understood that they love you, they need you, that you are the most important part of the family, that you mean a lot to them. But without them, you have friends, colleagues and a future, and your life It’s still waiting for you to write it yourself, they only have each other, and living alone may be a torment for them, so wouldn’t it be better for them to reunite in another world?”

Xu Cen walked behind Duan He, Duan He's back was still so wide, and there were too many things on his shoulders.

Xu Cen hugged Duan He from behind, "Duan He, not only your parents need you in this world, but I also need you. Live well for my trivial needs, okay?"

"Is this pitiful?" Duan He's cold voice reached Xu Cen's ears.

"Even if it's pitiful, it's pitiful to myself. Pity me for being cowardly and losing the person I love the most. Pity me for wanting to save that person but he doesn't believe in me anymore. Pity me for losing him. Even life is like a pool of stagnant water. Would you like to pity me again?" ?"

Duan He was silent, he couldn't deny that Xu Cen's embrace made him feel warm.

Xu Cen let go of Duan He, stretched out his hand and turned Duan He around, looked into Duan He's eyes and said, "I know that my current ability is not enough to make you believe me, but Duan He, I am also alone, and I was also left behind. Well, I understand how you feel, give me another chance, okay?"

Duan He remained silent. He didn't know whether he should trust the person who pushed him away again. If Xu Cen was just acting on a whim, if he encountered any difficulties in the future, he would be ruthlessly left behind. Isn't it too cruel?

"You said that we are not from the same world."

Xu Cen grabbed Duan He's hand, "I know you are afraid, Duan He, I am not the same Xu Cen two years ago, for you I can abandon everything, I can drop out of school, I can come here to live with you, I can accompany you, give you a home, and I can blend into your world"

"Study hard, that's what you like." Duan He started.

"What will it take for you to trust me?" Xu Cen was a little anxious.

"Xu Cen, let's all calm down." Duan He turned to leave, Xu Cen said to Duan He from behind, "There must be a deadline."

"When you graduate, we will all be mature at that time."

"Five years, Duan He, don't you think it's too cruel?!" Duan He had already walked away, and no one answered him. In the empty cemetery, Xu Cen felt a deep sense of powerlessness.

Xu Cen yelled in the direction Duan He left, "Five years, I'll wait for you! Uncles and aunts have heard it all, so don't regret it when the time comes!"

Xu Cen's voice reached Duan He's ears, Duan He smiled slightly, Xu Cen, I will wait for you too.