i have a crush on you

Chapter 9: The Road to Growth (1)

After graduating, I returned to City F. With the help of my mother, I became the hardest intern in a private company. After all, my diploma is not good, and I don’t even need to think about state-owned and foreign companies.

And He Shu was going to continue his graduate studies. Although he had the opportunity to choose a higher school, he still stayed in F City to continue his studies in F University for my old friend.

The night before my first day at work, I had a dinner appointment with him after we hadn't seen each other in two months.

We went to a Chinese restaurant, and he ordered five or six dishes and opened a bottle of wine, saying it was for me to celebrate, but he wouldn't let me drink it.I am silly, this man still spoils me so much after all these years.

"You cut your hair again?" he asked me after ordering.

"Yeah." I said, "I'm a bit obsessed with cropped cuts recently. I knew I cut them when I was studying, but now I have to go to work and I don't have a chance."

"You don't look good with cropped hair." He said, "Actually, you are more handsome with bangs."

"You know what a ghost, this is my head." I laughed, "I still think you are suitable for short cuts!"

"Really?" He also touched his head with a smile, "But I'm serious, bangs look good. But I suggest you don't wear bangs."

"Why?" Isn't that contradictory...

"You are so good-looking that many people will chase after you."

"Aren't I getting a lot of chases now!?" I brag, "I have a class in college that likes my girl."

"Then why didn't you tell me then?" He was very serious.

I froze, not knowing what to say.First of all, I'm just bragging about it; second, I like you, why don't I mention that you don't know girls at all in the few times I saw you?

"You must tell me if you like it in the future." He paused for a while, I was a little at a loss, and he continued, "This way I can help you refer."

"Hehe." I laughed, besides laughing.

Over the years, I have thoroughly mastered a skill - camouflage.Whenever something happened, I used a dry smile to express the "oh", "um", "don't know" thoughts.These attitudes are extremely vague, and it subtly masks my true inner emotions.

He Shu still hasn't changed, he always does my best wholeheartedly, but sometimes his kindness makes me embarrassed.For example, today, I don't want him to care about the girls around me. I want him to be possessive of me. I want to hear from him, don't care more about your girlfriend, you have to care more about me.

I don't expect his possessiveness towards me to reach the level of love, I just hope that for friends, he can ask me like a university: "Can you stop taking them out?"

Without hesitation, I will answer happily: "Okay."

Unfortunately, He Shu never gave me such a chance again.

"Do you know what your company mainly does?" he asked.

My major is not suitable at all. This is a job that my mother paid a lot of money and a lot of favors to help me get.

"Well, I probably know something. But my job is very simple, nothing more than making forms and printing printed documents."

"Don't you like this job?"

"It's not that I don't like it. It's just that I'm not interested. In fact, I want to start my own business."

"Oh? Why?"

"Open a photography studio and be a photographer." I said with a smile, "Didn't you praise me for my talent?"

It was only in 2006, we signed up for a three-day trip to City B, and I went with the camera I bought with my scholarship and living expenses I had saved.

City B is famous for its beautiful scenery, such as the lake with sparkling water and sky; the mountains with misty mist and soft bones;

I dragged He Shu around to choose a scene, and took the first photo carefully - a photo of the two of us, which was taken for me by someone else.

The first imprint on my film is me and He Shu, I am very happy.

Even though the film was expensive, I took ten pictures on the first day there, and of course half of them were He Shu.

Later I developed the photos, and of course I was not ashamed to show them all, so I picked a group photo and his solo photo and showed it to him.

The first sentence he said while holding the photo was: "Why did the two of us take such a silly photo?"

Admittedly, a bit silly.

Immediately afterwards, he began to criticize and criticize.

Like something like "We stand so far away, it seems like we are separated by the Huangpu River!"

What else is "you are too thin in the photo, it seems that I am shorter than you, and I am so fat!"

What's more, "I knew I would have taken more photos at that time."

"Then do you want it?" I couldn't laugh or cry.

"Yes, yes." He tucked it in the book, and picked up the only one to look at it again. He thought he was going to jump up and talk, but he was silent for a long time.

Finally, he said: "You are very talented."

Just this sentence, I remember it until now.

"This idea is not impossible, but I think it is a bit too risky." He is very serious, "The industry is not very mature at present, and as far as I know, photography is very expensive."

He's right that photography costs money.My family is not the kind of person who can spend tens of thousands of dollars casually, and I don’t have a father to cheat on. In that era when the economy was not so developed, my mother and I belonged to the most humble people in this city.

"Hey, let's talk about it." I just mentioned the idea of ​​photography when I thought of it. I really don't know if it can be done.

"If you really think about it and have a complete plan, you can come and tell me, and I will give you money." He Shu said, "I have money."

He is indeed rich, not because his family is rich, but because he himself is rich.He seems to have compiled a program in his senior year, and he told me that he sold it for a lot of money.I still remember when he patted the envelope as thick as a brick in front of me, and said ecstatically, "Xiao Tang, let's send it!"

I just lifted a corner and took a look and almost fainted—don't say I'm stupid, I've never seen so much cash.I quickly hid the envelope, and kept looking around to prevent someone from staring at us.

I craned my neck and said in a low voice, "Did you rob a fucking bank?"

He also stretched his neck, imitating my voice: "No, didn't I say that I made a program before? I sold him."

"Mom! You are simply a genius—!" I quickly covered my mouth.

He looked at me and smiled, "I will keep the money for you."

"Aren't you afraid I'll use it?"

"Use whatever you want."

"Come on! Take it back by yourself! Tell you, I have a wicked heart and courage."

He was very happy, but he still asked me to keep it for me. I couldn't resist him, so I had to take a stack and put it in the bank card. It was 1 yuan.

"I know that you are a big boss and have a lot of money." I joked, but expressed my heartfelt feelings for many years, "When I have no money, I will rely on you, but otherwise you have to support me."

He Shu kept silent and nodded silently.

Later, I realized that I was the only one who loved to joke and took jokes as jokes from beginning to end.

Crush is sad.

My advice.

The food was served, and I chatted randomly, a bit like high school, chatting about the heights of the sky and the depths of the earth, we are all knights, and we are all people who come and go.

"I am leaving."

We stood in front of the restaurant, he said to me.

He Shu was a little drunk, and I wanted to see him off but he sternly refused, probably meaning: He was embarrassed enough not to send me back, how could he ask me to see him off?

Sounds logical but doesn't make sense at all.He was so kind to me, I can only repeat this sentence that year.

Repeat from age 17 to age 22.

Repeat from age 22 to age 34.

I won't add more speculations about his kindness. A person who is destined to be a friend, what speculations do you want...

I was really desperate on the first day of work. The kind of old people bullying newcomers shown on TV is true, but it’s really not to the point where I buy an office coffee alone. Leave the simple things you don't want to do to me.In fact, most of the time they still choose to do their own things. After all, I made a mistake and the boss scolded him.

Life is boring, and so is love.

I have a crush on me, and I am lonely.

Living by thinking about He Shu every day is no longer enough for me.I started watching porn, of course with men.To be honest, I was very surprised when I found out that there are porn videos of men and women. My college roommate told me about it by accident. He said in a fearless tone: "Look at men. It's more exciting to be with a guy than to watch a guy with a girl."

Yeah, only someone who isn't gay can say it so naturally.

While watching the lingering actions of the two men on the video, I imagined that He Shu and I were doing this thing. To be honest, I really don’t know who will get on and who will get off, but if he is willing to do it with me once, maybe I'll choose the one below that looks less comfortable.

Of course, this was all fantasy, my lower abdomen had a violent reaction, and I was more energetic than I imagined after being imprisoned for too long.Shame, that was the only thought I had after it was all over.

Now it seems that I am too immature in terms of sex, and this poor gay has no place for me.