triangle, glass

Yun Duo's family originally wanted Yun Duo to go to her sister's company for an internship.But the list of internship companies has been pre-determined by the school early in the morning, and Yun Duo's family members are not omnipotent. They can only watch Yun Duo pack up and leave for another strange city.

This is Yun Duo's last night at home before going to practice.There was no one else in the living room except her and her mother for a while.Yun Duo and her mother were sitting on the leather sofa indoors watching news programs, she sat on one end and her mother sat on the other.Mother Yun didn't notice that something was wrong with Yun Duo tonight.

"Mom, I'm gay."

Mother Yun is watching the news.

"Mom, I'm gay."

Mother Yun is still watching the news seriously.

"Mom, I'm really gay, always have been."

Yun Duo turned the TV to mute, stood in front of Mother Yun, looked at her face and said loudly.

Yun Duo waited for 3 minutes but did not get any response from Yun's mother, so she sat back on one end of the sofa.

Mother Yun was on the other side, her eyes seemed to be still only on the silent TV screen.

Yun Duo heard her mother finally make a sound.It was the sound of crying.She heard that she was suppressing herself to cry in a low voice at first, and gradually it grew louder, turning into hiccup-like sobs.Yun Duo has never seen her mother cry.Although she is naughty and loves to play, her sister and father listen to her mother very much.So it was the first time she saw her cry.She didn't know how to react for a moment. The picture in front of her seemed to be in a foreign language she didn't understand. Now she couldn't understand what those characters meant.She froze there for a moment.

She finally came back to realize that her mother was crying, that she was expressing her pain, and that what she had stated not long ago was what made her so.But she doesn't know what's wrong with her, she's gay, she's happy.In fact, she wanted to tell her mother how many ways she could make herself happy a long time ago.

She suddenly remembered that these were all facts centered on herself.She just forgot for a moment that the current domestic situation of homosexuality is not optimistic.She was still in the aftertaste of being shocked by her mother crying.

"It's okay. There are many homosexuals abroad, and they are all doing well. They can still get married and have children."

"You don't live abroad."

"There are many in China. You can find out by looking around."

"Last time I told you that I like girls, but you only treated me as a child. I was really angry. I know what I like and what I don't like. I was thinking that one day I must tell you seriously, Let you all trust me."

Yun Duo sat down towards her mother and reached out to pat her on the back. She couldn't see her mother's expression at this time, because her mother was half lying on the armrest of the sofa, her face turned away from Yun Duo.

"Are you old? What if there is no one around you? What if you don't have children?"

"Why is there no one around? Isn't my sister and brother-in-law human?"

"I'm talking about your own people. Your sister has her family, and your brother-in-law is your sister's."

"I just want to live well now, and I didn't want to plan my whole life early in the morning."

"Besides, why don't I have my own people, I am my own people. No matter how bad it is, I can take care of myself."

"What do you do when you are old and sick? What if you can't move and can't move without me giving you money?"

"Why do you think so badly about me? Ordinary people can't stand it like that. Am I going to be cursed if I'm gay? You're my mother!"

"What do you let others think of me? They will definitely say that I didn't raise you well. They will definitely say that behind my back. What will I do in the future? Is this the end that I have raised you for so long?"

Yun Duo's hand had already stopped near Mother Yun's back.Mother Yun was wiping her snot and tears while asking and answering with Yun Duo. At this time, she wiped the tears off her face again, and then turned her face to face Yun Duo.

Yun Duo had long felt himself trembling slightly.The more she listened to her mother's question, the more uncertain she felt.Indeed, she never imagined those future situations once, because the current things often filled her up.Also, she was used to going smoothly all the time, so she couldn't think of imagining the so-called difficult situation for herself.And she thought about her mother's question, and felt that she was like a person who had no horse, no armor, and no sword, but was abandoned among the densely packed enemies and had no use in the original camp.She couldn't accept herself in those situations, just as she couldn't imagine them happening to herself.But mother asked them again in front of her face, the meaning expressed in the words was rigid and fixed, she didn't want to be restrained, she needed someone to tell her how to rush out.

She looked at her mother's face and wanted to say something, but she froze even more than when she just knew she was crying.

It seemed to her that the person in front of her was not her mother, but someone else who was very similar to her mother.She carefully looked at the facial features of the person in front of her, and found that her eyes were only a little red and swollen, and the face shape of her cheekbones, nose bridge, and cheeks was obviously very similar to the person she saw in the mirror every day. Then she checked the clothes she was wearing now. Her mother's clothes, she is also sitting on the sofa of her home in this ordinary evening time, isn't she her own mother.But why do I feel that my mother has become smaller and shrunken all of a sudden, as if she has lost the ability to shine in front of me, and has become a witch without a magic wand, no longer tall and omnipotent .

Yun Duo realized that she was disappointed in her mother.

This is also the first time in her life that she has been disappointed with her mother.What did her mother say at the end, how did she care about what others said about her, such a mother is a mother who forgot herself, a mother who withdraws her love and tolerance from herself, not what she likes, not what she feels in her impressions and feelings.

Yun Duo felt as if some white mist was quietly spreading in front of his eyes.She realized that her mother also had times when she only thought about herself more.She originally thought that she was the absolute number one position to her mother.Now it seems that not only my mother, but my sister, brother-in-law, and father will also be like this. In some matters, they first instinctively think for themselves, and temporarily lose themselves.Maybe when they live a stable life again and have the resources, they will come to find themselves immediately, try to support themselves again, and keep them by their side obediently, so that others can see them and praise them again and again.And those things that will cause them to lose themselves are fundamental to the truth for themselves, and it is absolutely impossible for them to abandon them.In that case, I have to fight alone, and passively abandon them.

Yun Duo instantly felt a thunderbolt, and fell straight down on the sofa beside him, closed his eyes, and temporarily lost consciousness.

Later, Yun Duo woke up in the hospital and found that she had a needle inserted in the back of her hand. She felt her throat was very dry, her eyes were like a ball of fire, and her head was still clumsy and heavy. She probably had a fever and passed out.But that morning, I didn't feel how serious the cold was, so why did I fall ill like a mountain.No, she didn't believe that the bad things her mother told her could be her own.It must be an old problem. If I think about it too much, I will become dizzy. Isn't the thing I thought about that night the most and the deepest when I grew up? If I faint, I will faint.I just don't know what happened to my mother.I think the doctor probably told her that she was fine.Hey, before this internship even started, I was hospitalized, what kind of future will I be facing.By the way, I can't think about it anymore, I will feel dizzy.