I'm fine during the day

When I returned to the hut in the west city, the air was still filled with the breath left by Yu Xia.However, there is no more Yu Xia in this world.

I thought of a word.die.

"You're dead, and I can't live alone." I clearly remember what he said that night in Dashishan.Yu Xia, without you, I don't want to live alone.

Yu Xia, wait for me.If there is an afterlife, I must say loudly my love for you, my Yu Xia, I love you.

The phone rang and I didn't answer it.The phone rang persistently over and over again.

I picked up the phone, trying to turn off the noisy sound.At this time, the city I saw on the caller ID was Yu Xia's city.

Didn't Yu Xia die?I happily picked up the phone.

"Yu Xia." I called him loudly.

"During the day, I'm auntie." It's Yu Xia's mother.

"Auntie."

"There is one important thing that I forgot to tell you yesterday. Before he died, Yu Xia said that if you want to know the news of his death, he wants me to remind you, don't forget what you promised him."

She paused and said, "Be happy, and live your life happily. He said, this is what you promised him, and you will definitely do it."

"I..." I burst into tears, unable to speak anymore.

Auntie didn't hang up the phone, she just waited quietly for me to finish crying.

I finally calmed down, she said: "Bai Tian, ​​I know you are sad now, but I think, Yu Xia must hope that you will be happy."

Yu Xia's voice rang in my ears.He said: "No matter what happened, the past is past, we should not be sad, we must be strong, we must be happy, and we must live happily through this life."

I thought he was comforting me at the time, comforting the fact that we had already done.But I don't know, he knew what was going to happen early in the morning, he knew that he was going to leave this world early in the morning, and he asked me to promise that no matter what happens, I will live this life happily.

I closed my eyes.Yu Xia, you have always thought of me, but I have never given you anything.

Yu Xia is gone, and for the rest of my life, maybe, that's all there is to it.In a world without Yu Xia, I'm just surviving, isn't it?

I unpacked my luggage and took out the blue plaid coat. I was stunned for a long time before I put it on.It was as if I had become Yu Xia, and it was Yu Xia who put on him.

Standing in front of the mirror, I remembered the scene when Yu Xia put on this dress for the first time.Yu Xia smiled and said to me, I like it very much.I like it very much, I silently said to the person in the mirror.

The me in the mirror is haggard, I have become as thin as Yu Xia.

Turn on the laptop, I hit the play button, no sound.I remembered that after Yu Xia sang, he didn't press the stop button, and I didn't want to come back again, so let him just be empty.It's like Yu Xia and I are communicating silently.

I put my hands in my pockets, and my hands touched something.I took it out and it was a crumpled paper ball.

I stretched it unconsciously, and Yu Xia's handwriting came into my eyes.

"I often think of that night in Dashishan. I said, during the day, I love you in the name of love. You said, Yu Xia, I love you, in the name of brother. During the day, if I could choose to leave at a certain time , I want to choose that sweet night. During the day, I love you."

My tears flowed out.

I heard Yu Xia say in my ear, during the day, I love you.I believe I heard correctly.I really heard him say, during the day, I love you.I stood up and looked around the room, no one was there.Are the words I hear just my own fantasies?No, I really heard Yu Xia saying, during the day, I love you.

However, there was no Yu Xia.Only me, this world, only me.

Yu Xia's singing sounded again.

you ask me how are you

I said I'm fine

I'm fine with a smile on my face

I think, I get it.My eyes fell on the song played on the notebook, and I noticed the duration: 12'21". It was my birthday. Yu Xia often said with a smile, I want to love you. I want to love you.

His blankness is intentional.To love love you.

In Yu Xia's singing, my tears poured out, wiped away, and poured out again.After a long silence, in the last few seconds of the audio, he said clearly, "Daytime, I love you."

My tears fell drop by drop on the note, and the characters began to blur.I wiped away my tears vigorously.After a long time, I moved my eyes to the note again.

"During the day, I love you. There is one thing, I have not told you. I fell asleep that night, and I had a dream. I dreamed that you were kissing me tenderly. Even if it was just a dream, during the day, I am very happy .”

I go back to that night again.Yu Xia told me for the first time, "I love you." I said, "Me too."

He said, "Say it." I said, "I love you."

That was the sweetest moment in Yu Xia's life.For me, why not?

But Yu Xia, there are some things that I haven't told you, but I have no chance to tell you again.

That night, you fell asleep, but I didn't fall asleep.I'm thinking about something.

Yu Xia, I was thinking, I told you my secret, I told you that I love you, would you believe me?I love you not because of friendship, but because of love.

Yu Xia, I told myself, tomorrow I must tell you, I love you, I just want to be with you.In this life, let us love each other like this and walk together.

Yu Xia, even if we only have one day left for the rest of our lives, so what?As long as I have you by my side.

Yu Xia, I looked at you, you were fast asleep, I suddenly had the urge to kiss you.My lips are gently approaching yours.If I kiss you, will it wake you up?You are so tired, I should let you have a good sleep.However, just a light kiss should be fine.

My lips kissed yours.

Time stood still.There are only two of us in this world.

Yu Xia, I love you, and you happen to love me too, we are the happiest people in this world.

The author has something to say:

Ps "We" given to Yu Xia during the day.

"we"

Waking up in the morning and the room is empty

Suddenly remembered that you have gone far away

if i wasn't so cowardly hiding

if you take my hand and hold it tight

if we can be brave

what will our present be

they will find us

they will devour us

we are no longer us

Now I'm by someone else's side

in the mockery of fate

I chose to compromise and surrender

If we were strong enough

The final outcome may be different

they will find us

they will devour us

we are still us

The story of "I'm Fine During the Day" was inspired by Ron Pope's song "Idon'tmindifyoudon'tmind".Thanks.

Thanks to the little angels who read my story.

Some words about the female supporting role have been deleted.Post the full version in Chapters 12 and 13.

(Above in Chapter 12, in the words)

I'm fine during the day (Part [-])

Qi Tian Xiaoyu

2. Brotherhood (9)

After experiencing the matchmaking incident, Jin Xin obviously had a problem with me.When she saw me, she no longer greeted me chirping like before, but turned a blind eye and walked away, intentionally staying away from me.That's good too, so we won't be embarrassed.When I saw her and Lu Ming coming together again, I secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

Wen Xue is not influenced by her friends, she still cares about me so much.Sometimes when they were together, Jin Xin pulled Wen Xue to leave, but Wen Xue came over to say hello to me.

On the weekend, the company fired two people.When I got off work, several colleagues got together to discuss, and I saw Jin Xin and Lu Ming also participated in the discussion.I turned around and walked away.

Wen Xue came over and took my arm.

I was surprised, although everyone in the company thought we were in a relationship, but in fact, we didn't usually have such intimacy.I'm a bit overwhelmed, but throwing her arm off in front of the company would obviously make her face a mess.I just walked past those who were joking and laughing awkwardly.

Several colleagues greeted us with a smile.

When she walked past Jin Xin, Jin Xin called her to stop.Wen Xue smiled and waved to her, and we walked away.

Originally, this weekend, I wanted to find Yu Xia and let him rest, but Yu Xia insisted on coming to me.I knew he didn't want me running back and forth.

The next morning, he wanted to get up and cook, but I firmly refused.We fell asleep and slept in, and we didn't get up lazily until almost noon.

My phone rang, and when I answered it, it was Wen Xue's voice: "Are you home?"

I was taken aback: "Yes."

"I'll be in your community. Jin Xin wants to find Lu Ming," Wen Xue continued, "I was just thinking about whether I should visit your place."

I moved the phone away, and whispered to Yu Xia: "Wen Xue is coming, what should I say?"

"You decide," Yu Xia said flatly, "That's your friend."

"Uh, come on then." I have already said that I am at home, if I refuse again, it will be too deliberate.

Opening the door, two girls came in, Yu Xia stood up and greeted them.The two girls were taken aback for a moment, they didn't expect that there were other people in the room.I never thought that Jin Xin would follow.

"Yu Xia is here too?" Jin Xin said carelessly.

"Yes, you are here." He handed over two glasses of water.

"Where's Lu Ming?" I asked Jin Xin.

"I want to come over with Wen Xue to have a look, and then go find him." Probably because she met Yu Xia, her words were a little rushed.

I said "oh" and told them to sit down.I kind of regret it now.

Jin Xin whispered something to Wen Xue, and Wen Xue signaled her not to say any more.Jin Xin raised his head and glanced at Yu Xia and me sitting across from each other.

Yu Xia stood up and said to the girls: "Sit down, I'll go to the room to check the information." I knew Yu Xia was avoiding it on purpose.

"Don't be busy." Jin Xin stopped him, "I have something to do with Wen Xue, and I want to talk to you two."

Wen Xue pushed her: "What's the matter? We're also here to take a look. If you have something to do, let's go first." She stood up.Jin Xin pulled her back, "I'm doing it for your own good. I told you, but if you don't believe me, I'll ask him."

I have a bad feeling.

Jin Xin glanced at me and Yu Xia, and then asked me: "The company fired two people yesterday, do you know about this?" I nodded, and she asked again, "Do you know why they were fired?"

I said, "I don't know, but I don't want to know either."

Wen Xue stopped her best friend: "Why are you talking about this? What do other people's affairs have to do with us?"

Jin Xin ignored her, "They said it was a reason, but you must know the real reason." She looked directly at me, "They are gay, and the company is afraid of bad influence."

I froze.I don't know about this.But now, what does she mean when she says this?What did she see through?

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Let's go." Wen Xue stood up, while Jin Xin was still sitting still.

Jin Xin glanced at Wen Xue: "I'm doing it for your own good, don't be obsessed with it." She turned to me, "Tell me, are you two gay?"

I looked up at Yu Xia, Yu Xia's face changed color, but he was trying his best to restrain himself.

"Stop talking, I guessed it." Jin Xin said to her best friend, "Don't be stupid anymore, we have all been deceived. He is gay, and you still like him?"

Wen Xue said to Jin Xin: "How can there be so many comrades? If the company has a pair of comrades, you think everyone is gay?" She said, "Aren't you looking for Lu Ming? Why are you talking about these things? ? You know I won't let you come." She stepped forward to pull Jinxin.

Jin Xin stood up, but didn't intend to leave.

"The last time we met Lu Ming, do you know what Lu Ming said? He said that they were gay from the way they were intimate. I also said that Lu Ming was talking nonsense. Now it seems that it is true." She was aggressive , "During the day, tell me, are you gay? If so, don't lie to us, we don't want to play with you like this.

I looked at Yu Xia, how should I answer.I can't say.I can't let people know I'm gay.

I shook my head with difficulty, "We are not."

"Really?" Jin Xin asked.

Yu Xia stood up: "I said in the daytime that he is not gay, didn't you hear?" There was anger in his voice.

Wen Xue's face also changed color, and she said sternly: "Jin Xin, if you said no during the day, he is not. If you don't believe me, I won't consider you a good friend." She turned to me and said, "I believe you. "

"You, he lied to you." Jin Xin looked at me suspiciously, "How can two men be so close? What is it if they are not gay? Men like men, and it makes me feel disgusting to think about it."

Yu Xia's face turned cold, and he said calmly, "I don't think there is anything disgusting about comrades."

Jin Xin laughed, "I said comrades are disgusting, and you are angry. Are you gay?"

"Yes, I am." Yu Xia said.

The two girls were stunned, they didn't expect Yu Xia would really admit it.

Yu Xia continued, "I don't think there is any difference whether it is same-sex love or opposite-sex love."

Jin Xin said to Wen Xue: "Look, he admitted everything. The two of them are in the same room, and he is gay." She glanced at me, "Is he not?"

Wen Xue came over and took my arm, "I don't think there's anything disgusting about comrades, and I don't think there's anything disgusting about two people who really love each other." She looked at me and said, "During the day, I don't care if you are Not gay, I don't care if you like men or not, as long as you want me, I will marry you."

Wen Xue's bold confession still shocked me.I know she is saving me, but I don't want her to save me like this.I no longer dare to look at Yu Xia's expression.However, I still sneaked a glance at him, his face was full of disappointment.

"Why are you so stupid." Jin Xin looked at Wen Xue in disbelief.

Wen Xue let go of my arm, came to Yu Xia, bowed to him and said, "I'm sorry, Yu Xia, I just want to take a look at the daytime one, I didn't expect such a thing to happen. I'm sorry."

Yu Xia reluctantly smiled at Wen Xue: "You are not wrong, so you don't need to say sorry."

When there were only the two of us left in the room, Yu Xia sat there without moving.I sat on the other side of the sofa, feeling remorseful.

Jin Xin's matter was wrong from the beginning, but I let it go wrong again and again.I naively thought that Yu Xia and I would marry a pair of sisters, and this friendship would be tightly maintained.But now, things have turned into what they are now, which is beyond my expectation, and I don't know how to end it.

After a long time, Yu Xia stood up, her expression had returned to normal.As usual, he lay down on the bed after washing up.I followed in.He went to the bed and hugged the quilt, but didn't leave. He stood there grinding, waiting for him to say something.

"Aren't you sleeping?" he asked me.

Hearing him talk, I threw the quilt and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Yu Xia, are you angry?"

"No," he said.Seeing me looking at him, he smiled lightly, "Okay, you go to sleep."

"Sorry." I said.

"It seems to be the first time to say sorry to me." Yu Xia smiled, as if joking to ease the atmosphere, but his voice was trembling, "During the day, I am not angry with you. It's just that I am really sad .”

"Don't be sad, I will always be by your side."

"You won't." He shook his head.My heart sank too.When I said that I was not gay, Yu Xia must have been disappointed.When Wen Xue expressed her feelings firmly, I saw the frustration under Yu Xia's quiet face.

When one day, I step into the grave of marriage, how can our friendship continue?One day, Yu Xia will leave me to find the Prince Charming in his life, is that right?

All this makes me sad.It's not Yu Xia who is sad, but also me.

For the first time, Yu Xia looked at me with such despairing eyes, his eyes were full of sadness.I reached out, and my hand touched his, and I squeezed his hand tightly.

This is the first time I took the initiative to hold his hand.He froze, motionless, and after a few seconds, he turned his hand over and placed it on mine.We hold hands tightly.

My heart beat out of my chest.

I gently withdrew my hand: "Yu Xia, promise me that we will never separate, okay?" I thought, I was selfish.I think that's it, with Yu Xia's friendship, for the rest of my life.

2. Brotherhood (10)

As the Lunar New Year approached, I went to Wen Xue's house and officially confirmed my relationship with Wen Xue.I called my mom and reported the incident to her.Now, they don't have to worry about me.

Yu Xia became more and more haggard.I felt sorry for Yu Xia, and watched him lose weight, but there was nothing I could do.I knew he was in a bad mood, and I was in a bad mood, too.

As if knowing a treasure was about to be lost, I cherished the time we had.In those days, I rushed to Yu Xia's house every day after get off work, and the winter nights and early mornings were particularly deserted, but in order to be able to see him every day, what was the cold?

Yu Xia said not to rush back and forth, but I know he is willing in his heart.Just let the days go on like this, and it will be fine.

"You've been running back and forth for a week, I'll go to your place next week." Yu Xia said to me.

"I don't allow it." I said, "It's almost Chinese New Year, and I'm free at work, so let me come to you." I thought Yu Xia would refuse, but he didn't expect him to stop refuting.

Every day I ride Yu Xia's motorcycle and run around the city.I am happy to see Yu Xia every day.

I often tease him with small jokes, and he also cooperates with my jokes, with a smile on his face.But I observed secretly for a long time, after leaving my sight, his face became more and more heavy.

I know that Yu Xia has something on her mind.Maybe he hasn't gotten over what happened last time.But more importantly, it must be because Wen Xue and I announced our relationship.

He has a lot on his mind, but he refuses to tell me.And I can't ask.Several times, he wanted to say something, I knew what he wanted to say, I wanted him to say it, but I was afraid he would say it.

On the weekend, Yu Xia got up early and washed up in the bathroom.I originally wanted to stay in bed for a while, but after thinking about it, I also got up and walked into the bathroom.

Yu Xia was taking something from his pocket, I walked over quietly to see what he was doing.I saw clearly that what he took out was a folded medicine bag, and when he opened it, there were several pills.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked him, "What medicine are you taking?"

He was startled: "how did you get up?"

I pointed to his medicine: "What's wrong with you?"

"I always feel very tired recently. The doctor said that I lack immunity and prescribed me some medicine to improve immunity." He walked into the back room of the bathroom, opened the toilet seat, and threw the medicine in with a "snap", " I hate taking pills. I'm never going to take them again."

"Hey," I stopped him, but he had already thrown the medicine in, closed the toilet lid, and pressed the button, and the water flushed away the medicine with a "squeak".

"Why throw it away, you can eat a little to increase your immunity." I said to him, "Look at you, you have lost a lot of weight during this period."

"I'm tired of taking medicine." He smiled at me, "I can also improve my immunity by exercising my body."

"You, disobedient." I said to him, "Forget it this time, don't let me catch you next time."

"Listen to you."

One night, when I went to Yu Xia's place, he was still sitting in a daze.

I took off my coat and hung it on the hanger, "Hey." He didn't move.

"Still waiting for me, why don't you sleep first."

"I handed in my resignation letter today," he said.

"What?" I jumped up. "I won't allow you to do this."

"I can't help it. My father wants me to go home. What can I do?" He said, "I don't want to leave, and I don't want to leave you. But..."

"But what?" I was a little desperate.

"Mom and Dad are old, they need me to take care of them, and my father's business also needs me to take care of them. I can't be selfish and leave them at home. You know, they used to be out of town all year round, just I returned to my hometown because of poor health. I am their only son and I should go back."

He took out his parents to talk about things, what can I say?But I know that this is by no means the reason for his leaving.

I looked at him: "You left because of me, didn't you?" I looked straight into his eyes, trying to see the truth of the matter from his eyes.

He shook his head, his eyes full of sadness: "No, during the day, it has nothing to do with you. Really, I won't lie to you."

"But, can't you wait any longer?"

"I didn't say I was going to leave immediately. I will accompany you until the holiday and I will go back."

"I don't want you to go."

"Don't be so childish, will you?" he said to me, but I turned away from him.I felt him standing behind me for a long time, I didn't move, and neither did he.However, he finally came over and hugged me gently from behind.My tears were wet, and I raised my hand to wipe away the tears from the corners of my eyes.

When I went to bed that night, I slept on the bed and Yu Xia slept on the sofa.I tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep, and Yu Xia in the living room obviously didn't fall asleep either.The next day I got up early to go to work and he got up too.

"Don't get up." I said.

"I quit my job anyway, so I'll go to your place, and you don't need to run back and forth." We walked to the motorcycle, and he said, "Let me ride."

I sat behind him with a lot of sadness in my heart.I hugged his waist tightly, this time, I didn't care about anyone looking at us.He was holding the handle with one hand, and with the other hand, he gently covered the back of my hand. After a while, he let go again.

He was with me the last days before New Years.I went to work, and he stayed at home. He didn't go anywhere except to buy food and clothing on the street.I hurried home as soon as I got off work. Wen Xue asked me out several times, but I refused.We all want to spend as much time as possible with each other.

In those days, he swept away the melancholy of the past and smiled every day.I know he doesn't want me to be sad.But, how can I not be sad?

Every day when I get off work, he prepares a meal early and waits for me to come back.After dinner, we either chat, watch movies, or play games.I wish time stood still like this.

Many times, I want to tell him, you stay, no matter what you want me to do, I just ask you to stay.But when the words came to my lips, I didn't say them after all.

After dinner that day, we sat in the living room and chatted.He leaned on the sofa, and my head rested on his shoulder. I didn't move away, and he didn't say anything.

We sat there for a long time, and then he broke the silence: "Wen Xue is a good girl." I was silent.He continued, "I know, Wen Xue loves you very much. You must treat her kindly, and you must not let her down."

What can I say?These words, I clearly know that he is right.He understands everything and just wants me to be happy.

"What do you want from now on?"

"That's it, what else can I do?" He smiled lightly.

"Have you lived alone like this?" I asked him.

He looked at me with mixed emotions in his eyes.Then he smiled and said: "Maybe I will find someone I love, and you don't have to worry about me anymore." I didn't expect him to answer like this.I don't want him to be alone, but I don't want him to go to someone else.

He carefully observed my expression: "Don't you want me to be happy?"

"No, I hope you are happy." But, I really don't want you to be like this, Yu Xia.

Tomorrow, Yu Xia will go home.He had already taken care of everything the day before.He returned the rented house in the East City and moved his luggage to me.Looking at the suitcase in the corner, I felt various feelings in my heart.Everything that needs to be said has been said, and we are relatively speechless.

It was late at night, and I told him to sleep, and I had to get up early tomorrow morning.He nodded, and after we finished washing, he picked up a quilt and threw it on the sofa.

I said, "Don't sleep on the sofa tonight." Seeing him looking at me, I explained with difficulty, "Go to bed tonight, you will be leaving tomorrow, you should have a good sleep."

He doesn't insist anymore.Silently walked to the room.He lay down on the bed and covered himself with the quilt indiscriminately.I bent down and stretched the quilt.I sat on the bed, ready to lie down.I didn't go to get the quilt on the sofa, and he didn't go to get it either. Without saying anything, he lifted a corner of the quilt and let me lie down.

We sleep together again.Every time he hugged me to sleep, my heart was both sweet and bitter.

Now, although we are covered with a quilt, there is still a distance between us.We do not break this distance.The lights were turned off, and the room was dark, only the faint moonlight reflected from the window.I wasn't asleep, and neither was he.

He stretched out his hand, and in the darkness, I saw him wiping his tears with his hand.He was a strong man who never shed a tear in front of me.My heart is even more sad.Realizing that I wasn't asleep yet, he stretched his hand upwards from his face and under his head to cover up his movement of wiping his tears just now.

He folded his hands under his head and sighed softly.I leaned my head toward him, and then, I lay in his arms.He didn't move, and neither did I.

After a long time, he gently pulled his hand out from under his head, and then hugged me tenderly.

I burst into tears.I turned over and buried my head in his shoulder, letting the tears flow.He gently wiped away my tears.

I fell asleep, and in my dream, he smiled at me, then turned and walked away.I called his name: "Yu Xia, Yu Xia." I said loudly, "Don't go."

He pushed me: "You are dreaming." I woke up with wet face.It was already dawn.

I raised my head to look at him, and he also looked at me with tenderness like water.What can I do in the face of such tenderness?I really want to tell him that if you stay, I will accompany you for the rest of my life.But is this okay?

I suppressed the bursts of impulse in my heart and only looked at him with sad eyes.Maybe I kiss him and he won't go away.But, I can't.In this way, we will fall into the abyss of eternal doom.I can't do this.But, I don't want you to go.I really don't want you to go.And the sky is already slightly bright.

He picked up the luggage and opened the door, and I leaned in front of the door to watch him.His eyes were full of reluctance.He turned and walked away, I didn't see him off.I don't want to suffer another separation.He put down his luggage and turned around. I thought he was going to stay, but he just turned around and gave me a deep hug.

"Take care." He stretched out his hand to my chest, picked up the lucky charm and looked at it, "I wish you happiness during the day."

I didn't say a word.I am speechless.He turned his head and left.I closed the door and slid my body to the ground along the door.

I sat on the floor and wailed.

3. After separation

One day and one night, I didn't leave the room.I didn't eat or drink, just sat there in a daze.

There is a knock on the door.I didn't answer.The knock on the door became more and more urgent, I opened the door, and it was Wen Xue.

"what happened to you?"

"He's gone," I said.

"Did you go home for the New Year?"

"He's not coming back."

Wen Xue also sat down beside me and hugged me gently.After a long time, she said: "The company is holding a New Year's party tonight, do you want to attend?"

I shook my head.Wen Xue stood up, made a phone call, and told me that she was not going either, and she wanted to stay with me.She went to the kitchen to make food and handed it to me, and I shook my head.She stretched out the hand holding the meal, stubbornly refusing to take it back.I had to take it.

I picked up a little bit casually, and I felt that I was slowing down again.

The phone rang, I hurriedly took out my phone, it must be Yu Xia.But no.It's mom.

"During the day, why haven't you come back yet? When will you come back?"

"I'm going back." I said mechanically.

"What's wrong? Did you quarrel with Wen Xue?"

"No, we are doing well." Wen Xue said into the phone.

Mother heard Wen Xue's voice and said excitedly: "Wen Xue, is that you? This year's Chinese New Year, you are going to come with Bai Tian to celebrate the New Year."

"I..." Wen Xue didn't know what to say.

"You must come here," my mother's words turned to me, "During the day, you must bring Wen Xue back and let my father and I have a look."

Wen Xue looked at me, and I silently nodded to her.She smiled sweetly: "Auntie, I said during the day that we will go back together during the Chinese New Year."

I took Wen Xue home.Everyone is happy, only me is not happy.

It's time to go to bed, only Wen Xue and I are left in the room.I sat on the edge of the bed, and Wen Xue also sat down.Mom has made the bed tidy, and the whole room is filled with a faint fragrance.

We did not speak for a long time.Wen Xue broke the silence: "Lay it down, I'll sleep on the floor."

I hurriedly said: "I sleep on the floor." I spread a quilt on the floor and lay down.Wen Xue glanced at me and fell asleep on the bed.

In the dark, my thoughts are flying, will my future be tied to this girl?We will walk into marriage, no one cares if you are happy or not.I thought so sadly that I couldn't fall asleep for a long time.

But so what?The cowardly side of my character was revealed again. I easily accepted my fate and bowed my head to the world.

At the urging of my parents, relatives and friends, just after the new year, Wen Xue and I held an engagement ceremony.

The happiest is Mom and Dad.Of course, there is also Wen Xue.I stood on the stage, facing the blessings of relatives and friends, I was like a wooden man, and the corners of my eyes gradually became wet.I thought of Yu Xia, from then on, we were just passers-by.

I wiped away my tears with my hands.Mom said I was too excited, but how could she understand her son's heart?

Days are the same as usual, and there is no difference from the past.Except for Wen Xue's parents, none of my colleagues knew about our engagement.Wen Xue never shows off, and we are still the same as before, walking every day in a tepid way.

And in my room alone, there is less expectation.Every weekend, there is no one who can be with me anymore.

Without Yu Xia, my life becomes meaningless.I regret it.I should have expressed my feelings for him, I should have asked him to stay.In those days, I thought about these things over and over again, but in the end it turned into a sigh.

The only happy time is when talking to Yu Xia.Almost every day, Yu Xia and I have a phone call.We chatted about anything casually, and chatted casually.

Only when I talk to Yu Xia, can I wake up like a dead tree, and my lonely heart can wake up.Hanging up the phone, my heart sank into the dark night again.

This situation lasted for more than a month, and I found that the situation has changed slightly.

In the past, every time it was Yu Xia who took the initiative to call, but later on he took the initiative less and less, and it became me who took the initiative.In the end, when I called him, he might not answer every time.After a long time, I called back to explain.

He had many reasons, he was busy, didn't take his mobile phone, didn't hear him, was on the road, and so on.

I'm thinking wildly, Yu Xia, why stay away from me?Do you have a boyfriend yet?However, I dare not ask him, I am afraid that if I ask, I will get his affirmative answer.One day is a day to avoid it.He's willing to tell me, and he'll tell me.However, he never said it.I have never asked the exit.

I decided not to call Yu Xia anymore, I want to see how long it will take for him to call me if I don't call him.A day passed without a call from him.Two days later, still no call from him.

I finally couldn't bear it anymore.On the third day, I called.no respond.No response all day.

At night, I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep.Yu Xia, do you know that I miss you?I can not live without you.But why are you so unfeeling that you don't even make a phone call?

Finally, his call came.

"I've been waiting for you all day." I blurted out.

"Sorry," he said, "I don't have my phone with me."

"Did you just come back?" I asked him.

"Yes." he said.Come back so late, must have a boyfriend.

I asked him: "Yu Xia, can I ask you something?"

"Tell me." Yu Xia laughed.

"I think you've changed."

"Changed?" he said, "No."

"You don't answer every phone call."

"Well, sometimes I have something to do and it's inconvenient to answer the phone. But I really didn't deliberately not answer your call. You see, I will call you later. "

"Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked him bluntly.

"Me?" He pondered for a moment, "Why do you think so?"

"I think you're estranged from me." I was aggrieved.

There was a long silence over there, and he didn't speak or refute.I got it right.Yu Xia, he has a boyfriend.

I'm a bit lost.Only separated for three months, he already has a boyfriend.And he didn't tell me.I sighed.I don't blame Yu Xia.All of this is my fault, my giving up, how can I blame him?

"I'll call you when I'm free, okay?" He said, "I have something to do and I'm going to hang up." So late, what could happen?Presumably he was avoiding his boyfriend to call me, and hung up after saying a few words in a hurry. He must be afraid that his boyfriend would hear me.

I am heartbroken.Yu Xia has a boyfriend.He kept away from me a little bit, and called less and less, all showed his attitude.

I also gradually lost contact with Yu Xia, from every day at the beginning, to once every two or three days, to once a week.

During those days, Wen Xue was always by my side.

Sometimes, I feel that Wen Xue is not my girlfriend, more often she plays the role of my confidant.There is no love between us, I think she knows it, she just waited for me silently.

About Yu Xia, I didn't mention it to her. I can only taste this kind of longing and pain alone.

My father and mother kept calling me, urging me to get married.Every time I want to tell them loudly, I don't want to get married, I just want Yu Xia.However, every time, such a word, I can't say it.

I gradually had the idea of ​​leaving.I want to escape from the city related to Yu Xia.In this city, his shadow is everywhere, making me unable to breathe.

I wrote the resignation letter, but before I submitted it, I was summoned by the president.The company headquarters wants to set up a branch in the city where my hometown is located, and intends to let me be the local manager.

This news gave me some relief.It's good for me that I don't have to quit my job and get away from the city.Wen Xue also knew the news, facing her inquiry