I'm fine during the day

Knowing that he is in this city, but not being able to see him.For me, it is a kind of torment.It's Wednesday now, and I won't see him until Friday, two days later.After get off work, I squeezed into the bus by accident. I was going to find Yu Xia, and I wanted to experience his feelings of running back and forth a while ago.

It was midnight when we arrived at his residence.I took out the key he had left for me, and tiptoedly opened the door.In the dark, I heard his slight breathing in sleep.I opened the cabinet and wanted to find a quilt.

My voice startled him.He said, "Who?"

"it's me."

I heard him laugh in the dark.He turned on the light: "Why are you here?"

"I..." I didn't know what to say.I looked at the open cabinet and avoided his question, "I didn't want to disturb you, I want to find a quilt to sleep on the sofa."

"The things here are not ready yet, only this quilt." He chuckled, pointing to the quilt on his body, "I'll buy another one tomorrow."

"But..." But what about tonight?

"Come on, squeeze it," he said.I blushed.He looked at me with a smirk, "Come on, I won't bully you."

For the first time in my life, we were so close, I suppressed the impulse in my heart, and moved a little to the side to prevent my body from touching him.

He stretched his arms and raised his head to look at me, his face was close to mine, and my heart was beating out of my body.I pushed him and pretended to joke: "What do you want to do? You told me not to bully me."

I reached out to turn off the light, and yawned in the dark, "I'm so tired, I can fall asleep as soon as I close my eyes."

"Go to sleep then."

I lay there, not daring to move, for fear that I would bump into him soon.I regret it a little now, I shouldn't have come to him.In the dark night, I examine my heart.What am I thinking?What kind of life do I want?

I remembered what we said in Dashishan that night, and I clearly knew what I was thinking, and I understood my heart.But maybe knowing that there is no possibility of surviving, I have the courage to say that.Had I known we would be saved, I might never have said that.

Family pressure, worldly views, all of these are a kind of net, which makes it impossible for us to escape.I don't know what kind of thinking Yu Xia is thinking, maybe he is stronger than me, maybe he has been waiting for me, but I am cowardly, I just want to keep the current relationship.

But now, am I playing with fire?I clearly knew his feelings, but I walked in the fire, and I was afraid that the fire would burn me.I want to keep this kind of ambiguity, I hope to go further, but I hope this kind of ambiguity will never be broken.

I can't, I can't go one step further, let myself and him sink deeper.

I was so cranky.I felt him move towards me, he turned over and turned his body to my side, I quickly turned over and gave him a back.

I opened my eyes, afraid of what he might do.But I know that if I don't want to, he won't do anything.

I know he wasn't asleep either.We kept a distance like this.I don't know how long it took, but I felt his hand stretched out, but I didn't dare to move.I know that once something is broken, once it is broken, it can never go back to the original state.

My emotions were expecting something to happen, and my mind was telling me, no.

He hugged me gently, I didn't move, pretending to be asleep.He didn't make any other movements, just hugged me gently, put his body close to my back, and hugged me in his arms.He fell asleep quickly, and I gradually fell asleep.

When I was soundly asleep, Yu Xia woke me up: "During the day, get up."

I looked at the sky outside, it was still dark. "It's so early. I'm so sleepy. I want to sleep for a while."

"If you don't get up, you'll be late for work."

I got up straight away.He also sat up.

"Go to sleep, don't get up." I said to him.

"fine."

"But, you never let me get up." Those mornings when he was running back and forth, he definitely didn't want me to get up.

"You go out to the bus station, but I'm still far away from the bus station." He always has a reason.

We are walking in the city that is getting brighter.

"It's been a long time since I woke up so early, the air is so fresh." I stretched out my arms, like a bird flying. "Oh, I'm going to fly."

"You are not allowed to come again," he said.

"Don't you want me to come?" I asked knowingly.

"you know what I mean."

"I do not know."

I ran a few steps forward, then stopped, and turned to look at him: "Come on, see if you can catch me."

He still walked at his usual pace: "What's the good of catching you?"

"There are many benefits, come on."

He walked a few steps, and when he was about to catch me, I turned around and ran away quickly.

Running away from him, I stopped again. "I dare say, you can't catch me if I go backwards."

"That's why I don't want to chase, okay?"

"Then you come and chase." I walked backwards while teasing him.

He ignored me and still walked slowly, always only a few steps away from me.

If he doesn't chase me, I don't have energy anymore.I stretched out my left hand and waved it in front of him, making a last effort, "Do you want to grab—?"

"Be careful!" He interrupted me, our voices landed almost at the same time,

Before it was too late, his right hand had already grabbed my left hand.I blushed, I didn't expect him to come for real.I struggled with my hand and wanted to break free, but he held on tighter.

"There are steps at the back," he said.

I turned around and saw a few steps behind me.Fortunately, he caught me in time, otherwise I would have sprained my ankle.I froze for a moment, only for a moment like that, our fingers were already intertwined.

I blushed.I dare not go to see him.

We held hands like this, stepped down the steps, and continued to walk forward.This is our first intimate contact.

My heart is sweet, I think we both know each other's hearts.If I can go on like this forever, Yu Xia, I am willing.

It was already dawn.We walked on the street full of morning light, our hands did not let go.

I turned my head and took a peek at Yu Xia, his expression was happy, and I was happy.

Although there was a moment, I said to myself that I couldn't do this.But I refuse to let go, I am greedy for the beauty of this moment.

Two girls passed by us, they looked at us with disdainful eyes, and snorted softly.My heart trembled, and with a little effort, I broke away from his hand.He glanced at me, and I looked away.It was only a few seconds like this, but it seemed like centuries had passed.

All the way to the bus stop, I didn't look up at him again, nor did I speak.

When the car came, I peeked at him, and his face showed a rare disappointment.I broke the embarrassment: "I will come to you tomorrow."

His face was immediately filled with a smile: "I'll go find you."

"No, I'll find you." I said firmly.

"Alright then." He chuckled.