I'm fine during the day

After get off work, go back to the empty room, without Yu Xia, the time alone is always boring.After making a pack of instant noodles, I casually ate a few mouthfuls, then sat on the sofa in a daze.

If Yu Xia is here, there must be plenty on our table.While thinking this way, Yu Xia called, and there was a noisy voice.

"Where are you?" I asked him.

"I'm sinking." Yu Xia said.

"What sinks?"

"That's... that's the bar we passed by that time."

"Which one?" Before he could answer, I had already remembered.That gay bar. "How did you get there?"

"I didn't plan to go in. I met one of my colleagues and he invited me in."

"Colleague?" What colleague?How come I never heard him say that.

"I saw you and told you," he said.

"Is your colleague handsome?" I asked him.

"He was dancing with his boyfriend." He answered irrelevantly.

Boy friend.His colleague has a boyfriend.I'm relieved, but I'm still worried.

"There are a lot of handsome guys, right?"

"There are a lot of handsome guys." Yu Xia smiled happily on the phone.

"Oh." I don't know what to say?

Yu Xia was still laughing over there.

"Has anyone approached you?" I pretended to be relaxed.

"No." Yu Xia denied.

A strange man's voice came from the phone, "Handsome guy." "I have something to do." It was Yu Xia's voice.

"Liar." Obviously someone strikes up a conversation, but he said no.

"I didn't know it was such a coincidence, and I said I have something to do." Yu Xia explained to me.

"Come back, that place is too messy." I said to him.

"Okay, listen to you." He replied straightforwardly.

I paced back and forth in the living room.Yu Xia actually went to the gay bar alone, I felt an indescribable feeling in my heart.I avoided Yu Xia's emotions, but I didn't want him to be taken away by others.How contradictory I am, maybe, I am such a contradictory person.

I lay on the bed, feeling restless.Yu Xia said she wanted to go back, but did he really go back?After thinking about it, I opened the door of the house, rented a motorcycle, and rushed to Dongcheng at a gallop.

When I arrived, Yu Xia had already fallen asleep.Seeing me, he couldn't laugh or cry: "I said I would come back, and I have to supervise myself."

"I just want to supervise you. Remember, I will always supervise you. I am afraid that you will make mistakes if you are not careful." My tone was like a teacher accusing a student.

He listened obediently: "I know. I was wrong, I shouldn't go to that kind of place. "

"That's right." I nodded.

He went on to say: "Why do you not trust people so much?"

"Hey," I said seriously, "It's not that I don't believe you, it's that the temptation outside is too great, and I'm afraid you will be led astray by bad people."

"Okay, I'm convinced. I called you just now, why didn't you answer? I thought you were asleep."

"Oh," I took out my phone and looked at it, "I was riding too fast, I didn't hear you."

"Don't ride so fast in the future, you should pay attention to safety, you know. It's midnight now, and it's time to go if you can't sleep for a while. Go to sleep."

"How can I sleep, I'm worried about you." I asked him, "Now tell me, why do you want to go there?"

"I want to go out to buy something at night, walk there..."

"That's not the main road, you did it on purpose."

"Don't you know that alley is closer to home?"

"I know, I know. Say it."

"When I was passing there, I happened to see one of my colleagues. He walked over with a boy holding hands. When he saw me, he introduced me generously and said that it was his boyfriend." He glanced at me , I nodded and signaled him to continue.

He smiled and continued, "I just said, you are very happy, and I envy you very much. He told me that they were going to sink, and invited me to go in and sit for a while, and I went."

"Did you have fun?" I asked him.

"I didn't play." Yu Xia said, "After we went in, my colleague and his boyfriend went dancing. I will report to you immediately. After he finished dancing and had a chat, I went home."

"Don't go to that kind of place again, it's messy."

"Well, I just want to take a look and satisfy my curiosity, and I won't go if you invite me in the future."

"That's good."

"Actually, I'm quite envious of my colleague. He and his boyfriend can openly disclose themselves. I think he is quite brave."

"Yes. I admire him very much." I said with emotion.Yu Xia looked at me with encouraging eyes.I didn't dare to meet his gaze again, I flinched, "But there are too few people who are brave enough to come out."

I am telling the truth.I admire those brave people who come out, they dare to reveal their true selves, but I can only hide in the closet.I want to come out, but I dare not come out. This is also where my inner contradiction lies.I am afraid of secular prejudice and the colored eyes of others. I am cowardly.

Yu Xia nodded.His expression is complicated.He sat on the couch and I sat next to him.He lowered his head, as if thinking about something.

"What are you thinking?"

He glanced at me and said to me, more like to himself: "During the day, don't you feel ashamed to be gay, right? But, if we look down on ourselves, what will others think of us? Regardless of homosexuality Or straight, we all have the right to love, we're all the same, aren't we?"

"Yeah." I admit he was right.

I froze suddenly.us.Am I admitting that I am gay too?We all know this, though.

I have never admitted to others that I am gay, but in fact, I just don't want to admit it.

He waited quietly for a while, seeing that I didn't say anything, he sighed.

"My colleague is currently planning a dating site for the gay community."

"what?"

"A dating site for the gay community, where there is no discrimination and everyone is equal, just like a big family." Yu Xia looked at me, "Maybe in the eyes of others, I am special, but I don't Think I'm special. We're just like everyone else, aren't we?"

What can i say?Yu Xia is brave, he can face his own heart, but I can't.

"Daytime, thank you for walking with me for so long." Yu Xia looked at me with gentle eyes.

Early on Saturday morning, Yu Xia started calling me.

"The meal is ready, let's get up and eat."

"It's so early, I can't get up."

"Get up." Yu Xia said, "After dinner, let's go to the suburbs for a day of fun. I haven't relaxed for a long time."

"Okay." I jumped up.

Yu Xia has prepared a meal and is waiting for me.In life, Yu Xia always plays the role of a caregiver, and I am happy to enjoy all of this.

After dinner, we went downstairs, and Yu Xia stopped by a yellow motorcycle: "What do you think of this motorcycle?"

"It's pretty good," I said, "Didn't you say you wanted to buy one?"

"Yeah, so, this is our motorcycle."

"Wow, really? That's great." I walked around the motorcycle. I'm not only happy that we own a motorcycle, but I'm relieved now that Yu Xia bought a motorcycle. He is Live in this city with peace of mind.

Yu Xia looked at me and smiled happily.I said: "You come to ride today, your motorcycle."

"Our motorcycle." Yu Xia corrected me.

"Our motorcycle." I repeated.

Yu Xia rode the motorcycle, and I sat in the back, feeling 1 happy.The motorcycle turned a corner and drove at a high speed.I quickly put my hand on his waist.The field was silent, just the two of us.My hand didn't leave his waist, but gradually hugged him.Like the last time when Yu Xia hugged my waist, I pressed against his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

I hope this road goes on forever.

We chased and played in the wilderness. Although it was winter, we were still sweating from the heat.

"Take a break, I'm a little tired." Yu Xia stopped.I also stopped chasing.The sun gradually hung overhead, we sat down and leaned against the big tree to bask in the sun.

"Sit here and rest for a while, I'll get some food." I said to Yu Xia.Yu Xia used to cook for me, but today Yu Xia is in such a good mood, I want to make it for him once.

"I'll do it." Yu Xia said as she wanted to stand up.

I hurried to stop him. "You are tired, take a rest."

"Okay." He closed his eyes and meditated.

"Don't fall asleep." I said, picked up some firewood, lit a fire and started cooking.

When everything was ready, I went to call Yu Xia and came to him, trying to scare him, I shook my hand in front of him twice, but he didn't move, obviously fell asleep.

Although there is sunlight, if you fall asleep like this, you will freeze to death.I reached out, trying to wake him up.The hand stretched out, then retracted again.He was sleeping soundly, like an angel, so quiet.

Recently, he has been quite tired from work, he has lost a lot of weight, and his face looks a little pale.A pity welled up in my heart.My hand stroked his hair slowly, with thousands of thoughts in my heart.

Yu Xia opened her eyes, I hurriedly withdrew my hand.He was taken aback.

"The leaf fell on your head. I'll help you remove it." I said nonchalantly, "The meal is ready, let's eat."

"Did I fall asleep just now?" he asked me.

"Yeah, if you don't fall asleep, you won't be able to catch a cold."

"Don't worry about me, just take care of yourself." He stood up and stretched.