I'm fine during the day

"During the day, there is something I want to tell you." He said solemnly, and my heart was suddenly startled.

"What?" I've never seen him so serious before.

"Dad called a few days ago, he wanted me to go home." For the first time, Yu Xia looked at me with such despairing eyes.

"What?" I stood up with a "teng".

"I haven't promised him yet." He said quickly.

Just as I was relieved, he said again: "I told him that I would think about it, otherwise, he would not let me go."

"Don't think about it, you must not go back. What should I do if you go back?" I looked directly at him.

"I don't want to go back either, my father has been urging me." He looked at me affectionately, "You know, if one day I leave you, I will be very sad."

It's not Yu Xia who is sad, but also me.

I reached out, and my hand touched his, and I squeezed his hand tightly.

He didn't move, and after a few seconds, he turned his hand over and covered mine.We hold hands tightly.

My heart beat out of my chest.

I gently withdrew my hand: "Yu Xia, promise me that we will never separate, okay?" I thought, I was selfish.I just want to have Yu Xia's friendship, for the rest of my life.

"Okay. If I know, I won't tell you." He raised his hand, with tears in his smile, "I'm very stressed when you're like this."

Yu Xia began to become haggard, he looked at me with sadness in his eyes.Several times, he wanted to say something, I knew what he wanted to say, I wanted him to say it, but I was afraid he would say it.

I felt sorry for Yu Xia, and watched him lose weight, but there was nothing I could do.I know he's in a bad mood and I'm not in a good mood either.

As if knowing a treasure was about to be lost, I cherished the time we had.In those days, I rushed to Yu Xia's house every day after get off work, and the winter nights and early mornings were particularly deserted, but in order to be able to see him every day, what was the cold?

Yu Xia said not to rush back and forth, but I know he is willing in his heart.Just let the days go on like this, and it will be fine.

"You've been running back and forth for a week, I'll go to your place next week." Yu Xia said to me.

"I don't allow it." I said, "It's almost Chinese New Year, and I'm free at work, so let me come to you." I thought Yu Xia would refuse, but he didn't expect him to stop refuting.

Every day I ride Yu Xia's motorcycle and run around the city.I am happy to see Yu Xia every day.

I often tease him with small jokes, and he also cooperates with my jokes, with a smile on his face.But I observed secretly for a long time, after leaving my sight, his face became more and more heavy.

I know that Yu Xia has something on her mind.

He has a lot on his mind, but he refuses to tell me.And I can't ask.

On the weekend, Yu Xia got up early and washed up in the bathroom.I originally wanted to stay in bed for a while, but after thinking about it, I also got up and walked into the bathroom.

Yu Xia was taking something from his pocket, I walked over quietly to see what he was doing.I saw clearly that what he took out was a folded medicine bag, and when he opened it, there were several pills.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked him, "What medicine are you taking?"

He was startled: "how did you get up?"

I pointed to his medicine: "What's wrong with you?"

"I always feel very tired recently. The doctor said that I lack immunity and prescribed me some medicine to improve immunity." He walked into the back room of the bathroom, opened the toilet seat, and threw the medicine in with a "snap", " I hate taking pills. I'm never going to take them again."

"Hey," I stopped him, but he had already thrown the medicine in, closed the toilet lid, and pressed the button, and the water flushed away the medicine with a "squeak".

"Why throw it away, you can eat a little to increase your immunity." I said to him, "Look at you, you have lost a lot of weight during this period."

"I'm tired of taking medicine." He smiled at me, "I can also improve my immunity by exercising my body."

"You, disobedient." I said to him, "Forget it this time, don't let me catch you next time."

"Listen to you."

One night, when I went to Yu Xia's place, he was still sitting in a daze.

I took off my coat and hung it on the hanger, "Hey." He didn't move.

"Still waiting for me, why don't you sleep first."

"I handed in my resignation letter today," he said.

"What?" I jumped up. "I won't allow you to do this."

"I can't help it. My father wants me to go home. What can I do?" He said, "I don't want to leave, and I don't want to leave you. But..."

"But what?" I was a little desperate.

"Mom and Dad are old, they need me to take care of them, and my father's business also needs me to take care of them. I can't be selfish and leave them at home. You know, they used to be out of town all year round, just I returned to my hometown because of poor health. I am their only son and I should go back."

He took out his parents to talk about things, what can I say?But I know that this is by no means the reason for his leaving.

I looked at him: "You left because of me, didn't you?" I looked straight into his eyes, trying to see the truth of the matter from his eyes.

He shook his head, his eyes full of sadness: "No, during the day, it has nothing to do with you. Really, I won't lie to you."

"But, can't you wait any longer?"

"I didn't say I was going to leave immediately. I will accompany you until the holiday and I will go back."

"I don't want you to go."

"Don't be so childish, will you?" he said to me, but I turned away from him.I felt him standing behind me for a long time, I didn't move, and neither did he.However, he finally came over and hugged me gently from behind.My tears were wet, and I raised my hand to wipe away the tears from the corners of my eyes.

When I went to bed that night, I slept on the bed and Yu Xia slept on the sofa.I tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep, and Yu Xia in the living room obviously didn't fall asleep either.The next day I got up early to go to work and he got up too.

"Don't get up." I said.

"I quit my job anyway, so I'll go to your place, and you don't need to run back and forth." We walked to the motorcycle, and he said, "Let me ride."

I sat behind him with a lot of sadness in my heart.I hugged his waist tightly, this time, I didn't care about anyone looking at us.He was holding the handle with one hand, and with the other hand, he gently covered the back of my hand. After a while, he let go again.

He was with me the last days before New Years.I went to work, and he stayed at home. He didn't go anywhere except to buy food and clothing on the street.I hurried home after work, and we all wanted to spend as much time as possible with each other.

In those days, he swept away the melancholy of the past and smiled every day.I know he doesn't want me to be sad.But, how can I not be sad?

Every day when I get off work, he prepares a meal early and waits for me to come back.After dinner, we either chat, watch movies, or play games.I wish time stood still like this.

Many times, I want to tell him, you stay, no matter what you want me to do, I just ask you to stay.But when the words came to my lips, I didn't say them after all.

After dinner that day, we sat in the living room and chatted.He leaned on the sofa, and my head rested on his shoulder. I didn't move away, and he didn't say anything.

"What do you want from now on?"

"That's it, what else can I do?" He smiled lightly.

"Have you lived alone like this?" I asked him.

He looked at me with mixed emotions in his eyes.Then he smiled and said: "Maybe I will find someone I love, and you don't have to worry about me anymore." I didn't expect him to answer like this.I don't want him to be alone, but I don't want him to go to someone else.

He carefully observed my expression: "Don't you want me to be happy?"

"No, I hope you are happy." But, I really don't want you to be like this, Yu Xia.

Tomorrow, Yu Xia will go home.He had already taken care of everything the day before.He returned the rented house in the East City and moved his luggage to me.Looking at the suitcase in the corner, I felt various feelings in my heart.Everything that needs to be said has been said, and we are relatively speechless.

It was late at night, and I told him to sleep, and I had to get up early tomorrow morning.He nodded, and after we finished washing, he picked up a quilt and threw it on the sofa.

I said, "Don't sleep on the sofa tonight." Seeing him looking at me, I explained with difficulty, "Go to bed tonight, you will be leaving tomorrow, you should have a good sleep."

He doesn't insist anymore.Silently walked to the room.He lay down on the bed and covered himself with the quilt indiscriminately.I bent down and stretched the quilt.I sat on the bed, ready to lie down.I didn't go to get the quilt on the sofa, and he didn't go to get it either. Without saying anything, he lifted a corner of the quilt and let me lie down.

We sleep together again.Every time he hugged me to sleep, my heart was both sweet and bitter.

Now, although we are covered with a quilt, there is still a distance between us.We do not break this distance.The lights were turned off, and the room was dark, only the faint moonlight reflected from the window.I wasn't asleep, and neither was he.

He stretched out his hand, and in the darkness, I saw him wiping his tears with his hand.He was a strong man who never shed a tear in front of me.My heart is even more sad.Realizing that I wasn't asleep yet, he stretched his hand upwards from his face and under his head to cover up his movement of wiping his tears just now.

He folded his hands under his head and sighed softly.I leaned my head toward him, and then, I lay in his arms.He didn't move, and neither did I.

After a long time, he gently pulled his hand out from under his head, and then hugged me tenderly.

I burst into tears.I turned over and buried my head in his shoulder, letting the tears flow.He gently wiped away my tears.

I fell asleep, and in my dream, he smiled at me, then turned and walked away.I called his name: "Yu Xia, Yu Xia." I said loudly, "Don't go."

He pushed me: "You are dreaming." I woke up with wet face.It was already dawn.

I raised my head to look at him, and he also looked at me with tenderness like water.What can I do in the face of such tenderness?I really want to tell him that if you stay, I will accompany you for the rest of my life.But is this okay?

I suppressed the bursts of impulse in my heart and only looked at him with sad eyes.Maybe I kiss him and he won't go away.But, I can't.In this way, we will fall into the abyss of eternal doom.I can't do this.But, I don't want you to go.I really don't want you to go.And the sky is already slightly bright.

He picked up the luggage and opened the door, and I leaned in front of the door to watch him.His eyes were full of reluctance.He turned and walked away, I didn't see him off.I don't want to suffer another separation.He put down his luggage and turned around. I thought he was going to stay, but he just turned around and gave me a deep hug.

"Take care." He stretched out his hand to my chest, picked up the lucky charm and looked at it, "I wish you happiness during the day."

I didn't say a word.I am speechless.He turned his head and left.I closed the door and slid my body to the ground along the door.

I sat on the floor and wailed.