PARASITE PARADISE

8. We are all unforgiving villains, love but also want to hurt

"Huh? Resign?" Zong Mu was changing his clothes and suddenly stopped when he heard Cicada's words, "Why, didn't you do a good job?"

"Mr. Youyu and I are going to move, so we have to resign." Cicada took the box that was prepared in advance and took out the things in the locker one by one and put them in the box. He hesitated for a long time and didn't know what to say. He wanted to keep him, but the reason for Cicada's resignation made it impossible for him to stay.

"Why, don't you miss me? You just admit that you like me, maybe before I leave, I can give you a farewell kiss or something." Cicada looked at Zongmu's hesitant expression and thought it was very funny, so she endured it. I couldn't help joking about it.

When Zong Mu heard this, he immediately stopped being depressed, and said back: "You can be so beautiful, who cares about you."

"It's enough for Mr. Youyu to care about me." Cicada said with a smile.

Zong Mu gave Cicada a blank look, and said angrily: "Show affection, die quickly."

Cicada didn't speak any more, but concentrated on packing up his things. Zongmu had already changed into women's clothes, put on heavy makeup, and stood at the door with his hands folded across his chest, waiting for Cicada. Seeing that Cicada had packed up, he said: " Come on, I'll take you to the back door."

Cicada looked at Zongmu who was as beautiful and alluring as ever, smiled and said, "Yes."

The two came to the back door in silence. Zong Mu opened the back door for Cicada, who was holding the box, and asked, "Where are you going to move?"

"Hmm... south?"

"Right? You quit your job before you decided where to move?"

"Well, I want to spend more time with Mr. Youyu."

"...Damn couple, I'm really asking for food." Zongmu rolled his eyes to the sky, but he still didn't forget to care about the cicadas, "It's colder in the south than here, and it's almost winter now. You remember to bring a few more thick clothes, even if you are in good health, you can't die."

"Well, I know, after all, I also grew up in the south when I was a child."

"Also... take good care of yourself, find a decent job, and live a good life with Mr. Youyu."

"Are you always this verbose when you wear women's clothing? No one will want you like this, Zongmu."

"I want you to mind your own business! Go and leave me alone with your Mr. Youyu." Zong Mu stretched out his hand and waved to indicate that the cicada could go, and the cicada smiled and said with the box in his arms, "I won't see you when I leave this time." Have you met?"

"What are you afraid of? Don't you have a mobile phone? I will often harass you. If you accidentally disturb your happy life with Mr. Youyu, don't blame me."

"Hahaha, it's scary for Mr. Youyu to get angry." Cicada laughed for a while and then said, "You should take good care of yourself too. You don't have much time to stay in Paradise City, and you should be with your ideal person as soon as possible." Let's meet."

Cicada's sudden and serious speech made Zongmu somewhat uncomfortable, but Zongmu was very moved by this kind of farewell words before he heard it. He glanced at the orange sky and said lightly: "Well, I will, the insect island I won’t go back to this ghostly place even if I die.”

"Then, goodbye."

"Well, goodbye, I will keep in touch when I have time."

Cicada froze for a moment, then nodded lightly and said "Yes", then turned and walked away. At this time, a gust of cold wind blew Zongmu's wig up, and Zongmu was shivering and mumbling under the cold wind. After saying "ah, it's so cold", he turned around and walked into the store, closing the back door.

This was the last time Zongmu saw Cicada.

On the way home, I passed by a grocery store. Cicada looked at the signboard of the grocery store and thought for a while, then walked in. After entering the door, she said, "Boss, do you have a slightly stronger ring lock?"

The boss who was taking a nap saw a guest coming in, but he didn’t warmly greet him. He just raised his eyelids a little, glanced at Cicada, then lazily pointed to the shelf next to him and said, “15 Paradise Coins.”

Cicada put down the box, walked to the shelf pointed by the boss, picked up the ring lock, took out 15 heaven coins from his pocket, and put it on the boss's open palm, then said "thank you", turned around, put the lock in the box, and picked it up The box rushed home.

After returning home, Cicada took out the lock and put it on the coffee table, then went to the kitchen and started making dinner. It was 1 hour and 13 minutes before Mr. Yu Yu got off work.

At 10:24 p.m. on October 6, after finishing dinner, Cicada took off his apron, picked up the ring lock in the box, and walked to the balcony. After arriving at the balcony, he closed the two glass doors of the balcony and locked the doorknob with the ring lock. Together, they turned around and threw out the keys in their hands, then lay down on the balcony and took out the cigarettes in their pockets, lit them and put them in their mouths, took a deep breath and exhaled a puff of smoke.

The white smoke drifted in the dark night. Cicada lowered her head to look at the endless stream of vehicles on the street downstairs and the people rushing home without stopping. The smoke was spit out one after another, and the sight of Cicada gradually faded away. Occupied by clouds of smoke.After a while after the cigarette was finished, Cicada threw down the unextinguished cigarette butt, and then he sat on the railing in front of him cautiously, with his legs exposed outside the railing, shaking back and forth, humming what he didn't know the name of Song.

Mr. Youyu should be back in less than half an hour, Cicada thought as she looked at the night sky where there were no stars or moon.

I don't know how Mr. Youyu will react when he sees me sitting on the balcony, he must be terrified.Thinking of this, Cicada couldn't help laughing, but the smile quickly disappeared, dissipating in this lonely night.

Mr. Youyu, I thought for a long time before I mustered up the courage to make this decision. I know you will never understand me or forgive me for doing this, but I want to end our twisted, wrong from beginning to end. because I don't want to...don't want to be anyone's shadow anymore.

This world is sick, but we are unconscious in it, we allow each other's tracks to intertwine and intertwine randomly, and finally brew this tragic world. I look at the track that connects us, above It is full of our own selfish desires, these selfish desires flow into our bodies, blinding our hearts and feelings, I can no longer let them continue to invade our bodies, at least I don’t want Mr. Youyu to live in self-deception every day middle.

I can't heal the pain my father and mother have brought to you, and I can't erase everything about your father from your eyes, so I want to let you take a look at the real "Cicada" in an extreme way, although This may cause you an unforgettable pain point, but I really want you to see me, or look at me.

When Cicada lowered his hair in a daze, he suddenly felt a drop of water dripping on his head. He just raised his head and another drop of water dripped into his eyes accurately. He lowered his head again, rubbed his eyes and murmured Said: "Ah, it's raining."

"Mr. You Yu doesn't seem to have an umbrella..."

The rain gradually became heavier, and the pedestrians on the road began to speed up their paces. Some were running wildly, and some chose to take shelter from the rain in nearby shops. Because it was night and it started to rain, no one seemed to notice that there was a fire on a tall building. A man was sitting on the balcony, swinging his legs leisurely and humming a song.

It didn't take long for Cicada's legs and chest to be soaked. The rain didn't seem to be weakening, but it was getting worse and worse. And Cicada didn't have the idea of ​​returning to the balcony. It feels like Shi Youyu is back.

As soon as Youyu entered the door, he began to think about it, complaining that the rain came so suddenly that his body was half wet by the rain. After taking off his shoes, he habitually looked at the kitchen but did not find the cicada, so he shouted : "Cicada? Are you..."

However, when she turned her head and saw Cicada sitting blankly on the balcony, You Yu immediately shouted: "Cicada! Are you crazy? Why are you sitting there? Come down!" When I was about to open the balcony door, I found that the door was locked from the outside, "Cicada?? What are you doing?"

After hearing Mr. Youyu's voice, Cicada carefully turned her body to Mr. Youyu, and then said to Mr. Youyu with a smile, "Yo, you're back."

"Yo what, what are you doing? Hurry up and get down for me." You Yu put his hand on the doorknob and tugged desperately, but he couldn't open the balcony door at all because of the lock.

Cicada supported the railing with both hands, and his legs were shaking back and forth. Seeing Mr. Youyu's anxious look, he couldn't help laughing, and said, "It's nothing, I'm waiting for you to come back and say goodbye to you."

"Farewell? What are you talking about..." You Yu looked at the calm-faced Cicada across the door and stopped abruptly, and a bad thought came to her mind in an instant, "Cicada...you won't ……you……"

"Well, that's what Mr. Youyu thinks." Cicada did not avoid Mr. Youyu's words, but faced Mr. Youyu who was already panicked with a very relieved attitude.

When Youyu saw Cicada's appearance, he became anxious instantly. He slammed the glass door of the balcony frantically and shouted: "Cicada! Cicada, come down for me! Don't do anything stupid! Come down for me!"

"Mr. Youyu is anxious, so it looks like this. It's the first time I've seen you." Cicada always had a smile on her face, while Youyu on the other side was already in a state of madness.

You Yu frantically knocked on the glass door and pulled the doorknob vigorously, but everything was in vain. At this moment, he suddenly thought of calling the police, so he hurriedly took out his mobile phone and called the police station, because he was worried about his language skills. I don’t know how much it has dropped, but he managed to make his words clear. Then he looked at the still smiling Cicada outside and felt that waiting for the police was not an option. He had to find something to smash the balcony door, and just as he was about to turn around and go When looking for something, the voice of cicada came from behind: "Mr. Youyu, do you want to hear the story of my father?"

For a moment, Youyu stopped in her tracks, and it was this instinctive stop that completely shattered Cicada's heart, which was still holding a trace of luck, into powder.

With this rain, it melted deep in the cicada's heart.

"Mr. Youyu's weakness is really easy to understand. Anything about your father will make you stop thinking for a moment, and then you can't move." You Yu's ear, and You Yu stopped moving for a moment just as the cicada said, he turned his head to look at the cicada in surprise and said: "What did you say?"

"Actually, I lied to Mr. Youyu from the very beginning. I said that my father never mentioned you. I lied to you." Cicada said slowly, her expression as calm as water, "Father mentioned you in front of me countless times. As well as the big and small things in your college days, I know everything between you and your father."

"Ah, but I found out that you like your father. My father never mentioned this to me. It's just that Mr. Youyu's feelings are too simple, pure, and easy to understand, so I knew it easily."

"You..." You Yu seemed to have received a blow to the head, he couldn't understand a single word Chan said, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I said, Mr. Youyu, I lied to you. In fact, father has not forgotten you." Cicada said word by word, but Youyu fell to the ground in a daze after realizing it. "I don't think Mr. You Yu will forget what happened on that rainy day. That day my father completely 'dumped you'."

"But if I tell you now that the mother was pregnant not because she was in love with her father, but because she got her father drunk and tampered with his wine glass in order to get him, how would you feel? Woolen cloth?"

"Will you be furious, will you be resentful, will you shout that God is unfair, will you angrily call my mother a bitch?"

Youyu sits on the ground in a daze, although he can hear the cicada's words, but he can't think at all now, every sentence that the cicada said is a huge impact, his thinking ability has gradually regressed with age, he can't think at all now Unable to process the information that Cicada had thrust upon him.

Why Fengzhi never forgot about me, why that woman used means to get herself pregnant in order to get Feng, what the hell are these?

ha?I can't understand a damn word.

"Actually, the reason why Mr. Youyu dislikes me wearing women's clothes is because the way I wear women's clothes reminds you of my mother, right? You think of that rainy day and the fact that your father abandoned you, so You must have been so helpless and angry that day." Cicada looked at Mr. Yu Yu absent-mindedly, and continued with a blank expression: "And Mr. You Yu would agree to my request for dating only because I am the son of Fengzhi. The blood that runs through my body and this face that somewhat resembles that person."

"Cicada..." You Yu looked at Cicada, and it took him a long time to hold back a sentence: "I'm not..."

"Will Mr. You Yu continue to deceive himself and others?" Chan paused, and continued, "Then I will let you wake up."

"Mr. You Yu, you have never loved me at all. You have only loved my father from the beginning to the end. And I am that poor substitute ghost, but why do I still pretend to be happy when I know all this? Mr. Yu, do you understand?"

"I..." You Yu didn't know what to say, and he didn't know what kind of mood he was in right now. At this time, he didn't know whether it was by accident or instinct. He looked up at the cicada outside and found the calm face on the cicada's face. There were two lines of tears, and then he came back to his senses. He stood up again and ran to the glass door and put his hand into the gap exposed by the glass door. He looked at the cicada that kept crying and said, "I beg you I beg you, cicada, don’t do that thing, but don’t do that thing, I’m willing to change anything and do it for you, please don’t do this…”

"Mr. Youyu, why are you so easy to understand." Cicada sneered, looked at the hand extended by Mr. Youyu, shook her head and said, "Your face is full of reluctance now, but you really Is it me who is reluctant?"

"The heart that I deeply love Mr. Youyu has already been broken in your dream of calling Fengzhi again and again and in the wind that whispered in your mouth when we finally became confused again and again, but I At that time, I still chose to believe in Mr. Youyu, and I believed that Mr. Youyu's eyes would eventually see me instead of my father."

"I'm nostalgic for your mood, you should be able to empathize with it."

"Stop talking cicada... I beg you please stop... I was wrong, I shouldn't be like this, I'm damned, I beg you to come back please, don't make trouble anymore!" You Yu almost collapsed, he didn't know when He has been crying to tears, but Cicada is still crying silently, pouring out everything buried deep in his heart: "Mr. You Yu is crying so sadly because he doesn't want to see 'Feng Zhi' die in front of your eyes. "

Youyu couldn't stand the cicada's words any longer, and finally lost her strength and slowly fell down leaning against the glass door.

His selfish and timid heart was trampled to pieces by Cicada's words.

"After my father died unexpectedly, I suffered from the neglect and disgust from the so-called relatives and was sent to a special orphanage. I once told Mr. You Yu why I have a woman's fetishism, right? But Mr. You Yu did not I don’t know how much effort I put in in that orphanage to be able to meet Mr. Youyu.”

"Mr. You Yu, do you know that our meeting was not accidental? Our meeting was caused by me giving up a change."

"What... what?" You Yu was really at a loss this time. The reason why he claimed Cicada was because Fang Qian told him that Feng Zhi died and left a son in the orphanage. Why did Cicada say Did he give up a trade?

Cicada took out the cell phone in his pocket and looked at the time, thinking that the police might be coming soon, so he chose to conceal some facts, and said, "Well...it's nothing, it doesn't matter if Mr. Youyu doesn't know."

"Cicada, I beg you not to make trouble. As long as you leave there and come back to the house, I will leave you immediately. It doesn't matter if you leave Paradise City. From now on, I will completely disappear in your world..." You Yu really had no choice but to feel how weak and helpless he was.

Cicada's gaze moved away from Mr. Youyu, and he turned his head to look at the night sky behind which was still raining. His eyes were extremely lonely. Even though he was reluctant to part with it, he had to continue with that choice, because until now Youyu Mr. still can't see himself in his eyes, and all of them are still the figure of Feng Zhi.

I don't know when the tears stopped, leaving only two dry lines of tears, as if the love that was once hot is now only a dry shell.

Cicada bent down slightly and threw the mobile phone in his hand on the ground, then said to the crying Mr. Youyu: "There is a sentence I want Mr. Youyu to remember, I hope you... remember to listen to it. "

"I don't fucking listen! I want you back! I want you back..."

Mr. Youyu will be 40 years old next year, half of his life will be over, but I just want to stab him in the heart at this time. Is my psychology too abnormal or my way of love is too extreme?But...it doesn't matter anyway.

I want to love you, the love you feel all comes from me, but I also want to hurt you, so that your body is covered with scars about me, so I will give you irreparable pain while loving you, love is really A very contradictory thing.

Cicada tilted her head back, and then heard Mr. Youyu yelling again. The rain falling on her face was very cool. Cicada closed her eyes and let the rain drop on her face. He said: "You Mr. Yu, in fact, my father once told me one thing."

"He said that if you see Uncle Youyu one day, remember to tell him—" Chan lowered his head to look at the inadvertent anticipation in Mr. Youyu's eyes, smiled slightly, and then said: "Sorry, I don't want to tell you those words. Mr. Yu Yu."

"Will Mr. Youyu blame me?"

You Yu bit his lip and shook his head weakly, now he can only hope that the police will rush in to rescue Cicada in the next second.

He no longer knew what thinking was.

"Ah, I'm so nervous. I don't know if the wings behind me will really grow and let me fly in the air. Haha, this idea is so childish, it's a bit like Mr. Youyu's idea."

please... stop talking, please...

"Mr. Yu Yu, Mr. Yu Yu."

I was wrong, I was wrong, I hurt you, I was so selfish, I was a jerk and I was damned.

"Mr. Youyu..."

"It's raining heavily outside."

I will never fall in love with anyone again, even if it takes my life now, but please, Cicada...please...

"You Yu."

"I love you."

What...youyu was pulled back to his senses by this sentence, but when he looked up again, the only thing left on the balcony was the blind storm outside.

You Yu, you didn't look at me until the end, but I believe that at the moment I jumped off you must be thinking about me, and that's enough.

Finally, I have a momentary place in your heart.

Ah, I don't know if you noticed that I called your name at the end, my lovely Yuu.

The torrential rain lasted all night, and the police and ambulance personnel were busy back and forth between You Yu's house and downstairs. Yu, without expression or words, but when he saw that the police were about to take away the mobile phone that Cicada left on the ground, he rushed forward and snatched the mobile phone from the policeman to protect it in his arms, staring fiercely at the innocent The policeman, the policeman on the side signaled to leave this person alone, and then the policeman left to do other things.

You Yu regained his expressionless face again. He skillfully unlocked Cicada’s phone with his fingerprint. Although he could use his fingerprint to unlock it, he had never turned over Cicada’s phone. All of them were photos taken by Cicada secretly, and the address book only had Youyu's number, and Cicada's note to Youyu was Youyu with a heart on both sides of the name. He searched for the sentence left by Cicada, Finally found it in the recording.

You Yu looked at the recording for just a few seconds, his hands trembling unceasingly. After an unknown amount of time, he finally took the phone to his ear and pressed the play button. The familiar voice of a cicada came from the phone:

"You Yu, do you still remember the last words you said to your father on that rainy day?"

"'I wish you, I wish you and your parasite, I wish you and your future family of three, a very good death.'"

At this time, there was a sudden thunderclap, and You Yu hugged Cicada's cell phone, crying like rain.

The next day, the sun in Paradise City was still rising from the east, and as winter was approaching, the people of Paradise began to prepare for the cold. The withered and yellow leaves on the trees by the roadside were all shed, and all kinds of insects hid themselves to prepare for hibernation.

In fact, there were no cicadas in Paradise City a long time ago, and the cicada that had been singing in You Yu's heart completely lost its sound on October 10th.

Youyu tried to open his eyes to see the morning outside the window, but he was too tired to open his eyes because of crying. He leaned on the glass door frame, and hummed a few words "Know, know..." with trembling lips. At that time, a policeman walked up to Yu with a transparent plastic bag. He put the plastic bag in Youyu's hand and said, "This is the deceased's worm card. According to the rules, it should be kept by the guardian."

Youyu didn't speak or turn his head, he just gently pinched the worm card in the plastic bag with his hands, and then smiled lightly.

==END==

The author has something to say:

Extra 03

"According to reports, a middle-aged man drowned in the bathtub the day before yesterday. After investigation, it was found that the man had no relatives and no job. The man who found the body was the man's landlord. According to the landlord, the man had curly hair. He has long hair and often stays out of the house for a month. He does not communicate with anyone or socialize with anyone. He is a person who behaves strangely. When he was discovered, he was holding a worm card in his hand. According to the police investigation The man should have committed suicide."

May you go to heaven and I will go to hell.

Cicada, would you like to see me again?

I have so many sorrys I want to tell you.

So far this article is over, there is no other extras~ I’m sorry for giving this ending, but sometimes pain and tragedy can leave a deep impression on people. A happy ending is of course a happy ending, but we also have to learn something from the misfortune (speaking human words! ).The next article will describe one or two relaxed and lovely romances, and let me tell you that the third part of the "Sickness" series also takes place in the background of Paradise City~ Let's see "Sickness" again every few works, like this article If so, please support me a lot, let me have more motivation to code words instead of playing games every day (crossed out), thank you for discovering this article and reading it, if it can make you happy, I am honored.