I, Qinghuan

boom -

The train let out another heavy mournful sound, accompanied by the flickering lightning outside the window, making it difficult to tell whether it was the thunder or the movement of the wheels rubbing against the sleepers.

The air seemed to be frozen, and the dust floating here would be frozen into ice.

Sun Xuxue backed out winkingly, and stood at the entrance of the carriage to keep watch. Although no one walked back and forth in the middle of the night, if anyone wanted to go to the bathroom, she could persuade them to go to the other side, so that the ancestors would not be forced to go to the other side. They are disturbed.

Nan Yang stared at Qing Huan closely, and didn't speak for a long time. Too many things were blocked in his heart, and the entangled explanations were stuck in his throat, and he couldn't find a word to break the silence.

Qing Huan seemed to feel a little ridiculous, the corners of her lips curled up again, her voice choked with sobs: "Tell me, what else do you want to leave for me?"

Nan Yang didn't look away, didn't dare to look at her, and just murmured softly: "...I'm sorry."

"This is what you have been unwilling to tell me?" Qing Huan shrugged her shoulders with a smile, "This is what you think, you are hiding it from me for my own good?"

Nan Yang gritted his teeth, the severe pain in his chest never stopped, and at this moment it became even more monstrous.

"Don't tell me when you are sick, and you have to bear it alone when you feel uncomfortable, even if it threatens your life..." Tears flowed from the corners of Qing Huan's eyes, and her voice trembled, "No, it's not life-threatening, it's that I have already put you Is your life exhausted? Otherwise, what will you make?"

Qing Huan took a step forward, rubbed the iron sheet with her fingertips, and a bloodstain crawled under her finger, "You just want to endure it until one day, I suddenly can't find you, and then I see you again Is it your terribly dead body, and a piece of cold property distribution audio that you left me?"

"..." Nan Yang resisted a surge of blood from his throat, covered his heart, and frowned tightly.

"Do you think I will be very moved? Moved to tears?" The laughter contained a little bitterness, "Or do you think that I will take the house and money you left behind and find someone to happily start a new one?" Life?"

"No wonder, no wonder you have been so abnormal these two days. You are no longer reserved or conservative. You hug me in public, and you have sex with me in public places such as train sleepers. Do you think you are giving me the last gift? Do you think I will You laugh out loud when you think back to those days, don’t you?”

Nan Yang clutched her chest and bent down. The pain and congestion that had accumulated for a long time went all over her body, making her unable to speak again.

"Talk," Qing Huan cried out with a smile, "You just leave these to me, don't you?"

Nan Yang squinted her eyes and looked at her, double images had begun to appear in her eyes. She tried her best to say something, but Qing Huan asked her to say something, even if she didn't know what to say, she had to say something.But she didn't dare to open her mouth, she wasn't sure if the blood she spit out would splash on Qing Huan's clothes.

"Nan Yang... why don't you understand?" Qing Huan's tears soaked his whole face, the tears condensed on his chin, and dripped on the black skirt, "Why don't you understand my feelings for you? Believe it or not ? If possible, I wish...I wish I could die for you..."

——If there is a day when danger comes, I am willing to die for you.

Nan Yang finally couldn't bear it anymore, turned his head, and coughed up a big mouthful of blood. The bright red blood splashed onto the white shirt, spreading out a dazzling red crack.

The eyes were blurred, as if the scene that had appeared countless times in the dream appeared again.

The same face, with the same tears, sent his heart to the tip of Luoshuang's sword in order to protect her life.

The memories of the past overlapped with the reality like a dream, and the severe pain caused her consciousness to start to be in a trance. She knelt down on one knee while clutching her chest, her eyes were distorted, as if she couldn't hold on any longer.

Leaning her body, what greeted her was not the cold ground, but a warm and soft embrace.

Qing Huan stepped forward, knelt down beside her in embarrassment, hugged her tightly into her arms, clasped her bloody fingers firmly on her back, almost rubbing her into her own flesh and blood.

She hugged her and cried, "Why are you so annoying...why I can't even get angry well, why I was cheated like this, and I still can't really get angry..."

Nan Yang tried her best to grab the corner of Qing Huan's clothes. Even at this moment, she still tried her best to keep her body upright, lest she put all the weight on Qing Huan.

But no matter how hard she tried to support it, she couldn't hold it anymore.Her head rested weakly on Qing Huan's shoulders, her chin was raised slightly, and the blood overflowing from her mouth and nose flowed down her chin to her chin and the base of her ears, and then meandered into the neckline of her shirt from the base of her ears.Soon, half of the shoulders and body were dyed red, lined with plain white cloth, as if a bowl of strange and thick paint was splashed on the boundless snow.

Qing Huan had never seen anyone who could bleed so much, her eyes were frightened and panicked, she cried even more fiercely, buried her face blurred by tears into her shoulder, and sobbed intermittently: "We Stop recording, get off the car now, I'll take you to the hospital, don't let anything happen to you...I beg you, I can't live without you...Nan Yang, don't leave me alone, I beg you, don't leave me alone People are alive, I... can't live on, really can't live on... please..."

Can't survive?

Yes, the one you love the most is dead, and you really can't live.

After Qing Huan's death, how did she survive the 3000 years...?

If she knew from the beginning that she would be exhausted when she was No.90, she would definitely not have walked into her life.She clearly knows what it feels like to watch someone she loves die in front of her eyes, but she still wants Qing Huan to take such a risk.She thought that they had only been married for a few short months, and even if they broke up, they would not be in such pain as they were 3000 years ago.But it turns out that the depth of love has never had anything to do with time.

If it is really confirmed that it is each other, a glance can last ten thousand years.

In fact, she also thought about whether she should take the initiative to guide Qing Huan to recall the past, as long as Qing Huan can remember, these problems will no longer exist.But she was also afraid that before Qing Huan's two personalities merged, if she rashly brought up her past life, Qing Huan would doubt the meaning of her existence in this life, and suspect that what Nan Yang liked was the completely unfamiliar Qing Huan 3000 years ago. Huan, or Qing Huan who grew up in modern society in this life.So Nanyang can only wait until Qinghuan can remember her past life by herself, let her witness the stories she walked with her, and wait for her to be sure that her 99 lives exist, that she is her in the first life, and the rabbit is her. She, the spider is her, and she is her now.Only when she finishes her 99 lives by herself, can she spend the rest of her life with her without any grudges.

Waiting without knowing the end is the most desperate waiting.

A journey with no end in sight is like a train that never knows when it will arrive. At the end of the day, it was forced to stop in the barren valley, turning into a steel skeleton that would never whistle again.

Will this forced stop be the last time?

Nan Yang grasped Qing Huan's wrist tightly, his eyes were red, and he murmured something in his heart that his brain had never screened:

"I don't want to die, I really...don't want to die...help, save me..."

A few days ago she was still lying on the hospital bed, open-mindedly said to Mei Zhongli and others: the passing of life is nothing but the cycle of heaven, all things are the same, people will die, even if they don't die in the past few years, it will be the same in decades to die.But when she was really facing the threat of death, especially when she was held in Qing Huan's arms, she realized that she really didn't think so much.

Not reconciled.

How can you be content?

After 3000 years of watching, this is the ending. How can she rest in peace? !

How can she rest assured to leave Qinghuan alone in this world?If she died, would Mei Zhongli still take care of Zhu's family and Qinghuan as before?The entertainment industry is so dark, how can Qing Huan struggle to find a way out?Bai Jinqiu made things difficult for her today, she is so kind, if there is no him, who can stand in front of her and protect her?

I haven't finished the recipe yet.

This is such a beautiful river and mountain, they haven't had time to join hands to take a look at it.

There will also be weddings that are not held.

And buy her a unique diamond ring.

She will also have a child with her that belongs to both of them.

Really don't want to die.

Nan Yang closed her eyes in the warm embrace, kept half of her begging words in her mouth, and lost consciousness.

The moment she fell into the darkness, she felt that the man's hand was tightly pinching her shoulder, so hard, as if it was going to crush her.

As if crushed, you can hold it.

In the past 3000 years, she never dreamed.Maybe it's because this body is in the state of death. She died 3000 years ago. Dead people don't dream, so she doesn't dream.

But this time, she had a dream.

She dreamed that she was wearing an ancient white dress, just like she used to look like in Beifei Mountain. The pure white long sleeves fluttered in the breeze, and the cuffs and the corners of the robe were embroidered with elegant patterns of white cranes.She was walking on a long and straight path, so long that it couldn't see the end at a glance. Plum trees were planted on both sides of the path. When the wind blew, the petals floated all over the sky.

She looked down at herself and found that her heart was bleeding, and the blood stained her white clothes mottled.Her right hand was also bleeding, and the wound was still open. The hot blood flowed down her wrist to her fingertips, and then dripped to the ground. Behind her was a road with red lines pressing on the dirt, and the scarlet blood reflected With petals all over the sky, it is strangely harmonious.

She was walking on the road, not knowing why she was walking here, nor where she was going.

All she knew was that she was going to keep going, and keep going.

There must be something waiting for her at the end.The thing she's longed for the most.

Enduring the pain, enduring the loneliness, she was alone, and the only thing that accompanied her was a jade gourd around her waist that was touched and greasy, and the ashes of her little apprentice were contained in the gourd.

At the end, the plum trees on both sides gradually withered and turned into a piece of dead branches with teeth and claws.Later, the dead trees turned into tombstones, engraved with the names of every passer-by in her 3000-year life, and one of them was engraved 98 times.

The road under my feet was originally a dirt road, and slowly, the dirt road turned into a stone road, the stone road turned into a green brick road, and the green brick road turned into an asphalt road.Wearing ancient costumes, she is getting more and more out of place. When she walks here, it's like a tropical fish swimming into the Arctic Ocean, or a brush falling on a canvas.She is an anomaly independent of the world in front of her eyes.

The loneliness of standing alone against the world is the most painful loneliness.She could clearly see all kinds of people standing just a few feet away, but she clearly understood that no one in this world could understand her life anymore.

No one comes, no one returns.

After walking for an unknown amount of time, she finally came to the end of the road.

At the end is a meandering and gentle river bank. Looking ahead, the dark river water has gentle and fine ripples.The end of the road stretches naturally into the river, heralding her ending and guiding her to complete her final journey.

She smiled with relief.

It turns out that death is the disappearance of water in water.

fair enough.

It's also a relief.

She closed her eyes and was about to take the last step when she suddenly heard someone calling her from behind:

"Nan Yang."

She paused, then turned her head slowly, and saw a woman with sparkling eyes standing behind her.The woman stepped forward, stretched out her hand and held her bleeding right wrist, with tears in her eyes:

"Wait for me again."

"I know you've worked hard, I'm sorry I kept you waiting for too long."

"Soon, really soon, just wait for me."

"Please, wait for me."