I, Qinghuan

The train journey of "Honeymoon Together" had only been going on for a day, and Nan Yang and Qing Huan got off the train halfway.Nan Yang's body was in trouble, and the program team was in a mess. They took her off the train at the nearest Xingyuan Station. The ambulance was waiting at the gate of the train station, and took her all the way to Xingyuan City Hospital without hindrance.Tomorrow night, when Cheng and Qi Yi heard about it, they would be anxious like ants on a hot pot, and they wanted to watch it too, but the show was still going on, and they couldn't lose four guests at once, so they had to stay on the train and continue to participate recording.

Nan Yang entered the emergency room, and it was still the same as before. Modern medicine could not find the cause at all, so he could only use all means to give her a blood transfusion to ensure that her vital signs would not disappear.But even so, the blood plasma in the hospital was not enough, and all the blood bags in the surrounding hospitals were urgently allocated overnight to barely make up for it.

Not long after, the doctor came out and issued a critical illness notice.When Qing Huan took it, her hand trembled so much that she almost missed it.

For as long as the lights in the emergency room were on, Qing Huan and Sun Xuxue stood outside for a long time.Neither of the two of them sat down, nor could they think of sitting up.I don't know how long it has passed, Qinghuan raised her eyes as if waking up from a dream, and looked at Sun Xuxue:

"Now, you still don't want to tell me the truth?"

Sun Xuxue looked terrified. She was young, and she always only knew how to obey her grandfather's orders. She had never been forced to question her like this.

"You must know what kind of disease she has, right?" Qing Huan took a step closer to Sun Xuxue, her eyes burning, "You must know how to cure it, right?"

"No, I... I don't know..." Sun Xuxue shook her head hastily, and couldn't help taking two steps back, "I really don't know..."

"If you really don't know anything, why would she read the will to you with confidence?" Qing Huan continued to approach aggressively, "So it's not that you don't know at all, but that you can't tell, right?"

Sun Xuxue shook her head vigorously: "No, I didn't..."

"Xuxue," Qing Huan had already pushed her into the corner next to the radiator, "Her crux... has something to do with me, doesn't it?"

Sun Xuxue opened her eyes wide in surprise, and asked uncertainly, "You, do you remember anything?"

A trace of confusion flashed across Qing Huan's eyes, "Remember? You mean... have I forgotten anything?"

"Don't force me..." Sun Xuxue was about to cry, and squatted down with her head in her arms, "I can't tell you, the ancestor said, we can't interfere in this matter, we can't tell you anything, You can only think on your own, I can't say anything... Please, don't ask me, grandpa will beat me if you talk about it..."

"Let me... think for yourself?"

What does she want?

What did she forget?

There was a sudden tremor in my mind, and several blurred images in my dream quickly flashed across.Nan Yang in white robes, a snow-blue long sword, criss-crossing scars on her thin body, nosebleeds, right hand, heart... everything is ready to come out on her chest, but it's only so shallow that it's just about to come out. Can't break through, can't see through.

As a modern person who has been educated in materialism since she was a child, she has never believed in such illusory things as gods and ghosts, let alone past and present lives.But she was sure that she had never seen Nan Yang in the past 24 years. If there were any other memories between her and her, it must have been before these 24 years.

Was it something to do with the dream she'd been having?

Is Nan Yang's exhausted body now related to her?

The door of the emergency room was suddenly opened, and a nurse came out with a mobile phone and a Kindle in her hand. After looking around, she found Qing Huan, walked over and handed it to her: "This is a valuable item on the patient's body. I will keep it for you, and a new round of rescue is going on now, and the electric defibrillation is on.” The nurse’s words seemed a bit cruel, but she forced herself to continue, “You should know the meaning of electric defibrillation, patient. The heartbeat of the patient has stopped, and if defibrillation cannot be rescued, then these things... are the last things left by the patient, and you should take them away."

Qing Huan's hands trembled too much, and when she heard the nurse say "heartbeat stopped", her whole body froze, and the Kindle she just took fell to the ground. With a sound of "啪——", the Kindle's protective case was thrown apart from the host.

A stack of beige things fell out. It was obviously sandwiched between the protective case and the Kindle all year round. It was pressed neatly, like paper, but the surface was carefully sealed, and it seemed to be a well-preserved antique.

Qing Huan frowned, hesitated for a moment, then bent down, and picked up the stack of beige paper.After touching the smooth layer of protection made of paper, a strange emotion flooded his brain.Shaking her hands, she carefully opened the stack of papers bit by bit.

The paper is huge, with ugly and distorted traditional brush characters written on it. I don't know how much pain the person who wrote it endured, but even though the characters are ugly, they have written this entire page.

Qing Huan was trembling all over, and her emotions began to be uncontrollable, but she still forced herself to look at the paper——

.

"I don't know when I will die, I just know that my time is really running out. Most of the time my sanity is chaotic, and I don't know what I have done all day long. I know very well, This time, it may really be a farewell to you, and my life should also come to an end."

"Some words, I don't want to wait until I am about to die to say goodbye to you. The words of farewell must be sufficiently advanced to be complete enough. I am afraid that I will not have time to say these words by then, so I will take my last breath."

"Knowing that death is approaching me day by day, I am very sad. I am not afraid of death. People are mortal. The passing of life is just the reincarnation of heaven, and everything is the same. What I am sad is that I will never see the one I love again people."

"I can't bear to part with you, I'm not willing to part with you, how can I part with you."

"Sometimes I think, I'd rather you die before me, let you die in my arms with your last breath, your life is also very complete. Then leave all the pain and despair of losing your wife to me, you Sleeping with peace of mind is better than anything else. I have always been so eager to give you protection, just like you protected that young, embarrassed, unbearable, and humble me back then. "

"As people in the world say, the old kindness is like rose water, dripping on Luoyi until it reaches the fragrance of death. As early as when you rescued me, I planned to repay you for my lifelong kindness."

"Master, do you think that in this life, which one does not experience pain and torment? Just like the sky will always rain, and the mud will always dirty the body. But I have this life, and I am willing to give up my life to stop everything that belongs to me. your suffering."

"Alas, I have no time."

"I once told you on the Kunlun Mountains and in my mother's tomb, if one day I die, I will burn my bones with a fire, and you will take the ashes with you. I am actually very selfish, and I don't want to part with you at all. Forget about me, I want you to remember me for the rest of your life, and even if I turn into ashes, you will still be by your side. Even if I am dead, completely dead, I will never live up to the vow of life and death."

"I'm really sorry for you, and for many people. But fate has long set this farce, since I was born, since I met you. Northern penalties, random flowers, burning the sky, along the way, I even once There is no chance to say no, my life is simply a joke, provoking people's resentment for nothing. It's all fate, it's all a tragedy brewed by the heavens, and I have no choice but to bear it."

"And the only thing I have done that is the most disobedient to God's will and the most worthwhile thing in this life is to fall in love with you, and this love is not over until the end of my life. Although I can't be with you forever, but I have been with you all my life, and in the past ten years, I have not missed a day without thinking of you, thinking of you, those things I said to hurt you, I was lying, you must forgive me. "

"After I die, I also hope that you will set up a tomb for me. The prefix of my beloved wife must be engraved on the tombstone. I have been lying to you. In fact, we have already worshiped. It's not fair."

"You just need to understand that you are my legitimate wife, and so am I."

"I owe a lot to others in my life. To myself, I have not been able to live a long and safe life; to my father, I have not been able to fulfill my filial piety; to my wife, I have not been able to stay with you until the end of life. The saddest thing is that people die without dying. Sorry."

"I was bound by many factors during my lifetime, so it's a pity that I couldn't travel to this great river and mountain. If you can, you should take my ashes and travel thousands of miles of mountains and rivers, and see the different scenery in different regions for me. You If you believe in reincarnation, I will be somewhere in this world, waiting for you to find me."

"If you can't find it, you don't have to wait for me. After all, how long can a person wait during those long hours?"

"Can we wait until the heavy snow in Beijing never falls from spring to autumn?"

"Can we wait until the islands in the East China Sea are submerged by the sea level?"

"Can we wait for the world to go from peace to division, and then to restore stability from turmoil?"

"Can you wait until...you can't think of me anymore?"

"My deepest regret is that there is nothing in this world that I can promise you"

"If there is an afterlife, I will allow you to live forever."

.

If there is an afterlife...

afterlife?

What is the afterlife?

Whose afterlife?

There is no northern penalty in the world, the sea level of the East China Sea sinks and rises again, and the world has been divided and reunited countless times.Who waited so long for whom during those long hours?

Qing Huan shook her head vigorously, trying to shake her chaotic brain soberly, but she didn't want to, a string of blood beads were thrown out on the ground.Before she could react, Sun Xuxue noticed it first. After a brief absence, Sun Xuxue took out a stack of papers in a panic and shivered and stuffed them to her, her voice full of fear:

"You, you have a nosebleed!"

Qing Huan wiped her nose with the back of her hand, stared blankly at the scarlet patch on her hand, and felt an unusually familiar feeling in her heart.It seemed that from the beginning to the end, she was the one who should have a nosebleed. In the past years, it was just that person inside was punished for her.

Seeing Nan Yang's nosebleeds, Sun Xuxue hurriedly called the doctor.

She yelled too exaggeratedly, and there was a sound of panicked footsteps in the hospital corridor, and the nurses behind even took the stretcher.The doctor at the front rushed over and hurriedly asked what was going on, Sun Xuxue tremblingly pointed at Qing Huan who had a nosebleed.The doctor did a simple examination for Qing Huan on the spot, and a group of nurses behind him were nervously ready to go. After a while, the doctor pushed his glasses and gave Sun Xuxue a look: "It's just a little nosebleed, you reacted so badly." What are you doing?"

Sun Xuxue was stunned for a long time, and pointed to the emergency room: "The one I rescued also had a nosebleed."

"The situation is different." The doctor waved his hand, signaling the nurses behind him to go home, "Miss Zhu is just too nervous and a little angry, just take some toilet paper to block it."

Sun Xuxue asked again: "Are you all right?"

"It's okay." The doctor took out a pack of napkins from the pocket of his white coat and stuffed it for Sun Xuxue, "It won't bleed in a few minutes."

Qing Huan covered her nose, hurriedly folded the letter paper in her hand, put it back between the Kindle and the protective case, and nodded politely at the doctor: "It's troublesome." She buried her head, stuffed everything in her hand to Sun Xuxue, and said Say "I'm going to the toilet", and left in a hurry.

In the toilet, she leaned over the sink, turned on the faucet, and brought the water up to her chin to wash. Her nose was still bleeding, but not much. It returned to normal after 2 minutes of washing.

She raised her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror, whose face was covered with water droplets. After looking at it for a long time, she felt strange.The eyes are still the same eyes, the nose is the same nose, but I just feel that something is wrong, and there is still something missing.

She closed her eyes and tried her best to recall the letter just now, as well as the previous dreams, recalling her words and deeds in the dream.After immersing herself for a long time, she couldn't tell who she was. She just felt that there were many voices buzzing in her head, some unfamiliar and some familiar. The most familiar voice was Nan Yang's voice.But in a blur, Nan Yang's attitude when talking to her seems to be different from now, it is completely the tone of the elders to the younger, and she always likes to hang around Nan Yang, only two words back and forth in her mouth.

She should be calling Nan Yang, but she is sure that she is not calling Nan Yang's name.

Because she knew subconsciously that it was inappropriate to call Nan Yang by his name.

What is her name?

What should she call her?

Is it the two words shouted back and forth in that ancient letter?

Qing Huan was in a trance when she suddenly heard the sound of running footsteps outside the toilet. After a while, Sun Xuxue popped her head in and said with red eyes, "Zhu Zhu, she came out of the emergency room!"

Qing Huan was in a trance for a moment.

Congratulations who?

Ah... yes, it was herself.

"Is she out of danger?" Qing Huan asked hurriedly.

"Well! It's okay." Sun Xuxue wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, "Didn't the nurse sister say that her heart stopped beating, but after you had a nosebleed just now, she suddenly stopped bleeding, and new blood can finally exist in her body Here, after the bleeding stopped, the heartbeat slowly recovered, and now she has been transferred to the intensive care unit, but she has not woken up yet. Do you want to go and see her?"

Qing Huan went straight out of the toilet, Sun Xuxue hurriedly followed and took her to Nan Yang's ward.

The ward is an independent room, with a separate bed and matching sofa, and the decoration is more refined than ordinary wards.On the lonely hospital bed, Nan Yang sank into the snow-white quilt. The forearm pressed against the quilt seemed to be a little paler than the quilt. Through the thin soft skin, one could vaguely see the densely covered tiny blood vessels underneath.The backs of her hands had been cut before, and there was no way to get needles there, so the doctor stuck a needle on the inside of her wrist, and a bag of bright red blood plasma was hanging on the infusion stand.

On Nan Yang's index finger was a sensor clip for blood oxygen saturation, and the instrument next to it displayed normal indicators, and everything indicated that she was in a stable state for the time being.

Both Qinghuan and Sun Xuxue breathed a sigh of relief.Sun Xuxue looked at her phone, it was already eight o'clock in the morning, thinking that everyone hadn't eaten, and Nan Yang would probably be hungry after waking up, so she ran out to buy breakfast first.

When leaving, he closed the door intimately.

Qing Huan stood at the door, staring at Nan Yang in a daze for a long time.Her mind is in a mess now, and she can't think of anything.She thought, there are some things that Nan Yang must tell her personally.No matter how bizarre the explanation Nan Yang gave her, she would believe it now.She was only one step away from finding her real self, the truth that Nan Yang revealed, no matter how mysterious the truth was.

But if Nan Yang really woke up, she had to be more patient and gentle. If Nan Yang still refused to speak, she had to control herself and not to force Nan Yang unconsciously.

She still remembered the appearance of Nan Yang fainted in her arms. She never thought that one day she would see Nan Yang like that. He was as fragile as a half-burned match in a strong wind. Such a powerful person shrank. In his arms begging himself to save her.She had no doubt that it would be the last hug between them, and that for the first time in her life, she felt death so close.There is a saying: death is like a lamp going out.At that time, she held her like she was holding a lamp without a protective cover at all. Even if she held the flame against her fingers, she couldn't stop the wind flowing in between her fingers.

Fortunately, she is still alive and well, and they still have many possibilities.Some things have to be resolved, but slowly, slowly.As long as Nan Yang can stay by her side in good health, she is willing to spend the rest of her life waiting for that answer.

Qing Huan leaned on the side of the bed, held Nan Yang's hand, buried her face in Nan Yang's palm, feeling the temperature there, tears flowed down unconsciously.

After an unknown amount of time, the palms suddenly trembled, and the person on the bed was breathing slightly, as if he had woken up.

After a while, a familiar hoarse voice came from the bedside: "...Qing Huan?"

Qing Huan raised her head with tears in her eyes, and looked at Nan Yang's half-closed eyes without saying a word, unable to utter a thousand words.

Nan Yang was also a little unconscious, his eyes were still hazy, he tentatively bent his fingers, and asked hesitantly, "Am I... still alive?"

Qing Huan held the hand she was trying to bend, opened her mouth, and stopped talking.She wanted to call her, but she found that she couldn't call her name at all. Her brain told her that she couldn't call her name, she shouldn't call her name.But what would she call her?

Momentary blankness flashed across her eyes, and according to the instinct of her body, she pulled up the dusty old soil. The blood in her whole body was like intertwined tree roots in the ground, and her whole body swelled with the movement of her lips.

Finally, she moved her lips and teeth with difficulty, following the habit engraved in her memory through the ages, whispered the two words that had been buried in her heart for a long time:

"...Master...Father?"

Nan Yang opened his eyes suddenly, his light brown pupils were bloodshot, he looked at Qing Huan in disbelief, his voice trembling violently:

"You, what do you call me?"