You said as long as we are careful enough

flutter. Chris tries to keep talking between kisses, apologizing softly between breaths. "I'm terrified of hurting you," he said, and Sebastian's throat tightened and he couldn't speak, desperately trying not to cry.He has cried enough today.

Just thinking Chris couldn't stop, the vague words turning into kisses, making him hard beyond comprehension. "I didn't—I didn't want to take this too far. I didn't want you to think you couldn't be outside of a relationship—" Again, Sebastian tried to shut him up by hugging his head and kissing, Chris stepped back to finish the sentence anyway, "Have it all, if you don't want it."

"Okay," Sebastian said breathlessly, finally realizing that he had to say something to calm Chris down. "I can, if I want to. It's nice to know it's okay, but I-I'm not, so. So it's okay."

"God, I'm glad you're not," Chris says against his lips, and Sebastian smiles at him, and Chris tilts his head to kiss his neck. "I was so nervous," he murmured, running a kiss down his chest, "I couldn't keep my distance anymore."

Sebastian shakes his head. "I don't want to — I never want that."

Chris looked up.It was as if he was still in shock. "I'm sorry," he said softly, leaning back to kiss his lips. "I'm sorry, I—I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay," Sebastian said, shaking his head.That doesn't matter anymore. "It really doesn't matter. You're—everything's okay."

"I just—I want that so much," Chris admits, and Sebastian groans in surprise. "I was going to tell you. I was about to, and then I suddenly panicked and - oh my god, I'm so stupid, you don't want me to go. I know you don't want to-"

Sebastian laughs, hysterically, when he realizes what he means.I want you... He coughs lightly to steady himself, but Chris doesn't seem to notice.

"I should have just said it when I wanted to. I'm so nervous...I don't know how you're going to react." Sebastian could feel Chris' breathing stop on his own lips, and then he felt I felt my heart beat faster. "On the one hand, I'm worried that you're too addicted to...not realize..."

The mood changes, and then Chris nibbles on Sebastian's neck absently. Sebastian groaned approvingly, and Chris tugged lightly on his collar, pulling him closer.

"You looked so beautiful back then, blindfolded and handcuffed, you were so perfect. You belonged to me." A spark rose from Sebastian's belly. Chris already had an erection from that memory, one hand on Sebastian's chest, the other around his throat held up by the collar.His teeth scraped everywhere they touched Sebastian's throat.

"You made me so pretty - so docile."

Although Chris didn't tell him to wait to be allowed to speak, he kept quiet, not wanting to interrupt Chris's unconscious monologue. "God, Sebastian," he said, the words slurring unnaturally. "You're so beautiful and always so submissive. You've always been so perfect that I almost... God, I was - so worried about losing you."

Sebastian shook his head. "Your," he replied automatically, and Chris closed his jaw with his teeth. "forever……"

"Look at me," Chris whispered, and Sebastian's face flushed, and Chris straightened his face and held it in place. "Are you… going too far?" Sebastian licked his lips and shook his head. Chris smiles. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to stress you out. We didn't have to do… anything. I just—missed…" His voice trailed off, starting to sound drunk, lips trailing down Sebastian's throat. kiss.

"I was so afraid that you wouldn't want...I'll come back." He said unconsciously against his hot skin. Sebastian nods wordlessly, and Chris starts kissing down his chest. "I just want you so much..."

Sebastian's breath caught as Chris curled up against his body, pressing him into the mattress. Sebastian's skin began to tingle as the sting from the pressure on the bandaged wound was fading away.A whimper escapes his mouth, and Chris swallows it right away, stealing his breath with a kiss, and looks back at him.

Sebastian lets his head fall back as Chris' fingers trace his throat, his chest, trace to his belly and back again.He could feel himself getting hot and fuzzy.Those fingers wandered back to his face, lifting his chin to meet Chris' eyes.

"My good boy," he said, leaning closer, and Sebastian smiled at him.This time he meant it.is his. "You don't have to do this for me now." He reminded him gently. "If you—" He looks so anxious that Sebastian sits up a little and tries to kiss that look off his face.

When Sebastian's head dropped back on the mattress, his expression didn't change. Sebastian frowned, and Chris cupped his face. "Sebastian, that was a really bad meltdown. Then I—I punished you prematurely, and now I don't know if you…"

Sebastian doesn't want to talk, but if he doesn't say something quickly, Chris will probably run out of Sebastian's apartment in a panic again. Sebastian shook his head to dismiss the thought.No, he won't.He promised he wouldn't.Never again.

But he should still say something. "Please," he said, just a murmur, and Chris froze. "I need it, Chris, please. That-that helps… helps." Chris licks his lips worriedly, and Sebastian reaches up and gently tugs at Chris's hair, pulling him back. "Nothing needs to change. You—you said it." "I mean it." Chris reassured him immediately. "Nothing needs to change, but I just—now—"

"Now," Sebastian interrupted, "I want it."

"You're actually in control," Chris once said.It's no surprise to hear that, something Sebastian has always known but never quite like now, staring down at Chris until he nods.Still looking a little uneasy, he brushes his nails lightly through the hair on Sebastian's temples, so Sebastian leans back and kisses him again.

"Please," Sebastian said again, looking back at him firmly.He's so sure, and so incredibly eager, he can only hope it shows in his expression.He didn't want Chris to pity him.He wants Chris to trust him.

"Okay," Chris finally said.His thumb strokes Sebastian's lower lip, and Sebastian lets it fall into his mouth.The pressure on his tongue caused his brain to slowly start to shut down.This is exactly what he needs.He let his eyelids close. "What do you want, Sebastian?"

He doesn't want to talk anymore.Instead, he sucks Chris' thumb lightly, before letting it out of his mouth. Chris, waiting for an explanation, while silently letting Sebastian undress Chris and start kissing down his chest. Chris watched him, running a hand through his hair, and Sebastian moaned, wrapping his lips around Chris' cock.

Chris reacts immediately, throwing his elbows up with a gasp, and a wave of strength creeps into Sebastian's body.He swallowed Chris further and knelt between his legs, watching Chris' eyes cloud. Sebastian's back began to grow, pressing him firmly against the bed.The most important thing is only his mouth.Be good for Chris.

"I want you to come," Chris said suddenly, his voice hoarse. "Right now. Don't stop, just shoot."

Sebastian's body reacted before he could give the command, his mind went blank and he slumped against the mattress and came. Chris has his hands in his hair, guiding him forward. Sebastian's body was still as light as a rootless duckweed.He can hear Chris's voice, good boy, good boy, good boy.His throat is moving, swallowing Chris over and over, but the rest of his body is paralyzed.

Chris was still looking at him, his eyes dim. "You are so beautiful," he said again. "It's like this...fin-perfect..." Sebastian felt weighed down, heavy and comfortable.He doesn't want to move anymore.like this.

Sebastian's head jerked back and Chris started to cum, and then some of it hit his lips and splattered his cheek.The way he looks makes Chris' eyes light up. "What a good boy," he murmured, rubbing the cum into his mouth with his fingers.

Sebastian lets himself be carried back into Chris' lap, the water glass on the bedside table pressed against his open mouth.He takes a few sips obediently, and then Chris lets him curl up in his arms, vision dazed, Chris running his fingers through his hair and kissing his throat in the half-dream.

"My perfect good boy," Chris said softly. "You're doing really well." Sebastian grins into his arms and grunts contentedly. "Is there anything else you need?" Chris then asks, and Sebsastian has to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing. "What's wrong?"

"It's fine," Sebastian replied. "I'm fine. Feeling better."

Chris smiled at him, tilted his head and kissed his cheek. "Are you serious this time?"

Hesitating for a moment, Sebastian allows himself to steal a kiss, pressing Chris' lips quickly and simply. "Yeah," he said, softly and hoarsely. "Yes, I'm serious."

The realization hits him just as Chris is planting an alluring kiss on Sebastian's neck. "Wait," Sebastian said aloud, his voice still a little hoarse. "You're in New York now."

Chris looks confused and opens his mouth to say something, but the gravity of this awareness hits Sebastian so hard that he sits up with a yelp. Chris jerks back as if he'd hurt him, and Sebastian fights back the lump in his throat that's warning him he's getting ridiculously emotional again.

"Oh my God. You came home. You were at home and now you are here."

Chris scrunched his face. "Uh, yes?"

"You're with your family! I—I called, and you left the relatives behind except for my fucking useless—" Chris' eyes are wide, tense and worried, and Sebastian doesn't deserve him.He doesn't deserve it all.

"Sebastian, you need me. After what I've done to you, I'm not going to let you—"

The S bully shook his head for three days, tears once again threatening to come out of his eyes.He barely opened his mouth. "I don't. I don't want to — I'm fine. Go back. Go home. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You'll never see them again, and I — I ruined everything."

"You didn't ruin anything. Calm down, Seb, please, it's okay." Sebastian wanted to argue, but Chris' hand was firmly and firmly on his shoulder, slowly down his arm rub. "You didn't ruin anything. I told them you needed me. They understood."

"They didn't have to!" Sebastian said, but Chris gripped his hand tightly.He pulls Sebastian to his chest, whispering something into his hair. "Why did you do that? Why did you leave? You spent so little time with them, you—"

"Shh, Sebastian, please calm down." Sebastian realizes he's shaking, and leans closer to Chris, letting him wrap his arms around him. "It's okay. I'll see them again soon. You're more important now."

"No, it's not," Sebastian wailed. "I'm fine. I don't want to – I can't stop you from seeing your family."

"You're not stopping me from anything, Sebastian," Chris said lightly. "I want to be here. I love you."

Sebastian's breath leaves his body in a snap, and he jerks back, meeting Chris' gaze as he lets Sebastian jerk away. "What-what?"

Chris looked a little intimidated by his confession.Or maybe, from the twisted look on his face, it was a sudden realization that he never said that. "Oh, Sebastian." He sounded almost hurt, and went back and kissed Sebastian all over the face. "God, of course I love you."

Sebastian stares at him dumbfounded, and Chris cups his face in his cup and spreads tiny kisses on it.He didn't realize he was crying until Chris wiped the tears off his face.He's ashamed of his lack of control, but Chris doesn't stop kissing him, murmuring over and over in the kiss, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Sebastian's head is spinning.He grabs Chris' hair. "I'm sorry," Chris says again, almost repeating to himself, "I love you. I love you, I love you." And Sebastian just nods, his heart pounding in his ear, almost drowning Chris' words.

"I love you too," Sebastian replied with a gasp. "I...I love you too." Chris smiled down at him, Sebastian's eyes quivered uncomfortably, and Chris ran his hands over his face. "This is—" He paused, realizing why he was upset just a month ago. "No, it's okay. You...you need to go home."

Chris looks like he knows what Sebastian is going to say. "Ask me," he said, his voice firm, almost like a command.

Swallowing, Sebastian asked softly, "Does this mean you will stay this time?"

Chris nodded, smiling.He nuzzles Sebastian's neck. "Yeah," he replied, his voice muffled by Sebastian's shoulder. "How long you want me to stay."