You said as long as we are careful enough

Like a stone in Sebastian's stomach.He knew he was going back to New York sooner or later, maybe even sooner, but he didn't think it was 'now'.Especially since he just got the collar.Unless, he realizes with horror, it's his reaction to the collar that makes Chris suspicious.

Sebastian reaches up to grab the collar for reassurance before remembering he's not wearing it.There was nothing in his clenched fingers, and he pretended he just wanted to scratch his neck. "Why?" As soon as he asked, Sebastian felt stupid.

He must have looked as disturbed as he felt, because Chris instantly contrived and ran his fingers over Sebastian tenderly.Noticing Sebastian's fingers on his throat, Chris' hand goes down to wrap Sebastian's neck reassuringly. "It's not like that, hey, it's — Seb, it's alright."

The pressure on the neck stabilizes the person.A tight and solid alternative to a collar. "Sebastian, it's okay. You're still mine. You'll always be mine. Look at me." Sebastian's eyes found Chris, apologetic and nervous.The relief eased the tension in Sebastian's spine. Chris wasn't serious. Sebastian still belonged to him.

"I...fuck. I'm sorry. I misspoken. I wanted you to stay here. Okay? That's not how it works. It's just...it's been almost a week. It's going to look weird if you stay any longer because You're not working."

It feels like an excuse, but at least it's a valid one. Sebastian shrugged.He doesn't care about that, but he's starting to think Chris does.Maybe he should care.Before he could argue, Chris said, "Did you go over the whole list yesterday?"

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"You said you 're-examined something,' but all you wrote down was the collar." Chris stroked his hair sweetly, and Sebastian watched the tenderness on his face. "Makes me wonder if you checked the whole list, or if that's the only thing in your head."

Sebastian looks at his knees.He stroked a bruise with his thumb. "You're right," he said after a moment. "I just...collar."

"I guess so," Chris said, pressing a kiss to Sebastian's hair. "I want you to go over the whole list for me."

Sebastian looked up and Chris put a hand on his knee and squeezed it gently, creating a momentary sharp pain in his thigh that made him bite his lower lip. "I want you to go through the things you weren't sure about when we started, and I want you to see if you've changed your mind about any of them."

Sebastian nods.

"It's easier for you without me around," he says, and Sebastian nods again, feeling his unease go away a little more.That makes sense.Anyway, Sebastian had proven how independent he was by being alone yesterday.

"I didn't mean to put pressure on you." Chris added hastily. "You don't have to change your mind about anything if you don't want to. I just think it's important that you look at the whole list. The collar just...you seem to be really affected by it."

Sebastian doesn't know if this is good or bad.He tries not to look at Chris, who seems to realize how that sounds.He kisses Sebastian again, squeezing his neck lightly. "If there is anything else that has this effect on you, I want to know."

Sebastian smirked, but didn't look up.He nodded again. "Okay." He said after a pause. Chris' hands are off his neck. "I can do this tonight," he offered. "In the hotel room. Then come back."

Chris shakes his head. "I want you to think about it, Seb. Without repercussions." He lifted Sebastian's jaw and looked him in the eye. "You can come back anytime. Or call me and I'll be right there. But if you're here doing this, I'm afraid you'll 'run away'."

Sebastian nods.He understands, he really understands.He didn't even think Chris was wrong.But it didn't work.Those words still made him feel cold and heartless.

Chris must have known, because he started coddling Sebastian as soon as he pulled him out of the tub.He dried him gently, kissing his wet neck until Sebastian was itching all over. Chris thumbs the mark he's left at the base of his throat. Sebastian hisses and Chris moves away.

"No." Sebastian blurted out, pulling Chris' wrist back around his neck. Chris studied him carefully.

"You really like me leaving marks on you." It's not a question, but Sebastian nods anyway. "It's a little dangerous for you." He smiled triumphantly. Sebastian smiles back, and Chris asks, "Do you want me to keep more?" Sebastian nods again, and Chris pushes him against the wall suddenly, without warning.His head hit the tile and his whole body trembled.

Chris watched, fascinated. "You're so fucking sensitive!" he says, a flash of pride that makes Sebastian lick his lips. Chris scratches Sebastian's sides with his nails, then pulls him over, wrapping his arms around Sebastian tightly, holding his ear, nuzzling his shoulder.

It's a bit exciting to be hugged like this with nothing on but a towel.He's apologizing, Sebastian can tell.He didn't mean to suddenly abandon him like that just now.Knowing Chris, he had already rehearsed in his head how many times he would say what to say before he could get it out of his mouth. Chris is kissing his neck, slowly pressing Sebastian back against the wall, the warmth spreading all over Sebastian again.

Chris's teeth bite Sebastian's throat softly, within inches of the mark he left, and Sebastian grunts. Chris backs away, but just enough to put his nose against Sebastian's skin, "Want your collar?" Sebastian nods, and Chris slides his fingers up to gently poke at the bruise. "Okay, come here, let me take care of this first." Christian

Sebastian lets himself be led to the medicine cabinet, and Chris takes a peek in the mirror while he looks for something. Chris's teeth marks are still perfectly branded above his collarbone, and a reddish purple bruise has begun to appear around it.If he had put on a regular T-shirt, anyone would have been able to see it.

He reached out to touch again when Chris turned around with a tube of antibiotic ointment. Chris watched him nervously. "Can't take it anymore?"

Sebastian shook his head. "No." It made him feel different.Inexplicably, (feeling) stronger.He remembered what Chris had told him in the kitchen: He was beautiful.Then his neck was red hot.He thinks (he is) beautiful. Chris pushes Sebastian's hand away to apply a thin layer of ointment to the tooth mark while Sebastian watches in the mirror.

For the first time since this thing started, he realized how suddenly he had become this kind of person.It doesn't feel weird, because Chris is here, explaining things calmly and thoroughly, always understanding.He worried that going home would change all that, that it would settle too quickly.He wondered if it 'should' feel weird.

He looks down at Chris's face, the tip of his tongue poking out slightly between his lips as he inspects the teeth marks for broken skin.

Sebastian smiles, and Chris looks up at it. "What's wrong?"

"Did you know that you stick out your tongue when you're concentrating?"

Chris moves his jaw like he just realized he has a tongue.He glared at Sebastian, then went back to what he was doing. "Did you know that you drool in your sleep?" he asks, with fake poignancy in his voice, and Sebastian giggles.Hearing this voice, Chris smiled to himself, and Sebastian felt the tension in his heart lighten slightly.

"Let this dry first, and then we'll put your collar back on," Chris said, eyeing Sebastian carefully again. "Aren't you cold? Would you like to get dressed?"

Sebastian frowned. "They're all dirty."

Chris scowled, like he forgot again that Sebastian didn't live with him. "Hey, I'm going to wash." He said and left the bathroom. Before Sebastian can follow, he's back with a t-shirt and drawstring pants from his own closet.

Sebastian felt slightly dizzy as he pulled the shirt over his head.The clothes hung on his shoulders, completely unable to cover the deep black hickey on his throat.The trousers covered his feet, and Chris gave him a smirk.

"what happened?"

"Looks so cute."

Sebastian grimaced. "You're not that much taller than me!"

Chris shrugged. "I'm tall enough to make you look cute."

Sebastian sneered at him and tried to get past him into the bedroom, but Chris blocked his way at the door. "Sebastian." He lifts Sebastian's chin to meet his eyes, sliding his fingers behind his jaw.He looked uncommonly disturbed, and it took Sebastian a long time to realize that it was because Sebastian was wearing his clothes.

He's messed up, bruised, and in pajamas that are three sizes too big, but Chris looks at him and he hears the sound again, looping through his head like a broken record.You're beautiful.

"I will miss you."

Sebastian blinks. "Um?"

"Not trying to dump you. Did I say that before? I don't think I did. I don't want you to think—I just want to..." Chris looked like he was trying to find the right one wording. Sebastian watches his Adam's apple go up and down as he swallows. "I just want you to be sure."

Sebastian nods.He wanted to tell him he was sure, but he didn't want Chris to argue with him. "I know." He replied softly. When Chris didn't say anything else, he added, "I'm sure about those traces."

Chris nodded. "Okay," he said, pushing him against the sink, and Sebastian slammed his back against the counter in shock. "where?"

Sebastian hesitated.anywhere.everywhere.It doesn't matter.His hands twitched to touch his throat, but he knew Chris wouldn't want to. "I—I don't—"

Chris cuts him off, hugs him onto the counter, and rips off his pants, before he even gets them all the way down before leaning over and biting his thigh. Sebastian jerked. "God!" Chris pushed him down so hard that his back hit the faucet. Countless bright spots immediately appeared in front of Sebastian's eyes, Chris let out a low growl, grabbed Sebastian's legs, and found a better angle to bite down again.

Sebastian falls to the mirror, panting, his hands desperately grabbing on to anything for support before finally landing in Chris' hair. Chris's next bite landed dangerously further up his thigh, and Sebastian struggled. Chris backs away instantly, and for a moment Sebastian wonders if he's done something wrong, but Chris just sees it as a request to move to the other leg.

Sebastian's head 'Boom! ' fell back onto the glass with a bang.

Strong hands gripped his waist tightly, and he slowly closed his eyes.It wasn't until he heard Chris' voice that he realized he had left his lap. "You can't come." Sebastian swallows, and Chris kisses him under the chin. "Don't try. Just relax."

Sebastian nods without even understanding.Moments later, he shivered uncontrollably as the warm, damp heat enveloped his oversensitive cock.He looked down and saw Chris' face on his legs, his knees on Chris' shoulders, and Chris was looking up at him.

Can't help it, but he can't orgasm.His eyes began to sting and his throat tightened.Moments later, tears rolled down his face.A voice flies out of his body uncontrollably, his body goes limp, and Chris' eyes land on Sebastian's hand. Sebastian shook his head and muttered. "No." He reached for Chris's hand, his voice barely audible.

"Look at me." Sebastian managed to say, his voice hoarse, and Chris let go of a hand on Sebastian's waist, wrapped his fingers tightly around Sebastian's hand, and turned his eyes back to Sebastian's face. Sebastian's skin is electrified, and Chris swallows hard, clutching Sebastian like he's afraid he'll shatter and collapse.

Sebastian's vision starts to blur, and he slumps back against the mirror as Chris backs away.With a soft click, he helped Sebastian sit up on the countertop.Frowning, he thumbed away the tears from his eyes.

"Seb…" he said, but seemed to change his mind. "I—wait a minute," he told him, kissed his cheek, and disappeared into the bedroom. Sebastian weeps pitifully, embarrassed by the movement of his mouth, but Chris returns with Sebastian's collar in his hand, coaxing him affectionately (without crying).

Sebastian sticks out his throat. "That's my good boy," Chris whispered softly, fastening the collar back around Sebastian's neck and helping him back into his pants.He wiped his face again and asked softly, "Can you walk?" Sebastian nodded and Chris kissed his temple. "Okay. Come on, let me wash your clothes first."

Sliding off the counter a little awkwardly, Sebastian stood up and followed him, hesitating again when he reached Chris's bedside. Chris pauses to change his pajama bottoms into jeans and a clean t-shirt, looking back just in time to see Sebastian pick up the (dog) leash from the floor. Sebastian's eyes shifted from Chris to the belt in his hand, and he handed it to him wordlessly.

"Shh, okay." Chris took the belt and buckled it around Sebastian's collar. "Go?" Sebastian nodded, and Chris pulled the belt lightly, leading him into the living room.With the leash on, he feels more secure.safer.

Chris settles Sebastian on the couch and gives him another look. Sebastian stiffened and wiped his eyes. "You still…" Chris pauses, and Sebastian can tell he's not sure if he should bring it up.

His voice dropped. "Are you okay?" Sebastian blinks, nods, and closes his eyes again as Chris leans down to kiss his face tenderly. "I'll be right back," he said and hurried off to do a load of laundry while Sebastian waited patiently.

When Chris sits down, Sebastian snuggles up against him, leaning against Chris' lap. Chris hums softly, approvingly, and runs his hands through Sebastian's hair.It's so relaxing.Makes people calm.It's as if he belongs somewhere. Chris turns on the TV, and he hears the muffled voice filling the room, but it doesn't matter what's playing on it.

The room was quiet and peaceful, and Chris let his fingers run through Sebastian's hair.They don't say anything to each other, and Sebastian just listens to Chris' breathing.

The hand in his hair trembled and froze. Sebastian realizes he's been nuzzling the crotch of Chris' jeans. Sebastian puts his teeth around Chris' zipper and pulls down, ripping open the button.He can feel Chris watching, egged on by the stunned silence, and Sebastian scrambles into his jeans eagerly, taking Chris' cock in his mouth.

"Sebastian!"

Sebastian crawls to the ground and nestles between Chris' feet.It sounds vague. Chris was gasping silently at him.He hasn't had an orgasm since last night, and Sebastian needs to get him comfortable.He needs Chris to want him. Chris caresses Sebastian's face, dabbing half-dried tears all over his cheeks, before moaning. "Fuck! You really—" His eyes widen suddenly, and Sebastian tries to climb onto his lap, whimpering against his skin.

He needs Chris to come.He needs him to fuck his sore throat so he can feel it for the rest of the day.He wanted to go back to New York full of 'reminders'.He could feel the hardwood under his knees, and sat up, pressing hard on the floor, desperately wanting his bruise to tingle.

The action made Chris shudder and ejaculate immediately in his throat, and Sebastian closed his eyes in relief, sucking gently to help him through the aftertaste, before stepping back to let him lick it clean.

He can hear Chris gasping for breath, and it sets a spark in his stomach.Afraid to move away from his lap, he keeps his face close until Chris lifts his chin with his fingers.

Chris doesn't say anything, just breathes heavily and looks back at Sebastian, like he's waiting for a cue to say something first, but he won't.Warmth radiated from him at the thought of waiting for the order to be allowed to speak.Finally, Chris's hand moves, caressing Sebastian's cheek, thumb stroking his lower lip.

He looks like he wants to talk, something important, like telling Sebastian that he can stay in Boston as long as he wants, and Sebastian feels a tingle of hope.But Chris just smiled at him. "You are amazing."

Sebastian grinned.That's great too.

The rest of the time was uneventful.They ordered pizza and didn't go out.Quietly watching a movie turned into slow, warm kisses lying on the couch.They watch the movie, and the kiss turns into a conversation, and then a kiss again.Chris didn't seem to remember Sebastian's hotel room until around midnight. "You have to go back," he said softly, and Sebastian forced himself to take it lightly.

"I don't want to be a pumpkin." He joked. Chris smiled at him.

Chris helped him undress him and put on his own, and when Sebastian undressed, he smiled at the bruised fingerprints on his waist and the bruises all over his thighs.While helping him into his jeans, Chris caught him staring.

"Call me when they're gone," he said, smoothing Sebastian's shirt. "I'll go over and make more."

Sebastian lets out a long breath, and Chris looks apologetic, absently fiddling with the collar of his shirt. "This one too," he compensated, nodding at the mark on his neck. "It's going to take some time, but not too long."

Sebastian smiles and nods, and Chris fiddles with it until his shirt falls off. "I'll…find you a scarf," he says after a moment, and Sebastian can't help laughing.

"Do you have a scarf?"

"I live in Boston." Chris said in a slightly offended tone as he walked to the closet.When he reappeared, he held a simple black scarf around Sebastian's neck. Sebastian's whole body suddenly felt warm. "Okay. This will cover the collar too."

The thought of wearing his collar in public makes Sebastian's chest swell, even though no one will see it.As if knowing what he's thinking, Chris warns, "If you're going to wear it out, be careful. Only if..." He doesn't seem to be able to think of any proper qualification, so he rephrases. "Just be careful."

"I don't know." Sebastian mused, "I think it matches my looks perfectly."

Chris rolled his eyes, ruffling Sebastian's hair on purpose as he walked him to the door. "If you don't want to, you don't have to come and see me in the morning," he said before opening the door. "I want you to come. If you don't want to come, let me know when you get home."

Sebastian nodded, and Chris added, "Let me know when you need me."

He nodded again, and Chris closed the door behind him.

Sebastian hails a cab after walking a few blocks.When he got back to his hotel room, he sat in silence for a long, seemingly longer time than usual. "Fool," he told himself at last, and fell asleep in his clothes.

The next morning, Chris walks him to the train station.He made him pack his collar, but the scarf felt almost like a substitute draped over his shoulders. "Let me know," Chris told him firmly as he helped him get the duffel bag out of the car.

Sebastian nods wordlessly, and Chris gives him a hug.

It took almost an hour for Sebastian to get on the train, and then he started to feel a tightness in his throat.He looked out the window trying not to let anyone notice that he was crying, thankfully no one recognized him or stopped him.

When he got home, he sent a message to Chris, and Chris' reply came immediately:

how do you feel?

Sebastian sighs.He felt tense, alone, and tired.I feel better, he replied, and after thinking about it again, admitted: Tired and a little nervous.He didn't want to be alone.He didn't want to make it look like he was whining.

A few seconds after he hit 'send', his phone beeped.Put on your collar.

Sebastian dug the collar out of the suitcase and buckled it around his neck.Reassurance washed over him in a way he hadn't expected, and he collapsed on the couch. After 1 minute, he texted back thank you.

Chris must have never gotten off the phone.do you need anything else

Sebastian thinks about it, but he feels better now than he thought he would.He's not sure if it's due to the collar or the knowledge that Chris will come back as soon as Sebastian's bruise is gone.I'm ready.

It took a while for the next reply to appear.very good.Let me know as soon as there are changes.You can take it off anytime.

Sebastian smiles, feeling a little better.Yes, sir.

Sebastian didn't know what he was expecting in the first place, but the 'errands' Chris helped him with were never meant to be sexual.He thinks about when they first started this thing, before Sebastian even knew what they were doing. (Just) Tell him how to dress, what to eat, and when to eat. The closest thing Chris ever made him to be sexual was posting a picture of the hickey on his neck every morning. Sebastian doesn't feel it disappearing, but Chris always has to comment on how it's getting lighter.

After a few days, Sebastian became frustrated and irritable.He wasn't even sure why.Time seemed to slow down without Chris by his side, and his 'fuse' shortened.He becomes extremely impatient and easily nervous.His sexual frustrations also started to become harder to ignore.

Finally, he worked up the courage to send Chris a message.I want to fuck someone.

He's even more annoyed at how long it took Chris to reply, like he was planning to fuck someone when he said the 'password'.

if you want.The answer drives Sebastian mad for an instant, and he doesn't even bother to burst out.

He didn't reply to his text message for two whole days.

On the third day, Chris sent him a message.

Where are you?do you need me

Sebastian glared at the message.He looked at the dishes he had thrown in the sink, and considered the prospect of talking about it at this moment.Hesitated.He took a picture of his own neck.Faded, but definitely still there.He still had to tie a scarf or a turtleneck to go out.

He stared at the photo on his phone screen for a minute, trying to think of what to say.He just needs Chris.He wants him here.But the evidence on his skin was still there, so there was nothing he could do.He sighed, and sent out the photo, with a simple note saying no.

To Sebastian's surprise, Chris responded by calling him right away. "What happened?" Sebastian asked as soon as he picked it up. Chris isn't usually the type to skip formal phone politeness, so he must be genuinely in a hurry. Sebastian willfully feels triumphant.

"I am fine."

Chris sounded totally incredulous. "You haven't said a word to me in two days. You haven't even posted a picture. Did I do (wrong) something?"

Sebastian fell silent suddenly, his short-lived sense of triumph turning to stupidity. "without."

"Do you want me to come and see you?"

Sebastian presses on the bruise.It's not as painful as it used to be. "you can not."

"If you need me, I can."

Hearing this, Sebastian paused.He never thought it would be so easy. "I'm fine," he finally repeated.Now, the guilt that made Chris worry so much weighed heavily on his shoulders. "I... I'm sorry, I'm fine."

They chatted for a few minutes afterward, Sebastian washing the dishes.The more they talked about normal things, the more Sebastian felt that he was being vexatious.He threw the dishcloth into the pool and blurted out, "I haven't done anything yet."

Chris sounded confused. "Do-do what?"

Sebastian is shy, wilted, feeling childish because he finds it clumsy to say it.The discovery brought up the topic thoroughly. "Jerking off. Having sex. I didn't even..." He swallowed, and hurried into the living room. "I haven't come since the last time you ordered me to come."

"Oh." Chris's voice was a little softer. "But I… I said you could?" He sounds like he doesn't know how to react, and Sebastian sighs, disappointed and regretful.

You never told me, Sebastian wants to say, but all that comes out is, "I didn't mean to."

There was silence on the other end of the phone.When he was about to ask Chris if he was still there, Chris asked, "Do you think about it now?"

Sebastian blinked and fell back on the couch. "Now?"

Chris's reply was so quick that it almost drowned out Sebastian's voice. "Unless you don't want to or think it's weird."

oh. "No, um... for now... fine."

"Okay." Chris said, exhaling.Realizing that he was nervous too, Sebastian smiled. "Touch yourself."

Before he could even think of putting it there, Sebastian's hand slipped into his pants.He made a slight movement, and Chris said softly, "Keep a slow and steady rhythm, okay?" There was a minute of silence, Sebastian was completely lost in it, and then Chris' voice was close to his ear. : "Tell me what's on your mind?"

Sebastian's chest flushed, and he let his thoughts leave his mouth before he could even organize them. "Cuff me to the bed, fuck me straight up, don't let me cum until—" He stammered as the first real arousal surged through his body.

"Until when, Sebastian, keep talking."

Sebastian groans. "Until you come. Cum on—on my back." The sight made his hips twitch, and he tried in vain to wriggle his pants off without using his hands. "Tag me and drag me naked on my (dog) leash outside for an exhibit. Show—show everyone..."

"What a good boy you are." Chris finished for Sebastian when he was speechless.He sounded a little wheezing. "anything else?"

"Want you to fuck me in public. Want to—" His eyes rolled up a little, and he had to take a deep breath to get himself under control. "I want everyone to see that you have me."

"Holy shit!" Chris said on the other end of the phone, his voice hoarse.

Sebastian gradually began to forget what he was talking about, focusing on the restrained voices on the other end of Chris's phone. "Tie my feet to the bed and handcuff me," he murmured, words too fast for his tongue. "Can't move. The vibrator is inside me and you're fucking my mouth."

"Oh my god!" Chris made a desperate, soft noise from the bottom of his throat. Sebastian doesn't even notice, already distracted by the onslaught of other senses and the sweet sound of his cum.

Sebastian