Divergent

This time, taking advantage of the Qingming holiday, I suddenly wanted to go back to that small town to escape the impetuousness and busyness of the city.In the bustling lights of the city, I couldn't find myself. In the world of people coming and going, I was passed by alone in my chest, and it became more and more difficult to breathe.And me?where am I?I'm going to find myself.

In the early morning of the day when I returned to the town, the alarm clock woke up the sleepy me early.I took the painting she gave me—the little deer, and took the morning bus back to the town.The small town is like home to me, even though I've only been here for three years.Along the way, there are green fields on both sides, and the fresh and happy air is different from the city.The mobile phone has been playing John Denver's "Take Me Home, Country Roads" in a loop.This is what it feels like to be home.

When the car arrived in the small town, I stood there blankly, looking at the familiar old streets and the familiar faces on the old streets, please come to the small town without any problems.

I carefully took out the little deer from my schoolbag, and said to it to myself: "Little deer, I brought you home, I finally brought you home!" As I spoke, the corners of my eyes turned red.

I was very excited to return to this place that haunted my dreams. I walked on the street, scanning this familiar small town with my eyes, trying to get a panoramic view of everything here.I kept saying to myself in my heart: "This is my hometown, this is my home!" Everything here, including the dust brought up by vehicles, is so nostalgic. They are all my old friends. Meet me with a dance after a long absence.

I contacted Chen Bin, the best brother in the town and none of them. It turned out that the room I lived in when I was studying here had been rented out to someone else, so I had to temporarily live in his house today.

We played football at school for a while, and we went to Chen Bin's house after a short time because of our foot injury.His family are very enthusiastic.

After a hearty lunch at his house, Chen and I wandered around the town's market.There are several mahjong parlors scattered around the market.When I walked past the door of one of the mahjong parlors, I glanced inside inadvertently and saw an unexpected figure: an aunt in her thirties and 40s, who was not tall, very thin, and didn’t like to talk much. But when she smiles, she is as beautiful as Yao Qian.She was wearing a green coat and was sitting on the mahjong table near the door.Maybe, many things in life come so suddenly, they break into someone's life without a moment's notice, and maybe just one glance has already changed the trajectory of life.

I stopped Chen Bin with a hint of surprise, and pointed at the lady secretly and said to Chen Bin: "Look! That aunt looks like Yao Qian's mother!" So Chen Bin looked at her carefully. Fan said: "It's a bit similar, but it shouldn't be." I said disheartened: "Maybe." , it shouldn't be, it's just a bit similar!

We continued to walk into the market, but my eyes stayed on the lady in the green coat.After walking a few steps, I went back again, and Chen Bin came over and asked me what was wrong, and I said, "It's really similar, if you don't believe me, take a closer look!" Chen may be a little impatient, and said to me: "Oh, no. , It’s just like that.” Forget it, I gave up my guess about the lady.

The mahjong parlor is very close to the building where Yao Qian used to live. When I walked downstairs, I stopped and stood there, reluctant to leave for a long time.I stared at the building in front of me. Even though I knew she had moved, I still stubbornly stared at this building. In fact, I was very satisfied just looking at it.The building is not high, with only four floors, but I never knew which floor she lived here before, nor did I know which house number she lived behind.All I know is that her figure disappears at the dark stairway of this building every night.

"I don't know how she is now..." I looked at the row of low buildings in front of me and said to Chen Bin.

He turned his head and said, "I think it's not bad, I just saw her last week." In my opinion, Chen's understatement was like a thunderbolt hitting me.I seemed to be hacked in an instant and couldn't move.I was surprised and asked myself: "What did he say? Did I hear it right? How is it possible! Didn't Yao move? Didn't he never come back?"

I was so nervous that I almost trembled, I asked: "You said...you saw her? Where did you see it?"

"It's in this small town. I saw her waiting for the bus that day." Chen said flatly.

When this question was confirmed, the brain suddenly lost control with a "buzz".

I ran to the small shop downstairs of her house and asked the boss about her news. I asked the boss if he knew which room Yao lived in this building. The boss thought for a while and said, "Oh, Yao Qian... Those who saw her yesterday must have lived on the right side of the building." Yesterday?Did she really not move away?

I didn't hear very clearly which floor the boss said, so I asked in a panic, thanked in a panic, and then immediately ran to the third floor in a panic and knocked on the door on the right.

I knocked on the door three times but no one came to open it. At this time, Chen Bin also came upstairs. He saw my helpless eyes and said, "Did you hear me wrong? Ask again!" So I ran to the door again. Asking downstairs, I pretended to be relaxed and asked the boss, but in fact I concentrated all my energy to hear every word he said.

The boss said: "I just said, live on the fourth floor! The top floor!"

Fourth floor!Fourth floor!I immediately ran to the fourth floor with Chen. There are five rooms on this floor. I can't be sure which one she lives in. I plan to go door-to-door to ask.The palms are already sweating.

Standing in the corridor, I faintly heard beautiful classical music coming from the innermost room. I thought that since there was music playing, someone should be there.I'm going to start asking questions from this room, and I've been thinking about what to ask when the door is opened, whether I've seen a girl about my age on this floor, or just asking if I know her Yao Qian.I don't know, I'm very upset.

I nervously knocked on the door of the innermost house, and immediately took my hand back.It does have classical music playing.

I could clearly hear the people inside putting on their slippers and walking to the door slowly after hearing the knock on the door.Both Chen and I held our breaths tacitly, waiting to ask after the door opened.

The door was slowly opened, and a ray of warm sunlight leaked through the door.

The sun shines on the person who opened the door, and because the sun is very dazzling when the door is opened, only the outline can be seen clearly.The silhouette of the person inside the door is too good-looking, with long hair draped over the shoulders, and a thin figure... When I looked closely, it turned out to be her!Yao Qian!Such a beautiful outline really belonged to her. Only she could have the beauty of a foreign land and the alluring eyes.

When we all saw each other clearly, she slammed the door shut.It all felt like a dream.

The moment I saw her again after a year, my heart broke completely, and the high walls I had built collapsed.It was as if I had been ruthlessly pushed down from a cliff, and I was smashed to pieces when I fell to the ground.

I kept panting heavily, like a simple child who was frightened by a sudden storm and turned pale.Breathing involuntarily, tears began to escape from the eyes.It was also at that moment that I realized that my heart was still so fragile when facing some people.No matter how thick my armor is, it can still be easily penetrated by one person.That was also the first time I cried in front of Chen Bin, and he was bewildered by his hopeless appearance.

Before that moment, I buried her memory deeply, and I was used to the boring life in the city.Before that moment, my city walls were very high, and I was always laughing and laughing with people I didn't know well every day. I became numb and forced to adapt to this complicated law of survival.Before that moment, I thought I would never meet her again in this life.

When my tears passed the corner of my mouth and fell to the ground, the tears also melted my uniform, and I became the truest me.Upon seeing this, Chen Bin came over and patted my back to comfort me. He said, "Wen Sheng, it's okay, it's okay."

I waved my hand and told him that I was fine, and Chen Bin went downstairs to make room for us.

What is certain is that she did not move away, she lied to me at the beginning.These tears, I know, are tears of happiness, and I am glad that I can meet her again in my lifetime.The two were so close again, yes, only separated by a wall.

I put my hand on the doorknob and refused to let go, and the tears in the corners of my eyes kept flowing from the bottom of my heart.I didn't speak, and neither did she.I know she has been leaning against the door listening to the voices outside.

We inside and outside the door may have never felt such a quiet atmosphere. This 5 cm thick wooden door just cuts off time and space, and separates two hearts that were originally very close.It was as if I met her young on the other side of the world after spending half my life.Although it is devastated, there is still some warmth from the ruins.

Chen Bin came up again, and seeing me leaning against the door powerlessly, he asked suspiciously: "Did she not come out?" I said to him coldly as if I had lost my soul: "Yeah, you know, she She once told me that she has moved, and she doesn’t want me to come to her, right? It’s been a year, oh, it’s been a year..." After hearing this, he knocked on the door of Yao Qian's house a little "unjustly". Shouting loudly: "Yao Qian, come out to play, it's okay." Yao Qian didn't answer, I don't know how she felt when she saw me at that time, was she panicked like me?I sighed and said to Chen Bin: "Forget it, let's go! Have a drink with me tonight!"

He shook my shoulder and nodded, and we went to school. Later, we met the teacher in charge of the junior high school and many old classmates. We had a pleasant afternoon, but I don’t remember it well because I lost it. soul.

When dusk came, I followed Chen Bin back to his house.I sat in the courtyard of Chen Bin’s house and looked into the distance. There was a small bamboo forest in front of me, and beyond that was an endless field. I stared blankly at the bamboo forest. Occasionally, some unknown birds flew over and sang happily. I took another look at the sunset, in fact, I was lucky enough, maybe she and I have seen the same bird and the same sunset, what else can I not be satisfied with?

After dinner, Chen and I made an appointment with Xiaopang and Cheng Wei to go to the town for a drink. This time I took the deer with me all the time, and I wanted to show it the night of the town.

We sat down in a barbecue restaurant, and Xiaopang gave us cigarettes.I took the cigarette and sucked it in big mouthfuls, hoping that the cigarette could share some of my sorrow.In addition to the barbecue, there are two bottles of strong wine and four bottles of beer on the table. I don't like drinking strong wine very much, but I just picked up a bottle and poured it into my stomach.Xiaopang originally wanted to stop me, but was stopped by Chen Bin, "Let him drink today." Chen Bin said.

After drinking, I felt a little uncomfortable in my chest, and I used beer to resolve it.After drinking another bottle of wine, he leaned on the chair and smoked in peace.

Xiaopang saw the painting in my hand, so he asked me what was in the painting, he wanted to see it.I handed it to him, and he opened it and looked at it for a while and said, "Is this what you drew?" It’s pretty similar, haha!” I smiled and said, “Ah, yes, I painted myself.”

Chen Bin knew the origin of this painting, and he knew me best here, but he allowed me to lie.

Not drunk after eating barbecue, the four of us decided to take a walk on the newly built road.

That road is the road full of stars that I walked with her on my back, but now she is no longer by my side, and now I am accompanied by a group of brothers.The stars are still there, but not as bright as before, and a few less bright street lights have been added along the wide road.We walked, talking about the past, and the joyful atmosphere continued until the end of the road.

Xiaopang suddenly sighed and said to me: "Oh, I think of you and Yao Qian at that time! It's really... a pity."

"Hmm." I replied nonchalantly.

"Then do you still have contact with Wang Zhi?"

"No, I have stopped contacting for a long time."

"Me too."

"I have already broken off friendship with him, and I deleted him in a fit of anger before."

Fatty was puzzled and asked, "Why?"

"Because Wang Zhi and Yao Qian played basketball together after they broke up, and Wen Sheng happened to see it." Chen Bin said first.

I said helplessly: "Yes." We didn't talk about him anymore. That Wang Zhi was a name that was both familiar and unfamiliar. And I broke off the relationship for three years, although it is regrettable, but I don't regret deleting him at the beginning.

It took us about half an hour to complete this wide and long road. At the end there was a fork in the road. If you go straight, you can go directly to Chen Bin’s house. If you go right, you can see the building where Yao lives. .At this moment, there was no one in the market, so I suddenly stopped Chen Bin and the three of them and said, "Why don't you go first! I have something to do, I'm going to the market." Complained: "Brother, there are no ghosts in the market now, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to buy cigarettes, you go first."

Fatty was about to speak again, but Chen Bin pulled him over. Chen said to him, "He is really busy, so leave him alone. Then Weng Wensheng, let's go play on the bridge first, call me later, let's go back together."

I said: "Okay." Chen Bin seemed to be able to see through any of my thoughts, and he even understood the meaning of any of my subtle movements and eyes.I am afraid that only brothers who truly have one life can do it.

Yes, I want to see her.

It was only when I reached the fork in the road that I realized that I was not satisfied with the rush of the door and the outside.It was a surprise to see her again today, if this is the only day in this life, then why don't I see her more.Just to live up to myself and her two years ago.Just like the lyrics, "I wish to leave two eyes to see you in front of the remaining light." The more I think about it, the more I can't control the memories about her churning in my mind.

I walked towards the building where she lived, and there was a weak street lamp in front of the building, as if waiting for my friend here.The old street lamp illuminated the ground pale, and my shadow was stretched thin and long.Everything is powerless, and I am also powerless. Loneliness took the opportunity to fill my body.

The street lamp walked towards me feebly, I took out my mobile phone, and told her using the verification message when I added friends on QQ: "I'm just downstairs, come out and meet up, okay? Just one time."

The wait is always long, and seeing that she didn't reply, I sent it again.

I received her reply not long after I sent it this time, and it was the first dialogue in a year.To me, it seems that more than half a century has passed, and things have changed.Knowing that I can't look back, but I am a bull.

She said: "It's getting late. You should go back early."

"Let's meet again, one last time, okay?"

"Isn't the last time the last time?"

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Weng Wensheng, I beg you, please go and don't bother me again."

"You...beg me?...I don't want to bother you...but is it so difficult for me to take another look at your face?"

When I uttered these words, my hands were trembling, and the bitterness completely eroded me. This time I did not shed tears, because I did not dare to dance anymore.

"You're bothering me!"

"I'm sorry, I beg you, I didn't mean to. Before I met you today, I thought I would never have the chance to see you again. I have changed and experienced a lot in this year. I It seems like I’ve been waiting for this day for almost half my life.”

"It's a pity that you didn't really spend half your life. Let's talk about it when you are half your life."

"However, Yao Qian... Today may be the last chance for me to meet you in this life, so I have to see you no matter what. Forgive me for being suddenly afraid that I will leave regrets for myself."

"You are so selfish!"

"Yes, who would be selfish of me?!"

I feel that my tight strings may break at any time.

"I'm living a good life now, and I like my life now. I won't see you. Don't be so naive, go back!"

"No, don't, I don't care about anything today! In order to meet you, I can sacrifice my life."

I have never felt so bitterly penetrated by the feeble streetlights.All the feelings can only be summed up as "bitterness". I stared blankly at the phone screen and typed some unreasonable words helplessly.

"Anyway, you are also an educated person, and your education level is not low. Why are you so childish?"

In fact, I knew she would respond to me like this, but I was still as stubborn as a cow.

"Oh! What books! What knowledge! I don't want it, it doesn't matter! I just want to see you. I don't care about anything. If you don't come down, I will go up and knock on the door! Then I will tell your mother directly that I want meet you."

"What!? When the door opened, my mother saw you and made everyone unhappy. Is it worth it?"

I didn't answer her, and my eyes gradually turned red. Is it my unwilling tears or a sign of being close to madness?I am not sure.I just told myself: worth it!worth!It's all worth it!

Another self dominated my body, I was about to collapse, and I really went up to the fourth floor.

Just as he was about to go out and knock on the door, a gentle wind blew in the corridor, and there were bursts of pleasant wind chimes from the door.The sound of this wind chime is so beautiful, I seem to have heard it somewhere, is that the wind chime she gave me?Did she not throw it?

In the end, I didn't knock down. I withdrew my hand and sat down on the stairs on the third floor with my head down.I lit a cigarette and said to myself: Weng Wensheng, what are you doing! ?What happened to you?

I took out my mobile phone and played the song "Always With Me" that once "belonged" to me and her on a loop.At this time, hurried footsteps came from downstairs, and when the footsteps were getting closer and closer to me, a beam of dazzling white light hit my face, and I thought to myself: Damn!Don't you know that it's impolite to shine a flashlight directly into my eyes?

I raised my head to blame that person, alas, it turned out to be Chen Bin and Cheng Wei.

Cheng Wei saw clearly that it was me, stepped up and asked, "What are you doing here?"

Chen Bin said to Cheng Wei: "You know it clearly, but you still have to ask him like this!"

"I was a little embarrassed looking at this situation, so I had to ask this way."

Chen Bin looked at me and said, "Is she out yet?"

I nodded with a wry smile.

Chen patted me on the shoulder and said, "Go back!"

I looked at him helplessly and said, "Go back first, I'll be here in a while."

Facing me who was so stubborn, they were also very helpless. Chen said: "Okay, it's up to you, call me when you come back, and I will pick you up!" I said: "Okay."

They hurried downstairs, and I was the only one left hiding in the invisible corridor.

I clicked on QQ and sent her a message again:

I said, "I'm right outside the door, come out."

"It's eleven o'clock now! Go back! It's late!" she said.

"It's not too late, I can wait for you all night, or just knock on the door." That I was forcing her.

"Go back, I'm afraid of you!"

"Afraid of me? What have I to be afraid of?"

"It's so late, I'm afraid you'll hurt me."

"Hehe... Hurt you? If it were you, would you hurt someone who would cry for her even in a dream?"

"But I'm still afraid."

"Don't always find such and such reasons, okay? Why don't you want to see me?"

"Because you are perverted!"

"Me? Where am I perverted?! Tell me!"

"Based on what you said today!"

It turned out that the kind of selflessness I understood had completely changed in her opinion.Yes, I am sick.I have nothing to say.

I replied coldly: "Really?"

It took a long time for her to reply: "You were the one who chose someone else at the beginning. Although I have also made trouble for no reason, I have already stepped out of that shadow."

"But I don't! Yao Qian, please do me a favor and see me, okay?"

"It's not my business?"

"Yes, it's really none of your business. It's all me!"

……

"Weng, why not let nature take its course? What if fate arranges for us to meet in the future? Today is just a one-off, and there will be opportunities to meet in the future."

"Fate? Ha, it's a pity that fate won't let us go."

"Well, I'll add you to QQ, can we be friends?"

"We can't be friends, I know that."

"Then can I send you my picture?"

In fact, when she said this, my first reaction was: Well, the photos are just photos, there will be no other results anyway, and there will be no regrets in living this life with her photos on my pillow.But I immediately changed my mind: "I don't want your photo, I just want a real you standing in front of me, even if you just stand like this and don't say a word."

"Tomorrow, right? Tomorrow we will all go back to our respective schools, and then I will let you see enough."

"No, I don't believe in tomorrow. I'm afraid I won't see you again after today is over."

"Wen Sheng, I have regressed, what else do you want?"

I lost and I really didn't want to bother her like this.But I don't know why I have already adapted to the days when I may never see her, but now I am extremely afraid of missing the opportunity to see her again.

"Okay, you won again." I said, "Then tomorrow! Good night!...By the way, can we have breakfast together tomorrow?"—I don't know why I said "won again" , my mind went blank.

I stood foolishly at the door waiting for her to reply, and she still didn't reply after waiting for half an hour, so I went downstairs.

Goodbye to that street lamp, I have no strength, like I just fought the most critical battle in my life.I know that my soul was lost on the night of April 4rd, it drifted in this quiet town, wandering among countless fields and low buildings, I became a corpse, a walking flesh corpse!

Even though everything that belongs to me has been cleaned up, I can still look up to the sky on the way to Chen Bin's house. Fortunately, there are still stars and cold wind to embrace me this night.Tears pour down, to the chest cavity, to the five internal organs; I digest the tears, I absorb the tears, and the bitterness makes me feel more uncomfortable.

Chen Bin had been waiting for me at the intersection early, and it was already late at night.

The dream was the next morning, she was still sitting across from me, and she was still wiping the table clean before eating.We talked about each other's recent life, waved and greeted, I think I still love her.

Lianshi has the heart to not die, but life is easy to be old and dreamy.I'm not old yet, my dreams are three points intoxicated.Dreams are dreams after all.

Early the next morning, before the sky was inlaid with her golden rim, I took the fawn to the market.

I felt like every pore in my body was panting nervously, like going on a first date with a first love.But in the final analysis, I feel guilty. If she came today, it seems that I forced her.I lied to myself.

This place has changed, the town is no longer as peaceful as it used to be, a factory has been built here, and the superior town government will vigorously develop the town.Sooner or later, the concrete road here will become asphalt road, the buildings here will be taller, and the fields here will be less.I worry that the spirits who stay here will lose their way.

I sent her a message and I said I had arrived at the bazaar.

Kegan waited for more than an hour, but still did not receive any news.I began to wonder if she fled back to her city before I came because she didn't want to see me, but it's only 7 o'clock now, so there isn't a bus so early.Maybe it's because she hasn't woken up yet, how can her pig compare to a weirdo like me.

Tired of looking at the scenery of the market, I ran to the narrow path from the school, from here I could see the windows of Yao Qian's house.

The weather was fine that day, and the sun was just right. After standing for a long time, my legs became sore and I walked around, or I just sat on the path and smelled the fragrance of flowers, and looked at the window on the fourth floor opposite from time to time.People often say "Flowers envy the four chomes of the world", but at this moment, I really want to be one of the flowers here, swaying and dancing in the wind.

I always feel that she is no longer in the room, that she has gone downstairs while I am looking at the wildflowers.My body suddenly sprang like clockwork, and I rushed to the station in the town, but there was no one waiting for the bus.I'm getting jumpy, and I don't want to miss any chance to see her, even if I can't have breakfast with her one last time.Even if you lied to me last night, I still have to wait.

I began to wander between the narrow path and the station, feeling anxious and a little cold.She really doesn't want to see me, right?

When I ran back to the narrow path for the seventh time, I finally saw her in the window from a distance, and she woke up.Then I saw her pouring water out of the window, her gaze seemed to stay with me for a while, and then she turned her back to the window.I was the only one standing on the spot with a schoolbag and a picture on the small path.The wind blows and sends warm hugs. Probably every lonely person likes the wind. Only lonely people know that when a person is alone, only the wind will accompany you through the long years.It was as if I had changed back to the person I was when the rainy season just came when I was thirteen or fourteen, that innocent and stubborn middle school student.

Even when she woke up she didn't reply to my message, she missed the appointment.Maybe yesterday's agreement was just to trick me into leaving.The wind got stronger, blowing the world tottering, turning this lonely city upside down.Wind, there is no temperature anymore, no matter how cold or hot it is, for the empty jar, everything is just a traction to keep it wandering.

I walked back to the station with heavy steps and sat on a low stool.Looking at the deer in my hand, I don't know where else I can wander.

After sitting for a while, I got up and walked to the intersection, and I saw Yao Qian and her mother walking towards here.I panicked and hid behind the tree next to the station, yes, this time the person hiding behind the tree was replaced by me.I quietly poked my head out to look at the station, Yao Ma was wearing a black coat, chatting and laughing with passers-by.I put my head back behind the tree again.I was extremely nervous, my palms were sweating, and when I poked my head out again, the person was gone!But I didn't see the car coming, where did they go? !

I ran wildly again, running like crazy, I shuttled between the roads and alleys of the small town, very much like that dream.My eyes searched for her back, and cold sweat began to break out on my brow.I ran to knock on the door of her house desperately, but there was no one except the sound of wind chimes.what to do!what to do!Where should I look?

Finally, he ran to collapse and had to lean against the wall.

sky--

please forgive me

I kept praying to my Heavenly Father that He would hear.

I went downstairs and walked towards the station feebly. At this time, I glanced and found that she had been sitting with her mother in a small shop not far from the station to eat.It turns out that they didn't go far, but I ran like a mad cow all over the whole town.

My tears were about to flow, but I pretended not to see it and walked past the corner with my head down.

Back at the station again, I took out the little deer and I excitedly said to it: "Little deer, little deer, did you see that? That's your master! She brought you to me!" The little deer also seemed very excited to see Looking at me, do you want to stretch out your hands to hug me?Well, you're welcome.

From a distance, I sat on a small stool and watched her.She carefully blows on the steaming rice noodles.An indescribable sourness welled up in my heart. The person who sat across from her was me. I liked the way she ate, and I also liked that she didn't like the way I watched her eat.

She and her mother didn't come directly to the station after breakfast, they went into a drug store, presumably the pig was sick again.

The proprietress of that pharmacy and my mother are very good friends, so I wanted to pretend to pass by and take a look at Yao's face.

I boldly walked into the pharmacy, and Mama Yao was waiting at the counter to pay.Yao was standing behind her mother, and the proprietress saw me very excitedly and said, "Isn't this Wen Sheng? When did you come back?" Yao turned her head, and I finally met her eyes again after a year and a half. It seems to be intertwined at the end of time. Although I have no expression on my face, my heart is already in a mess.She was still so unreachable, and still had that alluring face.Simple underwear and simple black sneakers, but it is still difficult to hide her longing beauty.In the midst of hesitation, I seem to have gray hair.

When I came back to my senses, she was no longer in the store.

I chased them out and found them sitting on low benches at the station. I stopped, not knowing what to do.I want to call her name, but I'm afraid that her mother will know about us, what should I do!I think, if her mother asks, she will say that she is her classmate, what are you afraid of!

OK, let's do it!

So I walked behind her and called out softly: "Yao Qian——".

Unexpectedly, she took a deep breath as if she was frightened, maybe she thought that I would not dare to come to her because my mother was by her side.All she could do was scream.

Although I could clearly hear her rapid breathing, she still lowered her head and did not respond to me.Yao's mother patted her on the back and asked her, "What's wrong? Why didn't your classmate call you out?" Yao Qian's head was shaking like a rattle.She didn't want to answer me, Yao's mother probably saw something, so I had no choice but to sit down beside her.is it my fault?I keep asking myself.

We are only half a meter apart, but there is a bottomless river between us.We have been reduced to two parallel lines that will never intersect. She fell into her colorful world, and I fell into my world of mortals.We have crossed lightly, but we are no longer each other's rare guests.

Half an hour later, the bus she was waiting for came from afar.She got in the car. To ease the embarrassment, Mother Yao asked me where I was going before getting in the car. I vaguely said the name of another city.Mother Yao nodded and boarded the bus.

The moment the car started, Yao looked at me.The eyes were intertwined, the five emotions were mixed, and there was no expression on our faces.

The car moved away, out of my sight.

Back in this bustling city, I have no soul.There was a heavy rain that night, and the cold wind howled. I wanted to make the wind and rain bigger, and it would be better to blow the world down in one breath. I was smoking a cigarette in the strong wind with only my body left.I remembered that in a certain month of a certain year, I heard an old man call bitter melon half-cooked melon, and asked why. The answer was: half-cooked melon. Before half a lifetime, people felt it was bitter and difficult to swallow.After half a lifetime, people gradually realize its coolness and sweetness.Not because the taste has changed, but we have changed and feel differently about the taste.

The next morning, the sun drove away the dark clouds, and I thought—the rainy season will never come again.

Little deer, little deer.If you can sneak into her dream, please say sorry for me.

2016. 4, 4