The golden rules for getting along with popular male celebrities

"Golden Rules for Getting Along with Popular Actors" Ono Mitao

Copywriter:

Bai Xiqing is a popular actor, this is something the whole world knows.

Bai Xiqing is a popular and angry actor, and only Li Chongran knows about it.

This article is also known as: On how to live with mental retardation and keep yourself from being assimilated (not assimilated, non-existent)

[It's a short brainstorming essay, very short and very short]

Content label:

Search keywords: Protagonist: Li Chongran, Bai Xiqing┃Supporting role: ┃Others:

[1] A knife on the head of Ninja

As soon as Li Chongran stepped into the room, he smelled the smell of instant noodle soup, which unabashedly revealed the information that a mentally handicapped male star was still playing liver games at three o'clock in the morning.

Centered on the coffee table is the hardest-hit area. Snack packaging bags, Coca-Cola cans, tilted upside down, and hollowed out macadamia nut shells are scattered on the coffee table, as well as two barrels of delicious instant noodles, and KFC takeaway bags.

Li Chongran took a deep breath, resisting the urge to smash Bai Xiqing's computer, quickened his pace, stepped over the crumpled T-shirt on the ground, and pushed open the door. Bai Xiqing was lying on the bed with a pillow in his arms, one leg stretched out and the other curled up , the air conditioner only covered the buttocks, the bare back, fair skin and sexy butterfly bones could not even calm Li Chongran's anger.

Li Chongran lifted Bai Xiqing up from the bed like a chicken, pretending nothing happened, and even added a touch of tenderness in his tone against his will: "Get up."

Bai Xiqing slowly opened his eyes, looked at Li Chongran blankly, lowered his hands, said that it was too late and then quickly, and a second before Li Chongran couldn't say anything, Bai Xiqing had already smeared the pillow on Li Chongran's face.

Li Chongran threw away Bai Xiqing, covered his face and let out a howl. Bai Xiqing shrank back to his bed, wrapped himself in the air-conditioning quilt, and put on a defensive posture.

Li Chongran breathed a sigh of relief, advised himself not to fight against the mentally retarded, and then calmed down a little bit of inner anger, and said to Bai Xiqing, "Get up, there is still a notice to run."

Bai Xiqing, a popular fried chicken, perfunctorily released his first single, which dominated the charts for three weeks. The reality show he participated in was broadcast on Friday night. The word "Bai Xiqing" was trending on Weibo throughout the weekend and appeared on the big screen , are all silly and sweet bad movies that talk about love, but the box office is very touching. It is called "box office guarantee" and "salvation of bad movies".

Other celebrities are trying their best to hype up the trending searches, but Bai Xiqing doesn't need it. Anyway, he can be on the trending searches when he is photographed digging his nose, eating spicy strips, and wearing his socks backwards.The last trending search about him was "Bai Xiqing hiccups", probably hiccups in CCTV live interview, Bai Xiqing is No.1.At the scariest moment, the comments forwarded were all "cute", "hahaha cute die", "hahahahahahaha".

Relying on his good-looking face and no idol burden at all, Li Chongran can still poke the G-spot of fans so much. Li Chongran thought of the worst setting, probably, the fans' love and indulgence for Bai Xiqing can reach the level of "Bai Xiqing is cute even if he eats shit" "The point.

With great effort, Li Chongran pulled Bai Xiqing up from the bed, and got the "Bai Xiqing's Ai's Scratch" count and "Bai Xiqing's Ai's Roundabout Kick" triple hit.

While Bai Xiqing was brushing his teeth, Li Chongran went back to the living room to help him tidy up the living room. The fashion magazine on the sofa just turned to the page of Bai Xiqing's interview. It was a sample booklet delivered yesterday.Li Chongran picked up the magazine, and his eyes were attracted by the photo as the background. Bai Xiqing painted a slight smoky makeup, wearing a vacuum suit, with a bit of sexiness unique to the ascetic style, cropped trousers, slender ankles, The British-style leather shoes are playful.

Li Chongran suddenly felt relieved, it's only natural that Bai Xiqing is mentally retarded, he is so good-looking, and he has a high IQ?

The blank area of ​​the photo is the content of the interview. During the interview, Li Chongran was present throughout the interview, and Bai Xiqing was in a fancy way of silence. Li Chongran couldn't imagine that such an interview could write such a long interview draft. The post-editing editors really worked hard.

Li Chongran scanned the content of the interview at a glance, and slowly slowed down the reading speed.

……

NO.4

Q: Fans have always been concerned, does Xiaobai have a girlfriend?

A: No girlfriend.

Q: Wow!Then let me ask the female fans, what type of girl does Xiaobai like?

A: Haibara Ai.

Q: Hmm... Is there no standard, for example, height, hairstyle, personality, etc.

A: Everyone is unique, and it is not a hand-made figure processed in a factory. Can there be a "standard"?You ask me which type of girl I like, if there is no type, it is that person, and I like it, such as Haibara Ai.

NO.5

Q: This question is also a fan question solicited, that is, "Xiaobai is a star, has he considered being with outsiders? What kind of way does Xiaobai expect to get along with his partner?"

A: Celebrity is also a profession. There should be no discrimination between professions, right?Two people like each other, get along very happily together, just be together.The way I look forward to getting along with my partner well... I hope she will indulge me to sleep in and play games all night when I don't have an announcement.

……

Li Chongran let out a chuckle, just as Bai Xiqing came out of the room, washed his face and combed his hair, and had just begun to look like a popular fried chicken, Li Chongran grinned unconsciously, thinking that Bai Xiqing in front of him was a little cute .

Li Chongran opened his hand, and Bai Xiqing approached him and tucked into his arms, rubbing against him coquettishly, but gnashing his teeth and cursing: "Li Chongran, you bastard who suffered a thousand knives, you don't want to fly with me I was hanged and beaten all night yesterday."

Tch——Murder is illegal, murder is illegal, murder is life-threatening, and mentally handicapped is not worth it.

【2】Out of sight, out of mind

"So, you ate two barrels of Hewei, a popular KFC set meal, drank the Coke in it, and opened two cans of soda from the refrigerator?" Li Chongran couldn't believe it, and asked Bai Xiqing who was sitting on the side playing a mobile game.

Bai Xiqing added casually: "There is also a bag of macadamia nuts, a bag of potato chips, and a bag of Langweixian."

Li Chongran rolled his eyes, he could eat no pigs.

After Bai Xiqing finished the daily tasks, he quit the game and locked the screen. Li Chongran was a little surprised and asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

Bai Xiqing was a little embarrassed: "Well... Yesterday, when you went back to your parents, you couldn't take me to fly, so... I'll find someone else to take me to fly."

Li Chongran smiled slightly. His possessiveness was not so strong that Bai Xiqing was jealous when he played games with others, but seeing Bai Xiqing's frank and lenient appearance, Li Chongran was in awe. Since he sincerely asked for criticism, then he Just be merciful and judge.Li Chongran put down Erlang's legs, looked at Bai Xiqing seriously, and asked, "So, who are you looking for?"

Bai Xiqing hesitated to speak, took a deep breath, swiped open the phone screen, opened Weibo, clicked on the hot search list, and handed the phone to Li Chongran.

Li Chongran glanced at the screen, yo, it’s on the hot search again: #白希清洗比口#, #白希清干他#, #白希清默夜游戏#, #白希清我狂痴了自己吃#

"I bite myself when I'm crazy" is a very popular game anchor. Recently, a battle royale game became popular. Bai Xiqing was addicted to it. He forced Li Chongran to eat chicken with him every day. He didn't even eat Li Chongran's chicken. Li Chongran fell into depression for a while , and even suspect that Bai Xiqing has been with him for so many years, it must be because he can easily control every game he is addicted to.

This is basically a real hammer, if it wasn't for "I'll bite myself when I get crazy" who couldn't bring Bai Xi Qingfei yesterday, maybe he could really transfer his love to another in an instant.

After watching the screen recording of the live broadcast posted by the fans, "I bite myself when I go crazy", there is a person walking past Feixian with a "bxqsjdyhmn" on his head from the angle of view, and Bai Xiqing is excited in the next second Voice: "Crazy, fuck him! I'll go up and fuck him first! You cover me!"

Li Chongran sighed. This pile of English letters that seemed to be typed randomly are actually the acronym for "Bai Xiqing, the world's most beautiful boy". Coupled with his recognizable voice, this pot can't be shaken. Lost.

Li Chongran looked at Bai Xiqing, Bai Xiqing was a little guilty, he was like this when he was playing games, and when he was excited at home, he could take off his clothes and trousers and run naked for you to see, although Li Chongran also felt that this could not be called foul language, after all, Bai Xiqing would never know Exploding, "fuck him" is already a word he would use when he was extremely excited.

Li Chongran lowered his eyes to look at the phone screen again, and saw that Bai Xiqing was killed by the person ambush by the other party, "I bit myself when I became crazy" and was also killed afterward.

Li Chongran quit the broadcast, looked at the forwarded comments, and sure enough, although there was such a topic, the content was not scolding Bai Xiqing, but crazily arranging that Bai Xiqing could change his name to "I do it myself when I get mad", or "hahahaha I beg Xiaobai to let go of the madness, the madness has been cheated all night and is on the verge of leaving the group", and some people in the know reposted "Madness asked Xiaobai to withdraw from the group three times in a row from [-] o'clock, 'Aren't you sleepy', 'Aren't you sleeping yet', 'It's the last one', hahahaha Xiaobai is full of energy and fights (keng) to the end".

Looking at the comments, Li Chongran felt a little funny, but didn't show it.

Bai Xiqing saw that Li Chongran was flipping through the comments all the time, with no expression on his face, and felt a little guilty, so he flattered him in a low voice: "He doesn't play as well as you...really..."

Li Chongran felt a little happy in his heart, but he was still cold.