I still don't want to go to school today

Xu Zhibian had stood in front of the registration machine for quite a while.

Fu Luojia originally thought of going to sit and wait for him, but Xu Zhijian clasped his shoulder with one hand to prevent him from leaving.

Fu Luojia played with his fingers for a while, and heard Xu Zhibian ask: "Do you mind waiting here a little longer?"

He shook his head.Xu Zhibian finally stopped struggling, took the bill and dragged him away.

He glanced at the screen and vaguely saw that Xu Zhibian finally chose a female doctor, and the word "depression" in the specialty profile was quite prominent.

It was only when we got to the door of the consultation room that we realized that there was actually a queue. No wonder Xu Zhijian asked him if he could wait longer.

In the waiting area, someone was crying loudly.He noticed that Xu Zhibian's eyes stopped on those people, but his expression was still calm.

Xu Zhibian still didn't let go.Fu Luojia could only drag him to the newspaper column, and found a copy of Universal Music Appreciation with ease.

The fingers on the shoulders tightened. "You came before?"

He raised his head and slowly glanced at Xu Zhibian. "...Shouldn't I say something else?"

"Others? Like what?"

Pointing to the cover. "The Sarah Brightman Tour."

Xu Zhibian bowed his head, "This is a 13-year old magazine."

"...Is that so." He threw the books back.

"You're upset? Why, because I—"

"Should I still go and see her?" He seemed to be unaware of what he had interrupted, and his body trembled suddenly. "Is she also in this hospital?"

"I don't need it today. I want to let you go first," Xu Zhibian paused, "it's not so uncomfortable. I didn't tell you before I came, will you be angry because of this?"

He neither nodded nor shook his head. "You can actually say you told me, but I forgot when I went crazy."

"Don't be so—"

"Don't you think so? I'm here, isn't it because I'm crazy, I need to be tied up for treatment, wear a bracelet with a name on it, and a bondage suit—"

He was still thinking about how he could say so many words at once, when Xu Zhijian raised his arms around his head and pressed down, blocking his mouth with a shoulder.

"Shh."

"Just talk to the doctor, okay?"

……

"How old are you?"

"...Seventeen."

"You're still very young. At your age, it's easy... Well, how should I put it, you're stuck in a dead end."

Fu Luojia immediately became absent-minded.

"Do you think you have depression?"

"……do not know."

"I don't know? You—forget it, let me say it first, there are more people, and I don't have the time or ability to give you psychological counseling."

"……Um."

The doctor put down his pen and moved the swivel chair towards the table. "You should always come to the doctor because you think something is wrong with you. Tell me."

"..." He stared at a corner covered with cobwebs, and waited for ten seconds before saying, "Sometimes I feel sick."

"When do you feel sick? Regularly?"

"I don't know... probably."

"So you feel nauseated out of nowhere? How long has Xie Ying lasted? Is there anything else, such as emotional?"

"It hasn't been long. Also... sometimes irritable."

"How irritable? Does it affect your...study and life?"

"It seems there is."

The doctor let out a "tsk", and was silent for a moment before continuing: "You are in the third year of high school, right? You are under a lot of pressure from schoolwork, right?"

"Fortunately."

"Then have you seen a psychiatrist before, and you haven't taken any medicine before?"

Fu Luojia didn't answer anymore.

The doctor took a sip of water. "You have to learn to communicate. Many people have mental problems, often because they don't communicate with others and don't seek help from others. The usual unhappiness, irritability, and a little squeeze become a big problem. You I guess this situation is not very serious, there is no need to prescribe any medicine. Usually exercise more, pay attention to diet and rest, actively communicate with classmates, teachers and parents—"

As soon as he opened the door, he saw Xu Zhijian, and before he could ask Fu Luojia, he told him: "It's useless."

Xu Zhijian was stunned.

"how--"

"Come on. I'm hungry."

"Wait," Xu Zhibian pulled him back, "Did you tell the doctor—"

"I'm really hungry," he said.

Xu Zhibian looked at the door that was still closed, and suddenly stepped forward to push it open.

"Hi doctor."

He was pulled back to the consulting room by Xu Zhijian, and his ears suddenly started to rumble.

He vaguely heard Xu Zhijian say, "Hello, did he tell you just now that he has severe visual and auditory hallucinations, has self-harm behavior and has tried to commit suicide?"

He struggled. "I do not--"

He saw the doctor's face.The doctor seemed calm, his lips opened and closed at a steady frequency.

He didn't hear what the doctor said.Xu Zhibian continued: "There is another thing - I don't know the specific knowledge in this area, but I think it is necessary to explain - he has a family history of mental illness."

"Time? It hasn't been that long since it was so serious, but about... five years ago, he suffered an accident."

"It's probably...a change of personality, a change in the nature of memory confusion."

He staggered and leaned towards Xu Zhijian, who stretched out his hand and gave him a hug.

He didn't think of anything when he threw that punch.

It wasn't until he was pushed to the ground and saw the twisted and flickered light around the fluorescent lamp that he realized that tears were streaming down his face.

……

"Is my mother okay?"

"She's fine."

"That's... too bad."

"..."

……

For the first time, Fu Luojia threw away an ice cream that was still intact.

He looked at the broken cones in the trash can, leaned over and retched.

There was the sound of flushing in the bathroom.

Xu Zhijian walked over with his sleeves rolled up, carrying a glass of warm water, and stopped a step away from him.

"... uncomfortable?"

Fu Luojia started to cough dryly.

"Should...it will be fine soon. As long as you get used to it, these symptoms will disappear and there will be no pain." Xu Zhibian put the water on the table. "Want to watch a movie?"

He fell back on a pile of pillows.This hotel only has a movie screen and no TV. To watch movies, there is only a projection screen.

Another nature documentary.

Noisy penguins and snow dust.

The hotel should not have been booked on a temporary basis - it was only two streets away from the hospital, and it took Xu Zhijian even coaxing and dragging him here for half an hour.

"go back."

"Okay, I'll be back in a few days."

"Go back immediately."

"Okay, I'll go back after seeing Auntie."

"I can go alone."

"Good, you can't."

"You're—" he almost finished.

"...I'm sorry." Xu Zhibian lowered his eyes, "I just want you to get better. We are not hospitalized. We don't need to stay there."

"I never knew what to do ... Now I feel like, maybe it's overdue."

"Can I kiss you now?"

Fu Luojia showed no expression. "Perhaps psychosis is a symptom that is contagious."

"I guessed that you would too." Xu Zhibian still leaned over and touched the tip of his nose carefully. "So I procrastinated until now. Elle Valley is very close to here, want to go?"

Aile Valley is a very famous amusement park.Speaking of which, Fu Luojia has never been to a serious amusement park in his life.

"Huh?" Xu Zhibian urged.

The tip of the nose starts to itch.He pushed Xu Zhijian away, "I'll talk about it after reading this."

Penguins are still freezing in the cold wind.

It was too hot during the day, so they went to the night show, and the thrilling events were not open.From a long distance, you can see the huge Ferris wheel with lights embedded in the night, blending the darkness into the most timely five colors.

The ticket office was made to look like a cruise ship, and the queue lined up from the deck to the stern.The artificial lake next to it sent a night breeze with water vapor.

Fu Luojia was led to the deck by Xu Zhijian.

The team moved very slowly, and Fu Luojia was a little dizzy, so he found a place to squat next to him—of course it was within Xu Zhibian's sight.

Toddlers holding marshmallows played in front of him—they were always everywhere.

The spinning top hit his shoe, and the loud music that was playing stopped suddenly.

"Hey, You!"

"Pick up the top!"

He didn't move.

"Are you deaf? Can't you hear?"

The child ran over.His heels were also glowing, melting into various lights, forming a cloud of cloudy light.

——It's a bit dazzling.

The medicine he took seemed to have a little effect: he could clearly feel the soreness in his nasal cavity when the tears rolled on his face, which he had never experienced before.

Like a rotting insect corpse in the soil ushering in a spring of resurrection.

"Stay away from me," he said as the child bowed his head to pick up the top. "I'm a psychotic gay."