lark in

After get off work, Xu Xing drove Zhou Yu'an to a bar. Zhou Yu'an firmly remembered Zhong Fuchu's doctor's order and said, "I can't drink."

"It's okay, I have something else to drink." Xu Xing checked his mobile phone frequently, absent-mindedly entered the bar with his arms around Zhou Yu'an.

The two sat down at the bar, Xu Xing ordered a glass of orange juice for Zhou Yu'an, patted him on the shoulder and said, "I'll pick someone up, you wait for me here."

Zhou Yu'an said dissatisfied: "Didn't you say to bring me to relax, why are there other people?"

Xu Xing turned his face away with some guilt: "Wouldn't it be more lively if there were more people!" After speaking, he slipped out.

Zhou Yu'an had to sit alone on the bar counter, drinking the orange juice in the glass for a while. The environment of this bar is very good, and the music is also in line with his taste, but he felt some vague eyes on himself, A little uncomfortable.

Twenty minutes later, Xu Xing still hadn't come back, and the orange juice was finished. He was about to go out, when suddenly there was a glass of flamboyant cocktail in front of him, and he turned his head in a daze, and saw a man sitting next to him, it was actually Lu Yan .

"Why are you drinking alone here?" Lu Yan leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Do you know how many people are staring at you?"

Zhou Yu'an frowned, dodged to the other side, pushed the glass of cocktail back, and said coldly, "I'm leaving first."

He was just about to get up, but his shoulder was pressed down by Lu Yan's hand. Lu Yan shook the drink in the glass and said with a smile: "Yu'an, why do I feel that you are always avoiding me?"

Zhou Yu'an said dryly: "Yes, you are right."

Lu Yan sighed, and sadly said: "Actually, when I think of the time in the United States, I still can't help but miss it. Yu'an, I have always wanted to ask, you clearly confessed to me at that time, and I agreed, We haven't been together for a day, why do you suddenly go back on your word?"

Zhou Yu'an was a little dazed when he heard the words, he suddenly remembered that he and Zhong Fuchu had been together for no reason before they had been together for no reason.

"Can you tell me the reason? I really haven't figured it out." Lu Yan turned his head and stared at Zhou Yu'an with a regretful expression.

Zhou Yu'an came back to his senses, and felt that he should be given a reason, so he told him about the thing that he found in Lu Yan's mobile phone in the hotel, and he felt unbearable at that time, but now he doesn't mind it at all.

Lu Yan was startled, put his hands on his forehead and smiled helplessly, "So that's true, this is really a misunderstanding. At that time, there was an American gay who kept pestering me and often sent me harassing text messages, but I Never promised him, you ran away because of this?"

Zhou Yu'an didn't know the truth of this explanation, but he didn't care at all, and said indifferently: "It's all over, isn't it?"

"The past is over, so what about the present? Yu'an, do we still have new possibilities?" Lu Yan softened his tone, his eyes looked a little affectionate under the uneven light.

Zhou Yu'an heard the word "possible" and thought of Zhong Fuchu saying that they were absolutely impossible, his expression darkened, and he shook his head and said, "It's impossible, besides, I already have a boyfriend." Although he was unilaterally broken up, he still refused to admit it .

"Is it Zhong Fuchu?"

Zhou Yu'an was startled, opened his eyes wide and asked, "How do you know?"

Lu Yan chuckled and said, "You went to my grandfather's ward twice to look for him. I would be stupid if I didn't see it, but I can tell that he cares about you."

Zhou Yu'an lowered his eyes, he is not sure whether Zhong Fuchu still cares about him.

"But I have confirmed that he really likes men." Lu Yan said casually.

Zhou Yu'an was stunned, then turned to look at him, "What do you mean?"

Seeing Zhou Yuan's nervous eyes widen, Lu Yan thought it was interesting, and said slowly: "I was in the same high school as him, although he has a poor background, but after all, he has good grades and good looks, and there are quite a few girls who like him, you know The girls in our school are born either rich or noble, and he can cross the class by picking any one."

Zhou Yu'an interrupted: "He's not that kind of person."

A bit of displeasure flashed in Lu Yan's eyes, and he continued: "It's true that no one is interested in him, because he only has his brother in the orphanage in his eyes."

"Brother?" Zhou Yu'an remembered the "sick brother" Wu Haoyu said, and frowned unconsciously.

"Yeah, if I remember correctly, his name is Zhong Yuan. He looks weak and small. He studied in a public middle school near our school. He was often bullied by people in the school. It was your boyfriend who settled it. Once because of a fight, he was even bullied." The school issued a punishment."

Zhou Yu'an felt that the words "your boyfriend" came from Lu Yan's mouth, which was particularly harsh. He remembered Zhong Fuchu's school file he had seen before, and said, "What does this mean? It's normal for a brother to protect his brother."

"Zhong Yuan waits for your boyfriend at the gate of our school every day after school. I often see them. Your boyfriend will bring him some snacks, carry his schoolbag for him, and call him Yuanyuan. Later, Zhong Yuan got sick, so your boyfriend tried to find a way to raise money. Qian, but it’s a pity that he died.” Lu Yan took a sip of wine, glanced at Zhou Yu’an’s expression, and a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth.

Zhou Yu'an squeezed the empty cup tightly, raised the corner of his mouth and said, "What's wrong with the brothers in the orphanage taking care of each other? If I had an older brother, he would protect me like this."

"What you said makes sense, but the reason why your boyfriend chose to study medicine and went to thoracic surgery may also have something to do with Zhong Yuan's lung disease." Lu Yan said, suddenly leaning over, staring at Zhou Yu'an's face, Zhou Yu'an pushed away forcefully his face.

"I suddenly realized that you and that younger brother look quite alike, the eyes and dimples are so similar." Lu Yan sighed.

Seeing Zhou Yuan drooping his eyelashes and being silent, Lu Yan continued: "But you don't have to worry about it. After all, his younger brother has been dead for more than ten years. Even if there was something back then, his feelings for you will not be..."

Before he finished speaking, he was interrupted by Zhou Yu'an, a student who was always easy to get along with, put the cup heavily on the table, and said coldly: "Lu Yan, let me tell you, first, we have absolutely no chance. Two, I don't know what grievances you have with Fu Chu, but you don't want to provoke my relationship with him. "

Zhou Yu'an took out a wad of money from his wallet and threw it in front of Lu Yan, "Third, don't tell me about such clumsy tricks as substitutes, it's boring. This glass of wine is my treat, don't come to me in the future .”

Lu Yan's face was ashen, watching Zhou Yu'an leave without looking back.

Zhou Yu'an walked outside the bar and took a deep breath. In fact, he didn't say anything. Fourth, as long as Zhong Fuchu still likes him, no matter what the reason is.

"Why did you come out?" Xu Xing was about to go in to find Zhou Yu'an, when he saw him standing at the door in a daze, with something wrong in his expression, he approached and asked, "What's wrong? Someone inside is bullying you?"

Zhou Yu'an shook his head, and said in a low voice: "Someone said that he likes me because I look like a human being."

Xu Xing didn't understand, he wondered: "You don't look like a human, so you might be like a ghost."

Zhou Yu'an laughed all of a sudden, and the boredom in his heart dissipated a lot, and he asked instead: "Where is the person you are going to pick up?"

Xu Xing secretly whispered in Zhou Yu'an's ear: "He doesn't want to come to the bar, he went to a nearby restaurant first, brother, do me a favor, can you go back by yourself, I want to have a two-person world with him."

Zhou Yu'an laughed angrily: "The world between the two of you, is the world miserable for me?"

"I was wrong, I will definitely treat you to dinner in the future to make amends!" Xu Xing apologized sincerely.

The two laughed and joked for a while as in the past, Zhou Yu'an watched Xu Xing briskly walking towards the restaurant, then turned and left, the smile on his face was gone.

He was walking aimlessly on the street, thinking over and over again what Lu Yan said just now, but in fact he didn't fully believe it, Lu Yan's malicious intentions were too obvious, every word he said had to be discounted.

But he didn't doubt that he was similar to Zhong Yuan. He saw Zhong Yuan's posthumous photo in the window of Zhong Fuchu's bedroom, and he might not see much similarity in his own eyes, but it was the first time Zhong Muyuan saw him and called him "" source".

Zhong Fuchu may think that he is like a brother who passed away, and he took special care of him at the beginning, but he believes that it must be because of him that Zhong Fuchu fell in love with him later.

For him now, as long as Zhong Fuchu pays attention to him, he will be very happy.

He asked for nothing else.

The next day Zhou Yuan went to Hannan Hospital early, he bought a cup of hot coffee on the way, and bought a small box of cakes from the shop where Zhong Fuchu once bought cakes for him, like a high school student who tried his best to please his secret lover Students, happily went to the next class to give gifts all the way.

He hurried to the outpatient clinic to have a look, only to find that it was not Zhong Fuchu, but Zhao Xian who was attending the clinic.

Zhao Xian saw him at the door and smiled at him, Zhou Yu'an tried his best to say hello with a smile, but he couldn't, the expression on his face was uglier than crying.

The feeling of being full of expectations and suddenly being disappointed is a thousand times more uncomfortable than having no expectations at all.

He shuffled his feet and sat down on the chair in the first row of the waiting area, opened the exquisite cake box, lowered his head to eat the piece of soft cake, and ate it bite by bite, obviously the same as what Zhong Fuchu gave him. taste, but can not taste the slightest sweetness.

"It's a new director of thoracic surgery today."

"I checked the shift schedule earlier, and it should have been a young male doctor."

"It's better to change it. The director is always better at medical skills."

The mother and daughter's discussion on the side came to the ears, and Zhou Yu'an suddenly remembered that he was also sitting here, arguing with those patients who didn't trust Zhong Fuchu because of their age.

At that time, he was still in the hospital, chasing after Zhong Fuchu chirping every day. He didn't know what discouragement and sadness meant. He also sat here and leaned over to look into the door. The love and joy in his eyes couldn't be hidden. Zhong Fuchu would cover him with his white coat while he was asleep, take him to the cafeteria for dinner, and say he didn't mind the patient in bed 42 disturbing him...

He hated everything that made him hurt. The hospital was the place he hated the most, but later it became the place he wanted to go the most.

Memories obviously have no shape, but needlepoints emerge from nowhere, which makes people feel distressed.

"Next." The nurse's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Zhou Yu'an walked in, and Zhao Xian froze when he saw his reddish eyes, and asked, "What's wrong? Did you cry in pain?"

"Well, my chest hurts so much." Zhou Yu'an sat down on the chair, clutching his left chest, there was indeed a dull pain there.

"It can't be a recurrence. In this case, you go to take a CT first, and I will show you." Zhao Xian said, pneumothorax is indeed very easy to relapse, especially for a thin young man like Zhou Yu'an.

Zhou Yu'an nodded in agreement, and couldn't help asking before getting up to leave: "Isn't Dr. Zhong outpatient today?"

Zhao Xian laughed when he heard it, and joked: "So you came here for him? I'm so sorry. Dr. Zhong only asked me to take care of him, and I don't know what's wrong with him."

Zhou Yu'an's eyelashes trembled, he didn't ask any more questions, and walked out like a lead. He looked at the patients coming and going in a daze, and suddenly forgot what he was going to do. After thinking for a while, he remembered that Zhao Xian asked him to go. Take CT.

Zhao Xian looked at Zhou Yuan who came back with the film, and felt that there was something wrong with his expression, but he didn't ask any further questions. He watched the film for a while and said: "It's true that there is a recurrence, but it's not too serious. The contraction of the left lung has not reached 10%. There is no need for surgery, I will prescribe some medicine for you, you can drink it on time when you go back, you must take a good rest and reduce exercise during this period."

Zhou Yuan nodded in agreement in disbelief, went to prescribe the medicine, and carried the medicine back and forth on the first floor of the hospital, the security guard looked at him several times.

Do you want to go and see Zhong Fuchu quietly?But he didn't want to see himself.

Just take a look?But he didn't even want to see himself.

Obviously, he was so fearless before, but now he almost lacks the courage to go to the thoracic surgery office. He is afraid of hearing Zhong Fuchu's sarcastic remarks, afraid that his enthusiasm will be poured with cold water, and his expectations will be shattered again. erase.

But still miss him, miss him, miss him.

Finally he summoned up all his remaining courage and headed for the thoracic surgery office.

Zhao Xian called Zhong Fuchu during the rest of the outpatient clinic: "The patient before you came to see him, and there was indeed a relapse. I will take a picture and send it to you later."

At this time, Zhong Fuchu was in the office, thanked him, and asked after a pause, "How does he look?"

"How is it? Oh, it looks like I'm in a bad mood. I lost half of my three souls and six souls, and asked me why it wasn't you. Hey Xiao Zhong, I said why didn't you come to see it by yourself. You pushed me to the clinic even though you were fine. I really don't understand you young people."

"You have worked hard this time, and I will treat you to dinner next time."

"Really? That's really rare. Dr. Zhong from the Thoracic Surgery Department of Hannan Hospital actually wants to invite me to dinner. I have to say it to show off. If you need help in the future, you can come to me again!" Zhao Xian Some are flattered.

Zhong Fuchu hummed, hung up the phone, and not long after, Zhao Xian sent Zhou Yu'an's CT.

He lowered his head and looked at it carefully for a while, and it was indeed not a big problem, but Zhou Yu'an has always been a worry-free person, he frowned and thought for a while, found a piece of paper and wrote some precautions on it, and called out to Li Huiting.

"Doctor Zhong, what's the matter?" Li Huiting walked over.

"Call Zhou Yu'an and read this to him." Zhong Fuchu handed the note to Li Huiting.

Li Huiting took the note and stuck out her tongue, and said, "Why don't you tell him yourself, I don't want to be a sounding board anymore, he might think that I have ulterior motives for him." She felt more and more that Zhong Fuchu and Zhou Yu'an felt a little strange, but he didn't dare to ask his teacher.

"Do you have any?" Zhong Fuchu looked at her and asked with a frown.

Li Huiting was stunned for a moment before she realized it, she quickly shook her head and said, "No, no, Yu'an is rich and handsome, how could I have the nerve to have intentions!"

"Then call quickly."

Li Huiting sighed, and as soon as she took out her mobile phone, she saw someone poking her head at the door of the office.

"People are coming, I don't need to call!" She waved to Zhou Yu'an, intending to give him the note in her hand, but Zhong Fuchu's voice suddenly came from behind: "Follow me to check the ward."

Li Huiting was stunned, didn't she check it this morning?Why did she check again, but she never dared to disobey the teacher's words, so she had to follow Zhong Fuchu outside.

Zhou Yu'an saw Zhong Fuchu talking to Li Huiting inside, but couldn't hear what they were saying. He was about to go in when he saw Zhong Fuchu leading Li Huiting out.

His eyes lit up, he raised a big smile, and softly shouted: "Fuchu!"

Zhong Fuchu was still in the same white coat, but he didn't look at him, as if he was air, he walked past him, and Li Huiting followed behind and nodded to him.

Zhou Yu'an's smile froze on his face, he stood there helplessly, his body seemed to lose consciousness, he watched Zhong Fuchu's back gradually go away, but for some reason, his vision was suddenly blurred like a glass window after rain.

He had to raise his head and blinked desperately.

Li Huiting followed Zhong Fuchu in the corridor, and whispered: "Why are you ignoring him? Since you don't want to talk to him, why stay in the office? He will definitely come to you after the review, after all, he has been so clingy you."

She couldn't figure out what Zhong Fuchu was thinking, if he really wanted to hide from Zhou Yu'an, the hospital is so big, there are enough places for him to hide.

Zhong Fuchu ignored her, she sighed softly, and said, "I think Yu'an was about to cry just now." She couldn't help but feel distressed when she saw that look like she was about to cry.

Zhong Fuchu's footsteps paused, at that moment she thought he would turn back, but he still didn't look back, and even accelerated his pace.

Li Huiting didn't talk anymore, but she suddenly heard footsteps from far to near coming from behind, getting faster and louder, like drums beating on the boiling of people's hearts. She stopped and looked back, but it was Zhou Yuan.

She glanced at Zhong Fuchu again, he had already stopped, but did not turn around.

She put away the strange guesses in her heart and left quietly. Fortunately, there was no one else in the corridor. She didn't know what happened to them, but hoped they could have a good talk.

Zhou Yu'an ran behind Zhong Fuchu, but he didn't dare to go any further. He would stand one meter behind him, as if standing on the shore of a raging torrent, looking at the hazy figure on the other side, and spent a lot of time It took all the strength to ask:

"Are you planning to ignore me in the future?" He heard his voice trembling, like a sinner waiting for Ling Chi.

"Yes." Zhong Fuchu answered him without hesitation, his back was ruthless.

Zhou Yu'an never expected that Zhong Fuchu would answer so simply, the word "yes" suddenly pierced his heart like a sharp knife, and was pulled out before it hurt.

He suddenly remembered the first night they were together, Zhong Fuchu stood at the door to pick him up and go to sleep together, he said coquettishly that if he ignored him once, he would like him less, and now he ignored himself so much Once again, but there is no way I like it a little bit less.

"But I still like you very much, what should I do? What should I do?" He opened his eyes blankly, choked up and asked Zhong Fuchu, like a child who had finished daydreaming and woke up to find that everything was fake, Crying and asking adults what to do when they wake up from the dream?

Zhong Fuchu turned around slowly, and Zhou Yuan's red eyes fell into them. He tried his best to tear his gaze away from those tearful eyes, his throat rolled violently, and he tried his best to use a steady voice:

"You'll meet a lot of people, and you'll find someone you like, who likes you, who could be anyone, but it can't be me."

Zhou Yu'an couldn't see the person in front of him clearly at all, he shook his head, trying to blink away a few tears, the liquid slid down from his cheeks with scalding heat, and his vision gradually became clear.

He exhausted all his strength to lift his foot and took a step towards Zhong Fuchu, his fingers were clenched so hard that he was about to lose blood, he raised his head and asked in a very soft voice:

"Are you going to find someone who you like and who also likes you?"

"Yes."

Still without hesitation, so heartless that there is no room for it.

Zhou Yu'an couldn't help closing his eyes, his throat felt so hot that he couldn't speak anymore, like a moth flapping its wings in the flames, he squeezed out the last few words from his throat: "Then what about me?"

what about me?

Zhong Fuchu trembled violently, the three words rumbled like thunder, and at that moment his head exploded, his cochlea roared, time went backwards, and there was no other sound in the world.

Twenty years ago, he asked the question again and again: What about me?

The only answer to him was endless darkness, and he and he went to a different life from then on.

But now when he heard Zhou Yuan ask the same three words, he couldn't breathe for a moment, his fingers were trembling and he could hardly hold them, and he tried his best to carve them into his palm.

There is no half of the absurdity of making people, and there is no success in calming down the hatred. He only feels that his sin is so serious that his heart will be smashed and dissected.

It was the only star in his world, small and shining.

But now that star is looking at him with the same despair and reluctance, asking him the same desperate question, what about me?

Between them is the blood relationship that is bound by nature, the lost time of 20 years, the countless love and hate, and the fate gap that can never be crossed.

He wanted to raise his hand to wipe away the tears on his face, but he couldn't lift it up, like a drowning man trying to grab driftwood, but in the end it was in vain.

He wanted to say that you are the most important part of my life, but the remaining rationality blocked his throat and he couldn't speak.

"I see."

Zhou Yu'an didn't wait for the answer, he lowered his head slowly, his tense body instantly relaxed, only the sharp pain in his chest continued, he raised his hand to wipe away his tears, turned and left.