Light Snow to Beginning of Spring GL

This may be a very good start, Bai Linyu's mood became a little relaxed, she took a taxi back to the community, passed by the supermarket to buy some fresh ingredients, since everything has returned to calm, then she should have gone to the place she longed for. long life.

In the past, she was pampered and might not recognize the names of the ingredients in the vegetable market. However, the situation changed. She learned to snap up discounted products in foreign supermarkets, bargain with vendors in a small town fish market, and learn to live in harmony with the different lives in the past. It's just that I still can't let go of the pride that I have cultivated since childhood.

It was getting late, and she hurried home with the ingredients. After opening the door, the room was dim and dark. Bai Linyu frowned slightly, and reached out to touch the light switch by the door. When the room became bright, she put down the things in her hands and In the hallway, after changing her slippers, she realized that she had been walking for a day, and He Xueyan had never left the balcony.

Leaning back on the armchair with the book at hand, He Xueyan fell asleep in a daze under the thin blanket.

Bai Linyu felt some pity, walked to her side, reached out to touch her face, leaned over and kissed her forehead, He Xueyan's appearance changed.In the many years since she left, she has grown from that lonely little girl to a thin older young woman, the vigor and vigor in her eyes has faded, and the corners of her mouth still have a faint look of bitterness.

She somewhat regretted that she had left her and made her so depressed by the painful reality to despair, but if the reality went back again, she still didn't want Xueyan to see her downcast appearance.

The pride in his heart would never allow himself to make mistakes in front of Xueyan.

Even if Xueyan could accompany her to suffer, that feeling of powerlessness would drive her crazy.

Maybe this is the best ending, when I return to my homeland and become famous, Xueyan finally returns to my embrace, and I still have a lifetime to take care of her and make up for the pain she has suffered.

"Xueyan, don't fall asleep here, be careful of getting sick." She woke her up in a low voice, and put her palm on her forehead, for fear that she would be blown by the wind.

He Xueyan opened his eyes in a daze, saw her face, was in a daze for a moment, then pushed her palm away as if unwilling to communicate, closed the corners of his mouth tightly, and guarded a high line of defense in his heart, even if he was as familiar as her, The two sides are still unwilling to take a step beyond the thunder pool.

Bai Linyu withdrew her hand in a panic, and subconsciously said tentatively, "It's me, I'm back."

He Xueyan still only had avoidance and guard in his eyes, curled up on the sofa like a hurt animal suffering from stress disorder, pitiful and full of helplessness.

"After a while, you'll get better." Bai Linyu's eager anticipation, those swollen hearts ready to fly high like a hydrogen balloon, were still a little discouraged.The relationship between He Xueyan and her has never been like this. She can ignore the outside world, but at that time, she still needs herself.

Just like a butterfly needs flowers and a child needs parents, I am willing to be her support.

Now, she finally left her again, and all she got was an empty shell.

Bai Linyu sighed, looked at her tenderly, and stopped when his fingers were about to touch her, pretending to caress her face and said: "Everything is restored, we have won freedom, Xueyan, we grew up Now. Parents are no longer an obstacle, you and I have the ability to live very well. There is a flat river in front of you, and we can go wherever we want to go."

He Xueyan frowned slightly, her heart was hollow, and she seemed to be pregnant with some thoughts, she turned her head to the side as if she was not interested in her proposal.

Bai Linyu couldn't arouse the enterprising spirit of a self-closed person, and she looked at her for a while, and finally admitted failure and said: "That's fine, you think it's good, we'll be together like this." After a pause, he smiled and said: "I'll cook for you. I bought a lot of vegetables."

Even an empty shell is better than years of empty time.

The moment she turned around, she was full of caring for the child, and was going to make her her favorite food.Unexpectedly, her slightly hoarse voice still rang in her ears.

Like a bass on a violin.

What He Xueyan reveals is a kind of anxiety about the world and life. She is always anxious in anxiety, anxious about every phone call from her father's illness, anxious about her mother's indifference, anxious about every criticism from her sister, and anxious about the relationship between her colleagues. The intrigue between them, worrying about whether the work at hand cannot be completed.

As for the source of anxiety, He Xueyan raised her head, pursed her lips, looked at the person in front of her and said, "Lin Yu, I think you misunderstood..."

"What's the matter?" Bai Linyu turned around, still happy that she was finally willing to speak, she always believed that they still had a future, as long as she managed herself well.

What she always believed was that He Xueyan couldn't grow up, He Xueyan couldn't face this complicated world, she always needed her, and when she needed He Xueyan, He Xueyan would come.

Like destiny.

"I didn't promise to be with you, I'm just boarding here temporarily." He Xueyan replied lightly, her long hair was slightly poured against her thin face, she only said that she was tired of worrying about everything around her, it wasn't that Said, did not tire of her.

Bai Linyu took a slow breath, stood in front of her, and said in a low voice, "It doesn't matter, I am also very pleased that you are here."

He Xueyan nodded, lowered her eyes, sat on the sofa and said, "I know you have an autograph, so you can go."

"I've already pushed, and Yan Fei also promised not to disturb us. She has reduced her activities outside the city, and would like to bless you and me." Bai Linyu explained to her.

"This has nothing to do with her." He Xueyan opened her mouth. Even when she was in the worst situation, she still had a hidden power in her words, and she said lightly: "I've been thinking about it for a day, and I want to go out for a walk .”

Bai Linyu pondered her words, smiled and said, "I'll accompany you downstairs, you should also take a look around."

He Xueyan got up from the sofa and said in a low voice, "That's not what I meant."

"Where are you going?" Bai Linyu finally realized that she didn't just plan to go downstairs for a stroll.

"I don't know." He Xueyan replied, looking out of the window, she has been restrained for too long, maybe when she went to live a life alone, no one disturbed her, and she no longer obeyed the rules. "I just want to go somewhere by myself."

"Can I accompany you?" Bai Linyu almost pleaded, grabbing her hand.

He Xueyan dodged and gave her an explanation: "You have always longed for success, and now it is close at hand, and you can get it. You wrote a life that I have expected countless times in the past, and when you helped you revise the manuscript, I felt very sad .”

"Xueyan, I can make up for what we missed. Wherever you want to go, I can take you right now." Bai Linyu said.

He Xueyan looked at her with a haggard face, with pain in her eyes, and said, "Lin Yu, you don't understand."

"what happened?"

"None of us can help anyone." He Xueyan moved his throat and said frankly: "I thought you could help me, but I thought about it for a day, and when I sat here and recalled my whole life, I realized that we No one really can help anyone."

"Xueyan, I can help you. It's not that no one understands you." She made a gesture of goodwill and stopped in front of her, showing a gentle smile like when she was a teenager, but the smile looked a little distorted because of nervousness: " I know that you can't live alone, you can't cope with the people and things outside, you will be tortured by those people very painfully. Xueyan, you come to me, and I will protect you. "

This is very much like a temptation.

He Xueyan admitted that she curled up in the face of the waves, the darkness of the coast made her fall into fear, she would never be able to reach some kind of reconciliation with this world, she endured long enough, and He Xueming had already broken the last one The line of defense, she was careful and worked hard to maintain it.

He Xueyan looked at the face she loved, stubborn as a young man, and replied: "Lin Yu, it was because I believed in you that I refused to grow up in those days. During the first few years of waiting for your return , I firmly believe that the difficulties are temporary, and you will come back to save me."

"I'm back." Bai Linyu felt a kind of torture, pointed at himself and said, "I'm here now."

He Xueyan's eyes were red, she wanted to cry and laugh at the same time, and said calmly, "But you can't save me."

Bai Linyu really didn't understand, so she grabbed her arm, pulled her into her arms with some strength, and hugged her hard: "You still like me, I know, you have never lost me in your heart."

He Xueyan frowned, shook her head in her arms, and tried her best to piece together the words she wanted her to understand. She spent the whole day beside the bed thinking about her failures, her shortcomings, the meaning of her life in the past ten years, and her smile Some bitterly said: "Lin Yu, maybe it's because I love you that I can't let you be my father."

Bai Linyu hugged her with one arm, and stroked her face with the other, feeling joy in her heart for her acknowledgment of this matter, her eyes sparkled, and she was speechless.

He Xueyan felt extremely uncomfortable, the hole in her heart seemed to be leaking all the time, and she tried her best to say: "I can selfishly let you be my wall, let you give up everything like my father for my mother, and surround me, just because of my poor depression syndrome, because I am the kind of neuropathy that others say is bad, and I will struggle for a month or two, unable to eat or sleep."

"I'm willing to be that wall." Bai Linyu said.

"It's not whether you are willing or not, it's because you can't do it." He Xueyan replied lightly, her eyes were sore, and she was about to cry: "You also tried hard to protect me. I have lived a life where my feet didn't touch the ground with your help. But when the waves When you came, you chose to leave, and at that moment, the harm to me was more than a thousand times more painful than the sum of the harm you protected me from before."

These words were like a spear, piercing the softest part of the two people's hearts.

Bai Linyu's words got stuck in her throat.

He Xueyan also knew her very well, pushed her away and said, "You and I, as well as other people in this world, are in this kind of waves. You are swimming with me on your back, and you are destined to not be able to swim very far." Paused After a while, he said the last words: "I want to go alone."

"I'm going alone."

When He Xueyan got up from her arms, Bai Linyu panicked, and reached out to fish her into his arms, not wanting to let her swim away. His eyes were begging, and he whispered many words of love in her ears.

"You can't go." Bai Linyu finally understood for a moment.

All along, it was never He Xueyan who was afraid of He Xueyan growing up. All along, it was only her who lived in the past and hoped to return to the past.