I'm dying

27

In the evening, Dr. Chen sneaked into my ward, why did he say that, because he looked sneaky, not at all as confident as usual rounds.

He sat by my bed, looked at me who was looking straight at him, and asked me why I wasn't asleep.

I said I will wait for you.

He looked a little surprised, you know I'm coming?

I shook my head, I don't know, if you come, I'll count as waiting, if you don't come, I'll sleep.

He put on a speechless expression, and when facing me, he looked at me with this speechless expression 80.00% of the time.

I grinned at him.

He recovered his grim expression and said, your smile is so ugly.

I said you don't have to choose, you have to look even if it's ugly.

He took out a small red flower from his pocket, put it in my palm, and said, this is your reward today.

I looked at Xiaohonghua and said to him, can you satisfy my wish?

He asked me what my wish was.

I said that I am actually a good-for-nothing person, but there is one thing that is not, and guess what?

he asked what.

I said nothing but good.

He looked at me with unspeakable eyes

I said confidently, why?Any questions?

He paused and said no.

I went on to say, look, I can't bring my virgin body to see my dad, how embarrassing it is.

He said your wish is this?

I nodded and said yes.

He touched my bald head and said that I will wait for you.

I knocked off his hand and said that if I get better, can I still use you?

I thought about it for a while, and I was a little annoyed, and said angrily, we are old acquaintances, why don't you even satisfy me with this little request?

28

I met Dr. Chen for the first time a year ago.

At that time, I had just arrived in Chengdu, and excitedly ran to a well-known gay bar, thinking that with my stunning looks, I would have to take a Tiancai to bed tonight.

And Dr. Chen, who was drinking alone at the table, became my goal that night.

I walked up to him and chatted with him, and he seemed interested in me, so we hugged and went to the hotel not long after.In the hotel room, I burned my body and took off all my clothes. I was about to take off Dr. Chen’s shirt to see if he had abdominal muscles, but he got up to answer the phone and left me alone in the hotel gone.

I was so angry and hated that I tore his face ten thousand times in my heart, so that when I saw him again, I immediately recognized this rotten dish who ran away.

29

In the end, Dr. Chen still didn't agree to fulfill my wish. I think he is my nemesis, and his mission in this world is to let me die in a virgin body.

The hatred from a year ago flooded my heart again, and I decided to ignore him for a week.

30

I don’t know if Dr. Chen found out about my plan of ignoring him for a week. When I ignored him, he also ignored me, which made me feel very unfulfilled.

Just when I was considering whether to practice it for another week, I was sent to the emergency room again.

The rescue should have been quite strenuous this time. I lay in the emergency room for a long, long time. When I thought I would never wake up again, I woke up.

Dr. Chen was still the first person I saw when I opened my eyes.

He asked me countless times, how do you feel?

I wanted to answer him, but I couldn't speak, I could only wink at him.

He said to me in a rare gentle tone to sleep a little longer, I looked at him and closed my eyes obediently.

31

When I woke up again, Ms. Han was leaning against the bed and watching a TV series. I don’t know what was going on in the TV series. A group of women were crying and crying, which made me have a headache.

I asked Ms. Han if I could turn that thing off.

After I finished speaking, I was frightened by the throat that my dog ​​had chewed, my God, did such an ugly sound come from my mouth?

Ms. Han was also obviously taken aback, throwing her mobile phone on the ground.

She approached my face with concern and asked me if I was thirsty and if I wanted to drink water.

I nodded.

After drinking a large glass of water, my voice finally recovered a bit and sounded less like a drake.

Ms. Han went to see Dr. Chen while I was drinking water, and she was going to ask me if I could eat now.I originally wanted to stop her, because even if I could eat now, I couldn't eat anything, and there was no part of my body that didn't hurt.But seeing Ms. Han's excited look, I swallowed what I wanted to say and let her go.

32

When Ms. Han came back, Dr. Chen followed behind her.

I haven't forgotten my plan of ignoring him, I turned my head away and pretended I didn't see him.

Dr. Chen looked down at me with his pocket in his pocket, what's wrong?Still angry?

I wanted to say who was angry, but I wasn't angry, but I thought I couldn't talk to him now, so I pursed my lips and said nothing.

Dr. Chen smiled, and I turned my head to look at him, confirming that the happy laughter just now came from him.

I stared blankly at him and asked him, did you just laugh?

Dr. Chen raised his eyebrows, aren't you not talking to me?

I didn't care about his provocation, and said to him very seriously, you don't look as good when you smile, so don't laugh in the future.

33

In the evening, Dr. Chen came to the ward on time. He put the little red flower beside my bed and asked me, do you know the flower language of the little red flower?

I looked at the little red flower, which was made up of five red petals without even a single green leaf, and asked him inexplicably, does the little red flower have a flower language?

He said yes.

I asked what.

He said it was life.

I said you fooled me.

He said no, it was true.

Well, seeing how serious he is, I tentatively believe him.

He bent down, pointed my eyebrows with his fingers, and said to me, I give you my life, and you will get better soon.

His tone was so sincere that I believed what he said at that moment.

34

Gradually, I couldn't get out of the hospital bed, because besides bone pain, various edema and congestion began to appear on my body, one piece after another, not only painful but also ugly.

What was even more unlucky was that two days ago when I got out of bed to pour a glass of water for a drink, I accidentally fell, and the broken piece of glass strained my thigh. The wound was not too big, so I didn't take it seriously, but Chen The doctor saw it, but his face was serious, and he was ready to help me treat the wound.

Later I understood why he was so serious, because my body couldn't heal the wound anymore. Not only would a small wound not heal, but it also needed debridement.

At first I didn't know what debridement was, but when Dr. Chen told me, I agreed without hesitation.Until the moment of debridement, I almost fell off the bed in pain.I yelled uncontrollably, and after a few yells, I felt ashamed and angry again. The appearance of being neither human nor ghost was so ugly, I tried to bite my arm, trying to block the embarrassing yelling back.

Dr. Chen found out my intention, and he stretched out his arm for me to bite. I was in so much pain that I couldn't make sense, so I bit it without thinking.

After the debridement was over, I let go with sweat profusely, and saw a circle of neat tooth marks on Dr. Chen's arm, which was bloodshot.I stretched out my hand to touch it, and Dr. Chen's arm trembled slightly.

I burst into tears uncontrollably. This was not the first time I cried, but it was the first time Dr. Chen saw me cry. He was obviously taken aback by me.

He hugged me gently, patted my back, and whispered to me, it's over, it's all right.

I buried my face in his shoulder, thinking why am I not dead yet?

35

When Dr. Chen gave me the little red flower at night, I refused, and I said I don't want it, you can take it back.

He asked me why.

I said I don't want life.

He looked at me and said nothing.

I said you don't give me life, I won't get better.

He said to me very seriously, word by word, you will be fine.

I said, if you falsely report your illness like this and replace it with other patients, you will have been reported a long time ago.But I am kind-hearted, so I don't care about you.

He patted my head and repeated, you'll be fine.

I sighed and accepted the little red flower.

Well, I will trust you again.I told him so.

36

But fate obviously didn't believe Dr. Chen's words.

On the day that Dr. Chen was off, I was pushed into the emergency room.In the darkness, I heard the nurse anxiously saying that Dr. Chen couldn't get through on the phone, so I hurried to call the director.

I left my body and floated in mid-air, watching everything in the emergency room from a bird's-eye view.

That haggard sick man lying on the operating table is me.It was the first time I saw myself from this perspective, and I was still without a heartbeat, and I was really not used to it.

Looking at the director and nurse who were sighing, I really wanted to pat them on the shoulder and tell them not to be so discouraged. In fact, I am very content to live until now.And I'm finally going to another world, I'm going to enjoy happiness, what a wonderful thing this is.

But it's a pity that Dr. Chen is not here today, so I couldn't see him for the last time.But it's fine if he didn't come, I'm too ugly now, it's not good for him to see, otherwise what will I do if I look back like this in the future.

The director took off his gloves and walked out of the operating room. After a few seconds, there was a mournful cry outside. I wanted to float out to see my poor Ms. Han, but for some reason, I couldn’t get out of the operating table, and would be bounced back as soon as I approached the door. .

Gradually, my body began to become transparent, and I realized that I was going to leave, but unfortunately I couldn't comfort Ms. Han before I left, telling her not to cry, her crying was too ugly.

I looked down at myself disappearing bit by bit, and sighed.Although I don't know if I can sigh in my current form, that's what it means anyway.This life is not very good, there are more unhappy times than happy ones, I hope I can be happier in my next life.