sigh youthful glitz

the night after saying goodbye to him

I wrote him my first and last letter

In the letter, I said to him, "If I have an afterlife, I will still be alone for the rest of my life, because the person I love doesn't love me." Although my soul is covered with bruises, and I always feel that my heart is cut by a knife in my daily life, but I Or take these as a personal secret and hide it deep in your heart.

And now, I tell him my only secret by letter.I don't ask him to have the same thoughts as me, I just want him to remember me forever...

After posting the letter, I fell ill. I couldn’t tell what made me feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to hide in the room and cover the thick curtains. I was afraid of seeing the sunrise or the sunset. Wrap yourself in a quilt day and night.From head to toe, it becomes the shape of a silkworm chrysalis, as if waiting for rebirth.

A week later, I stepped on the train to my hometown

When I got home, my mother looked at my haggard face in surprise.I said I was homesick.She said it would stay a few days longer.I said never leave again.

During that period of time, I repeatedly walked on the road he took me by bike every day, as well as the school's basketball court, sitting for a whole day.These places, this city, are all about him.

A city, a person.

All the memories related to him emerged in my mind, which made me panic but also feel at ease...

I like the self who loves him like never before.I have lived in the shadow my parents created for me since I was a child.I have low self-esteem, which I did not want to admit when I was a student.I hate the world, I hate people, and living in the public eye is hard work.If you don't laugh, someone will call you arrogant.If you don't speak, you will be called a strange guy.

But his appearance has changed me, I regard him as a kind of hope.Because of him, I also feel fearless in this world that I am tired of.

And now that he is leaving, my love and my hope will all disappear...

Until the day he left, he never replied to the letter I wrote to him. How would he view my feelings for him?It might be disgusting to think about it.

I stood outside the fence on the runway at the airport and watched his plane take off.

He was literally like a bird that flew across the sky as far as I could see and never came back.

At this moment, my heart was empty and there were no tears to shed.

At night, I sat alone on the basketball court, took out the clothes that he had washed and returned, and that I carefully treasured, and wore them on my body.

It was as if time went back to the first time we met that year.

I saw the boy I loved so much again.He is a light in my world. When I pass by, my originally dark world will become bright.But when the lights went out, I would return to darkness for the rest of my miserable life.

I no longer have the courage to go back to the dark world, so I can only choose to leave and go to a world where there is no more surprise, no worry, no expectation, no pain and no joy.

Thinking of these, I finally felt relieved.He took out the knife that had been prepared a long time ago from his pocket and cut it on his left wrist. The bright red blood gushed out instantly, and the scorching bright liquid penetrated between his fingers and fell straight to the ground, splashing the blood. Very dazzling red...

I fell to the ground, in a trance, I saw him coming to me, he was still the same, still the same smile, he wiped the tears on my face for me, and then took my hand to smile under the morning light Golden light, walking in a world like a dream...

No one knows my secret, I died here just to be closer to him in memory...

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