Just give birth to pickles

【ONE】

Don't come near, don't talk, don't smile.

Talking will only embarrass me, my mouth is like a slaughterhouse with sharp knives, if I say one more thing, I'm afraid I will die.My blood pressure has risen, and my whole head is like being cooked in a pressure cooker. It is so hot that it is about to explode. The sound of my heart beating makes my eardrums vibrate. Can't this person on the other side hear it?

He was still talking, talking non-stop, and his eyes fell on my face.I felt that if he didn't leave, I might pick up a decent object and smash it directly on his head.

The first thing he said to me seemed to be: "I heard, you can see ghosts?"

What does that have to do with him?Really, if he's not going to sneer at me or dump the trash on me, then I'm off.

"They don't believe you, but I do."

It turned out that I was just a suspense lover...

I walked past him without saying a word, turned into an old road with few people, stepped on the gravel, and finally calmed down.But today, a woman choosing vegetables sat in front of a house, her head was bowed, and the hem of her gray-brown skirt was drooping on the ground.The moment I saw her, I immediately turned my head, leaning against the wall and looking at the cracks in the wall, I was so scared that I had no energy left.

I can't go to school anymore, I can't even step outside the house.

My social phobia has gotten to an unbelievable level.I don't want to see people, I don't want their eyes to fall on me, and I don't want them to talk to me, which makes me feel that I am being hacked into pieces.

But I have to go to school because I can't tell my parents what I think.

"Can't you walk?" A person stopped in front of me, I raised my head, and saw that face again.My teeth chattered, and I suddenly felt the urge to urinate.

"My name is Ye Qinyu, from Class 19, Grade [-]."

Stop talking to me, please.I couldn't bear it, so I pushed him hard and continued walking, feeling my legs were numb.But he still quietly followed me, keeping pace with me. In this world, there is no other kind of footsteps that would make me feel more tortured than this.Until I walked to the door of the house, he stopped and said to me: "I will come to you tomorrow."

【TWO】

The side effects of this lie are finally starting to eat me up.I can't see ghosts, and I don't even believe that there are ghosts in this world. In the early days of rejecting communication with people, I used this method to stay away from people.I greeted ghosts that didn't exist in the classroom, and I told the others how they were bloody.

That's the world I've seen, or at least visualized.

But now I've been approached by a ghost lover who must be curious to know how many ghosts there are in our small town.He made friends with me because he wanted me to describe these scenes to him.For example, the old man who is missing half of his head in the candy store and has been trying to put his eyeballs into the candy jar, or the ghost who likes to stick to people's backs on the night shift of the bus.

But none of this exists.

"Wash your hands and eat."

I looked up to see my mother standing at the table in her ruffled apron.

"I don't want to go to school anymore." This is the first sentence I have said to my parents since the beginning of school in September. I avoid her gaze, staring at the steaming soup and the greasy iron spoon lying in it , saying, "I'm not going to go to school anymore."

I went into my house and locked three locks.I want to find a job that doesn't have much communication with people. Maybe it's a cemetery on the outskirts of the city that has just been repaired and not many people are buried in it, or maybe it's going to carry goods on the pier. Of course, this means that I have to go to a job first. A city with a dock, I hope no one will talk to me on the train.

I've saved some money, I'm always saving and it makes me feel safe.

The knock on the door means communication. I tried my best to ignore the sound, put the radio on my ear, and listened to the sizzle of electricity.I think if I go to a strange place, as long as I point to my throat and shake my head, they will look at me knowingly and apologetically.Nobody knows my name, they might have a nickname for me, and it's probably dumb.

marvelous.With such fantasies, I finally fell asleep.

【THREE】

The next day, evening.

"Son, someone is looking for you. You don't want to see us, can you meet your classmates?" Her voice was mixed with forbearance. It was the voice I couldn't refuse, and I didn't want to make her sad at all.

"The group homework is about to be handed in, only your part hasn't been given to me yet." The group leader froze her face and stood up straight, "Hurry up and give it to me, I still have to make a summary."

I didn't close the door, went back to the room and dug out the homework, and when I handed it to her, my hands shook badly, which made me feel embarrassed.

"You didn't come to school today." The inexplicable ghost lover walked around the row of bicycles at the door with his messy hair, and walked straight towards me, passing by the group leader who walked away with a straight face. He said, "I have been waiting for you at the school gate for a long time, and the takoyaki I brought you is cold."

I was really hungry, so he pushed against the door again and sat down on the threshold. I looked back and saw my mother's expectant eyes.I took it and handed him five dollars. I chewed slowly and watched him make paper with the five dollars. His back was painful like a pinprick, ups and downs, and his standing posture was already stiff. .

He suddenly grabbed my palm and pulled me down to sit next to him.I was still in shock, and the pinprick sensation in my back rose to the back of my head along with the sultry heat.I cautiously looked towards him, watching the creases of his brown trousers at the hip, but still didn't dare to look at his face, I was afraid that he was also looking at me at the moment.

"You don't have to answer when I'm talking to you. I know you don't like to talk, so don't be nervous." His voice was full of breath and bass, "My grandma often told me ghost stories when she was alive. She was a serious old lady. In awe of everything. That's why I've always been interested in these things, so I wanted to come and talk to you."

After finishing eating, he took the plastic bag from my hand and handed me a paper-made swan, the feather color unique to five yuan.I observed it quietly.He said, "I like you very much."

He comes every day.

He talked less and less, we sat together, at a fixed location, at a fixed time, the sky was getting darker and earlier, the moon's light seemed to be dry, and it was difficult to penetrate the smog.

Do you know how long this went on?I know, 26 days.During these 26 days, I took a lot of medicine, which made me dizzy, lethargic, often with acid stomach, and the desire to vomit.His arrival became the best tranquilizer since I no longer felt needle pricks in my back and the urge to urinate.Beautiful things are always addictive.Beautiful things have always been dwarfed by others.

Nobody finds it fun to spend a few hours a day with someone who doesn't talk, and it's rare to be obsessed with something that's neither fun nor rewarding.And I think I know what he wants in return.

That is, on the night of the twenty-seventh day, at a quarter past eight, when he came, I stood up and walked towards him.I pointed to the stone bench and stone table in the flower garden in front of the building and said to him: "There is a family sitting there, the daughter's head is placed in the center, and her mother is combing her hair."

"Really?" He also looked over there, obviously seeing nothing, there was nothing there.But there was a smile on his face, and he seemed very interested in it.

"There are often wriggling intestines and the like on the ground." I said again.

He moved his position slightly, stood shoulder to shoulder with me, and smiled even more: "This is the first time you have talked to me." I couldn't be more happy, and I knew that this decision was right.I don't have a pair of eyes that can see hell, I'm not special, and I have no advantages.But I can make up stories for you, make up what you like, make up what you are interested in.

My mom was convinced that I would be better off with the next pill than I was with the last, so that by analogy I would be cured.She said: "Look, you said good night to me last night." She pushed my dad with her hand, a little proud.

I feel guilty and want to be normal. "I think I can go to school." Socializing still synonymous with getting into a snake's nest, but if I can go to school, my parents will be happy, and I will get to see him more.

Class 19, Grade [-], during lunch break, I stood at the door of his classroom, waiting for him to come out.

"Stop by and see you." I handed him the water in my hand, and he looked at the building opposite.Yes, my classroom is in the opposite building, and it is impossible to drop by.Being pierced felt like being burned. When I was suffering, he slowly approached me, bowed his head, and kissed my face.

I don't believe in any story with a happy ending, never have, because it's false.Happiness is a derivative of sadness, and happiness is an accessory of life.Lies are greedy snakes, they dare to swallow anything when they are hungry.When I went to his house, I stood under the stairs and told him that I saw his grandmother: "Your grandmother told you that she misses you very much."

He stood on the stairs, stopped, and said to me: "Thank you for telling me this." He smiled like a prelude to crying, and the drum in my heart was like a declaration of war before the fire.

【FOUR】

"The school issued a temporary notice saying that classes will not be allowed. The school gates were locked that day, and there were all policemen..." "The one who jumped from the top floor of Building C, the blood can't be washed away with water." "Why?" "It is said that……"

Zhao Yue jumped off the building, and there are different reasons for it. For a high school student, the news of his death is more fear than grief, and discussion is more important than concern.Zhao Yue is not in our class, I don't know her, but my classmates learned about her in every aspect during the discussion, and even went into detail that she was wearing a new dress and a red butterfly hairpin that day, she didn't look like she was going to commit suicide look...

"Zhang You, someone is looking for you."

I looked through the back door, and there was a girl standing there timidly.

"I'm Zhao Yue's friend." She cried just after finishing the first sentence.

She repeatedly asked me if Zhao Yue's soul was still in school.Everyone around looked at it, it was very quiet.Her eyelids were red and swollen, and her body trembled slightly.I understand very well that when she came to me, there was only one answer she wanted, and she wanted to say goodbye to her for the last time.I stood by the half-height fence in the corridor, pointed to the place where others described the fall, and said, "She's still there."

"Really?" I was obviously the one who asked me on her own initiative, but I still held a skeptical attitude.

"A beautiful butterfly hairpin." I tried my best to comfort her with a gentle tone, "If you have anything to say, go and talk to her, she can hear you."

So everyone knew I was a liar.

In the afternoon, the head teacher brought back news that Zhao Yue had been rescued and her classmates were going to visit her.I caused her friend to talk to the air in full view, and I became a dark and dirty person who fooled other people's feelings.

These are not important, what is important is that he will also know about it.The wriggling intestines on the ground, the woman sitting on the stone bench holding her head and combing her hair, the kid on the swing waiting for someone to push her, and the half of her head protruding from the sewer are all fake.

all fake.

I sat in the classroom, listening to the whispers that even the teacher couldn't suppress, and slowly leaned my forehead on the table.In the third year of high school, the books on the table were thick enough to give me the sense of security I needed.After class was over, someone patted me on the shoulder very lightly, probably not to beat me up.

"You know everything?" I looked back at him, and he looked at me. I should say something, or take the initiative to admit my mistake, "I'm lying to you."

"I always knew you couldn't see ghosts. The scenes you described didn't really exist."

My mood is very complicated, I don't know what to do, I can only nod.

"However, at least you can see me." He said, "That's enough." He walked straight to me, his body vaguely hidden in the desk.He stretched out his hand, walked through the high pile of books, held my hanging left hand, lowered his head and kissed me.

He is the only ghost I can see.

The author has something to say:

Happy birthday to sister 2015/11/14

They are all old girls, take good care of yourself and nourish your stomach.

And "Gentle Crash" has been coded on the hard disk, and the full text will be posted after modification