Do not overread comprehension

[I] had a nightmare.

He obviously just wanted to take advantage of the night and the effect of the rejuvenating medicine hadn't passed, so he could easily catch up on sleep. Why are he trapped in this nightmare now?

[I] looked around, this is the room in [I]'s memory.

It was my home when I was five years old.

At that time, the family was already very poor, and the family of three lived in one house. Fortunately, my father had been avoiding those debtors and dared not go home. Otherwise, when [I] grew up day by day, I would grow up Big girl, the three of us are not suitable to live in such a house anymore.

[I] felt like I had grown up a bit.

[I] touched the cracked gray-white wall, and the wall was covered with dust, and my fingers were also stained.When I was a child, the screen of the big TV I bought at home was black, and it showed [me] as I am now.

[I] is already very tall now, about seven years old. [I] suddenly grew taller when I was five years old. By the time [I] graduated from elementary school at the age of 12, I was already 1.7 meters five.

【I】Turn around, there is a thin layer of quilt on the low plank bed, on the left side of the bed, there is a dressing table with a big round mirror nailed on it, on the table are all kinds of fashionable things at that time expensive cosmetics.

The figure of "Huohuo" mother suddenly appeared in front of the dressing table, and gradually became clear, "Come here, mother."

Another [I] emerges from [I]'s body, that [I] is even smaller, with a ignorant and innocent expression on his face, and a sincere and natural love for his mother.

[I] grew up again, I should be ten years old now.

Mom took out her own lipstick. She always prefers bright colors, and the lipstick is a rich red.

She made [me] pout, and then painted [my] lips with lipstick.

[My] skin was as pale as a paper doll, and a thick layer of red was applied to the mouth, showing a bit of ghostly air for no reason.

"Huohuo is such a beautiful child. He has grown up by finding the advantages of his parents." The mother raised her eyebrows and said happily, "Although he is still young, Huohuo is a good boy. In two years, he will be able to I went to the back alley to help with some odd jobs. Although it’s too early, it’s not good for the girl’s health, but the sooner you are, the rarer it is. Besides, even if you are pampered, you won’t live long, so just treat it as For the sake of mother, Huo Huo must grow up quickly and become more and more beautiful."

Another [I] still doesn’t know what kind of people are doing the work in the back alley, but every time my mother takes [me] there, the uncles and aunts who work inside will hug [me] kindly and give [me] I] delicious snacks, and even gave [me] some change.

[I] just think they are a group of kind people, so I nodded willingly, and replied: "Okay, Mom. Huo Huo will work hard to eat and grow up, and then earn a lot of money, give it all Mother flower."

Mom hugged [me], her body was trembling: "Good boy, good boy."

She couldn't stop trembling, and finally pushed [me] away hard

"No! You are not allowed to go!"

"Mom will take care of you! Mom will take care of you! Mommy's Huohuo will be safe and live a long life!"

[I] felt my body start to ache, a thin layer of calluses appeared on my hands, my heart was throbbing, and it became difficult to breathe.

This is what [I] looked like when I was 14 years old.

It has become like a school here.

This is [my] middle school.

[I] has a knife in my hand.

It was brought from home, a knife for peeling fruit.

Very sharp.

[I] once tried, on my own wrist, as long as I scratch lightly, the blood can't be stopped.

The eye injured by my father was still bleeding, [I] knew that it was not a fatal injury, but it would affect [my] vision in the future, and it was not a serious problem at all.

but

very painful

Everyone is saying [I] is very lucky, and everyone is persuading [I] to think about the relationship between father and daughter.

but

They don't come to comfort [me]

Don’t come to ask if [my] wound hurts

Don't come to appease [me] who is frightened by my father's ferocious appearance, and doesn't understand my heart

Do [I] have to live as they say?

【I】want to resist

And what [I] have to do now is the first step of resistance

[I] want to resist

Those classmates who look down on [me] because of [my] family’s poverty, slander [my] classmates who are prostitutes because of [my] looks are too gorgeous, and those who have lost the character of teachers, wantonly bully / humiliate / 【my teacher

There is also the father who deceived [me], hurt [me], and kept venting/venting on [me], causing [me] to ruin one dream after another mother

there are many, many people

They are all targets that [I] want to resist

no one will protect 【me】

[My] previous wish was to be a clean person, an obedient person, and a beloved person

Now [I] want to be a rebel

The 14-year-old [I] struggled out of [My] body, [I] bared/exposed sharp fangs, and walked towards the hiding place of my classmates.

They cried and begged [me], hoping that [me] would forgive them

Have you let [me] go?

[I] have grown to 20 years old now

Some fuzzy spots of light appeared not far away, it seems [I] is about to wake up

[My] body grew rapidly, and finally, before waking up, [I] grew to be 23 years old.

I opened my eyes, Osamu Dazai's hand was still on my shoulder.

I sat up from the quilt, and the faint sense of anxiety that had always surrounded me before gradually receded, and my brain began to function in my usual way of thinking.

I smiled and looked at him: "Have I slept for a long time?"

"Sister, you've been asleep for a long time." He acted coquettishly, "I was so scared, I thought you were going to fall asleep like this."

I patted his head lovingly: "No, sister won't die before you die. Trust me."

It was getting late, Osamu Dazai finally got tired of crookedness, he quickly changed my outfit, put on Miss Medea's cloak,

The incubator jumped into my arms obediently, and Osamu Dazai pushed me to go out.

Rin hid behind the door of her room, looked at me vigilantly, and I said softly, "Rin, tomorrow, would you like to come and listen to my storytelling?"

Her pupils lit up, and she nodded vigorously: "Yeah!"

At the gate, the shopkeeper is standing there, he only comes out at night.

Not to eat people, but to see me come back safely.

I really worried them.

"Fireworks"

The shop owner looked at me and wanted to say something.

I just shook my head: "Please wait until I come back, Mr. Shopkeeper, I will think about it carefully."

He nodded: "I'll wait for you here."

I smiled, suppressed the moisture in the corners of my eyes, waved to him, and left with Osamu Dazai.