Dawn Redemption

It's been almost ten years, almost ten years, when he was at his lowest, he sent back the living expenses he sent again and again without reading the letter, and he almost couldn't even remember his face.

But seeing this man, the vague memory suddenly became clear again.

He remembered how he used to be, just like so many years ago, after he was bullied and returned home with dirty clothes, this man was always the first to rush to him, when he only had an indifferent expression , more sad than him, hugging him tightly in his arms.

The exact same outline overlaps, but now the face in front of him is older, and time has forcefully added more wrinkles and gray hair on his face, and the running and hard work of the past few years has also made his eyes not as good as they were back then. Young German workers are just as limpid.

In my impression, my father was not a tough person, and neither was I.

Finn gently put the cup on the table and stood up.In my memory, my father is so tall that he can lift himself above his head and easily carry himself on his shoulders, but now standing in front of him, he can already see his gray eyebrows and temples without raising his head.

For the first time, the track of the passage of time was so clear before his eyes.

"It's me." He said softly, "Dad, it's me."

His throat was dry for a while, and he just said a few simple words, as if he had exhausted all his strength.How strange this word was to him, and he couldn't remember when he would never call him dad again.From being happily riding on his shoulders at the very beginning, to later only coldly shaking off his extended hand, patting the dust and running away alone.

In the end, I couldn't bear it anymore, I pushed open the door and rushed out on that rainy day, never looking back.

He knew he was selfish, he knew he was naive, he knew he was a jerk.Father was the only one who would comfort him, but also the only one who was vented by him.And my father never beat or scolded himself, never even got angry.The more this is the case, the more I will feel that he is weak, and I will blame him for not being able to hold my head up in the whole family.

And now he doesn't have the courage either, he thinks he is unworthy, unworthy to go up and return the hug that he owed him for so long.

Eric's hand trembled a little, but he stretched it out stubbornly, and stroked Finn's hair.This time, he didn't dodge, didn't dodge.He saw that the pair of blue eyes in front of him were shining with water.

"You're back."

He spoke so naturally, as if all these years were just a moment.He had been waiting for the little boy who rushed out of the house angrily to turn around, and he knew that he would eventually turn around.

There was no violent outburst of emotion as imagined, and in the quiet room without any noise, everything was calm and so logical.

"Sit down." Eric said.His tone was a little hesitant. He no longer knew how to talk to Finn. He was no longer that thin boy with slender limbs, but in his own eyes, how could he grow up.

"Dad." Fein sat down and called softly again, "I've had a good life these past few years, don't worry."

Eric looked at his face, then his collar badge, epaulettes... He sighed: "It's too hard for you to work in that kind of place."

Finn was taken aback: "Do you know what I'm doing there?" "Of course I know." Eric looked at him, "Of course I know, and your mother and the others... But, your character makes me Don't you know? It will make you feel better if you do those things?"

"I can't help it." Fein lowered his head, "I really can't help it. Don't talk about it." "Okay." Father said immediately, he couldn't bear to see Fein's inner suffering, "Son..."

"Huh?" Finn quickly looked up at him.

"Why do you remember coming back?"

Fein seemed a little understated and said: "My chief and I happened to be on a business trip nearby... I thought it was relatively close to here, so I came to see you."

He tried his best to make himself look a little colder, and he was afraid that if his heart softened, it would be more difficult to let go: "It seems that you are doing well now. I will leave in a while, so I won't delay you for too long."

He lowered his eyes, no longer looked into his father's eyes, and didn't know what his expression was.All he knew was that his father's voice was trembling uncontrollably.

"Will you... come back later?"

"Not necessarily." Fein couldn't utter a strong denial, nor could he give a positive answer. He didn't know what his future would be. "Ask yourself, do you really need me in your current life? Do you really need me?" A new life, having me will only disrupt your rhythm. For me, it is also difficult to get used to a family."

Eric was speechless.Although cold and ruthless, what he said was true.

"If I have time in the future, I will come to see you." Finn couldn't put it down completely after all, and said softly, "I can't turn back, I can't be a filial son."

"No." Eric wrung his hands, "You will always be the best in my eyes. Have you...I mean, now, have you ever thought...would you want to take my last name?" He glanced at the stairs, and Finn also noticed at this time that the woman had been staying quietly on the second floor since she went up, without making any movement.Maybe her father had greeted her, or more likely she didn't want to get involved in their father-son conversation.

"Changing your name to Finn Frings? Although I'm sorry for your mother, but it's so chaotic outside now, I don't know if this surname will affect your work..."

"No." Finn refused so quickly that a hurt look appeared on Eric's face.

"I have almost solved the work problem, and it won't have much impact. But I had to suffer a lot to get rid of it. Now it's meaningless." Finn sneered, "This surname I would like to keep it, it allows me to remember what forced me to leave, what made me what I am today!" He suddenly couldn't control his emotions and his voice grew louder, but then stopped stand up.

He saw the sadness on his father's face and knew what he said would hurt him.But he still has to say, only now he can say it all, even if Noah is willing to listen, he will not understand.

"For so many years I worked so hard... risked so much, and didn't complain at all, because no one listened to me complaining, only me! Whenever I couldn't make it, I would tell myself that I couldn't turn back, I There is no way out.

"I'm sorry for you. I know that you are the person who worried about me the most. I know it must be hard to leave you suddenly. But they forced all of this!" He stretched out his trembling fingers because of his emotions and pointed at his ribs On the lower side, he stared straight at his father.

Of course Eric knew what it was like under the cover of his neat military uniform.

"I've grown up, and I know I was stupid and impulsive back then. I'm sorry. But do you think I'll forgive you for this old wound and this last name?" The more he talked, the more he felt that the resentment that had been smoldering in his heart for a long time was hard to control He didn't want to control it, "Is it just because she gave birth to me, no matter what kind of person she is or what she does, I have to be willing to thank her for the rest of my life?!"

"Fin..." Eric said slowly, with some weakness in his tone.He hated this kind of weakness back then, but now looking at his father who is no longer young, he can only feel sad.

But Eric continued: "You don't know, you don't know her."

"Why don't I understand?" Finn leaned forward and almost got up from the sofa, but this time Eric was faster than him, and his hands were firmly on Finn's shoulders, looking at his face. Eyes, hesitated for a moment as if not knowing where to start.

"Your mother... Yasmin... she has suffered a lot from the beginning..." Eric said in a voice that only the two of them could hear, "Did you always think it was I married your mother because of their family? Actually, I never wanted to tell you, and I don’t think it’s necessary to tell you. In fact, it was Yasmin who proposed it to me back then."

"Propose what?" Fein was taken aback, his eyes were filled with doubts besides surprise, "Is it love or...marriage?"

"It's all." Eric's voice was low, trying to suppress his emotions, "She helped me in almost the darkest time of my life, made me give up the idea of ​​suicide, and made another pot of gold. She is really a very, very beautiful and kind girl, and I did fall in love with her. But after knowing her background, I once wanted to leave her, give back everything she gave me and never see her again, I Knowing that I am not worthy of her, I am just a small worker. But she persisted, even if all her family members objected, she still persisted, and even said that she would not hesitate to leave that home just to be with me. "

Even though Eric paused after saying this, Fern stared and couldn't get in.His father's appearance is very handsome, and most of this has been inherited to him, but compared with Finn's exquisite and delicate appearance, his facial lines are tougher and more handsome. Imagine how many women you can charm when you are young.

Coupled with the comparison of the backgrounds of the two parties, Fein always thought that his father entered Yannick's family for the sake of material wealth, or that his mother took a fancy to him and adopted him directly, but never thought that it was actually like this Relationship.

"Since the day she married me, her family has been treating her badly. I know you have been getting angry with other people. In fact, your mother...she is the same. And she can't escape like you , she has to face this. Even if her family doesn't give her a good look, she has to smile and try to build a good relationship with them..."

"This can't be the reason why she treats me like that." After a short silence, Fein said firmly.

Eric's voice was a little choked up: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Finn...Sometimes we all feel too selfish, obviously all this is caused by the two of us, it's fine for the two of us to bear it, and you are still so young ...So simple...I know you hate her and don't want to call her mother at all, but she won't let me tell you this, besides, what's the use if you know it? "

"It's useless?" The corners of Fein's eyes twitched, and he couldn't tell what his mood was, but he felt all mixed together, "It's useless? Why don't you tell me because it's useless? What do you think of me?" "No, you Don't think so!" Eric was a little panicked in the face of his sudden agitation, and he frantically tried to appease him, "We also made mistakes... We just want you to grow up like ordinary children, and don't have to bear so much anymore. I originally planned to tell you when you grow up..."

"tell me what?"

After so many years of inner struggle, everything that I can't forget no matter where I am turns out to be a misunderstanding.So what is the hatred he has buried for many years?Like a farce, the trajectory of the rest of his life has been finalized in this way, even if he regrets it, he can't change it, and he can't look back.

Eric lowered his head and rubbed the corners of his eyes with the back of his hand: "Tell you...she has always loved you very much. After accidentally hurting you that day, when the doctor was in the room to help you with the medicine, she cried outside the door and almost stood I couldn't sleep well all night. But..." he took a deep breath before he had the strength to continue, "but... now she has... never been able to tell you in person..."

Suddenly chills came from all directions, and Finn felt that his whole body was slowly becoming cold starting from the tips of his fingers.

He didn't even see how Yasmin died.But what's the difference between being a member of the executor of this plan and killing one's own mother with one's own hands?

Once he was a victim, discriminated against, and left out.But before he knew it, he became a crueler and more terrifying perpetrator.

He hates this kind of self and wants to escape from such a self.But he also needs to live.

Finn stood up abruptly, seeing Eric's surprised eyes, he gently held his father's hand that slid down from his shoulder and stopped in mid-air at a loss.These hands were once so big in my eyes, I could only hold one or two fingers.

"Dad." Finn said, "I don't want to lie to you that I am very happy now, but since I have made a choice, I don't want to complain to you. And I am very lucky, it is very important to me to meet After I leave, I hope you don't worry."

He looked at the other side of the stairs, but there was still no movement: "That aunt is very good, you should have a very happy life together. It's time for me to go, there are still people waiting for me, take care."

Father was much calmer than he imagined.The parting this time was not as full of struggles and shouts as it was back then. Finn slowly let go of his hand, and Eric didn't grab it again, and his hands slowly dropped.

"Take care, Finn." Eric looked at him, "If you want to come back, you are always welcome..." "Thank you." Finn picked up his hat and put it on, knowing that he never would, I can no longer fit into the family.Just like the large scar on my body, even if it heals perfectly, it will still leave a scar, "Goodbye."

He opened the door, and the light flooded in, dragging a long shadow behind Finn.

"Goodbye." Eric didn't look at his back, but just stared down at the shadow.Finn turned his face away and sighed.

"That child... treat him better in the future. No matter what, don't let him join the army, just stay with you all the time.

"Goodbye, Dad."

The second goodbye was made up on behalf of myself back then.Although the mistakes made back then, there is no way to make up for it in my life.

He walked down the stairs and walked a long, long way without hearing the sound of the door closing, just like that rainy day, he didn't look back.