mortal death

"I thought I would die this winter, but recently I got a set of mouse-gray pinstriped hemp kimono, which is suitable for summer, so I'd better live until summer first." ——Osamu Dazai, "Later Years"

To be honest, if it weren't for him that day, I might have jumped off, and I would have no more worries and wander the world from now on.

However, I met him that day.

He looked at the desolate branches and said: "When spring comes, the tree that has just sprouted is considered beautiful."

I have never looked at those trees seriously, and now, even standing on the top of the building, they are tall.I imagined the appearance of the green shoot, and a little expectation suddenly appeared in my heart.

He added: "The chirping of cicadas in the shade of summer, the dancing of golden leaves in autumn, and the velvet lingering on winter branches. Have you ever seen them?"

I thought to myself, this man talks a lot.But at the same time there is the inevitable anticipation: "Is it really good looking?"

He turned his head and smiled brightly at me: "Of course."

I stared at him without saying a word, I felt my heart beating violently, but my face remained calm.

He stretched out his right hand and said to me, "Hello, Lin Haoran."

I hesitated for a moment, but I still stretched out my hand. The scorching temperature in his palm scalded me, and when I was about to retract, he had already held my hand.

I had no choice but to jump down from the stands and said to him, "Chen Gong."

But he didn't let go of my hand, and asked me again: "Successful? Is Zheng Chenggong?"

I broke away from his hand and said, "There's even one next to the words." In fact, I could guess that he would miss the name, and I didn't want to explain too much.

But I didn't expect him to know: "It's still an ancient surname. It must have existed in the Zhou Dynasty."

I didn't want to answer him, but instead asked: "Why are you talking so much? Your grandeur doesn't have any grandeur at all."

Lin Haoran looked at me with a smile: "Of course, I'm not Haoran's Haoran, but Haoyue's Hao, burning burning."

I didn't realize at that time that this name had been buried in my heart since then, stuck, unable to be pulled out or swallowed.Since then, his smile often appears in my mind when I suffer from insomnia and nausea late at night.

Lin Haoran, this is the first time I see him.

I should have had mild anxiety and mild depression since the third year of high school. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I was startled by the cold sweat all over my body.After going to university, this situation became more and more serious. It was insomnia every night, unknown tears, and inexplicable heart palpitations.

My university is Whale University, one of the top ten prestigious universities in the country.I thought entering this school would make it easy for me, but in order to enter this school, I have become sickly.

Here, I feel everyone's excellence all the time, and the indifference behind the excellence.

My major has the lowest admission score in the whole school, but our college is a well-known major in the whole country - there are many historical celebrities, but the employment rate is really not high.

As soon as we entered the freshman year, we were told that it would be very difficult to find a job in the future, so the students who changed their majors transferred without hesitation.

As for me, my grades and grades were the lowest in all departments, and I couldn't transfer my major even if I changed my major.

With this hopeless mood, I was depressed for a time, but it was not because of this that I wanted to jump off the building. The idea of ​​committing suicide was just caused by depression. Take a knife and stab your body a few times.

Well, there are still friends.

Huang Bai was the first one who took the initiative to talk to me.

Huang Bo's eyes are always drooping, he looks like he's not awake, his hair is messy, and his face is full of melancholy. I never thought that he would talk to me.

We sat at the same table in class, I don't like to get too close to others, Huang Bai just tapped on the computer in class, with a sad look on his face.

Later, when the teacher said to divide into groups, I didn’t realize it. Yes, five or six people form a group, and then choose topics and prepare presentations. This kind of heavy social interaction is very difficult for me. Yes, I still have some social skills Scary, it sucks, right?

Just when I didn't know what to do, Huang Bai turned his head, rubbed his messy "chicken coop", and said, "Let's make one first?" There was still a bored expression on his face. One round was: "What are you doing? I haven't done the pre for English class yet."

He muttered alone, I didn't have time to say no, or in fact, I wouldn't refuse people at all, Huang Bai didn't seem to care about my feelings, but under his social interaction, I successfully joined the group and completed Classroom tasks, from this point of view, I am still very grateful to him, although-he doesn't seem to care.

In short, Huang Bai and I have become "golden partners".Every pre, the two of us must be a group.

As for Huang Bai's secret, I only found out later.

"I didn't expect that Huang Bai looked so sexually frigid, and he was actually gay."

When I heard this sentence, I froze for a moment, that is, I continued to stare at the screen of my mobile phone. Today SEASON releases a song, I have to check the popularity and buy songs, and there are only 10 minutes left.

The girls went on to discuss: "Really? I finally saw something alive!"

"Is there anything unusual about this? It's normal, isn't it?"

"I don't think it's strange, I just lament that all good men are gay."

"Then tell me... Chen Gong, are they a couple?"

I was a little surprised to hear my name out of nowhere. Is there still a role for me in this show?

Just as I was about to continue listening, an indifferent male voice came: "No."

It is cork.I turned my head, Huang Bai was hanging on his schoolbag shoulder strap on his left shoulder, and he was carrying double milk tea in his right hand. He walked over with his eyes squinted, and sat right next to me. The girls didn't dare to speak, and I just watched him take out a cup Milk tea is placed in front of me.A little bit of matcha green tea.

"Remove the ice, normal sugar." Huang Bai said to me.

I was about to insert the straw. When I heard this, I nodded involuntarily. This is my habit. Subconsciously, I asked again: "Is it the pearl or the Bo/Ba?"

"Bad bead."

When the milk green filled the mouth, a sweet taste rushed directly to the taste buds and smeared on the tip of the tongue.

"Whether it is or not, I declare that this pair of CPs will be locked up by labor and management, and I will swallow the key." I turned to look at the girl with a round face and big eyes, like a girl in an anime. With a smile, I was a little baffled, turned my face, but couldn't remember the girl's name.

It's been almost two years, and I can't remember the names of my classmates. Maybe it has something to do with my illness, forgetfulness.Yes, I am sick.

Huang Bai took a big sip of the milk tea, and the milk tea went down half a cup at once. This is a bold way of drinking, and he probably only dared to drink it like this when his family opened a milk tea shop.

Huang Bai's cheeks moved up and down, and after chewing the pearls slowly, he asked me, "What's the girl's name?"

Oh, it turns out that I am not alone.

I shook my head, indicating that I don't know.

Huang Bai muttered: "The eyes are not bad."

I turned my head, it was 12:03!I quickly put down the milk tea, opened the software, and started brushing.

I searched my schoolbag and clothes pockets, and found that I didn't bring headphones.

Transfer the milk tea money to Huang Bai via WeChat, and ask him by the way: "Do you have headphones? Can you lend me?"

Huang Bai took the money, ripped off the bluetooth headset from his neck and threw it to me.He also said: "Sitting so close, you still have to send WeChat?"

I smiled at him, connected to bluetooth, and started playing SEASON's new song.

Huang Bai came over, took the earphone from my left ear, and asked, "What song is this?"

This is SEASON's new song, a rap.

"Depression."

After listening to it for a while, Huang Bai actually began to hum, and said, "It's quite nice."

I thought selfishly: Ah, my treasure is about to be discovered.

Huang Bai asked: "Who sang it?"

I do not want to answer.

Huang Bai only glanced at me, then took out his phone and searched.

"SEASON, a popular male god combination band. There is no fixed lead singer and musician, huh, what kind of band is that?"

I was a little dissatisfied and said, "What do you know?"

Huang Bai glanced at the headset threateningly, and I shut up again.

Huang Bai went on to say: "This Tang Jianmei looks quite cute."

cute?Isn't Meimei cool?Well, Mei Mei is really cute.I suddenly became vigilant, what does Huang Bai want to do?He wouldn't have taken a fancy to Meimei, would he?That won't work.Papa Fan was a little worried.

I quickly said, "Shut up. Stop talking."

Huang Bai gave me a strange look, and then commented on the SEASON team members. I endured it for a long time without speaking, and the atmosphere of listening to the song was gone.

Finally, when Huang Bo said "Huazhu and this Tang Jianmei still have a sense of CP", I angrily pulled out the earphones and fell on him.

He really is bent!

No, I thought again, how could Meimei be with Huazhu?Hanasuke is so ruthless.

However, Huang Bai did not show any discomfort, he even put on headphones and continued to listen.

I just realized it and immediately turned off the Bluetooth.

The girl at the back gave me that "I knew it" expression again.

I shook my head secretly: What eyes are not bad?It's almost blind, right?

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Whale University made it up. .

There is no meaning of mapping which school, this article is empty