mortal death

"I am neither sad enough to be a poet nor cold enough to be a philosopher. But I am sober enough to be a cripple." - Emil Michel Cioran, "Tears and Saints"

Later, the second time I met Lin Haoran was in a club I joined. In fact, I didn’t want to join the club, but the academy would give me extra points. Even though I am not very competitive, I still have a self-motivated heart.But then I also thought that joining the music association is actually related to my liking for music. After all, this is one of the few hobbies.

A year later, many people withdrew from the association, but I didn’t leave. Most of the people in this association don’t know how to play musical instruments. They only get together because they like to sing. Those who can play the piano are taken away by the school string band, and those who can sing join the choir , Those who have dreams and can sing and dance will go to the original music club.And our small community is just a weed in the cracks.However, our club is a hidden SEASON fan club.

I know a little bit of simple guitar, but because of star chasing, I learned it for SEASON, and I didn't practice it often afterwards.Since he was one of the few remaining old members, he took on the title of vice president, and had to be present when recruiting children.

I met Lin Haoran again during the promotion.

Since our club has few people and we don’t plan to recruit many people, we didn’t set up a stage. The president hung a sign around my neck. I refused in my heart, but I really don’t know how to refuse others, let alone girls.

The card reads "Siji Chunle Club, recruit people according to the situation."

It was already morning, and no one came over. The four of us (the president, two vice presidents, and a party secretary) were sitting on stools, rubbing against the umbrellas of other clubs, and playing with our mobile phones.

Ah, as I said earlier, it is impossible to recruit children like this.

It was noon, and I took off the sign to go to eat. A few of us threw our things on the stools and went to the canteen next to Xueer No. [-] to eat. When we returned, our stools were removed from the umbrellas and replaced by another club.

I just glanced at it, and went straight over to get our things. The president said, "From the original music club? We're in the territory of the bosses. Then let's slip."

I have no objection. Dealing with people has always been something I'm not good at, so I silently put away our billboards.I seemed to hear some small gossip from the side.

"Chen Gong?" I raised my head, and Lin Haoran's face without any haze was exposed in front of me. I nodded to him, and he seemed a bit restrained: "It's you."

I still nodded and packed our things silently.

The president poked me, and I came to my senses and said to Lin Haoran, "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was your place."

Lin Haoran was wearing a jersey, as if he came here just after playing, and I seemed to smell a little sweat. He quickly said: "Ah, it's okay, we're not here anyway. Do you still use it? I can lend it to you tomorrow morning." you."

Just when I wanted to refuse, I realized that I was not the president, so I turned my head to look at the president, and found that the president was already demented. I said, "Ask the president."

Lin Haoran looked at the president, and he didn't understand why the president's expression was so indescribable. Someone called Lin Haoran over there: "President! It's over!"

Oh, it turns out that he is the president of the original music club.I took the opportunity to knock on the president and said, "I'm asking you something."

The president finally realized: "Oh... ah? What did he ask?"

"He said that he can continue to lend us the place tomorrow morning."

After Lin Haoran finished explaining over there, he walked over again, and the president quickly said, "Thank you so much!"

Lin Haoran smiled and said, "It's okay, it's empty anyway."

I'm ready to go.When I was walking towards the dormitory with my mobile phone on my back, Lin Haoran suddenly asked me: "Are you leaving now?"

I thought to myself: Otherwise, stay and bask in the sun?

He seemed to understand that it was not the right time to ask this question, and said, "It just happened to be on the way, let's go together."

I thought to myself: How did you know you were on the way?Oh yes, the boys dorms are all together.

I still asked: "Isn't your club going to set up a stage? Can you do it if you leave?"

Lin Haoran picked up his schoolbag, turned his head and said to the people over there: "You guys watch first, I'll go back and take a shower."

bath?Not a bad excuse.

I had nothing to say while walking, and I was embarrassed to take out my mobile phone to play, so I could only look at the shadow of the tree cast on the ground, which was strange and bizarre.

Lin Haoran asked again: "Which building is your dormitory?"

I replied: "311."

Lin Haoran came to a sudden: "311...I belong to Building 302."

I said "oh", not knowing what to say.

Lin Haoran asked again: "I forgot to ask you last time, which courtyard are you from?"

I don't answer, I don't want to answer such a grave-digging behavior.

Lin Haoran didn't care, and said to himself, "I'm from the School of Management and the Department of Business Administration."

Me: "Oh." That's right, the School of Management should be regarded as the school's trump card school, a business school that has obtained international accreditation from AACSB① and EQUIS②.

Lin Haoran probably also felt a little embarrassed, probably never seen me so disrespectful.

I was just about to answer, when Lin Haoran started the next topic: "Didn't you sign up for the original music club last year? Why didn't you join?"

I was stunned. I signed up for the original music club last year. Not many people knew about it. How did he know?

So I asked, "How do you know I've been there?"

He said, "I was listening to you sing."

The heat on my face faded all of a sudden, I thought to myself that I should look very embarrassed, I didn’t understand anything at the time, rushed up with a passion, sang the song "Flying Far Away", and was eliminated without accident, Later, every time I think back to the day of the interview, I feel like a thorn in my heart, and I want to go back to that day and kill myself.

I reluctantly twitched the corner of my mouth: "If you don't sing well, you will be eliminated."

Lin Haoran looked a little surprised, and said in a low voice: "No wonder." Afraid that I might misunderstand, he continued: "Ah, I thought it was pretty good at the time, and I thought you had entered."

I was a little surprised and asked him, "Really?"

Lin Haoran said: "Isn't that right? After listening to your song that day, I knew that there is an original music club, so I joined this club. Otherwise, I should be practicing piano hard in the string orchestra now. Thank you very much La."

I felt that my breathing was a little unnatural, and I wanted to work hard to make myself breathe regularly so that I didn't look so excited. I said: "No... this is your own choice, and it has nothing to do with me. relation."

Lin Haoran just laughed and didn't speak, I felt a little out of breath.

The birds jumping around on the tree, the flowers blooming on the tree, the colorful suddenly turned into black and white, all the light and shadow turned into the simplest tone, the monotony is suffocating.

What kept turning in my mind was the phrase "thank you very much".

So, am I being thanked too?So, am I worthy of being thanked?So, did I ever have such a little value in this world?

All of a sudden, my nose was sore, and I said to him, "Thank you. I'll go first."

Lin Haoran seemed to want to say something, but I had already run away.

In the evening, Huang Bai sent me a message asking if I wanted milk tea.

I just felt indifferent in my stomach. Although I felt hungry, I didn't have any appetite, so I said I didn't want to drink.

Huang Bai always came back very late at night, he only said that he was working outside, and we didn't know what he was doing.

If I said no to drink, Huang Bai would naturally not ask again.

I only occasionally speculate that Huang Bai actually already has a girlfriend, oh, maybe a boyfriend.Sometimes his smile is like a fruit soaked in honey, sweet and greasy.

The class leader in the class group sent a message, saying what book he wanted to read, and posted the link in the group, and everyone who swiped the screen thanked him.

I hesitated for a long time, wondering if I should follow suit and post one. Although I felt that no one would pay attention to it, I felt that it was not good for me not to post it.

Finally, I typed the word "thank you" and sent it.

It was as if the pause button was pressed. After me, no one sent any more messages. My heart suddenly seemed to be grabbed and crushed.

Why no one posted it?Could it be that I posted it so everyone didn't post it?is it my fault

When I pressed and held my finger and wanted to withdraw, I found that 2 minutes had passed. I stared at the screen anxiously for a long time, but no one continued to post.

I'm starting to get a little restless.

Finally someone posted another one.

It is cork.

I breathed a sigh of relief and finally put down the phone.

Lying on the bed in the middle of the night, unable to fall asleep, I took out my phone and saw that it was already early in the morning. Thinking of going to set up the stage tomorrow morning, I kept forcing myself to fall asleep.

The darkness is like a net, constantly winding and tightening me.The more struggling, the more painful.

I kept trying to breathe, but the air I breathed became thinner and thinner.

When I opened my eyes, there was a faint light outside the window.

My face was cold, and I couldn't tell whether it was sweat or tears.

Can't sleep again.

Note: ① AACSB: The Association to Advance Collegiate Schools of Business (AACSB for short), jointly sponsored by the School of Management of world-renowned universities such as Harvard University, University of Chicago, and Northwestern University, was formally established in 1916. certification body.There are two types of educational certification: business certification (Business) and accounting certification (Accounting). MBA program certification is a branch of business certification. The strictness and high standard of AACSB International education accreditation system ranks first in the world and is recognized by the world.

②EQUIS: It is an international certification system established by the European Foundation for Management Development (EFMD) to evaluate the quality of higher management education institutions and promote educational progress in the form of certification.The certification was launched in 1997 and is the most stringent quality certification system in Europe.It takes the effectiveness of international management education as the certification standard.Since EFMD is committed to serving global management education as its concept, it does not focus EQUIS on any specific higher management education program, nor does it focus on MBA programs, but positions its basic work content on identifying various The similarities, differences and advantages of this approach to higher management education - including undergraduate and graduate programs - with the basic goal of improving the level of higher management education around the world.

(The above content is from Baidu Encyclopedia to prove that these two organizations are not fabricated by me.)