mortal death

"Introverted and affectionate, grasping too well, in the eyes of others, it is unfathomable indifference." -Tao Lixia "Handing You to Time"

During the meal, Huang Bai suddenly asked me: "Why do you feel a little different in the past few days?"

I stopped my chopsticks: "What's the difference?"

Huang Bai shook his head: "I can't say it, but I still want to have the sour smell of love? Yes! Are you in love?"

I smiled bitterly: "No."

Huang Bai looked at me suspiciously, and said, "That's right. If you're so cold, who would dare to tease you."

I only eat and don't talk much.

I secretly refute him in my heart, sometimes I just don't want to talk nonsense when I don't speak.

After I finished my homework, I found that it was already past twelve o'clock. I was so lazy, my spine was sore from being inactive for a long time, and everyone else was still struggling.

The so-called easy going to college is the most fake sentence I have ever heard.

Turning on the phone, as I expected, I saw the good night message from Lin Haoran. Even if I never responded to him, he would send a good night message every night. At first, I was a little funny, this kind of chasing girls Is the method suitable for me?

But then I had some expectations in my heart, because every night he would add a sentence to his good night, or a sentence from himself, or a famous person, he didn't know, I copied these sentences sentence by sentence, The luminous words are left on the paper stroke by stroke by my hand. Although the memory of the machine is higher than that of the human brain and paper, I always feel that in this way, some unknown emotions will be relieved.

Later, I thought, this kind of emotion is called liking.

What he sent me tonight is: I once stepped on the moon and came here, just because you were in the mountains.Good night.

I suddenly wanted to ask him, so I also asked: every time you send a WeChat message, do you really fall asleep?

After 1 minute, he replied: Didn't sleep, isn't this waiting for your reply?

Gan!The man obviously didn't say anything, but I felt my face burn.

I replied as if nothing had happened: I mean, how can contemporary college students go to bed so early.

Lin Haoran's tone was a little disappointed: I thought you would ask me why I waited when I knew you wouldn't answer.

I found it interesting and asked him: why?

Lin Haoran's answer is of course also confident: it is because I know you will answer, so I wait.

I was a little annoyed: that's how you know me?

"No, I don't know you, I just hope you do." After listening to the voice, I couldn't tell what kind of feeling I felt in my heart.

I put down my phone, knowing I couldn't continue talking to him.

It's not that I don't want to answer, it's that I can't answer. I know that if we continue the chat, I will really agree to him.Obviously both of us know, clearly know that the consequences of this kind of ambiguity may be unbearable for both of us.

I'm getting negative again.

That night, Lin Haoran sent me another WeChat message: You don't want to plant flowers, you say, I don't want to see it wither a little bit.Yes, you avoid all beginnings in order to avoid endings.

I always felt that I was revealing his accusations against me.

So I replied: Gu Cheng's "Avoid"?

"Yes, you're avoiding it." He seemed to enjoy speaking.

I was a little weak, and just about to put down my phone, I saw a very quick WeChat message from him: Eleven is coming soon, do you have any plans?

I thought to myself, it has nothing to do with you if you have a plan for the National Day.

But I still replied: library, dormitory, cafeteria.

While sending the message, I was thinking, the so-called collusion is nothing more than that, one is willing to fight and the other is willing to suffer.

Lin Haoran said: "Is this how you intend to celebrate the National Day?"

I said, "Otherwise?"

Huh?When can I talk to him?No, when did we start the video?

Lin Haoran's face was magnified in the screen in my hand, and I was a little anxious to find the earphones.

Lin Haoran brushed his hair in front of the camera, and said, "Why does this camera make me look so ugly?"

I took a closer look and suddenly found that Lin Haoran's eyes are very special. When I saw him for the first time, I only felt that his eyes were indifferent, deep and calm, like the water marks left after ink dries up, clear and calm .But it's different now, and now it looks like some kind of animal, and I even see a little cuteness in it.

Lin Haoran's eyebrows moved, and he suddenly covered the camera.

I was a little puzzled, and just about to ask him what he was doing, I heard the background sound——

"Hao Ran? Who are you chatting with? Is it your girlfriend?"

The phone didn't shake, I guess Lin Haoran turned the phone over and covered it on the table.

"No, no, don't talk nonsense."

"We won't listen to your sophistry. Show us."

Lin Haoran said, "No."

I felt a little unhappy, if the opposite was a girl, maybe he wouldn't be so anxious to hide it.

My hand rested on the red hang up button, but I heard a sentence unexpectedly.

After hanging up the phone, I thought about it for a long time and couldn't understand it.

I stood up and walked around, walked to the door of the toilet, looked in the mirror for a long time, but didn't see any flowers.

Huang Bai was quite happy: "What are you looking at? Take care of yourself in the mirror? Do you want me to break the mirror off for you?"

I looked in the mirror with some melancholy and said, "It's okay, I just think I may have misunderstood my appearance."

"what?"

Huang Bai said: "What's the misunderstanding? He is handsome and talented, and he is romantic and suave."

"Stop using idioms." It's kind of scary.

Once a girl who liked me said that my eyes were like deer when she confessed her love to me. I said that was impossible because they were all girls’ eyes.

What is that girl saying?She said, unlike girls, when you are not smiling, you are like the cold snow in Changbai Mountain, and when you smile, you are like the cold wind in Qinghai Lake.I said no, just treat me as a human being.

But I just heard Lin Haoran say to his roommate, he said: "I'm afraid it's too good-looking and you will steal it from me."

I feel a little happy in my heart, it must be happy to be told that I look good by someone I like.

In a daze, it seemed that he dreamed of Lin Haoran again.

I dreamed of him holding my hand.

I dreamed that he let go of my hand.

The accident started here, and I could clearly feel my hands and feet getting cold.

Until he let go of my hand and took away a girl beside me.

I walked in black water, getting deeper and deeper until the water was about to drown me.

I felt that I couldn't go any further. When I turned around, Lin Haoran held the girl's hand and looked at me.

I asked: "Why?"

Lin Haoran said blankly: "I just looked at your face at the beginning, and I thought you were very pitiful."

The water gradually surrounded me, with darkness all around, and cracks of light.

When I woke up, there were tears on my face again.

I took out my phone, it was only four o'clock.

After connecting to the Internet, several messages popped up at once, all from Lin Haoran:

Why did you hang up?

By the way, I want to ask you out on National Day!

Why don't you call me back?

If you don't answer me, I'll take it as your promise!

Ok!

Then I will come to you!

I:……

So what can I say?