fingertip quicksand

Nan Jiu actually hates this crowded environment, because she doesn't like physical contact very much, but even so, she can take the opportunity to stay in Bai Bai's arms, even if it is for a short time, she is very contented, because she likes This feeling, so I can endure this crowded environment, the so-called gains and losses, it is impossible for everything to be so perfect

"Xiaobai"

The person in the arms is calling softly

"Ok?"

"It's okay, just call your name"

Bai Bai chuckled lightly, and rubbed Nan Jiu's hair, causing the soft hair to become a little messy

After a long time, when I was waiting for the bus at the bus station again, several buses came, but Nan Jiu was reluctant to go up for some reason, and Bai Bai was a little annoyed at that time

"Didn't you say you wanted to sit?"

Nan Jiu knew that there was no point in procrastinating any longer, so she got into the car dejectedly. The car was empty, and there were only a few people sitting scattered around. Of course I am happy, whoever is willing to squeeze in the bus, of course the more empty the merrier, but Nan Jiu can't be happy

I found a seat and sat down side by side with Bai Bai. Nan Jiu sat in the inner row, and Bai Bai was on the outside. He seemed to have seen Nan Jiu's depression, so he asked

"what's wrong?"

Nan Jiu did not answer this question, but said

"Why is there not as many people this time as last time?"

"Last time, it happened to be the off-duty time period. Why, you are not happy about the lack of people."

Nan Jiu didn't deny it, but nodded honestly.

"That's a pity, it was a waste of time"

Bai Bai felt a little baffled, but then he thought about why she had been reluctant to get in the car before. In addition, the expressions after getting in the car seemed to understand a little bit, but they didn't seem to understand.

"Do you like to be crowded?"

She finally came to such a conclusion, but she was surprised, how could anyone like to be crowded?Nan Jiu didn't answer this question, but turned her gaze out of the window, staring at the flashing high-rise buildings, fascinated for a long time

It wasn't until some loud music sounded in the carriage that she pulled her gaze back. A middle-aged man in his 40s, dressed in a tatters, with a loudspeaker tied around his waist

The music came from there, the left leg was pounding and turning, it looked really pitiful, but Bai Bai saw through it at a glance, the left foot was obviously a fake, and he had seen a lot about the world, so he could tell the difference inferred

Of course, Bai Bai was not the only one who could tell the difference, and everyone else in the carriage could see it too. Everyone lowered their heads and went about their own business, turning a deaf ear to the man's approaching and begging. When they got to Bai Bai's side, Bai Bai was like everyone else, he didn't respond, but he didn't pay attention to Nan Jiu's reaction

Sure enough, she did another incomprehensible thing in this unnoticed gap. Nan Jiu passed Bai Bai with her hand and handed the banknotes in her hand to the man. The man's expression was first He paused, then smiled again

"Thank you, thank you, thank you"

Shouting thank you three times in a row, Bai Bai glanced sideways at Nan Jiu, and Nan Jiu waved his hand without knowing what to say, saying no thanks

After looking at Nan Jiu for a while, he was about to say something, but in the end he just sighed and didn't say anything

"what happened again?"

Nan Jiu knew that Bai Bai was not very happy.

"It's nothing, I just can't see you being stupid"

stupid?Although I didn't understand it, I liked what she said very much, so I laughed out loud.

"why are you laughing"

Nan Jiu suppressed a smile and shook her head

"Happy"

"happy what"

"Just... happy"

The so-called fifty times, in fact, only sat twice. After the two times, I didn't sit again. There was no chance, and there was no need.

In fact, Bai Bai has always stayed by Nan Jiu's side with a very vague identity, saying that he is a friend but not a friend, saying that he is a lover but not a lover

The relationship is always close and distant. When Nan Jiu approaches her, she does not avoid it, but afterward, Bai Bai will pull the step closer without any trace, one step closer and one step back, never tired of it

Nan Jiu occasionally thinks of these things after she calms down alone, always thinking in her heart

It would be nice if she was a boy, then, wouldn't she be so repulsive, wouldn't she retreat again and again like this?

Nan Jiu thought so at first, but it wasn't until the incident happened again that Nan Jiu realized that it had nothing to do with gender, but there was always a person in her heart, that not-so-good person, but full of love. Occupied her whole heart, leaving no place for anyone

The road, the zebra crossing, the green light, but there are not many people, only three people, besides Nan Jiu and Bai Bai, there is another person walking in front

The back of that person is a young man, a little familiar, he seems to have seen it somewhere, but he can't remember what it is, until Nan Jiu accidentally glanced at Bai Bai's flustered expression, and finally realized

It's him

Bai Bai's flustered and sad face made people feel chilled that he didn't come. It was her boyfriend, no, it should be her ex-boyfriend. That ex-boyfriend didn't look back, and Yi didn't notice the two people behind him.

Bai Bai did not shake off Nan Jiu's hand this time, which made people feel a lot of comfort, but the comfort soon disappeared.

Logically speaking, the green light and the vehicles are waiting on the sidelines. I don't know if one person is too anxious, or a momentary operation error, and rushed over abruptly

Although it rushed over, it didn't threaten Nan Bai and the two, but the ex-boyfriend was in danger, because the car didn't make a turn or slow down, so it was about to hit him abruptly

Bai Bai didn't let go of his hand at first, but he drew Nan Jiu's palm almost instantly. His heart was empty for a moment, and he saw that Bai Bai threw himself at his ex-boyfriend completely desperately. At that second, the time should be stand still

Maybe not, it should just be still in Nan Jiu's eyes, she saw Bai Bai rushing towards the man, leaving no room for him, it was just a matter of a moment

The car stopped, but all three fell to the ground

At the moment Bai Bai rushed out, Nan Jiu stepped forward almost at the same time, pushing both of them away, the car whistled, the sound of brakes was sharp, and the person hit the glass and fell to the ground muffled humming, one by one

In fact, it doesn't hurt very much, at least Nan Jiu thinks so, the first reaction is not to check the body, but to look at Bai Bai who was pushed away

She's all right, she's all right, that's all

After confirming that she was fine, the pain in her body was passed on. This is different from everyone's perception. Although the collision was not light, it may be because the location was just right, or it was just good luck that did not come out. what's the big deal

It's just a big cut on the arm, the blood flow is not very fast, which shows that the artery is not cut, but even if there is not too much blood, the wound is still there after all, and it will still hurt

It's the right hand again, this hand is easy to get hurt, Nan Jiu thought like this self-deprecatingly, and wanted to get up a little embarrassed, and the culprit also got out of the car, he was in his twenties, he was stepping on high heels, and he was wearing shorts The girl who is so young also understands why this car suddenly rushes out. How many people are reliable to drive on the sky?

The woman hurried forward to help Nan Jiu up, but she seemed to feel that she should not be helped. According to common sense, the injured should not be touched, for fear of making the injury worse, her voice was trembling with anxiety and fear inquiring

"Are you okay? Are you okay?"

How could it be okay, Nan Jiu really wanted to answer her like this, but before she said those words, her eyes fell not far away, and finally she didn't say anything, and just looked at the man and woman in the distance with a blank expression

Nan Jiu has never seen Bai Bai showing such an expression, such an expression of distress, pity, anxiety and love. She has nothing but pity for Nan Jiu, but she has so much for that man. In an instant, my heart became numb again

After struggling to get up from the ground, the young girl stretched out her hand to help her, but Nan Jiu pushed the girl away impatiently. Nan Jiu rarely treats people like this, and is always kind. At this moment The pain caused by the arm made me lose my mind, or it was because of the shock of seeing Bai Bai's expression

The boy just scratched his hand, that kind of small injury is not even considered an injury, but in exchange for Bai Bai's worry, and here Nan Jiu's arm was stained red with blood, and the flesh and blood gushed out. It looked a bit hideous, Nan Jiu didn't care about the injury on his hand, but stared blankly at Bai Bai, and Bai Bai just looked at the man from the beginning to the end.

After a long time, maybe only one or two seconds, but it was not as long as imagined, Nan Jiu turned around and stopped looking, but looked around blankly, her eyes were as empty and powerless as they were three years ago

A few people gathered around, Nan Jiu suddenly felt extremely embarrassed, she wanted to escape from this place, the sense of humiliation was exactly the same as three years ago, deeply imprinted on every corner of her body

So she pushed aside the crowd and walked away alone, and then walked further away. The blood on her arm dripped on the road little by little, and the bright red mark turned into a scar under the knife edge. cold pain

It was not until the hustle and bustle was far away from her ears that Nan Jiu finally stopped, looked at her arm, then looked at the sky, turned her head, and found that the expected figure was not there, and Bai Bai did not catch up, she was always concerned about that Man, Nan Jiu was injured and left without her knowing

why does this feel so hopeless

Nan Jiu stopped a taxi, the driver also noticed Nan Jiu's hand, before Nan Jiu could speak, the driver said

"Are you going to the nearest hospital? Your hands are bleeding a lot."

The driver is a good man, very anxious, Nan Jiu was also planning to go to the hospital, and did not object, nodded, and said nothing all the way, the driver asked the reason, Nan Jiu just smiled with a pale face, and did not do anything explain

When she reached the gate of the hospital, Nan Jiu said the first sentence

"My blood stained your car, the money is for the car wash, I'm so sorry"

After finishing speaking, he finally entered the entrance of the hospital. The driver took the money and glanced at the back seat. It was indeed stained with a lot of blood. He thought to himself, this girl is injured like that. No matter how you speak, you still keep smiling, and in the end, you can still take care of such small things as the car wash fee, which makes people feel a little bit of pity

"Don't tell your family... what about your friends... um... what about your sisters"

The answering voice was very calm, but only faintly spit out two identical syllables

"no"

no family, no friends, no sisters, nothing

The doctor handled Nan Jiu's wound skillfully, and would ask a few words from time to time. Nan Jiu also answered kindly. The doctor seemed to like chatting, but Nan Jiu didn't show any signs of impatience. , business as usual

"Doctors"

The half-sound of silence after the call made the doctor express his doubts

"Ok?"

"I wish I was a boy"

A nonsensical sentence, if you were an ordinary person, you wouldn't say anything else. The doctor also replied because of Nan Jiu's good looks.

"What's so good about being a boy, it's tiring and stressful"

Nan Jiu raised his head dumbly, and looked at the doctor

"Then the person I like can also like me, it doesn't matter if I'm tired, I just need a little liking, I'm... very content, not greedy at all"

The doctor obviously didn't expect Nan Jiu to have such an answer, and looked at her incomprehensibly, but Nan Jiu didn't explain

Until the wound was bandaged, Nan Jiu didn't speak again. The doctor thought the woman was a bit strange, so he didn't want to talk to her anymore.

"Are there other pains besides the hands?"

The doctor asked this question according to the usual practice, Nan Jiu glanced at his hand again, then frowned

"I think I'm going to die, but my whole body hurts"

Said Nan Jiu lightly laughed

"Why do you think my life is so big, I can't die if I hit it like this, does it mean that the more people want to die, the more they can't die?"

She just talked to herself, and didn't expect anyone to answer. Answering a question without an answer has no meaning in itself.