Don't run after school next door!

They didn't chat a few words on the phone, and Lin's mother, Xiao Yuan, said that she was coming now.

Lin Zan felt a little restless, why did she come here on purpose?The tone was so dignified that it made people panic.

Obviously, he himself was looking forward to his parents all day long, wanting to talk to them calmly, but now he was afraid of reuniting with his mother. This was really strange. Lin Zan himself felt that it was ridiculous. workshop.

A miniature model that I have been working on before has been completed. It is a dressing room with a specially shaped display cabinet for pocket perfume bottles.He reproduced Xiao Yuan's favorite styles.He put the small, delicate perfume on it and admired it in silence for a few minutes.

When mom comes, give it to her.

At nearly ten o'clock, Xiao Yuan arrived.She still has exquisite makeup, elegant and charming, but Lin Zan faintly feels that there is something else in her eyes.Lin Zan took the coat she took off and hung it on the hanger by the door.

However, the air flow was driven by waving his arms, Lin Zan keenly caught the scent of the perfume on his mother's body, and was in a trance for a while.

She used to prefer woody perfumes, the base notes are warm and soft, and the spices are always supplemented with roses, vines and other plants, giving people an intellectual and calm feeling.

But now the perfume she used was a little spicy, a little more sharp.

Lin Zan suddenly thought: People always like to describe the breath that belongs to the mother.And when that taste changes?

He suppressed the inexplicable feeling in his heart, and pulled Xiao Yuan to sit on the sofa.Now that everyone is here, there is no need to beat around the bush. Lin Zan asked bluntly, "What's going on? What happened to you and Dad?"

Xiao Yuan obviously wanted to say something, but was choked by his question, and she was stuck for more than ten seconds before she sighed: "Baby, it's all about mother's problem."

"En." Lin Zan said with a serious expression, "What's the problem?"

Xiao Yuan's eyes fluctuated for a few seconds, and her voice was low: "You may think that your mother is whimsical, after all, even your father doesn't accept it."

Lin Zan's face was slightly cold: "There is no need to vaccinate me anymore. I said it before, Mom, don't treat me like a child, just say it."

He had waited for too long, and he no longer had any patience, and he stopped going around in circles, and asked, "What's the matter with you and my dad?"

He frowned incomprehensibly: "It shouldn't take so long to quarrel, right?"

"It's not awkward." Xiao Yuan sat beautifully, with one leg crossed over the other, her toes slightly tilted, and her upper body straight.

She looked at Lin Zan with those radiant eyes, and emphasized again: "It's been a long time, so it's not awkward."

"What's that?" he asked confused.Her words are nothing more than saying that she is serious, what are you doing seriously?

Xiao Yuan looked at him quietly, like looking at a work of art, with tender and scrutinizing eyes flowing on him.

But this gaze made Lin Zan a little restless.He faintly felt an absurd possibility, and he couldn't wait to refute it if he caught a little trace of it, but the more times he refuted, the more clearly that possibility echoed.

Time seemed to be elongated, the scene in front of him became distant, and he paced back and forth in the silence and noise.

Finally, Xiao Yuan's answer ended his long wait.Every word she uttered hits an invisible film, and after being buffered, there is a sense of flexibility and unreality: "I'm tired of family."

"I want to live alone."

Lin Zan really couldn't react immediately, he couldn't quite understand what Xiao Yuan said in these two short sentences.

He subconsciously asked, "Tired of what?"

Xiao Yuan took a deep breath, made up her mind, and said it again: "I'm tired of my family."

She said it many times in front of her husband and still couldn't get her understanding. Xiao Yuan also felt tired. She wanted to maintain her dignity in front of her children.But Lin Zan said not to treat him like a child, so she tried to see if he could understand.

She said in one breath: "Since you were born, I have felt constrained. Apart from happiness, family brings me more suffocation. I don't want to worry about housework when I am busy with work. I always Hang on to you, hang on to your father. I'm not me anymore, I don't have my moments, I've had enough."

Every time she said a word, Lin Zan's heart was gouged out by a knife.

Lin Zan spoke without confidence and was very frustrated: "Mom, to you, are we all just burdens?"

Xiao Yuan's eyes stayed on him, with pity and some helplessness, there was maternal love in her eyes.But she said: "I will break your heart by saying that. But baby, besides being mother's baby, you really made mother suffer a lot."

"I feel that I have been kidnapped by my family for many years. After having a child, I lost myself. You and your father will never understand my feelings." There was a bit of accusation in her voice, but her reason quickly made her It became normal, and the tone became peaceful again, "This society has tied too many things to mothers."

Looking at her son's injured expression, she still felt pain in her heart.But so what?Is her life going to be like this forever?

Since having a child, her whole person has changed, and she is no longer the same person she was when she was young.They are lucky. Their family is well-off and their income is good, so they don't have to worry about tea, rice, oil and salt like other families.

But Xiao Yuan still felt that more than half of her life was taken away by her family!She kept dividing her territory, ceding her personal space little by little.

In the end, even her heart was almost snatched away by her family.Her dreams and hobbies are gradually forgotten in time, and her heart and energy are devoted to how to build a beautiful and warm home.

After the age of 40, she felt more and more boring in life, and she recalled herself in her teens and twenties more and more frequently.She felt an unprecedented crisis.

She lives step by step, going to school, getting married, having children, getting old, living her life "correctly" as most people think, never thinking about whether this trajectory is really what she wants.

Occasionally, when she dreamed back in the middle of the night, she would wake up drenched in cold sweat, feeling turbulent in her heart.She thought of the divorce cases she had fought, and the mothers in those families. They were always talking about their love for their children, but the more Xiao Yuan thought about it, the more she could detect a trace of complaint from their words.

It seems that the mother will regard her contribution as love, and in turn use her contribution to ask her children to understand this "love".

Xiao Yuan felt that she had almost fallen into this strange situation.Maternity, maternal love, what is the difference between the two?

Was she kidnapped by motherhood, or was she inspired by motherly love to love children spontaneously?

The result of thinking is: Xiao Yuan wants to live alone.Because her longing for the life she imagined in the past has far exceeded her satisfaction with her current life.She also needs time to figure out some things, like so-called love.

Although she had already made up her mind in her heart, Xiao Yuan was a little shaken when she saw Lin Zan's pale face. She pinched her fingertips and said, "Baby, I'm sorry, this is not fair to you. You I have been cared for and grown up since I was a child, I know it is hard for you to understand."

Lin Zan's eyes were red, and he asked again without confidence: "Did I really make you suffer a lot? Am I that bad?"

Xiao Yuan sat closer to him, and hugged her naive son: "So I say you can't understand, baby, you have never had children, and you are not a woman, you will never understand my feelings."

She patted Lin Zan on the back lightly, like coaxing him to sleep when she was a child, and said patiently but melancholy: "Mom suffers. My whole heart is hung on you. If you feel a little uncomfortable, mother will be nervous." I have to sleep well. Mom is also a human being and has her own life, but after she has a child, she can't control her heart. Whether you are in front of me or not, I am worried about you. "

Lin Zan was ashamed and depressed, and didn't know how to answer her words.

is that so?So mother will become so painful because of his existence?Lin Zan didn't know what to do. At this moment, his gratitude to his mother was at its peak, but there was something unspeakable in his chest that made him disgusted with this scene. He seemed to have been enjoying it with peace of mind. parental love.

But, just because he is their child, can he be so at ease?

Lin Zan felt the body temperature belonging to his mother, and his eyes were wet with disappointment. He said dryly: "I'm sorry."

Xiao Yuan stroked his hair gently, feeling sore in her heart.Her son's "I'm sorry" really moved her a lot.Motherhood shook her again.

But she has to go.She didn't want to abandon her children or her husband, but she was determined to put the focus of her life back on herself.

Men may never understand, but Xiao Yuan knows what she wants.

Having said that, Lin Zan no longer has any reason to question his mother.His mother is his nurturer, the one who brought him into this world.How can there be a reason for a son to order his mother as a matter of course?

He was in extremely complicated moods, but he stopped Xiao Yuan just before she went out, and gave her the miniature model that he had made for a long time. "Mom, send you off, I hope you have a good time."

Xiao Yuan took it over with a smile, and looked at him tenderly: "Baby, you are always the pride of mother."

So my mother will let you grow up with confidence, and my mother will also go to her own growth path.

Lin Zan was the only one left in the room.

He stayed at the door quietly for a while before taking another deep breath.

To be honest, he really couldn't understand it.He heard his mother's bitterness, but he still didn't understand.

Why does the family make her suffer so much?

In Lin Zan's heart, family is the warmest and most comfortable existence.Xiao Yuan's words seemed to reveal another side of the family, which was forbearing and suffering.

Is home like that?Does the beautiful castle that Lin Zan longed for only exist in his own imagination?

Has his expectation of home been proven to be a hypocritical behavior?

Lin Zan moved with stiff steps, and walked back to the sofa step by step, where the smell of perfume from Xiao Yuan still lingered.

He squatted down slowly and sat on the carpet in front of the sofa, hugging his knees with his hands, in a helpless posture.

After an unknown amount of time passed, his phone vibrated again and the screen lit up.

Lin Zan turned his head mechanically and numbly looked at the mobile phone on the coffee table.

It shook again.

Another shake.

Several shocks in a row forced Lin Zan to cheer up and restore some vitality to him.

He straightened his arms, took the phone, and unlocked it.

It was a WeChat message from Fang Xun. He took a lot of photos in the playground today. He repaired it and sent it to him.

Lin Zan rested his chin on his knees, and slowly flipped through the phone with one hand.

The weather was sunny and the photos taken were beautiful.Looking at it, his cold heart warmed up again.

Lin Zan remembered that night, Fang Xun said to him: "It's never as easy to expect others as it is to expect yourself."

A small, luminous thought suddenly flashed in Lin Zan's mind: Why does my mother think that family makes her suffer, and I have to think that family really brings pain, and deny my own conception of family?

Suddenly, his heart was pounding, faster and faster, as if he had caught something.The thing was fleeting, and he had to concentrate, hold his breath, and let out the bold but trustworthy thought little by little:

Why don't I look forward to my own home, created by myself?

That seemed like a wish fulfillment.

He has no position to force his parents to complete his idea, but why can't he give it a try?

Then give it a try!He wants to try.

The author has something to say:

The content of this chapter is quite boring. I guess the readers are not interested at all, but I still write it like this. Sure enough, I am still rebellious, and those who lack collections will be severely beaten haha.But the outline is set like this, I don't want to disappoint the character Xiao Yuan.The mother and son can't convince each other, they can't understand each other, the gap in identity and gender is doomed to be incomprehensible, and I don't want to deliberately change their minds.But I think the essence of the behavior of the two people is the same, they both trust and pursue what they really yearn for.I think it's very sincere, no one is right and no one is wrong.If you want to write like this, let me write it myself first.Although it is still poorly written, what if one day I can write a touching chapter? Haha, I am dreaming.

Because the archives are exhausted, the update time should not be stable during this period, try to update it every day~