[Bei Tang] Poison

The peach blossoms are also in full bloom.

Sometimes Tingting would come to see me, but I really didn't have the energy to talk to her.

She didn't speak, just sat with me.

From early spring February to late spring March.

I feel like my brain is not working very well recently, and I often can't remember what to do.I spent a morning recalling how I lived before.

Wandering around Luoyang, pretending to be poor to beg for food, robbing the monk's business, chatting with the fortune-teller of Chunyang Palace.

I'm also really boring.

But I don't want to go to Luoyang. The court has not settled it yet. It is said that Luoyang City is still in the same decadent state.

In the afternoon, the stinky boys in the guidance gang punched and sweated a lot.I went back to the house and took a shower. I was hungry.Wanting to get something to eat, I lifted the lid of the pot and threw it down again.

I feel flustered when I see everything.

I can't think, and when I think about it, I can't breathe, as if it is a deep exhaustion coming from the bone marrow.Some images of the past flashed in my head, flustered and depressed.

Memories are poisonous.

After a while, I opened the door and went out.Lying on the roof basking in the moon.When I woke up again, it was already dawn, Yin Ting sat next to me, and looked at me: You seem to be much better recently.

Me: When am I having a hard time.

She was silent for a while, and asked me: Are you going to catch fish?

I nodded and said yes.

She sat and watched the osprey, and I supported the sage to watch her direct the osprey to catch fish.

She pointed at the bustling lake and smiled at me: You see, those fish are so stupid, they don’t even remember that their partners were caught by my osprey, and they all came out to die when they threw some bait.

I also made fun of her.

Probably because I haven't been so silly with my friends for a long time, Yin Ting smiled flatteringly.

I said: You have such an ugly smile.

She "hummed": I don't want to accompany my brother Hua, because you are in a bad mood and take you out to relax, how dare you despise me!

I laughed: how dare I?If I dared to dislike you, Du Ming would have torn me apart with his bare hands.

She hugged her knees and made weird faces at me.

I looked at her leaning on a long wormwood: I really didn't dare to dislike you just now, but seeing your expression now, I think it's hard not to dislike you.

For the first time, she didn't jump up and hit me, she just hugged her knees and tilted her head to look at me for a long time.She said: from now on, you will be fine.

I still looked at her with a smile: Where am I not doing well?

She frowned: You know what I said.Forget about those things.

I still looked at her and smiled: Tell me, aren’t these fish very happy when they are so stupid, even if they are caught and died, they will forget it immediately?

She stared at me blankly.

I couldn't help laughing: Am I not stupid enough to forget?

She stood up and looked at me helplessly: You...you looked fine before, did you just pretend?

I laughed: what am I pretending to be?I am indeed fine.

I raised my arms and showed her my shoulders: You see, all my previous injuries have been healed.What's wrong with me?

She frowned tightly and looked at me: Gu Zhuo, don't do this.

I wonder: what's wrong with me?

Her: You still, forget about him.If you do, we'll be worried.

I watched her quietly for a long time.I said: I can't do it.

唐

Ye Yu's character should follow her mother.Then, it can be imagined that Dad is so gentle and doting on me, probably because he is used to treating mother like that from time to time.

When Ye Yu talked about mother to me, her tone was full of pride.

She said: The leader once told me about Niangqin. Niangqin was one of the most beautiful in the entire Five Immortals Sect back then. She only practiced the Poison Sutra, so many people traveled thousands of miles to Wudu to propose marriage to her.

But she refused.Later, those other sects asked for a martial arts contest to recruit relatives, but she beat them down one by one with a worm flute.

No one dared to challenge her anymore. At that time, Dad was just passing by and came to Wudu to do something.Coincidentally, I passed by the place where they had a martial arts competition to recruit relatives. At that time, they had already finished the fight, and my mother was slightly injured.

Dad passed by to take a look, and only said what it looks like when a group of men beat a girl, so he gave mother the wound medicine.

He didn't say anything, just left.

At that time, my mother thought this person was very interesting, so she was dumbfounded, and didn't even look at the occasion, so she just talked about the proposed marriage.

His mother pursued him and wanted to marry him, but he was unwilling. He said that his fate was unpredictable, and he might die when he might die. A good girl like my mother shouldn't suffer with him and worry about him.

Ye Yu tilted her head: Later?Later, my mother told me that he had to do it, so she followed him every day, playing tricks.In the end, father had no choice but to marry mother!

I couldn't help laughing out loud: Mother has such a powerful personality, I don't think I need to worry about your future, I can rely on whoever I like.

Ye Yu stuck out her tongue at me: I'm not as powerful as my mother.

Night Feather is cute.Looking at her, I couldn't fully open my heart and tell her about my illness. I couldn't bear her to be sad.

She leaned over and lay on my knee: brother!Take off the mask!

I was still involuntarily happy seeing her. I took off the mask and watched her play with my mask happily, and winked at me while wearing it on her own face.

I was happy and sad at the same time.

Blame me for not coming to see you sooner.

I felt a little dizzy, and I also felt inexplicable fatigue, and my back hurt.

Probably because I really don't have much time. I came to Wudu from Junshan, and I stopped for a while on the way to treat my wounds. It was already early April.

Only seven months left.

If my last bit of luck is lost, maybe in the last seven months, I will die suddenly anytime, anywhere.

Me: Ye Yu, what mentality did you learn?

Ye Yu: Shuangxiu, me, I don't want to be bullied, and I don't want to bully others, and I think being able to save people is great!

Double cultivation, then she probably knows something about changing minds. I tentatively said: I have always been a single cultivation, and I learned the tricks of Tianluo before. It was too tiring to play Yu Jue, so I switched back to Tianluo Guidao.I don't know if it will be bad for my body... Is it in exchange for this?

Her big beautiful eyes stared at me: You don't dare to trade back and forth like this!Although Shanxiu has a safe way to change his mind, the secrets of each sect seem to be harmful to the body. If you are advanced in martial arts and have the ability to directly change your mind like the records in the book, you are dead!

Dead.

The little hope that was built up secretly was shattered too quickly.

Feeling extremely bitter in my heart, I still cheered up: so serious?

She: Of course, your master must have taught you before, but the single-cultivation disciples of each sect basically never have the ability to directly change the mind method, so after a long time, I probably forgot about it. Disciples will naturally pay more attention.

Don't ask any more.

Destiny is really fair, just without any bias.I let go of my clenched fist and smiled at her with my last strength: I'm a little tired and want to rest.

She dragged me to sit on the peacock: Speaking of which, brother, why are you suddenly free, and you can come to see me, I have never seen you come before.

Me: There's nothing going on in the castle recently, so I'm allowed to come out and play.

She smiled happily: Then you can stay for a few more days!Can you stay here for a while, and stay with me.

I said: good.

She hummed a folk song happily.

I don't have any thoughts in my head at all, I just want to ask God to bless me, let me live in the five poisons these days, and let me survive for a while.

I don't want to die in front of Ye Yu.

丐

I can't breathe.

I clutched my heart fiercely, gasping for breath.Ting Ting hastened to exercise and help me adjust my breath. I coughed uncontrollably, and finally felt better when I vomited out a mouthful of dark red blood.

I grab her wrist: I want to see him.

She shook her head.

Me: tell me where he is, where did he go?I want to see him!

She still shook her head: I don't know.

I got up, the soles of my feet were shaking, what's wrong with me, don't get sick...if you get sick, you have to persist until you find him.

Du Ming held me down, and a few silver needles pricked down neatly.

I can't move.

I looked at him, looked at him beggingly: let me go.

He said: You are sick.

I looked at him: please.

He said: I am a doctor, you must listen to me.

Tears.

Lost temperature, dripped to the ear, a little cold.Like a person's temperature.I couldn't help it anymore, and burst into tears.This is probably the most desperate and helpless moment in my life.

I never cry. I begged for food when I was young, but I learned decently.Actually I never cried.

Including the second day of getting married before.

My ability to pretend to cry, after communicating with Guo Zhuangzhuang, has almost reached the point of perfection.It's really a bit of a past.At this moment, I just feel that I can't take it anymore.

Because I made him sad again.

Thinking about what I said, I just want to find a knife and stab myself a few times to vent my anger.

I'm an asshole.

I almost actually killed him.However, I still remember what I said, and what I said would only hurt him more than killing him.

But I also remember the last few words he said to me.

He kept repeating it.

He said Gu Zhuo, I love you, I like you.I only had hatred in my heart at that time, I thought he was mocking me, I couldn't bear it, I strangled his neck and wanted to kill him.

He has always been like this, and he can firmly control all my emotions with a few easy words.

If he wants me to be happy, I will be happy, if he wants me to be sad, I will be sad.He didn't make me fall in love with him but I fell in love with him, he wanted me to hate him but I honestly hated him.

I cried until I could no longer make a sound.

Looking at the ceiling calmly, but the eyes keep leaking out