SAYE

"Aren't you too free?" Gu Fei squatted on the side of the road with a cigarette in his mouth, watching the cars passing by in front of him, "Didn't you always go out on dates a while ago? Go on a date and stare at me every day what?"

"Do you think I want to stare at you today?" Li Yan leaned against the tree next to him, "I'm half dead every day, staring at you will shorten my life."

"Then get lost," Gu Fei said.

"Do you want to check your WeChat?" Li Yan looked down at the phone, "Jiang Cheng leaves you a comment every other day, it's on your photo..."

"Don't mention him." Gu Fei took a deep breath on his cigarette.

"Leave a small sun below, but I haven't left it for the past few days." Li Yan finished speaking quickly.

Gu Fei stood up and turned to stare at him.

"I said, if you dare to fight with me, we will break off our friendship." Li Yan pointed at him.

"I told you too," Gu Fei walked up to him and stared at him face to face, "Don't mention Jiang Cheng in front of me."

"I will ask one last question, and after asking this question, I will never mention him again." Li Yan said.

Gu Fei stared at him without making a sound.

"Why? Even if you want to break up, you should choose a more relaxed way, right? And I always feel that if one of you two lets go, he should go," Li Yan said, "Why did you let go? Jiang Cheng is very good. one person."

"Is this one?" Gu Fei looked at him.

"Then you can choose any answer." Li Yan clicked his tongue.

"So I have to drag a pretty good person to death?" Gu Fei said.

Li Yan looked at him, didn't speak for a long time, and finally lowered his head and flicked on the phone: "Liu Fan, why hasn't he arrived for so long!"

It's been a long time since this group of people got together, and they usually have nothing serious to do, but if they want to get together for a meal, they have to make an appointment.

When Liu Fan drove over in his small broken car, he had already picked up all the people and crowded the car.

"I'll go on foot." Gu Fei took a look inside the car, and turned his head to leave. Every time six people squeezed into the car, he felt that the car was going to be broken.

"Come up!" Liu Fan poked his head out of the car window, "You are the uncle! I left you a co-driver!"

Li Yan pulled him and pushed him into the passenger seat, and then squeezed himself into the back seat: "I'm so fucking skinny!"

"Crowdfunding to buy me a car," Liu Fan drove the car, "so that I don't have to complain every time I get picked up and dropped off."

"You can just remove the back seat and put a few benches," Chen Jie said, "There is no problem with crowdfunding to buy you a bench."

"Go away, next time you can walk by yourself." Liu Fan said.

Gu Fei didn't speak the whole time, he tilted his head and looked out the window, listening to a group of people talking nonsense.

Gathering with friends, eating and drinking, talking nonsense, picking up some jobs, living a peaceful life every day, he is very skilled in this kind of life.

But the faint astringent feeling in his heart couldn't be alleviated by returning to the track he had always been on, anyway, it was getting more and more astringent.

Bored, depressed, out of breath.

There is no relief whatsoever.

These pains that made him fidget for a while suppressed and resurfaced again and again.

"How is it?" Liu Fan turned to ask him.

"Huh?" Gu Fei responded.

"Li Yan said he won't eat Sichuan cuisine, how about going to eat big bone hot pot?" Liu Fan said.

"Okay." Gu Fei said.

"Then let's go to the one in front. It's closer, and no one will check along the way for a drink." Liu Fan said.

"You want to drink and drive." Gu Fei said casually.

Liu Fan glanced at him and said nothing.

Gu Fei continued to look out the window.

How many imprints and memories did Jiang Cheng leave in his mind, many things he would remember as soon as he closed his eyes, and could not be lingered when he opened them, how long would it take him to start again, or whether he still had May adapt.

In the past, he felt that there was nothing he couldn't bear, as long as he was willing to endure, everything could be forgotten, but now he found that feelings are beyond the five elements.

Breaking up is not the end, but the beginning.

From now on, every day when I open my eyes, my first breath will hurt.

Every hour, every minute and every second, it was like a fire was burning in my heart, and the scorched pain was brand new every minute and every second.

"Can't you tell someone to ask for leave this weekend?" Zhao Ke sat at the table and turned his head and said, "How can you go to class if you can't speak?"

Jiang Cheng pointed to the notebook in front of him. On it was more than half of the PPTs he had made. This weekend he arranged for the two children to make up for politics. Making a PPT can almost explain the content of what is going to be said clearly.

Zhao Ke looked at him and sighed, and after a while dragged a chair and sat beside him: "I'll go."

Jiang Cheng was stunned.

"It's fine if you fainted in the past two days and didn't go to the hospital. Don't hold on to the make-up classes. I'll go to the few classes this week for you," Zhao Ke said. "Anyway, I'm also a top student and meet the requirements."

Jiang Cheng smiled and clicked his tongue.

"Tsk, my score is not much lower than yours," Zhao Ke said, "It's not a problem to take two classes temporarily."

Jiang Cheng shook his head, the exam was about to take place, and everyone was racing against the clock. It was unreasonable for Zhao Ke to spend so much time teaching for him at a time like this.

Even if the time is not urgent, he is not willing.

Now he can't stop, he must maintain his original rhythm, no matter how fast the original rhythm is and how much pressure he has, he has to maintain it.

Once some nerves are loosened, his whole body will collapse.

This is his unique secret to keep himself from collapsing.

Contestant Jiang Cheng's secret recipe is not easy to use, and even if it is used, it will not be easy for people to know.

However, the parents of the two children were very moved by this kind of money fan spirit who forcibly made up lessons while sick. Because Jiang Cheng claimed that his throat was hoarse due to inflammation and fire, so he got a bunch of medicine and two small red envelopes, and got a day paid holidays.

The title of Fuwa Chengcheng is not for nothing.

When Jiang Cheng returned to the dormitory with the red envelope in his arms, he felt that he was still very good.

Everyone in the dormitory should be in the library at this time, Jiang Cheng took his mobile phone while walking to the dormitory, and wanted to send a message to Zhao Ke to ask if there was any seat available, but when he entered the dormitory, he saw Zhao Ke sitting in the dormitory reading a book.

He turned his head when he heard the sound of the door opening, Jiang Cheng tilted his head and made a questioning expression.

"How is it? Did it go well?" Zhao Ke asked.

Jiang Cheng nodded, took out the red envelope and shook it at him.

"Yo," Zhao Ke smiled, "Is this condolence money?"

Jiang Cheng nodded, put the things down and pressed the button on the phone.

- didn't go to the library?

"Didn't go," Zhao Ke said, then turned to look at him after a pause, "Jiang Cheng, I usually don't care about other people's business, but..."

Jiang Cheng leaned on the bed and looked at him.

"I have a better relationship with you in school," Zhao Ke said, "You are like this... I am a little worried. If you don't mind, just tell me why? I won't inquire about anything else."

Jiang Cheng smiled.

I have always thought that Gu Fei is a person who can hold back, but now I find that I can hold back as well, and I don't know if it was infected by Gu Fei, or if I was inspired by hidden skills.

From the day Gu Fei used Li Yan's phone to contact him, it has been a week now, and he hasn't mentioned this matter to anyone.

In fact, there were almost no people he could talk about this matter. Pan Zhi could say it, but Pan Zhi didn't like them at first, and now he is not willing to let Pan Zhi know.

He wasn't afraid that Pan Zhi would say something to Gu Fei on impulse, he just didn't want Pan Zhi to worry, his grandson was very worried when he was dealing with his affairs.

If you don't tell Pan Zhi, probably only Zhao Keke will tell.

Zhao Ke is his best friend in school, but he is not familiar enough to know everything about him and Gu Fei. This kind of relationship is actually very suitable for talking.

He kept holding back and didn't say anything, in fact, it was because even mentioning a single word of this matter felt like an abyss of pain.

Jiang Cheng picked up the phone and typed a few words on the notepad.

- I can't abuse you as a single dog in the future

Zhao Ke leaned over to look at the line of words on the screen, a little surprised, and quickly glanced at him: "Why so suddenly? Wasn't it good before?"

- I can't say a word or two

"Did he mention... breaking up?" Zhao Ke probably couldn't understand.

Jiang Cheng didn't move for a long time, and then nodded after a while.

"Why?" Zhao Ke frowned, "I really think you two should have a good relationship, how could someone give up suddenly under such circumstances?"

It was very sudden, so suddenly that people could use personal experience to understand deeply and thoroughly what a bolt from the blue is.

"Why don't you... have you tried," Zhao Ke said with some difficulty, "I've never been in a relationship, so I don't know what to do, just, have you tried to get it back?"

Jiang Cheng shook his head.

"Why?" Zhao Ke asked.

- What he gave up was not me, nor his feelings, what he gave up was himself

In this lifetime, a person may give up many things, many people.

But the scariest thing is to give up on yourself.

For Jiang Cheng, compared to the last foot in the air after he had put in so much effort, what made him unable to breathe in pain and had to rely on maintaining the same rhythm and direction of life before to keep moving forward was to forget it a little. It was Gu Fei once again. He closed his eyes and sank into the deepest darkness.

He couldn't sleep all night, and when he closed his eyes, he would hear Gu Fei say, forget it.

Brother Cheng, forget it.

forget it.

Don't pull me any more.

forget it.

There is no pain more profound and hopeless than watching the person you desperately want to be with let go of your hand.

Jiang Cheng had no other choice but to keep reminding himself, I can't stop.

He can't go back to find Gu Fei, he knows what kind of state Gu Fei is now, and he might not even be able to see Gu Fei when he goes back.

The bully of the steel factory is far more ruthless to himself than to others, otherwise he would not be able to survive after so many years.

If he could say forget it, he would not give himself and Jiang Cheng any hope.

Jiang Cheng didn't plan to go back and look for him either.

Going back is just a question of why.

Meaningless.

He can't stop.

For him, nothing has changed, it is still the same as before, he goes to the library, he reviews for exams, he reads psychology books, and he works as a tutor to make money.

The only slight difference.

Probably when I was lying in bed at night, I turned on my mobile phone and lost the half-hour chat time.

Only.

no big deal.

There are 24 hours in a day, and half an hour will pass by closing your eyes for a while.

After more than half a month, Jiang Cheng's voice was finally able to make some sounds, but it didn't sound very beautiful.

"I'm going to find you in the past, don't make excuses to miss me anymore, scumbag," Pan Zhi said anxiously in the first sentence after he was finally able to reach him on the phone, "You have something to do Keep it from me."

"No." Jiang Cheng replied in a hoarse voice.

"We've known each other for several years," Pan Zhi said, "You really didn't tell me the truth, there must be something wrong with you, my eighth sense tells me..."

"Six." Jiang Cheng said.

"What?" Pan Zhi was taken aback.

"Sixth sense," Jiang Cheng said with difficulty, "Idiot."

"My fucking eighth sense here, I have more senses than others," Pan Zhi said, "I have to use my ninth sense after I have used up my eighth sense. If you don't tell me the truth, I still have a tenth sense." I'm waiting for you."

"I don't want to talk." Jiang Cheng said.

He really didn't want to talk.

He didn't feel too uncomfortable when he couldn't speak, and he didn't want to talk anyway, so he felt so bored, but he felt comfortable.

It's like being quietly sealed in a box, not moving, not wanting, not speaking, keeping a closed state.

It will make people feel safe.

"Is it Gu Fei?" Pan Zhi asked.

"Huh?" Jiang Cheng's heart skipped a beat.

This name would be stuck in his mind every day, like a small bone in his throat that he couldn't swallow or spit out. If he didn't think about it, he wouldn't feel it, but once he felt it, it would be an uncomfortable feeling that he couldn't ignore no matter what.

He hadn't heard the word "Gu Fei" for too long.

The moment Pan Zhi said these two words, it was as if a hole had been split in the shell he had worked so hard to wrap up, tearing out a wound that hadn't healed.

At this moment, he suddenly discovered that the wound hadn't changed in the slightest, just like the first second it appeared, so fresh and so clear.

"I just said that you two don't post on Moments now," Pan Zhi said, "Okay, if you don't tell me, I won't ask, just tell me when you are free, and I will treat you to dinner."

"The exam is over," Jiang Cheng said.

"Cheng'er," Pan Zhi sighed, "don't feel bad, as I said, first love will hurt, because we are all naive, and no one knows how to maintain the relationship."

Jiang Cheng clicked his tongue.

"But this is also the most beautiful place. No one knows what the other person needs, but they only know that they are willing to give," Pan Zhi said, "When they are all mature, they will never have such feelings again."

Jiang Cheng clicked his tongue again.

"Take it as a memory," Pan Zhi said, "if there is no other way."

Jiang Cheng crawled back to his bed, sat down facing the wall, lowered his head and closed his eyes.

"Then call me when you get there," Xu Xingzhi said, "I'll only go downstairs for a minute."

"Okay." Jiang Cheng said, his voice was broken.

After arriving at the gate of the community where Xu Xingzhi was renting, he called Xu Xingzhi, but Xu Xingzhi didn't answer and hung up directly.

After a while, he came out from inside, and when he saw Jiang Cheng, he was stunned: "You... what's wrong?"

"It's okay." Jiang Cheng said.

"Come on, find a place to sit and chat." Xu Xingzhi turned around and walked out.

Jiang Cheng followed behind him.

It had been a long time since he walked on the street like this, and Jiang Cheng suddenly felt very uncomfortable, and even felt that there would be a tendency to bend when walking.

The eyes don't know where to look, the ears are full of noise, and the breathing is a bit difficult.

It wasn't until Xu Xingzhi led him into a small shop and sat down in a corner by the window that he was slightly relieved and pulled off the scarf around his neck.

Apart from the two of them, there was only one other table of guests in the shop. Jiang Cheng could relax only in this environment with no one around. He felt like an old man who couldn't stand the slightest noise or confusion.

When he was about to put the scarf on the window sill next to him, a pile of flowery cushions on the window sill suddenly moved.

"Hey!" Jiang Cheng was startled, and shouted in a hoarse voice. The broken voice made Huamao Mat stand up in fright, and only then did he realize that Mao Mat was actually a cat.

"You're not afraid of cats, are you?" Xu Xingzhi hugged the cat and put it on his lap.

"Don't be afraid, I really like it," Jiang Cheng said, "Do you always come here to pet cats?"

"Well, it can relieve stress," Xu Xingzhi picked up the cat and placed it on the table in front of him, "Touch it."

This tabby cat is very docile and clingy, as soon as Jiang Cheng's hand touched its head, it rubbed against Jiang Cheng's hand and lay down, its belly turned out.

Jiang Cheng stroked its belly lightly. This cat has short hair, and its winter fur is thick and smooth. The gentle feeling filling between his fingers made Jiang Cheng feel relaxed for a while.

warm.

He lowered his head and buried his face in the cat's belly, and the cat's paws gently pressed against his ears.

"Actually, I want to ask about my sister today. Have you discussed it with your friends?" Xu Xingzhi's voice was very soft, "but now...if you want, you can talk about your affairs."

"What's my business?" Jiang Cheng buried himself in the cat's belly and smiled, "Is this your professional sensitivity?"

"How long have you been like this?" Xu Xingzhi asked.

"Which one?" Jiang Cheng tilted his head, revealing one eye.

"This..." Xu Xingzhi looked at him, "How long is the state of anxiety?"

"I'm not anxious." Jiang Cheng put his arms on the table and hugged the cat. "My mind is as calm as water. If I persist for half a month, I will be able to ascend."

Xu Xingzhi smiled and did not speak, and ordered a pot of flower and fruit tea in a low voice with the waiter who came over.

After the tea was brought over, he poured a cup and pushed it to Jiang Cheng's hand.

When the warm temperature came from his fingers, Jiang Cheng suddenly felt his nose a little sore.

He quickly took hold of the cup.

"You give me a consultation." After a while, he whispered something.

"Have you encountered anything bothering you?" Xu Xingzhi asked.

"I'm going to have an exam next week," Jiang Cheng said, "but I can't read the books now, I can't concentrate when reviewing, I can't sleep at night, I have been insomnia, and I can only sleep for a while when it is almost dawn. do not want to talk……"

His throat was a little uncomfortable, and it was very difficult to speak. Jiang Cheng coughed lightly twice: "I just don't want to talk, eat or move."

"When did it start?" Xu Xingzhi asked again.

"Since..." Jiang Cheng held the cup so tightly that his hands were shaking a little, and then he said softly, "It started from the day I broke up in love."

"Really." There was a little surprise in Xu Xingzhi's voice.

"I'm broken in love." Jiang Cheng said.

The moment he said this, he suddenly felt very funny.

Lovelorn.

I'm dumped?

For some reason, this word was very unfamiliar to him. He always knew that he broke up with Gu Fei, from the second Gu Fei said "Forget it".

But he never associated himself with the word broken love.

Now that he suddenly said that, he realized that the word "broken love" is so hypocritical, so hypocritical that he wanted to laugh very much.

"Don't tell him about it this year," Liu Li whispered to his mother in the backyard. "He's not in a good mood recently."

"That's why I said I'll go by myself. I didn't mention it to him when he was going to take the college entrance examination last year," said my mother. Go, I just want to be at ease, or I will dream that I am beaten when he dies."

Gu Fei knew that they were talking about Dad, but after Mom said it, he suddenly discovered that he didn't go to the lake last year.

He didn't think of it at all.

last winter.

He was always with Jiang Cheng.

Remember a lot, but also forget a lot.

Mom is an unpredictable woman, Gu Fei doesn't know if she will really go to the lake, maybe she will, maybe she won't, it all depends on her mood.

But Gu Fei decided to go there.

He had come to the lake a month or two in advance, and every time he was forced by his mother to delay him.

But this season is similar, snow, dead grass.

A lonely road.

Going in along the edge of the lake, Gu Fei kept walking in without stopping.

Contestant Jiang Cheng decided to increase the difficulty again!He decided to increase the difficulty again!Wow--

Oh, it's a pity, Director Cha, do you think he made a mistake this time or his skills are not up to the mark?

I think there is still room for improvement in his skills, and he seems to want to change the way of challenge... Should he lower the difficulty this time or continue...

Gu Fei stopped in a daze, and he suddenly realized why he kept walking like this, walking forward as if he had some goal.

He turned around and stared at the half-person tall withered grass by the lake for a long time.

But there is no Jiang Cheng here.

Here, talking to himself, handsome and performing a slingshot, Jiang Cheng should never appear again.

This year's grass was in full bloom, a large piece of withered yellow, shining golden light in the sun, he couldn't even find the exact location where Jiang Cheng hit the slingshot back then.

Couldn't find it.

Very good, can't find it very good...

He was afraid of feeling Jiang Cheng's aura. After making the phone call that day, he never went to the rental house again. He was afraid of seeing anything related to Jiang Cheng.

He was afraid of any information that would make him feel that Jiang Cheng was gradually disappearing and leaving.