scorching cold

Tao Zhuo couldn't hold back his sour mouth when he heard this, and bit Li Suihan's knee.

"Still listening?" Li Suihan looked at him amusedly.

"Listen! Continue." Tao Zhuo rubbed him again.

For a long time after that, the relationship between Li Suihan and Li Yang didn't change much.

In the final analysis, drawing is a repeated operation of lines and colors, especially for the test-taking classes under the current art test mode.

The accumulation of one sheet after another for a whole year is suffering for those without talent; it is a machine for those who are not capable enough to draw what they want to paint.

In such mechanical and repetitive days, as the art exam was approaching day by day, apart from studying how to make the picture be seen in thousands of exam papers together, no one had any extra thoughts to think about other aspects.

Besides, Li Yang is a straight man, and Li Suihan would tease him occasionally as a joke, and he didn't plan to develop it further at first.

What follows is a series of processes that Tao Zhuo is familiar with, such as joint entrance examinations, school examinations, cultural classes in the last few months of returning to school, passing certificates from various schools, and preparing for college entrance examinations.

Some people can test more than 20 or [-] schools in the entire art test month. After all, the more tests, the more opportunities, but Li Suihan only took the test in four schools, three art schools, and one independent school.

He has always had a good idea of ​​what school he can go to, and he was not too excited when he finally received the admission letter, but was more happy for Li Yang.

In Li Yang's own words, he came here for the Academy of Fine Arts. If he slipped, he didn't know how to tell his family to come back for another year.

"Li Suihan, we will be alumni from now on." Li Yang called Li Suihan at his home, his voice could not hide the joy, "I haven't seen you in half a year."

"Miss me? See you in two months." Li Suihan said with a smile.

"Wait for me to treat you to dinner." Li Yang said.

Li Suihan said "Yo", and Li Yang burst out laughing.

Li Yang's major is mobile media, and strictly speaking, it also belongs to the experimental animation category that Li Suihan studied, but the classes are different, from the teaching building to the dormitory building are all separated.

After all, the one-year training life in Jin City has tempered Li Yang a lot. When he comes to the university dormitory, he will not be the stiff and stunned young man in the summer vacation of the second year of high school.

He knows the price of Jinshi, knows which main districts the most famous attractions are located in, and knows what affordable restaurants are near the school, and behaves like half a Jinshi native in front of his new roommates.

The most important change is that he has learned to spend money more properly, to avoid exposing his poverty and inferiority complex too much, and also learned how to dress from Li Suihan, with a calm and beautiful posture.

Just like he unconsciously relied on Li Suihan during the year of the training camp, roommates would also ask him for his thoughts and opinions when they encountered some big and small situations.

Li Yang likes the new environment of university freedom, likes to become better and better himself, and what he likes most is having an excellent friend like Li Suihan.

He can change various states as he likes in front of everyone else, from flamboyant and fierce to aloof and excellent, but in front of Li Suihan, he can still be that picky, sloppy self.

When I was bored, the first thing I thought of was Li Suihan, I wanted to go out to play and I went to look for Li Suihan, I was dissatisfied with the selection of class cadres to select outstanding students, or the homework was told by the department head but I couldn’t understand it...etc When it comes to such topics that are not easy to talk to other people, the people he thinks of are Li Suihan.

Anyway, Li Suihan always has time for him, and almost always responds to his needs. As long as he looks for it, he will take him to play and eat, and listen to him gossip about those bad things about Gou Soso among classmates and teachers.

In fact, sometimes when Li Yang is talking to himself, seeing Li Suihan's side face with drooping eyelashes that seems to be smiling but not a smile, he will suddenly feel dissatisfied with himself, and feel that the level between him and Li Suihan is separated by these trivial concerns. of.

But Li Suihan never mocked him or made any other comments, he just listened, and when Li Yang finished speaking, he gave him a drink or something small and said, "Are you comfortable?"

Li Suihan's attractiveness is the same as his kindness to people, which lies in "moisturizing things silently".

"It's comfortable." Li Yang took it over with a smile, and said casually, "Being with you is always like falling in love, otherwise you should follow me!"

Li Suihan glanced at him, only smiling.

"Wait!" Tao Zhuo's heart thumped, and he suddenly had a bad feeling, and asked Li Suihan nervously: "You two won't...you won't be the one below, right?"

Li Suihan: "..."

"Damn," Tao Zhuo swallowed, and nervously glanced at a certain part of Li Suihan, "I don't seem to be able to accept you being..."

Li Suihan didn't even bother to talk to him, so he took Tao Zhuo's hand and pressed it to himself: "What do you think?"

Tao Zhuo blushed, people's curiosity and desire for the person he liked couldn't be stopped at all, he wanted to touch more, but he was afraid that the topic he had finally got was interrupted and it would disappear, so he could only hurry up Li Suihan: "Hurry up, hurry up."

After Li Yang and Li Suihan got together, he once analyzed with Li Suihan his mental journey of becoming a homosexual, saying that he was completely passive. Unknowingly being arched.

They confirmed that the day of their relationship was very calm, it was the rainy season, and the whole campus was wet and lazy for several days in a row. Li Yang twisted his wrist and didn't want to go out to wash his hair. Seeing that he was struggling with one hand, Li Suihan pressed His head was washed for him, and after washing, a large towel was placed over his head and rubbed.

"Where are you washing the dog?" Li Yang was blindfolded, waving his hands indiscriminately to grab the towel, and touched Li Suihan's hand.

Li Suihan loosened the towel and let him wipe it by himself. Li Yang looked at him from under his tousled hair and suddenly asked, "Li Suihan, why don't you fall in love?"

"Who are you talking to?" Li Suihan leaned against the door frame and looked at him.

"Aren't you," Li Yang asked after a pause, "don't like girls?"

A person can be nice to you when they first met, and when they have a purpose. Li Yang is not a person without emotional intelligence. On the contrary, he is more sensitive to emotional perception than anyone else. I didn’t mention it before but I didn’t want to mention it. Now that he has brought it up, it means that he has accepted it in his heart, and will not alienate or change his view of Li Suihan because of it.

"Yeah." Li Suihan didn't take the initiative to say it, but Li Yang asked, and he didn't intend to hide it.

"Oh." Li Yang smiled and continued to wipe his hair, "I'll just say it."

"What are you talking about," Li Suihan said, "you want to fall in love with me?"

"Okay." Li Yang looked at him.

Whether they fall in love or not doesn't change their way of getting along. Originally, Li Suihan treated Li Yang well. He changed from a friend to a boyfriend, but it can be more direct and intimate.

The "intermittent" that Tao Zhuo is curious about is the five times of awkwardness in their love process.

The first time was when we were together for two months. On Li Yang's birthday, Li Suihan's mother's natal family had an old man who passed away. He wanted to accompany his mother back home. The time couldn't be staggered, so he took Li Yang to dinner the night before.

The meal was pleasant, but the problem came the next day, on Li Yang's birthday, he received a large bouquet of baby's breath and a bottle of men's perfume from the florist from Li Suihan.

He searched for the price of the perfume, and then called Li Suihan to ask him the price. Li Suihan said a figure that was halved, telling him not to count it, just keep it for his birthday and be happy.

Li Yang joked with him a few words, but finally couldn't hold back and said: "Actually, I really don't need to send flowers. I'm a man, and I don't like taking selfies and I don't need to..."

Li Suihan smiled on the other end of the phone and said he got it.

To be precise, that was not an awkward moment, but the first time the two had intuitively felt the difference in spending money since they were together.

The second time was that Li Yang's part-time studio had a problem with his salary, and he undercounted 60 yuan. Li Suihan said that he had missed it. Maybe he didn't check in one day, so let him know.

Li Yang struggled for a while, then said forget it.

"What's wrong?" Li Suihan looked at him strangely, "Is it embarrassing for the money you deserve?"

"If it's one or two hundred, it's okay to open your mouth, 60 yuan..." Li Yang shook his head, "Forget it."

Li Suihan felt that his way of thinking was masochistic, Li Yang explained a few more words, then frowned irritably, and said, "Don't ask, I don't understand."

This 60 yuan is indeed an embarrassing amount, and the two of them deliberately avoided this amount for a week, and Li Yang didn't ask for it when they arrived.

The third time was Li Suihan's birthday. Li Yang bought Li Suihan a coat, which was a brand he wouldn't usually buy, and the price was about the same as what Li Suihan spent on his birthday.

Li Suihan knows how much living expenses his family gives each month, how much he spends, and how much he earns from part-time jobs.He understood that this was Li Yang's expression of equality and self-esteem in giving, but it made Li Suihan feel a little distressed.

"You look better in clothes than I do." He wanted Li Yang to spend the money on himself, carefully making his expression and tone the most natural, and said, "You look better in clothes than me, so wear it yourself. I can still enjoy it every day.”

Li Yang looked at him for a while, took off his coat, smiled and said, "I have clothes, you can throw them anywhere if you don't like them."

The fourth time was when they rented a house together after graduating from undergraduate studies. Li Suihan has always had requirements for the quality of life, and he would choose the house with the best conditions in all aspects when the rent was reasonable and he was not short of money.

But Li Yang wants to choose a second-hand sublet apartment that is 800 yuan cheaper, without a balcony, and the living room is backlit.

"Just treat it as accommodating me. I'll pay for the 800 yuan, okay?" Li Suihan said in the end that he could no longer care about accommodating Li Yang's self-esteem, and almost raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm not willing to pay 800 yuan. It's only [-] yuan for each of us. I don't think there is any need to spend more money. Is it important to have a balcony or not? Although it is far away, the subway goes directly to the school. It is not a problem at all. , " Li Yang really couldn't understand Li Suihan, "You won't live here for the rest of your life, why are you so picky?"

Li Suihan didn't say any more to him, and went directly to book the house. Originally, he thought about raw rice and cooked rice, so Li Yang didn't struggle anymore. Unexpectedly, this move almost blew up the pot directly, and Li Yang didn't even want his luggage in a rage. Yes, just say goodbye.

Finally, after tossing for half a month, I still went to the backlit house without a balcony.

"No wonder you lived so far back then." Tao Zhuo's face turned bitter when he heard this, his molars and temples were sore, he couldn't understand, "Li Yang doesn't look like this, is that person?"

"He is not picky, nor is it anything else." Li Suihan stroking Tao Zhuo's hair with his hands, and said in a deep thought, "He is very motivated. He is willing to spend more money than anyone else in the software promotion class. He thinks that the money must be spent on On the cutting edge. There is no way to judge right or wrong about these things. It can only be said that we grew up in different environments and have different concepts, so the focus and angle of attention are different."

"That's right." Tao Zhuo nodded, "I never thought of paying the same price back when you bought something for me...Why am I so so?"

"Because you don't need to buy self-confidence in this way," Li Suihan smiled. "You are happy when you receive a gift, and you are also happy when you give a gift. You don't have so many worries."

"And you don't have to do that to me." He looked at Tao Zhuo and said.

"What about the fifth time?" Tao Zhuo asked, "Is it the time I saw you in Second Senior Brother?"

Li Suihan thought for a while and said, "It can be understood in this way."

The fifth time was no longer a fight, but a long breakup.

From coming out to being violently opposed by his family, Li Suihan didn't want to recall too much. He simply stated the cause and effect, and Tao Zhuo knew that neither of them planned to come out right after graduation. Li Yang was accidentally raped by his sister when he returned to his hometown. mobile phone and told my parents.

Li Suihan didn't want Li Yang to bear the pressure alone, so he also chose to tell his family.

When he was cold-blooded and violent by his parents in Jin City, Li Yang's family was in a turmoil. Li Yang's father really wanted to send his son to a rehab center. When pressing on the car, Li Yang blushed and said that Dad and I were wrong, and I broke up with him.

When Li Suihan received the breakup call, he was miraculously not particularly surprised and sad.

He has always had a subconscious feeling that Li Yang can't really get together with him, because there are too many things he can't let go of and wants to hold on tight.

If it was just separated like this, it would be a love affair that Li Suihan can recall with a smile. Tao Zhuo saw the day they "quarreled" in the back street of the school, but it was their real explosion and estrangement in concept.

That day was the last time Li Yang went to pack his things. He didn't take the postgraduate entrance examination after graduation, and he was working in a small company as a later stage. His father wanted to go back to his hometown, find him a girlfriend, and watch him "become normal."

He asked Li Suihan to come out to say goodbye, and Li Suihan accompanied him back to school to contact logistics to take away the luggage. When they walked past the place where they had been together for four years, Li Yang couldn't help but said to Li Suihan: "Actually, we don't really need to break up. I still want to be with you, can't we keep it from the family as before?"

"What about when you can't hide it?" Li Suihan asked him back.

He thought that Li Yang wanted to stick with his family again, but he didn't expect Li Yang to say, "Actually, even if I get married and you get married, it won't affect our relationship, right?"

"What?" Li Suihan frowned.

"But many homosexuals are like this. It's already very difficult. Why do you still have trouble with yourself and your family?" Li Yang explained to him anxiously, "I have only one son in my family. I can't really not get married, I can't Are you really mad at my dad?"

Li Suihan looked at him expressionlessly.

Li Yang was embarrassed by him, and said without hesitation: "You also have parents, Li Suihan, are you willing to let your parents suffer for you? Can you stop...don't be so idealistic, so naive?"

After a long silence, Li Suihan's last words to Li Yang were: "Li Yang, I used to like you very much."