Willingly ABO

Qin Yuan didn't say a word, and I didn't know what else to say. I summoned up the courage to say this to him, and sincerely hoped that he could take a new look at our relationship.

Qin Yuan suddenly let go of my hand, gently rubbed his red wrist with his fingertips, and said slowly: "...have you fallen in love with someone else?"

What... what?

I was inexplicable, how could he be so cranky?Originally, I had a bad conversation with him, but now I felt grievance mixed with anger.I shouted loudly: "What nonsense are you talking about! Qin Yuan, I like someone else? You can't slander me like this if you don't want to break up! You are too much!"

I tried to break free while his hand relaxed, but he held me tight again in the next second, and stood up abruptly. I was dragged and pulled up by him, but before I could react, I was pressed against the wall behind me again.

My center of gravity was unsteady, I fell backwards, and hit the wall heavily. The huge impact made my back hurt, and the wrist held by him burned even more.

My tears were forced out at once, and I looked at the person who pressed me against the wall in disbelief: "... Qin Yuan?"

Qin Yuan lowered his head and said nothing, but I could feel his body trembling uncontrollably.He frightened me so much, I tremblingly raised the hand that was not held by him, trying to touch his face, but he suddenly raised his head, and his thick/heavy snort hit my face.

I saw my astonishment reflected in his red eyes.

He questioned me in a trembling voice:

"Who taught you to say these words? You never questioned me before, and you never broke up with me when you made a small noise. Why did you go to Guangdong this time and come back to break up? Huh? Who taught you? Yes Who... is that Zhuang Qin? I can tell that he likes you, right? Has he confessed to you?"

His series of questions bombarded me like a bomb, and it exploded in my mind. I looked at him for a long time, and then I tugged at the corner of his clothes blankly: "Hush your voice, my dad is still outside..."

Qin Yuan leaned close to me, not giving me a chance to finish speaking at all, panting / growling heavily:

"Who am I working so hard for? Xin Gan, I don't want to tell you how tired and hard I am. I thought you knew me best, but you broke up with me so easily now? Didn't you fall in love with someone else? ?”

As he spoke, he suddenly let go of my hand, stopped half-circling me, squatted down on the ground, and muttered to himself:

"Break up? So they are all the same...It's really the same..."

I was stuck against the wall in fear, too shocked to utter a word, and the feeling of suffocation came to me frantically.What happened to Qin Yuan?He's never been this crazy.What did he say "same"?Who does he think I am "the same" as?

I suppressed my fast beating heart and swallowed painfully to take a breath.

I tried my best to control my crying, calmed down, and said to him word by word:

"Yuaner, you are under too much pressure. I shouldn't pick this time to quarrel with you. I see all your efforts, but I am also very wronged. We have a problem now. Maybe we can make each other better if we separate for a while Do you think I want to break up? I have loved you for so many years, almost ten years, I love you so much, how can I be willing to separate from you? Don’t you understand how sad I am? Do not love? Don't you think you are tearing my heart?"

"Do you know that you make me feel particularly insecure, the gap between us is getting bigger and bigger, I want to catch up with you, but you don't let me go after you, if this goes on, we will have less and less common topics, and the environment will become worse. It's getting different, have you considered what the consequences will be?"

Qin Yuan didn't hear me at all, he seemed to be immersed in a very painful memory, he squatted in place, looked up at me, his eyes were full of pain, as if he saw someone through me, or connected me with someone overlapped.

After a while, he stood up in a trance, stared at me deeply, and whispered to me as usual, but what he said made my heart feel like a knife:

"Xin Gan, you said I cut your heart, do you still have a heart? Are you the one who gave me a sense of security? We broke up and became friends again? You said it too lightly, but if you really love me, you won't Say those two words easily."

"But I love you, so I can't be friends with you again."

He curled his fingers and spoke weakly:

"If you want to break up, break up."

I couldn't tell if he was speaking quickly, or if he had really made up his mind, so I got angry and vomited at him:

"Okay, if you have a share, you can leave. Anyway, you will move out of Baofu after graduation next month. From now on, we will be ex-neighbors, and there will be no other relationship."

After that, he turned his head away.

Qin Yuan took a deep look at me, and he didn't want to look any more. He walked to the door of the room, and the moment he pressed the doorknob, he paused, turned his back to me, and finally said to me: "... I hope you and Zhuang Qin can get a good ranking in the competition."

Then he turned and walked out the door without looking back.

I heard my little dad chasing him outside the house: "Xiaoyuan! What's going on! Why did you leave after eating half of it! Where is Xingan!"

"Uncle Gu, I have to leave temporarily, you can eat slowly, Xin Gan is tired, you can take a look at him later, I'm leaving—"

Qin Yuan's voice went from near to far through the door, and finally completely disappeared.

Snapped--

He just left me and this family.

I leaned my back against the wall, and my body softened the moment I heard the door closing, and I slid to the ground.I finally couldn't bear it anymore and wept bitterly.

Why did I try so hard to communicate with him and end up pushing him further away?Whose problem is this?Is it me?

But I'm tired, I don't want to be sensible and obedient anymore, I don't want to be around him like this anymore, I want to be the original me who loves to laugh, make trouble, and act like a baby, instead of worrying and fearing all day long, living in worry all the time me.

What I want is to laugh side by side with my lover, not to chase after my lover's back, and fear that I won't be able to catch up for the rest of my life.Is there any difference between this and the pain I suffered when I had a crush on Qin Yuan?

It's better not to talk about this love.

There was a knock on the door, and Dad asked hesitantly through the door:

"Son, are you okay? You and Qin Yuan..."

I wiped away my tears and answered hoarsely:

"It's okay, we just quarreled, he has something to ask him to go, leave him alone, you can eat yours, I can't eat, I will eat later."

Dad said in a calm voice, "Son, if Qin Yuan dares to bully you, tell him, and your dad will beat him up for you!"

I supported the wall and stood up from the ground, staggered into the bed, and buried myself in the pillow, "...it's okay, don't talk about it, let me rest for a while, I'll be fine in a while..."

The room fell silent for a moment, and just when I thought they were all gone, suddenly there were two knocks on the door again, and the little dad said softly: "Son, if you can't get along with Qin Yuan, we won't get along. Dad knows that you like Qin Yuan very much, but love is sometimes about fate. If you two can be good friends after so many years, if you can't be good lovers, maybe you are not the same person for each other... Let go when you are tired, and have a good rest. "

Yes, if you are tired, why don't I let go?

Probably because I was unwilling.

Tears soaked the pillow, and I lay face down on the bed and fell into a deep sleep.

Qin Yuan and I broke up badly. After that day, the only time he contacted me was when he sent me a voice message.

He sounded very calm in the message:

"I'm sorry Xin Gan, last time I was impulsive. I never felt that there was a gap between us. On the contrary, I always wanted to hold you firmly. If you think that the distance between us has been pulled, we will never be able to stand Going back to a parallel line, we can’t be lovers...friends again. You are right, let’s separate for a while, and when we all settle down and find our own focus in life, we can sit down and talk calmly again. Congratulations again You got a good result in the photo contest."

This is his emphasis on the photography competition again. The fact that Zhuang Qin and I will spend more than half a year traveling around the world to collect scenery seems to be a knot in his heart.I'm really depressed, Zhuang Qin and I have only known each other for less than a week, why does he suspect that I have an unclear relationship with Zhuang Qin?

Since then, Qin Yuan has never contacted me again.That's right, I told him to leave. From now on, he and I are ex-neighbors and have no other relationship.

Qin Yuan graduated, got a job, and moved.And I started an internship, prepared the topic of the thesis, and participated in the National College Student Photography Competition with Zhuang Qin and the others.

Since Qin Yuan doesn't believe that I signed up for the competition purely because I like photography and want to prove myself, then I should get a good ranking, and then I will throw the award and bonus in his face. Let's see what he has to say!

Zhuang Qin was very puzzled by my sudden uplifting attitude, so I told him: "I want to get a bonus, let Qin Yuan see how much the money is! How amazing I am!"

It's just that Zhuang Qin misunderstood me, thinking that I planned to earn a bonus for Qin Yuanhua.After that, at a dinner party, I was so drunk that I accidentally told him about the "broken relationship" with Qin Yuan.

"You treat him as a real friend! You have a crush on him! You want to make money to support his business! He treats you like this! Is he still human? He's just a white-eyed wolf!"

After a meal, Qin Yuan was labeled as a "white-eyed wolf" for no reason, and I was too drunk to correct Zhuang Qin's misunderstanding. I woke up the next day and forgot everything, but I always felt that since then, Zhuang Qin There are some inexplicable prejudices against this influential figure in the School of Economics and Management.

In the days without Qin Yuan, time passed quickly. It seemed that once I was distracted by other things, so that I would not have time to think about him, the days would pass by in a hurry.

I followed the school magazine and the photography department through five trials and passed six generals, all the way from the audition to the final. With the joint efforts of everyone, our series of group photos with the theme of "YouandMe" won the laurels in the final of the photography competition .

From when we decided to cooperate to when we were honored, a year flew by like this.

I ended my ivory tower life and was about to embark on a new journey.

What about Qin Yuan?How is he?

How I want to get in touch with him again, like an old friend, and ask him how he is doing.

...I still miss him.

The author says:

It will be in the stomach in half a year! ! !