The abyss is insurmountable

I stayed by his side.

Maybe we should all know that the first time those moist black eyes looked at me, they fell into the cage and imprisoned us both.

Outside of meals, I can only see his small figure on the third floor when I occasionally take a walk in the garden.Unfortunately, I couldn't see what he was doing.

Oh, and I'm not a peeping tom, but I'm really eager to know everything about him.

Out of guilt?

Yes.But not all.

Even if we don't owe each other, I will still be impatient to know everything about him, even more so than now.

I only occasionally glanced at him at the dinner table, and even meeting his eyes was enough to make me excited for several days.

I used to long for us to look at each other, get acquainted, and get entangled again, but now, I actually look at him, and I don't want anything else.Even looking at his small back from a distance has become a good medicine for me.I temporarily entrusted the business of the company.Occasionally, I will also look at the things Xiao Tan is dealing with, and then make some adjustments.

What, it's all work that doesn't consume much energy?

Of course, my energy and time are used elsewhere.

Obuchi likes to draw, so I will too.When I first sat on the edge of the studio, he would close the door or hide away from me.

But I deliberately held up my drawing board and said to him: "Look, if you draw, I will draw too!"

Sure enough, he would not close the door again, day after day, even acquiescing to my invasion, and I sat in his studio little by little.

Now the distance between me and him is only a matter of a few seconds, and I am finally no longer squatting downstairs looking up at him!

So I often draw down the way he draws with a brush and show it to him. He looked at it, frowned and said to me: "Laid! Laid! Laid! (Ugly!)"

"Xiao Yuan thinks my drawing is not good-looking?!" I am always surprised, "Then don't move, be a model for me, practice and catch up with you!"

To be honest, I really don't have any interest in writing and drawing, let alone let me do this kind of boring mechanical practice with peace of mind. I can sit there for two or three hours in peace, entirely because of the people in front of me. It's him, that's all.

Hannibal would occasionally serve two cups of coffee, watching my boring behavior, showing a gentle smile, and I always proudly declared my victory.

He would laugh in a low voice for a while, and then praise me: "Wonderful!", or sometimes frowning and laughing: "Aha, youcunninglittledevil!"

Of course, I don't always stay with Yu Yuan, he needs people to watch from a distance, but I don't cling to him every step of the way - that will only make him more resistant to getting along with others.So, more often, I stay with this elegant French man.

In fact, it is not difficult to see that Hannibal is not well-off, and can even be called tight.

But, artists are all people who would rather starve to death than accept the food that comes with them. I can only become picky about flowers, so that I can have an excuse to make big purchases at my own expense, and then everyone will eat and use them together.I don't know how much Hannibal can see, but at least I can save the country with a curve.

With Yu Yuan, the days become brighter in an instant, and it has been a long time since I felt that this world is so refreshing and ecstatic.Maybe it's because people with more money are often very lucky. In short, good things always follow.

Now, Yu Yuan can even have a short contact with me without getting mad or resisting.Just don't overreact.

"Xiao Yuan."

With his back to me, he was squatting on the ground, holding a paintbrush in his hand.

I walked over gently and stroked his hair.I hope he can get used to the physical contact between us as soon as possible, after all, we will spend the rest of our lives together.

To my surprise he didn't flinch, just remained obediently motionless.

"Did you paint these?" I asked him with a smile, and pointed to the paintings in the whole room with my other hand.

He ignored me and remained squatting there, motionless.

"May I see it?"

He didn't look back, just turned a little sideways, his thick eyelashes flickered and flickered, and after a long time, he nodded slightly.

I lifted the canvas covering the largest painting, and what I saw completely awed me.Like a sharp knife, accusing me of how ridiculous and cruel my past actions were.

The black pupils were filled with blood and tears, and maggots, mosquitoes and flies all entered and exited them. The twisted and sticky feeling gave me a chill.Then, my sight needs to pass through all the light and shadow and pain in that eye, and finally see—that end is me.

That is my light, faint back, as if it will be scattered as soon as I touch it.

When Yu Yuan noticed it, he jumped up suddenly, ran over and pushed me away vigorously, then covered the huge canvas, dragged it away, and hid it in a corner of the chaotic studio.

I watched his angry movements, but I couldn't untie my wrinkled heart.In his heart, does he think it's better that I don't know?Do you think that if I know it, I won’t be moved by it?

Have you ever felt like Yu Yuan?

You love someone with all your heart, and you have to bear it and tolerate it in every possible way.All the patience and tolerance you have have been left to him as much as possible. Even if that person hurts you again and again, you can still forget the past and pay each other sincerely again.

But that person was unmoved, he stubbornly believed that you were just his vassal.He is still a philanderer, but occasionally he will think of you and need you when he is bored and lonely.

- I'm such an idiot.

He was born as an ordinary little boy in the market, but he endured the top criticism and malice.Few people could walk into his heart, and few people could understand him, but he chose to live well and completely, even though his life was fragmented.

How much courage does this require?

I'm really grateful that he didn't choose to end his life, he chose to wait for me.Choose to wait for me in a chaotic darkness.Even if the result is uncertain, even if he doesn't know if I will come or not.

I looked back at him, he was still the same, shrunk into a ball, still in that clumsy posture that made me feel extremely distressed.I wanted to hug him and tell him I love him, but the truth is, if I did, it would just scare him away.So I have to endure until he can accept me calmly.Endure until he falls in love with me again.

As a layman, what I have the most now is time and love for him, an endless and limitless love.

I can wait, until the next spring, summer, autumn, winter, until the door of his heart opens to me again, I will never leave him alone to the storm again.I finally learned how to miss the world, I finally learned how to really love him.

It should be understood that his love is the main theme of my life, not a dispensable background music.

Should have understood earlier.But it's not too late to understand in your lifetime.

After hesitation and refusal, Hannibal finally decided to let me take him away.

"Mr. Nan, I think there are some things you must know."

Hannibal's deep and hoarse voice came to my ears, and I listened to him confidently and patiently. At this moment, I just want to know why he did this-this must be an important reason.

"He didn't mean to reject you, do you understand? For some reasons, he is now suffering from autism. But as for what caused it, I haven't been able to know.

"...But I know he is willing to go with you. Sometimes he will secretly look at you - this is very rare for Yu Yuan. As a... special patient, he resists all contact with everyone. But ...In short, I can really feel that you are different to him.

"But he trusts you, or relies on you. I don't know, he is still a lover to you now, but this is why I finally decided to let you take him away... Sir, I hope you understand, I want you to remember - I'm not half-joking.

"At the same time, you must also promise me, Mr. Nan—you have to treat him well.

"I once...I promised him not to betray him, to give him to someone else, I even made foolish promises, but I... well... look at me, sorry, sir... I mean Said, therefore, he will no longer trust me. In other words, only you can guard him in the future.

"can you do it?"

"No, no, you must promise me, and you must do it!"

His brown eyes looked at me with a dark, sad look.As long as I meet those eyes, it seems that the elegant aristocratic atmosphere of the Middle Ages immediately surrounds me.Even if he has fine lines at the corners of his eyes, even if his handsome face is no longer youthful.

Yu Yuan behind him poked his head out, looked at him, and then at me timidly, realizing that I was also looking at him, he immediately retracted his head and closed the door.

"Not only do I promise, I swear with everything I have, including my life—from now on, Yu Yuan will not be wronged in the slightest. Even if I die before him one day, I will arrange for him to escape, Let him live his life decently and calmly."

"Thank you."

Hanni turned his back, but it was still a little slower than the tears falling.

I put my hand on his shoulder: "Hannibal, you should be thankful. Without you, I might never meet him again..."

Hannibal didn't speak, but nodded.

"Although Yu Yuan couldn't say it, he definitely wanted to say something like this in his heart—thank you, sir. Please continue to live in such a chic and beautiful way in the future, and be an unrestrained, romantic, and invincible person." genius!"

When we decided to leave, we brought a few boxes, which were the belongings that Hanni dialed to pack for Yu Yuan. I didn't refuse, and I had no reason to refuse.

Of course, I left him nothing.

Don’t treat others—especially artists—as beggars. Without me, wouldn’t he have survived to this day?Probably because I believe that everyone has their own destiny. In the future, he will not let me help, and in the future, I will not help. This is the best.

We said goodbye briefly, and when we were about to leave, Yu Yuan suddenly dragged out a huge oil painting with a height of two meters, and then he turned his head in a rare way, and said to Hannibal, "Here it is for you."

Then, without giving me a chance to react, I just walked out the door sullenly.I hurriedly bid farewell to Hanni and caught up with him.

There is a car waiting outside the door that will take us to the airport for the rest of our lives.

In a place where none of us could see, in the studio shrouded in the afterglow of the setting sun, Hannibal almost tremblingly opened the painting.

The sun and the moon shine together, surrounded by fireflies, olive leaves are worn on the head of each soul, clear springs flow back to the sky, flowers bloom in rock crevices, clocks and clocks are turned into muddy water, and angels fall drunk at everyone's feet.The end is the eternal day, the heat, the absolute light, and the absolute distance.

The golden light came in, dyed the painting, and also dyed Hannibal's eyebrows.The vicissitudes of the eyebrows and eyes looked at and looked at again, and finally, Hannibal would put on a smile.

He'll dance one more song, sing "Ramuntcho" one more time, pour himself another shot of stout.

Broken fabrics are spliced ​​back into canvases, and shutters tear up the daylight.

Finally, at the end, he will say: "Ilneneigepasicienhiver.Iln'yapasdelimite,ici,jouretnuit.J'aitoujoursenviedevoirlesoleilbrillerdemain.J'aihtedevoirmonange.Monangeestdanschaquemonde."

Good night, Hannibal.

The author has something to say: "Ilneneigepasicienhiver.Iln'yapasdelimite,ici,jouretnuit.J'aitoujoursenviedevoirlesoleilbrillerdemain.J'aih?tedevoirmonange.Monangeestdanschaquemonde."

It doesn’t snow in winter here/There’s no dividing line between day and night here/I still long to see the brilliance of the bright sun/I long to see my angel/My angel/He is in every world

Good night, Hannibal.

morning everyone.