old cosmic particle

21

On New Year's Eve, it began to rain continuously, and the slanting raindrops were cold and sharp, hitting the face like needles.Holding a red umbrella, Ou Huiye was walking on Beifeng Street at the head of the Yuanci Second Bridge.He bought a barrel of oil, two packs of salt, and a pack of cigarettes from the only small shop that was still open at the head of the Second Bridge in Yuanci.Father is not at home, just him and mother, mother has just had an operation and it is inconvenient to walk on the ground.

The mother had an abortion, and it was his brother or possibly his sister.That day when he sat at the door of the operating room and saw his mother being pushed out, he actually missed his relatives who were strangled in the womb before they were born.It was still an embryo, Ou Huiye thought, before it could turn into a human, it died and was scraped to pieces by cold instruments, leaving only a mass of rotten flesh.

When Ou Huiye walked into the elevator, there was another person in the elevator, and he didn't pay attention to that person's face.Ou Huiye was about to press the floor number, but when he found that the number on his floor was on, he realized that something was wrong. He wanted to exit the elevator, but the elevator had already closed the door.Nan Yuan stood at the corner of the elevator, Ou Huiye didn't dare to look back at him.Ou Huiye took out his mobile phone, but there was no signal and no mobile games, so he could only check the time and stuff it into his purse.

"Are you afraid of me?" Nan Yuan suddenly said.

"I'm afraid of death," Ou Huiye turned sideways to stare at Nan Yuan.

Nan Yuan laughed out loud, "Don't worry, I won't rape you."

Ou Huiye frowned, he was angry, "Please go to the mental hospital and get cured before you come out, don't be scary."

Nan Yuan didn't speak until the elevator door opened. Ou Huiye couldn't wait to go out, took out the key, opened the door quickly, and closed it with a bang when Nan Yuan reached the door.

After the New Year's Eve dinner in the evening, the rain stopped.Ou Huiye was watching the Spring Festival Gala, and the program was broadcast to cross talk, he and his father laughed so hard that they almost choked on the wine.It was at this time that Nan Yuan called. Ou Huiye didn't save Nan Yuan's mobile phone number, so he answered the phone cheerfully, and said with a smile, hello.

Don't hang up, can we talk?Nan Yuan's voice was sincere, humble and sad.Ou Huiye put away his smile, the gentle almost begging tone softened his cold heart a little.He didn't understand how he could like someone so much, so humble.

Ou Huiye stood up, walked into the room, and closed the door.

"What do you want to talk about?" Ou Huiye said.

"Actually, we have nothing to talk about," Nan Yuan laughed at himself.

"Then hang up."

"I guess this is the last time I'll call you."

"Ah."

"Ou Huiye," Nan Yuan called his name lightly, like a sigh. "You asked me why I like you. I thought for a long time, but I still couldn't find the answer. I said you were like the sun. Some people laughed at me, why didn't I say that I was like the moon and stars. In fact, I also think this metaphor is quite disgusting."

"...You know it too."

"Haha, I've thought about it. You are right to reject me. The future is still very long. Even if we are together, we will definitely change our minds in the future. We will meet more people and love more and more people. It's not you Leaving me means I abandon you. Being together for a lifetime is too illusory and too whimsical, not to mention that we don't have the bond that can support our relationship, such as children, such as a marriage certificate."

"Damn it, you think a lot, but that's not why I rejected you, do you understand?"

"I understand, you don't like men."

"Just understand, so I don't have to say it again."

Nan Yuan was quiet for a while, and Ou Huiye heard bursts of fiery wind coming from the receiver.

"If I disappear from your life from this day on, will you remember me in the future?"

"I will definitely remember. After all, there is a man who I have known for several years. He said he likes me and wants to have a date with me. I will never forget it even if I want to."

"Yuanci is too small, and there are few people. After two years, when you go to university, you will meet many people like me. Maybe you won't be surprised. Gradually, you will forget about me."

"Do you want me to remember you?"

"Hope." Nan Yuan said honestly.

Ou Huiye didn't want to give Nan Yuan too much expectation, he pursed his lips and said, "I don't like you, why should I remember you? To be honest, I really hate homosexuality."

When Ou Huiye heard Nan Yuan laughing, he thought it was a very happy laugh. Ou Huiye was a little nervous. He clenched his phone tightly for fear of hearing heart-piercing screams.Nan Yuan didn't scream, he laughed for a while and then stopped, he continued to say to Ou Huiye, "Can you come out, there are stars, and the fireworks I set off, just tonight."

Ou Huiye seemed to be bewitched by Nan Yuan's unexpectedly calm and soft voice, he said, okay.Then Ou Huiye put on his coat, ignored his mother's inquiry, opened the door, and walked out.He walked out of the community and stood on the sidewalk of Beifeng Street.He put the mobile phone to his ear, and he asked Nan Yuan, where are you?

When the fireworks shot up into the night sky and exploded, Nan Yuan said in his mobile phone, Ou Huiye, turn back.

The moment Ou Huiye turned his head, a figure fell high and landed in front of Ou Huiye, splashing brain plasma and blood flying around, and surrounded the stunned Ou Huiye almost tragically.Nan Yuan was lying in the plasma, motionless, the mobile phone was tightly clutched in his hand, and a white letter was still held in his right hand, but at this moment it was soaked in bright red blood.

Ou Huiye was always thinking that maybe this was when he hated homosexuality so much. How could homosexuality be so terrible? He didn’t get the love he expected, so he jumped from a tall building at the cost of his life, and in front of him, It fell to pieces and turned into a mass of rotten flesh, just like my unborn relatives, the last thing left in this world is a red mass of fuzzy flesh.

In the following days, Ou Huiye couldn't forget Nan Yuan for a moment. Nan Yuan's voice and smile firmly occupied his mind, and he was everywhere, and that bright red scene became a part of Ou Huiye's short life. The deepest memory cannot be scratched off or thrown away no matter what.Ke Ou Huiye didn't love him, never loved him.He seemed to have turned into a small drop of blood, which splashed between Ou Huiye's eyebrows and penetrated into Ou Huiye's brain, where he happily swam and played, swam from one blood vessel to another, drilled out, and talked with the cells .

The colorful fireworks above his head were still blooming, embellishing the starry night sky, Ou Huiye raised his head, thinking, Nan Yuan didn't lie to him, there really are stars.The phone slipped out of his hand, he blinked, the bright starry sky dazzled his eyes after the rain, he fell back on the ground, his eyes were still open, but his limbs were numb.

Su Weiyi wiped his wet hair and came out of the bathroom. The TV was counting down the new year. His mother was celebrating the New Year at his grandmother's house, but he didn't go. His father asked him to go to his father's place for the New Year, but he didn't go either.He picked up a ruddy apple from the coffee table, took a bite, walked into the room, and was going to sleep with a handful of League of Legends.

Su Weiyi, Su Weiyi.

He heard someone calling him, it was a girl's voice, that girl was standing on Su Weiyi's bed dripping wet, with water plants hanging on her red coat, she showed a compassionate expression. "

Su Weiyi, Su Weiyi.

She kept repeating these three words, and the dripping drops of water on her body fell onto the clean and tidy bed sheets, which were new sheets that her mother had just changed for him before she left.Su Weiyi was a little angry, he picked up the book on the table and threw it at the girl. "New bed sheet, quickly get it off for me, you're dead, why are you looking for me?"

The girl in red was frightened. She raised her hands to protect her face, and appeared in the living room in the next second. The river water flowed down from the hem of her clothes and merged into a water line that curved on the floor tiles.Su Weiyi, Su Weiyi, she is still calling Su Weiwei's name.

"Are you annoying?" Su Weiyi glared at the girl in red, "I don't have paper money to burn for you, go back to the grave."

Su Weiyi picked up the remote control and turned up the volume of the TV, trying to cover up the girl in red's chanting voice.He put down the remote control, and then saw Nan Yuan standing under the doorframe of his room.

Su Weiyi, Nan Yuan also called out his name.

"What?"

Within a few hours, the news of Nan Yuan's suicide spread throughout Beifeng Street.When Su Weiyi heard the siren of an ambulance and a police car, he opened the window and lay down on the window sill, surrounded by a group of people. Nan Yuan's mother almost fainted from crying.He also saw Ou Huiye being carried on a stretcher, and An Xiuwen standing blankly outside the crowd, at a loss.

Happy New Year, Nam-won says, smiling softly.

Later, a woman wearing a nurse's uniform and a nurse's cap also appeared in Su Weiyi's home. She stood side by side with the girl in red, with two faces and one expression, looking at Su Weiyi with sadness and pity.

They opened their mouths and said in unison, Su Weiyi, Su Weiyi.

Su Weiyi ran to the kitchen, took out a handful of incense from the refrigerator, lit them all, and stuck them on white candles with a radius of three centimeters.He placed the white candle in front of the nurse and the girl in red, and bowed, "Don't bother me, thank you."

The nurse and the girl in red stood there all the time, wherever Su Weiyi went, their eyes would turn there, Su Weiyi, Su Weiyi.Instead, Nan Yuan disappeared. He gradually became transparent on the door frame, and finally drifted into the chandelier like a wisp of smoke.Su Weiyi closed the door firmly, covered himself with a quilt, and plugged in his earphones so that he couldn't hear him, he thought.