After Transmigrating into Cannon Fodder White Moonlight [Transmigration Book]

Later they went to ride the Ferris wheel together, and it was easy to get up after queuing for a long time. Ruan Miao was a little afraid of heights, and her body was stiff and did not dare to move, but Zhou Yuancen was very relaxed. She leaned against the window and looked down. When she reached the highest position, she looked at the small crowd below with amazement, and said softly: "No wonder everyone likes to ride the Ferris wheel. The view here is so good."

"Yes." Ruan Miao turned her head and took a look.

Zhou Yuancen lay quietly on the window looking down, and asked after a long time, "Miao Miao, are you happy?"

"Happy." Ruan Miao quickly answered her.

Zhou Yuancen smiled: "Then I'm happy too."

Ruan Miao's heart ached again at this moment. In fact, he knew that this was Zhou Yuancen's farewell to him before he left. The amusement park was probably her last regret and wish, because she couldn't bring her children to play. So I feel guilty all the time.

They stayed in the amusement park until the crowd gradually dispersed at night, and they were willing to leave only after a few lonely people were left. Zhou Yuancen was content today, lively like a girl all the way, and talked twice as much as usual.

The next day, Ruan Miao went to the photo studio to find someone to print out the photos, and chose an ivory white photo frame. After putting the photos in, he happily went to the hospital. He thought Zhou Yuancen would be happy to see it.

When she opened the door, Zhou Yuancen was already waiting for him. She was pleasantly surprised when she saw that the photo had been uploaded, and quickly took it over.In the photo, she is wearing a long black dress with a sweet smile, and Ruan Miao beside her is also smiling, her left hand is still straddling his right, and the two are in an intimate posture, they seem to be a pair of mother and son who have a good relationship .

She looked at the photo for a long time, brushed her finger over Ruan Miao's smiling face in the photo, and suddenly said softly, "Thank you."

"What?" Ruan Miao was also looking at the photo, and heard her thanking herself, but didn't understand what she meant for a while.

Zhou Yuancen raised his head, looked directly at Ruan Miao's face, and said solemnly: "Fortunately, you are with me, thank you."

"Actually, I have known for a long time that you are not my son."

Ruan Miao's smile froze. He looked at Zhou Yuan Cen Wuxi Wubei's face, and he was stuck in the next sentence. He was flustered. This kind of panic was completely different from being discovered by He Shangye and Jian Fanyu, because the two People don't have particularly deep feelings for themselves, so even if they are found to be replaced, he will not feel particularly guilty.

But this is Zhou Yuancen.

Maybe it was because the panic on his face was too obvious, Zhou Yuancen patted his hand with a smile: "Why are you nervous? I didn't blame you, don't be afraid."

Ruan Miao regained her composure and said in a stuttering voice, "You, when did you find out?"

Zhou Yuancen shook his head helplessly, "I knew it at the first glance. How could there be a mother in this world who can't recognize her child? Even though you look exactly the same on the outside, you are not the same person on the inside."

"What's more, your acting skills are really clumsy, and your brain is not bright. I'm afraid you don't even have half the intelligence of my son."

Ruan Miao blushed, lowered her head and apologized mutteringly: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"I know." Zhou Yuancen said softly, "I'm not blaming you, I just want to ask, is my child... is he still there?"

In fact, she knew it was useless to ask, if her son was still there, how could he let this child appear instead of him?

Ruan Miao shook her head guiltily and said: "I don't know, I, I was originally from another place, died of illness, and then came here as soon as I opened my eyes, Mom, I didn't mean to lie to you, I... I didn't Dare to tell you this."

Seeing that he was about to shed tears as he spoke, Zhou Yuancen smiled, "What are you in a hurry for? I've said everything and didn't blame you."

"Since I didn't disclose your identity at the beginning, it means that I have other ideas." Zhou Yuancen sighed, "I have never had a good relationship with that child. He doesn't like me, so he won't take the initiative to talk to me for a few months. He gets impatient every time I talk to him on the phone, and we almost never sit down and talk peacefully."

"Actually, I know that this is caused by myself. I didn't grow up with him when he was a child, but when he grew up, I pushed him into He Shangye's side and forced him to do things he didn't like, so he blamed me, and I could do it too." Accept." Zhou Yuancen paused at this point, endured and said: "But I was going to die, and then I realized that I owed him too much, and I missed him very much."

"I pretended you to be him, watched you smile at me, made me happy, and talked with me. I pretended that he was with me. At least I could lie to myself. My Miaomiao forgave me. He also loves me." mine……"

Ruan Miao silently clenched her hand, just like every time she was sad.

Zhou Yuancen also held his hand, but still couldn't help crying: "I thought it would be good to just leave like this in a daze, pretending to be a loving mother and son, but I dreamed about him last night, and when I woke up I I just feel... I'm really a bad mother."

"I never really got to know him one day, never loved him, never comforted him, never gave him a safe haven like other mothers. The child treats him as..."

Zhou Yuancen cried with tears all over her face. She had never been so embarrassed. Even though she had cried more than once in front of Ruan Miao before, she was never sad and desperate this time. It seems that I want to tell all these things to the children who don't know if they are still there.

"He must be dead, right?" Zhou Yuancen seemed to be asking Ruan Miao, but said with certainty, "I can feel that he is gone."

Ruan Miao opened her mouth, unable to answer her question.

"When he left, he must have been alone." Zhou Yuancen trembled slightly, "He has been afraid of the dark since he was a child, and he was afraid of being alone, but I let him die alone... I, I... ..."

Seeing her crying uncontrollably, Ruan Miao's eyes turned red, and he tried to comfort her: "No, you are just an ordinary person, so you don't have to blame yourself..."

In fact, his nose is also very sore, but he feels that he can't cry with him, otherwise Zhou Yuancen's emotions will collapse further, which is not good for her health, so he can only try to stabilize her and try to get her out of the whirlpool. Pull it out.

After crying for a while, Zhou Yuancen gradually calmed down under his comfort. She looked at the child who cared about her with swollen eyes, forced a smile, and asked with a sob: "Do you think he hates me?"

Ruan Miao thought about it seriously, "I shouldn't hate it."

"Why?" Zhou Yuancen didn't believe it, "He must hate me very much, that's why he left so decisively. If he didn't commit suicide, then where did you come from?"

"He must have been very disappointed in this world, that's why he left so without nostalgia. He must hate me in his heart."

Ruan Miao shook her head firmly and said, "No, it's not that you don't love him, it's just that you're living too hard, so you also want to make yourself feel better. Before you're a mother, you're a woman first."

"My mother once said that the greatest meanness to women in the world is to ask them to be a perfect mother, but in fact no one is born a good mother. Before she can become a mother, she must first be a person."

"Everyone has the right to be selfish, but when she becomes a mother, this right is taken away, and no one cares if she is in pain."

Ruan Miao recalled his mother, and he hoped that at least in the last time, Zhou Yuancen would not have to bear so much guilt and self-blame, "I think maybe he understands you too."

"Really?" Zhou Yuancen was not convinced, but she really hoped to get some hope from it, "He doesn't hate me?"

"I don't think so." Ruan Miao nodded, "Because he is also a very good boy. If he hates you, he won't just leave. Maybe he is also tired and wants to be alone."

Zhou Yuancen seemed to have a little hope after hearing his words. She looked down at the photo and then said: "It's okay, I will go to accompany him soon, maybe he is still waiting for me over there .”

"When I go too, he won't be alone."

After looking at it for a while, she looked up again, looked at Ruan Miao and said, "Can you tell me about your mother? I really want to know that you can raise such a good child."

Ruan Miao was stunned, and then her figure appeared in her mind, "My mother, she is the most gentle and strong person I have ever seen. She was also very bitter when she was young. Her grandfather passed away when she was young, and her grandmother Relying on subsistence allowances to raise her."

"She graduated from university with a scholarship alone, and was always harassed by her boss after she started working. She resigned her job and started her own business in a fit of rage. So she must not be able to bear hardships, she never bothered to argue with those people, it is said that her poor health later was due to working too hard in the early days, but fortunately she met my father later. "

"My father is a university professor. They have a very good relationship. After having my brother, I was born again several years ago. My mother said that when she named me, a new sapling was planted in the garden at home. She would like to call it I'm Miao Miao."

"She always said that she hoped that I would be like that little sapling, grow up with tenacity and steadfastness, no matter the wind or rain, I would be able to survive whatever difficulties I encountered."

When Ruan Miao said this, she scratched her head in embarrassment: "But I should make her very sad, because I didn't make it through in the end, and died on the hospital bed."

"My mother is the best mother in my heart. She is not perfect and sometimes makes mistakes, but it doesn't matter. I know how much she loves me, and I love her too."

Zhou Yuancen listened to him fascinatedly, and couldn't help nodding and said: "Your mother is indeed a very good mother, if only I had her as strong back then."

"Don't say that." Ruan Miao said softly, "You are already very strong, and what happened to you might have collapsed a long time ago, but you have never given up for so many years. You are also a good mother, but everyone expresses love. Just in a different way.”

Zhou Yuancen looked at Ruan Miao with tears in his eyes, raised his hand to gently caress his face, "Miao Miao, can you call me 'Mom' again?"

"Mom." Ruan Miao called out with a smile, "Since I came here and took your son's body, I have to take on his life. You are also my mother."

Zhou Yuancen hugged him.

"I hope I can be a good mother like your mother in my next life."

"I wish I could meet him again."

In this life, the only thing she owes is the child who is long gone. If she is lucky enough to have the opportunity to become a mother and child again in the next life, she will definitely not be wrong again.

At the time, Ruan Miao thought she had seen it off, and the next day he carried the oranges he had just bought and went to the hospital. When he opened the door, he found that Zhou Yuancen didn't look up and smile at him as usual. He already had a premonition in his heart. When walking over lightly, I saw her lying on the bed neatly dressed and putting on makeup, with her hands on her chest, tightly holding the photo frame of the two together, with a slight smile on her lips.

Ruan Miao's tears burst into tears, and she slowly squatted down and lay down beside the bed.

She was still thinking about it until she died.