double rebirth

"I know."

Shen Zequn looked at him and smiled wryly, but still wanted to reach out and touch his face, rubbing the corners of his eyes that were reddish from anger and drunkenness with his fingertips.

Ren Qing looked at him sullenly, stretched out his hand and pushed him.Because of the effect of alcohol, Ren Qing only felt dry and hot all over, and he was about to unbutton his coat, but he couldn't unbutton a single one after fiddling for a long time.

Shen Zequn sat aside and watched him, and then moved his hand for him.Ren Qing's brain was in an unclear state, and his head was lowered one after another, and he could hardly sit still.

Shen Zequn was afraid that he would fall to the ground, so he squatted down in front of him. Sure enough, Ren Qing fell into Shen Zequn's arms before holding on for a few seconds.

"Why do you drink so much..."

Shen Zequn murmured distressedly, thinking that this was not an option, he simply hugged him up, kicked open the bedroom door and put him on the bed, and put his shoes, coat and tie Take it off.

After sending Ren Qing home that day, his elder sister called and said that the old man's condition was very bad, probably recently, and Shen Zequn had been staying at the hospital for the past few days.

Although Shen Zequn did not come to see Ren Qing as agreed, he still found someone to take care of him. He knew that Ren Qing was invited to this banquet a few days ago, and at night he heard that Ren Qing drank too much. Only then did he rush over directly from the nursing home.

He had been waiting outside the community, but Liu Chuan sent Ren Qing home. Shen Zequn felt that he would conflict with Liu Chuan if he appeared, so he waited until he left before going up.He didn't think that Ren Qing would drink so much, his palms were sweaty when he rang the doorbell, and he didn't even know what to say in the first sentence, he was afraid that Ren Qing would be kicked out by him once the door was closed.

But looking at it now, luckily he came over.

"Well……"

Ren Qing let out a muffled snort, and was about to sit up with his hands propped up but his limbs were limp. Shen Zequn hurriedly moved closer: "What's wrong?"

"bathroom……"

Shen Zequn understood, carried him into the bathroom, Ren Qing stood there unsteadily, and Shen Zequn stood behind him to protect him.But Ren Qing took off his pants after finishing his convenience, and Shen Zequn saw that he wanted to take a bath, so he quickly sat him down on the toilet: "Don't wash today, okay?"

"not good."

Ren Qing answered honestly, taking off the last shirt on his body again and again, Shen Zequn looked at the trousers thrown not far away, which looked like Ren Qing now, and finally sighed: "Okay then, I will take off my clothes I will wash it for you."

……

In a daze, Ren Qing felt that there were many voices converging in his body like hundreds of rivers entering the sea, including the sound of water and human voice.

There seemed to be someone hugging him in front of him, and the water falling from above hit him and that person, it was warm and comfortable.Ren Qing felt too tired. The person in front of him was very gentle and seemed trustworthy. With the warmth he had been looking forward to for a long time, Ren Qing couldn't help stretching out his hand to keep something, but his hand was held back by something. Stopped, and then slowly raised it up, and there was a tingling sensation at the fingertips, and it was like a kiss when he took it out.

In memory, only one person would kiss him so tenderly and carefully, but there will be no more in the future.

The man lied to him and turned him down.

That person... said he likes him?

Ren Qing's memory was confused for a moment, and he was suddenly annoyed at why he drank so much.

But why did he drink so much?It seems to be celebrating something.Someone said that because his song was doing well, that person came to send flowers, and his album was also selling well...he gave the album to that person.

Yes, he wanted to confess.

Thinking of this, Ren Qing hugged him gently.

"Mr. Shen..."

Shen Zequn froze immediately.

For some reason, Shen Zequn's tears welled up from his eyes, but then rolled down with the water hitting his face.Feeling Ren Qing's desperate embrace at this moment, he couldn't help but lock him in his arms.

Ren Qing's eyes were full of love, and then he stretched out the tip of his tongue to draw on his lips repeatedly. Shen Zequn's whole body was so stiff that he was afraid that this was just a dream, and Ren Qing didn't want to kiss deeply at all. He just smirked like a kitten, with an obsessed look on his face.

The love in the other party's eyes was too obvious, but it stabbed him fiercely.

He didn't even dare to look at this kind of gaze, he would feel that he was too dark and unforgivable.

Because he ruined it all.

Shen Zequn leaned against the glass wall, the whole glass bathroom was emitting heat, and the two of them were so close, it was inevitable that their bodies would react.

Since Ren Qing's accident, he hasn't done anything with anyone, and he couldn't resist hugging him once a while ago, and now that Ren Qing is teasing him like this, Shen Zequn couldn't bear it anymore, Ren Qing kissed him clumsily Kiss his Adam's apple, but this is too much for Shen Zequn.

He looked at the faint expectation in Ren Qing's eyes, and then lowered his head.

"Well……"

"Hey, don't move..."

Shen Zequn whispered, then lightly bit Ren Qing's lips and rubbed them back and forth with his tongue. The sound of kissing seemed to be infinitely amplified in the closed room, and drops of sweat slowly rolled down the chests of the two of them. It slid down slowly and stuck to the body, fading away sticky. -

Sensing Ren Qing's breathing becoming more and more rapid, Shen Zequn's eyes were half-opened and half-closed, until Ren Qing's lips became extremely gorgeous due to his kiss, and then he let go of his lips.

Shen Zequn's eyes were sour, and he couldn't help pecking his fair neck: "Ren Qing, what did you call me just now..."

"Mr. Shen..." Ren Qing seemed to be still immersed in the tenderness just now, when he heard Shen Zequn's question, he answered immediately.

Shen Zequn stretched out his hand and hugged him, the sadness in his heart turned up and could no longer be suppressed.

"Well, Mr. Shen...you...I mean..."

Ren Qing's words were endless, Shen Zequn couldn't help but kissed his eyelids: "What do you want to say?"

How much he wished that time could stop at this moment, that Ren Qing would still look at him like this, and still call him by his name like this.

Ren Qing looked at Shen Zequn's hazy silhouette, and his heartbeat seemed to become heavy at this moment: "Mr. Shen...I want to ask you, have you...listened to the album I gave you that day?"

Memories surged, Shen Zequn had a lot to say, but he could only hold it in his heart, he probably knew where Ren Qing's confused thoughts were staying.

Because he stayed in the best time that Shen Zequn was willing to trade everything for.

At that time, Ren Qing only belonged to him.

Shen Zequn closed the shower head, took out the bath towel on it, wrapped Ren Qing tightly and carried him back to the bed.

Ren Qing didn't hear his answer, and his expression was inevitably a little lonely, but he smiled and said to himself: "That's right, Mr. Shen is so busy... how can he have time to listen to my song?"

"I listened."

Shen Zequn hugged him in his arms, wiped his wet hair, and then gently wrapped his earlobe in his mouth: "I heard what you said..."

Seeing Ren Qing's stunned look, he felt a dull pain in his heart. He couldn't help hugging him even tighter, and trembled as if he didn't know how to feel sorry for him: "Yes, you can call me by my name, Shen Zequn. I I also like you, I love you too, so don't leave me...don't want me..."

Perhaps Shen Zequn's eyes were too sad at this moment, and Ren Qing felt a great pain in his heart. He felt that he seemed to have seen Shen Zequn's sad look before.

When is it...

It seemed that when they finally met each other, during those skin-to-skin kisses, when the other party called his name again and again, he couldn't understand the emotion in that person's eyes.

He felt as if he had forgotten something very important.

Oh, by the way, the man who made his confession refused.

He must be dreaming now, in the dream that person accepted his confession.

It's really useless, even fantasizing about such unrealistic things.By the way, they said that Mr. Shen likes a man named Lin Li, who seems to be a rich young man, unlike him...Shen Zewei also came to him today, and said that Mr. Shen had a marriage contract since he was a child.

In fact, that person is just playing with himself, no matter how much he likes it, he will be dumped in the end.But if this is the case, why did Mr. Shen follow him when he managed to escape to other places to film?

Are you still interested in his body?

Maybe there was only this between them from the beginning to the end, just a deal.

Ren Qing feels that this kind of life is too hopeless, and his life seems to have undergone earth-shaking changes in the past few months.He knew he should leave, but he was always reluctant.He obviously likes the person so much, but now he has to avoid him all the time. He thought about taking back half of his heart, maybe he could make it easier for himself, but he realized it was too late.

After he was no longer with the person he liked, it seemed that this year's meeting between the two of them only left this kind of bed relationship.

How silly, how could he imagine that the other party really fell in love with him because of the pleasure of the flesh.

But if you don't like it, it's not easy to appear in his dream again.

Don't give him any hope or fantasy.

Feeling something hot flowing out of her eyes, Ren Qing hastily covered her eyes with her hands.

Even in his dream, he didn't want to cry in front of this person.

"Ren Qing?"

Shen Zequn felt Ren Qing's whole body trembling slightly, and the next moment he heard Ren Qing's subdued cries, Shen Zequn was so distressed that he was busy pulling his arm, but Ren Qing was very stubborn.

"appoint……"

"Why..." Ren Qing finally cried out completely: "Why did we become like this..."

At this moment, Shen Zequn's expression was uglier than crying.

Yes, why did he and Ren Qing become like this? !

It is clear that Ren Qing likes him so much, and he likes Ren Qing so much, why are they still at this point!

He wished he could kill himself.

"sorry Sorry sorry……"

Knowing that it is useless to say these three words now, but Shen Zequn couldn't say anything else except this sentence. He knelt on the bed and grabbed Ren Qing's hand like a sinner. His tears dripped on Ren Qing's hand. There were little shadows on his body, like a powerless cry.

In Ren Qing's trance, he seemed to see Shen Zequn lying in front of him apologizing to him, and he saw the tears rolling down Shen Zequn's face.

Shen Zequn cried. In his memory, he seemed to have seen such a scene.

Suddenly, Ren Qing remembered everything.

He remembered that he met Lin Li at the hotel.

Remember that he is dead.

Thinking of him becoming a man named Ren Han.

Thinking of him returning to that villa again.

I remembered that Shen Zequn said he liked him.

Remembering that Shen Zequn already knew his identity.

……

But why can't I forget it!

Even if Shen Zequn didn't appear in front of him, he would still continue to disrupt his life.

There seemed to be something rampant in his body, breaking through the confinement of his body. He hated that this person would not let him go in his dream. He rushed towards him and grabbed Shen Zequn's shoulders fiercely. Both eyes are red and swollen.

Shen Zequn was also a little dazed for a while, just lying there looking at Ren Qing, the water droplets from Ren Qing's hair kept hitting his face, causing a burst of chills.

"Ren Qing..."

"You said you liked me, what did you do long ago?!" Ren Qing grabbed him, his voice became hoarse because it was too sharp: "Since when did you like me, after I died? But if you You said earlier...you said you liked me when I liked you so much, how could we have come to this point! We...we will be good, we will be together..."

"Ren Qing..."

Shen Zequn was saddened from the heart, he subconsciously wanted to hug Ren Qing, but was knocked off by Ren Qing's backhand.

"But it's already impossible!" All the negative emotions in Ren Qing's heart were magnified infinitely at this moment, and it was hard to get back.

"There are so many deceptions and suspicions between us. Even if we reconcile, we will never go back. I don't want that kind of life. Isn't it enough for me to lose? Isn't the painful love I once had enough I’m just too tired, I don’t want to like it, I don’t want to continue anymore, why are you haunted! I’ve already died once, what else do you want! If so, I’d rather die in the first place! Couldn't go back..."

"Don't say it..." Shen Zequn suddenly covered his mouth: "Don't say it, never say it! It was my mistake, it was my mistake, I won't pester you anymore, and I won't appear in front of you again, so Please don't say such things..."

How could Ren Qing say that.

Has he already hated him to such an extent?

If Ren Qing denied his own existence because of him, would he disappear quietly?

Shen Zequn suddenly thought of the minutes and seconds he spent holding that cold urn day after day, so desperate and so painful.

At this moment, endless panic set off in Shen Zequn's heart.

Shen Zequn's body trembled violently, the moonlight outside the window hit his face, and the shadow cruelly divided his facial features that could even be described as distorted: "I'm going, can't I go? Please don't say such words again I admit that I lost, can I leave...I want to live well and live well."

Don't disappear without a word.

***

Ren Qing fell asleep at some point.

Shen Zequn sat by the bed for a long time, no one knew what he was thinking.

It wasn't until the sky turned pale that Shen Zequn slowly opened his mouth: "Grandpa is dying, I've actually been in the hospital for the past few days."

Shen Zequn's throat seemed to be squeezed by gravity, and his voice was hoarse.

"Sometimes when you think about it, life is really impermanent. People who are so close will get sick when they say they are sick, and they will leave when they say they are sick."

Shen Zequn caressed the slightly swollen corners of Ren Qing's eyes: "Yesterday morning, Grandpa took my hand and said that if I really like you, then we should be together. He hoped that I could be happy with you. I wanted to I took you there to meet him... But now it seems that even if I say it, you will only force yourself to agree to me, right?"

Shen Zequn twitched the corners of his mouth, and his tone was gentle and helpless: "You are such a person, but I don't want to force you... Love is not like this, life is not like this, and happiness is not like this, is it?"

Shen Zequn didn't say anything, and Ren Qing's steady breathing was next to his ears.Shen Zequn looked at him, as if wanting to see his appearance too, Shen Zequn couldn't help but leaned down and kissed his forehead.

The room was silent.

No one knew what kind of emotion was hidden in this shallow kiss, not even Shen Zequn himself.

It's like no matter how much he doesn't want to let go, no matter how reluctant he is, he has to let go this time.