dreamer

The night wind blows.

Ji Ziyang sat alone in the park in front of his house, his head was downcast, but his face was full of exhaustion and loneliness.

There are children playing in the distance, or playing with a ball, or squatting in the sand pile with their friends and throwing sand everywhere.

Except for the occasional childish laughter, everything was quiet.

Ji Ziyang felt very disappointed.

His mind was in turmoil, and his heart was in turmoil.

For the first time, I had self-doubt about myself, not for Wei Jiale's feelings, but for myself.

He loves Wei Jiale, he really loves Wei Jiale.

But from the beginning to the end, he was only thinking about how to get it. Because of loneliness when he was a child, Wei Jiale was everything to him, and he wanted to draw warmth from him.After growing up, Wei Jiale was all his emotional sustenance, even when he was separated from him, he never stopped wanting to draw emotion from him.

He wants to love, he wants to be loved, he wants to be loved by Wei Jiale.

But it never occurred to him what Wei Jiale was thinking and wanting.

So is his love for Wei Jiale really too superficial?

The phone in his pocket vibrated suddenly, Ji Ziyang took it out to check, and there was a word on the screen, Mom.

"Yangyang?"

A gentle but serious voice came from the other side of the phone, slightly comforting Ji Ziyang's feeling of helplessness at this time.

Although I was not as dependent on other people's children and parents since I was a child, but sure enough, when I was frustrated, the thing I most wanted to go back to was my mother's side.

"…mom…"

"What's the matter? You're so lethargic, you haven't contacted me for a long time, is everything okay?"

It seems that the fragility can be felt from the son's voice, and the mother's words are also more concerned.

"Okay, everything is fine, how is home?"

"Everything is as usual, is the work going well?"

"Well, that's it."

"Don't work too hard, pay attention to your body."

Ji Ziyang responded in a low voice. His mother has always acted neatly, and her instructions were as concise and clear as ever. Normally, the two of them would probably hang up the phone after a few words, but now Ji Ziyang wants to talk to his mother more. Even simple everyday small talk can seem especially valuable.

"...What's the matter, is something wrong?"

After a brief silence, the mother directly asked about Ji Ziyang's abnormality.

"Well... I went out for a trip yesterday, and I just came back from this meeting, so I'm a little tired."

"On business trip?"

"Going home."

"Ah...why do you remember going back there?"

"I brought Wei Jiale back with me."

"Wei Jiale...Wei Jiale..." There was a moment of hesitation on the phone, followed by a slightly surprised exclamation, "It's that one, the one who lived next to our house when I was young...?"

Ji Ziyang smiled helplessly, "Yes, that's him."

"I remember you haven't been in touch for a long time?"

"Well, we met later."

"Well, you are quite destined... How is he now? Still with his mother?"

"He...has changed a lot." Ji Ziyang raised his eyes, imagining Wei Xi's figure in his mind, "He has lost his memory, and he can't remember the past."

"Amnesia?"

"Well, it's quite complicated, and I won't be able to explain it clearly in a while."

"Ah," the mother sighed through the phone, she was always indifferent but rarely showed some sympathy, "this child is suffering enough..."

"Is life hard?"

"I have no father since I was a child, and now it has become like this again."

"Dad was not often at home when I was a child..." Ji Ziyang retorted in a low voice, although his tone was a little weak, "It's not all the same."

"Hehe, how can it be the same," the mother chuckled twice, as if mocking Ji Ziyang's stupidity, "You can't compare."

"Why can't it be compared?"

"It's a pity that you are still a psychiatrist, so you don't understand such a simple truth. Although your father was very busy in the past, the concept of family is complete to you, and Wei Jiale is a real single-parent family. He has a father, but Wei Jiale knows very well in his heart that he is a child abandoned by his father."

After hearing what his mother said, Ji Ziyang suddenly remembered the faint smile on Wei Jiale's face when he first heard Wei Jiale talk about family affairs when he was a child.

Why do you still smile when you say such things?

"Speaking of which, he is actually very strong..."

Ji Ziyang read it as if he was talking to himself, and his mother also agreed on the phone.

"So that child matured much earlier than you, and is indeed stronger than you."

"…mom…"

"It's true. Didn't he always accompany you and take care of you when you were young?"

"I think I've been taking care of him."

"Oh? I thought you were just using people as toys."

Mother made a lukewarm tease, but Ji Ziyang's already lonely mood fell to the bottom.

"...Mom, how can you say that about me?"

"But the kid really likes you."

But then, what his mother said made Ji Ziyang's eyes light up again.

"...he likes me?"

Obviously, the love between the two people is not a concept, but the same words still hit Ji Ziyang's little thoughts.

"Otherwise, when you were young, that child followed you in everything. You can play with him as you like. Sometimes I get angry when I see it."

"Ah... yeah..."

Ji Ziyang lowered his eyes, couldn't help pursing his lips and showing a smug smile, "That's right, he must like me, otherwise he would always come to live with us."

"...This, it has nothing to do with liking you or not, right?"

"kindness?"

There was silence on the phone, and Ji Ziyang waited for a long time, as if his mother was thinking about how to speak.

"Yangyang, do you really know nothing about Wei Jiale's family?"

When Ji Ziyang heard the words, curiosity suddenly arose in his heart, "What do you mean?"

"Oh... no wonder, you were young then."

"what happened?"

"Actually, that kid sometimes comes to our house, not just to play with you..." The mother hesitated for a while, and finally said, "Our house is small, and we can't hide anything, and the neighbors also tell behind their backs." , I also know that his mother was quite young at the time, and it was really not easy to be alone..."

What the mother said was intermittent, and many things needless to be said were too explicit, but Ji Ziyang learned a lot while being shocked.

In the thunderstorm night in my memory, the little Wei Jiale stood in front of Ji Ziyang's house in a blue transparent raincoat, showing a big smile.

"I told my mother that I want to come to live with you."

At that time, Ji Ziyang simply thought that Wei Jiale was worried that he would be lonely and afraid of thunder when he was alone at home.

"Because there are guests at home."

However, he ignored the real reason. Although it had nothing to do with the two people liking to be together all day long, the reason why Wei Jiale came for the first time at that time was actually because there were guests at home, which was inconvenient.

But Ji Ziyang was not shocked by the truth, nor was he shocked by Wei Jiale's mother's private affairs.

What shocked him was the young Wei Jiale, what kind of mood would he have when faced with such a thing?

But no matter what, why Wei Jiale, who has gone through all this, can always show him such a bright smile?

In that small body, how many things he should have endured, but he still tried his best to suppress everything in the deepest part of his heart?

Will this go crazy?

Ji Ziyang forgot how he hung up the phone.

At this moment, he just couldn't stop thinking in his mind, how many things his beloved Wei Jiale had shouldered alone that he didn't want to show to others.

When Mother Wei came home, Wei Xi was washing dishes in the kitchen.

She didn't say much, she just stood on the balcony and lit a cigarette.

Originally, she wanted to have a few drinks, but today her son came back, so she had better not do that.

The past has already left a lot of bad memories for my son, so don't make it worse now.

Mother Wei had a very depressing experience. After something like that happened at home, her only son became like that again. Anyone would lament the ill-fated fate.However, all of this is her mother's responsibility, there is no way, she really didn't know how to deal with it at that time.

Wei Xi's mother was a very "useless" woman in the early days. Her natal family was very well-off. She was spoiled and spoiled since she was a child. She didn't suffer much. Everything was arranged by the family. There were two older sisters and one older brother. She has never had her turn to think about anything, and it cannot be said that she has developed any bad habits, but she is indeed a little girl in character, and she has no opinions.

In fact, if she hadn't met Wei Jiale's father later and listened to her parents' advice to find a good family, she probably wouldn't be where she is today.

That was the only struggle she had ever fought. For love, she broke up with her family, and followed Wei Jiale's father from the south to the north alone.

Wei Jiale's father looks really good, he is very handsome, has a good temperament, and is gentle to others.

The only bad thing is that he is very gentle to everyone, and he is a selfish scum in terms of feelings.

Not long after the two had Wei Jiale, the man abandoned Wei Jiale, their mother and son.

Mother Wei kept telling Wei Jiale that his biological father was dead.

Although Wei Jiale knew that his father ran away with others and didn't want them anymore.

But to be honest, Wei's mother really didn't just say this casually, because she really didn't know that person's life or death. He disappeared as soon as he left and never appeared again. Who knows whether he is dead or alive? .

Abandoning wives and children is worse than humans and animals, so it is better to be dead.

The only thing that can be said is fortunate is that when Wei Jiale's father "runs away", he walks swiftly alone, so the mother and son will not lose money and life.

From then on, Mother Wei took Wei Jiale by herself, not to mention being a father and a mother, but also making a living.

The natal family's attitude towards Wei's mother has always been quite cold, but no matter how cold they are, they have helped them more or less.It's just that Mother Wei is never embarrassed to talk to her family unless she is desperate.It's not that she is so strong, it's that she regrets what she did at the beginning and feels ashamed of her family.

She has the backbone in her heart, but most of the time, the life in front of her still makes Mother Wei a little unbearable.

Especially those who are alone and have no one to rely on.Wei's mother was still thirty at the time, and after being alone for a long time, it was inevitable that she would feel a little lonely.

In fact, for Wei Jiale, Wei's mother is already very cautious, but occasionally she meets someone she thinks is good, she still can't help being tempted, thinking that she can have a new life.

It's just that she didn't have such a good life, one or two, always seemed to be sincere, and no one was willing to give her, a woman who supported her son, a home.

Mother Wei let out a long sigh of relief and snuffed out the cigarette butt. Well, why are you thinking so much?

It's all over anyway, isn't it?

After packing up, Wei Xi consciously helped her mother clean the room.

My mother used to drink heavily, but has since gotten better.

Especially after Wei Xi graduated from high school, Wei's mother even set up a bottom store and opened a small supermarket, which is like starting her life again.

It's just that Wei's mother, who got better, simply asked Wei Xi to move out. She lived in the school when she was in college, and gave Wei Xi a sum of money after graduation, saying that when she grows up, she should have her own life. will limit him.

In fact, Wei Xi didn't feel much about it at the time. He didn't feel that staying by his mother's side was restricted, nor did he feel that he could have much freedom without his mother's side.

But he moved out obediently, because it was the existence of his mother who made him do that, and he felt that it must be right.

In particular, he always felt that his mother didn't like him, and even a little... hated him.

He will never forget the scattered drunken words his mother said to him when he was drunk. He can feel the grief and anger in his mother's heart. He came.

After cleaning the room, Mother Wei called Wei Xi to stop.

The two sat opposite each other, and there was still herbal tea that Mother Wei had just brewed on the table.There was steam in the teacup, and the fragrance of tea was overflowing around, but there was not much warmth on each other's faces.

"Wei Xi, why did Ji Ziyang take you to the old house?"

Wei Xi didn't even look up, she just replied softly, "He...he said he would take me back to have a look."

"Go back and see what?"

"...he said that's where I lived and that it could help me...recover my memory."

Mother Wei sighed, and asked him again, "You want to remember the past so much?"

Wei Xi was silent for a while, shook her head, and nodded again, as if she didn't know what to say.

"I, I didn't want to, but Ji Ziyang always said that... I, I also want to..."

"What do you want to know, you can come and ask mom, and mom can tell you."

Wei Xi raised her head upon hearing this, and looked at his mother in confusion.

Mother Wei looked at him very gently, and nodded, "What do you want to know?"

Wei Xi thought for a while, although he didn't know whether he should say it or not, but since his mother said it, he obediently expressed the question in his heart, "I, yesterday, I thought of a person...a man..."

When Wei Xi said this, Mother Wei's brows twitched slightly, but she didn't say anything more, she just motioned Wei Xi to continue, "What kind of man?"

"With glasses..."

Mother Wei's expression turned even worse.

"and then?"

"There's no more, it just passed by," Wei Xi paused, then lowered her eyes again, "But I...I...don't like this person..."

Mother Wei held the teacup and thought for a while, then told Wei Xi in a firm tone, "You really don't like him, because I remarried at the time, and you were very against it."

"is that so…"

"Well, it's just because of this, but that person is dead, so you don't have to worry about these things anymore."

Wei Xi was silent and did not speak.

Mother Wei waited for him for a while, and comforted him softly, "Okay, Xiao Xi, let's stop thinking about the meaningless past and let the past go, okay?"

Wei Xi raised his head and looked at his mother. It was rare for his mother to speak to him so gently, which made him feel a little... flattered?

No, it shouldn't be described that way, but I couldn't find another more suitable word.

So Wei Xi replied in a low voice, "...OK..."

And nodded obediently.

Mother Wei breathed a sigh of relief in satisfaction, and the two of them stayed for a while, but then told Wei Xi, "If Ji Ziyang comes to you again and asks you to restore your memory or something, you should stop dating him."

Wei Xi was a little surprised when she heard this. The tone of her mother's words was different from before, full of orders.

But for such an order, Wei Xi didn't know whether to nod or not.

"Did you hear that?"

"But…"

"Okay, go wash up and go to bed early, you've been tired all day."

Mother Wei waved her hand before Wei Xi finished speaking, then lowered her head and drank her tea without looking at him.

Wei Xi looked at her mother silently, and finally said nothing, and slowly walked to the bathroom with her head down.

The tenderness of the previous moment was fleeting. Sure enough, his mother still didn't like him very much.