Scarlet Rose

I wrote to tell Erakro of his death.I didn't tell her, I watched him die in front of my eyes.I just can't imagine what she would think of me if she knew the truth.I'm miserable enough that I can't breathe just imagining her looking at me with teary eyes.

Busy is the best way to dilute the grief.After witnessing more deaths, I am not so sad anymore.I even learned to smoke.Only low-quality tobacco, the kind that chokes if you smoke too hard, the kind that used to be dismissed and is now a rare commodity.We don't have alcohol, otherwise I'd rather get drunk so I can sleep more soundly every night.

In September, there were still so many wounded.The storm was dragged into a war of attrition.These days I saw Cousin Donner.He was injured and brought in for treatment.His wound was bandaged when I saw him, but he was crying.He has lost a lot of weight, his hair has grown, and he looks decadent and lonely.

"Is it serious?" I couldn't help worrying.

He shook his head, looked at me with red eyes and said, "This injury is nothing. I'm just regretting my incompetence."

"Don't say that!" I hurriedly comforted him, "You've worked very hard, haven't you raised your rank by one rank? I heard that you are advancing towards the German camp, isn't that a good thing?"

"I'd rather not have a rank. It's not despair that we can see ahead, but the dead don't come back. My lieutenant Pete, a very young lad, was the one who protected me when that bomb fell Before he died, he said that I could not die, he was very proud to protect me..."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I sighed. With so many people coming to the hospital every day, I can honestly say that my heart is becoming numb to death.

"I blame myself very much. I have regretted it since that moment. Why didn't I be more cautious? I regretted it all the time. He could have become a famous lawyer..." Tang Na slammed the quilt hard.

"It's not your fault, it's the fault of this war." I took a deep breath and said, "You shouldn't punish yourself by blaming yourself for all your mistakes. You have to cheer up, and blindly repenting won't change anything."

"So what can I do?" he asked me.

"Heal your wounds well, and then return to the battlefield to avenge Pete. His sacrifice is to allow you to regain victory."

Donna fell silent.

Seeing that he stopped talking, I slowed down and said, "Donald, you have to know that your parents, sisters, and your fiancée Lily are all waiting for you in England. They regard you as a hero. You are so self-pity and immersed in regret What is the difference between a coward and a coward!"

"Stop talking." He raised his head and smiled wryly at me, "I was taught a lesson by you. Give me some time, I will adjust my state."

Seeing that he was thinking about it, I breathed a sigh of relief, patted him on the shoulder with a smile and said, "Don't worry too much about my words. Take care of your wounds, you are still needed on the front line."

Tang Na spent another half month recovering from his injuries, and went to the front line again before he fully healed.Earl They are very worried about him, but at the same time proud of him.Alice wrote to tell me that if Cousin Donner died, the estate would lose its heir, and the title would fall to me.I don't know how to take care of such a manor. The greater the benefit, the greater the responsibility.Every night before I go to bed, I pray that Cousin Donna will come back safely.

But we still got bad news after all.Martha's husband died.He was bombed to pieces and remained on that battlefield forever.Many noble children have excellent riding and archery skills, and they have a sense of pride and national honor that is higher than ordinary people, so they rushed to the forefront and were the last to retreat.Many noble children have lost their lives in this war, and now, the war has killed people I know.Some of his personal belongings were dug up by his comrades and brought back.All he wore was his medal and a gold pocket watch with family photos hidden in it.

I sent these things back to the manor and told them the sad news.I can't imagine what a blow this was to Martha.I just hope she's strong enough to get through this.

I waited a long time to hear back from Alice.Alice said that Martha was on the verge of breaking down when she first heard the news.But she bounced back for the sake of their baby.She was determined to raise that boy to be as fine a gentleman as his father was.

I miss Mr. Eric terribly during this time.Whenever I'm vulnerable inside, I think of him.He is still on the front line, facing those brutal fights.I learned from a few words in Alice's letter that he was alive and well, unhurt, and promoted.This almost became a reason to support me.I prayed to God for his safety and confessed to him because I couldn't control my heart.

Every day we learn a little bit of front-line news from the wounded.

"Hey, the Germans' line of defense is retreating today!" A soldier with an arm injury was restless lying on the bed, and he waved his good arm and said excitedly.

"Yes, that's really good news." I quickly bandaged him.I was very sleepy, and I hadn't shaved for days, because one of the doctors had a fever, and we were short handed.

"We used a new weapon called a tank, and the Germans can't do anything about it." He started dancing again as he spoke, and I patted his arm to signal him not to move around, which made him grin his teeth in pain.

"I'll go back when my injury heals. It would be great if I could drive that big thing too. I'm really invincible, haha..."

"Shut up, at your level, how can you learn it!" said the wounded on the next bed impatiently.

"If you can't learn anything, just someone can! We will win sooner or later!"

I looked at him and sighed.More powerful weapons are put into use. For us, there will be more seriously injured people and more people who cannot be rescued.And what is the meaning of victory?Lost lives can never be regained.

Soon it will be Christmas again.This year, the 141-day battle only pushed back the German defense line by 7 miles.We never broke through the German defenses, even with new weapons.This year, hundreds of thousands of young people died on the battlefield.

On Christmas Eve 1916, in our usual bedroom in the humble cubicle off the ward, a few of us medics ate our Christmas meal together.No turkey, no Christmas pudding, no mulled wine, just hard rye bread, a bit of butter we usually hid, and a bit of wine hid as contraband.

"Cheers!" We held up water glasses, which contained a little wine that barely covered the bottom of the glass.

"I really hope this war will end soon, and I can see my daughter when I go back." A military doctor said as he took out his pocket watch, "Look, isn't she a beautiful little princess?"

"I'm really worried about my parents. They are old and don't know if they are sick." Another military doctor said worriedly.

I also hope this war ends quickly so I can see Mr. Eric.

I sipped the wine in small sips and cherished it very much.When we were in the manor before, we drank whiskey happily and all kinds of red wine, but now we want to drink even alcohol.After drinking, we swallowed bread with cold water.

It's a Christmas without presents.Outside, a few wounded wounded were lying on the bed, singing Christmas carols in low voices, and the voices of several people singing together were actually quite loud.We cried when we heard someone singing and singing.No one spoke anymore, and everyone quietly listened to the singing from the ward beyond the wall.I lit a cigarette for myself, and my thoughts went far away. When I came back to my senses, I saw the other two military doctors quietly wiping tears.And myself, the eye sockets are already wet.

In the two months after Christmas, we have a lot of leisure.Fighting in winter is a very unwise decision.Neither side has launched a large-scale offensive, and both are strengthening their defenses.

Alice sent me a letter saying that when the war was over, she was going to marry someone she liked.Mr. Eric will definitely throw a grown-up party for Granny, inviting young gentlemen.She joked that she created a near-perfect male protagonist in the novel, and she felt she fell in love with him, and that real gentlemen might not have her ideal type.Grandma's body began to weaken. She worried about us all day, couldn't sleep well, and her spirits were quite poor.The wounded were sent back for treatment, there were not enough beds in the small clinic, all the empty houses in the town were requisitioned, the nuns and nurses took care of the wounded, Ella also went, her fiancé died, but she was very strong , wanting to do something for those who are still alive.Alice said that the manor reduced the taxes of tenants and farmers, and the cook tried to use limited ingredients to make something for the wounded every day.She also complained that supplies are tight now, and she can't eat her favorite fruit pudding, because the supply of fresh fruit can't keep up, and the price of sugar and butter is going up crazily.

Alice also sent me the manuscript of her new work.She said that now both the count and the lady knew that she was writing a novel, but they did not blame her, they encouraged her to continue writing.I know that people living between hope and despair need this kind of spiritual comfort to help them get through this winter and the next.I read her novels.Her writing and narrative skills are much stronger than before.It's just that the real war is far less noble than the novel.The color of our eyes is not the gold of self-confidence and perseverance.What we see is oppressive gray, breathless gray.Everyone has a thought in his heart, wife, child, or parents, or even the cow at home. It is those thoughts rather than the illusory victory that we don't know when we will persevere day by day.My thoughts are Mr. Eric.

At the end of every letter, Alice told me that I must live.Everyone in the family is looking forward to my return home intact.The word family made my eyes blush.They were genuinely worried about me.Even though my contact with them was just over a year.It is the wish of each of us to survive and return home safely.