Scarlet Rose

1913 is just a few days after Christmas.It's not hot yet.I can't stand the cold and humid weather, and I spend almost every day indoors.

One day I went to the manor to have dinner, and saw the earl frowning.

"What's the matter with him?" I asked Alice quietly.

Alice couldn't tell.She told me that she only vaguely knew that something big might happen in the near future, and my father was very disturbed, so he withdrew part of his investment in France.

I immediately remembered the postcard I received earlier, the classmate who moved vaguely mentioned that it was not peaceful.There might be a war, who knows.There is always a small battle to be fought every few years, and the reason for the war is inexplicable in my opinion.I hope that the flames of war will not spread to the old house that belongs to Mr. Eric now, and used to belong to me and my parents, nor will it spread to those kind neighbors.

There are a lot of people with colds recently, and I stay in the clinic almost all day during the day, so I can't be lazy.Ella downstairs accepted Crowe's overtures, and the two discussed getting married in the second half of the year.Ella looks shy and proud when she mentions her boyfriend every day.Crowe was really kind to this round-faced girl, and would come to pick her up every day.

Dr. Jonah is finally willing to let me observe the surgery recently, and let me practice the less complicated surgery. He probably thinks that he is about to retire, and finally he no longer hides his secrets.I had no theoretical knowledge before, but now I finally have the opportunity to practice.Dr. Jonah would still yell at me when I didn't do well, and when I did well, he reservedly commented "it's not bad".Sometimes we also discussed the treatment of some symptoms, and some of the theories I had memorized were not known to Dr. Jonah.I pretended to be humble, and seeing Dr. Jonah's pensive look, I was very happy, and there are things he doesn't know!

In February Cousin Donner fell in love with a young lady.This lady was called Lily, and she was the daughter of a Marquis.She has a voice like a nightingale and a sweet smile.Her father was not as high as the Earl of Smedley, but the Earl's family didn't care much.They hope that every young man can fall in love freely.My mother's tragedy made them fully reflect on themselves.

By April, the season of roses, Donner and Lily were engaged.Lily's family was invited to the manor, and Martha and his wife also came with the baby.The earl also invited Mr. Eric and Jialin. According to him, it was time for Mr. Eric to find a wife. As a friend, he was obliged to remind him of this.

The engagement was so perfect that after dinner several men—the Earl, Donner, Martha's husband, and Lily's father—gathered for a game of cards, with Lily's brothers acting as substitutes.I don't know how to play cards (I play a little differently in France than in England), and I was a little drunk after drinking some wine, so I just lay down on the sofa in a small lounge by myself.

Half asleep and half awake, a tall figure walked in front of me, and the shadow was projected on me, half of my body fell into the shadow.I straightened my upper body a little nervously.It's just me here, so I'm completely relaxed.My suit was unbuttoned, as was my tie, hanging loose around my neck; the top button of my shirt was also undone.I know I'm rude in my dress and posture, but I don't want to adjust.I was drunk, and anything is possible with a drunk.I thought willfully.

Mr. Eric doesn't seem to care what I look like. "Want to drink?" He handed over a glass of wine.

"I'm already drunk." I said so in my heart, but I still took it, handed it to my lips and took a sip—it was whiskey with ice cubes.

"Lucky Donna, she seems like a nice girl," Mr. Eric said in a brotherly tone, sitting down on a sofa near me.

"Yeah, that's great." I relaxed and leaned on the sofa, and suddenly remembered the earl's purpose in inviting him, "You should also find a wife."

"Oh." He chuckled.My eardrums seemed to be shaken by his laughter, so that my heart beat a little harder.I took a quick sip of my drink to hide my unease.

"What kind of woman do you think I should find as a wife?" He didn't see my unnaturalness, and asked me in a seemingly sincere but casual tone.

"Huh? Gentle? Smart? Beautiful?" I tried to think of possible words with my dull brain.

"What would it be like if I got married?" He no longer cared about the previous question and continued to ask.

"You guys are in your manor, that study room, well, that's the study room I was in when I was reading. She reads the books you've read, discusses them with you, and you kiss. Or you're in that cabin in the woods Let’s play with the rabbit together, by the way, it’s the rabbit named Roman, have you raised it well? You will have a child, a very beautiful little guy..." I made up a story, and it seemed that I really saw Eli Mr. Ke stayed with a beautiful woman, and they sat in the clearing in front of the cabin, the sun dappled on them through the branches of the tall trees, with his arms around his wife, and her With a baby in her arms.And the fat rabbit bounced around them, nibbling grass from time to time.

"Good idea." Mr. Eric stood up and walked in front of me.

I blinked and looked at him with misty eyes.I was probably very drunk, and I felt that the candlelight was covering his whole body with a beautiful halo, softening his outline.He is like an angel.

He reached for the wine glass in my hand.I gave it to him puzzled.He casually put it on the low table beside him, and approached me again.

I watched him getting closer and closer to me, and for some reason, I suddenly smiled.

"Kissing...is it like this?" He whispered, and put his mouth on my lips.

I was a little surprised, and gently pushed him with my hands, but I couldn't use much force, so I stopped resisting.I closed my eyes and felt his tongue sticking into my mouth, which also seemed to smell of wine.

"How do you feel?" After the kiss, he didn't leave, and asked with his lips against mine.

"Hmm..." I didn't know how to describe it, but I said something like a ghost: "Homosexuality is against the law."

He smiled, and the air exhaled from his mouth went into my mouth, and there was a numb feeling.I wanted to hide, but I was already leaning on the sofa and couldn't retreat.

He gently sucked my lower lip again before leaving.

My eyes were fixed on him, and I was lazy and didn't want to move.

"Go to sleep," he said.

I obediently closed my eyes and soon fell asleep.

I woke up in a guest room at the manor feeling very hungry.I suddenly wondered, did the kiss last night really happen, or was it a dream I had after I was drunk?

When I got to the lobby, I was just in time for lunch.I sneaked a few glances at Mr. Eric, who didn't seem to notice me, and kept talking to the people next to him with a decent smile.

Mr. Charles, the housekeeper, told me quietly that I fell asleep in the lounge last night, and Mr. Eric sent me back to the room, and asked me to thank him.

Mr. Eric and Jialin are going back in the afternoon.I found a free time and pulled Mr. Eric to a corner where no one was around, and asked him embarrassedly if I had done anything wrong when I was drunk last night.

"Don't you remember?" He asked me with a smile.

"...I don't really remember." I'm really not sure if the kiss was real or not.

"You fell asleep while chatting with me last night. You didn't get drunk, it was very quiet," he said.

"So what did we talk about?" I asked nervously.

"It's nothing, it's just about Donald and his fiancée."

"Is that so?" I was a little happy and a little disappointed.That kiss must be my dream.Fortunately, it's not true, otherwise I really don't know how to face Mr. Eric.But I actually dreamed that he kissed me?Looking up at Mr. Eric again, I felt guilty.I actually had impure thoughts about him in my subconscious, it was as if I had defiled him...

"Anything else?" He asked me again.I shook my head with difficulty, always feeling ashamed to face him.

"You should tell me safe travels." He smiled and patted my head.

"... safe journey." I heard my own voice say.

"Well, thank you. Looking forward to seeing you next time."

After Mr. Eric left, I would think of him in a trance for a long time.I think of when I was sick in France, he touched my forehead and the warmth of his palm; I also think of the wise light in his eyes and the confident curve of his mouth when we talked in his study.I dreamed of his kisses several times, not only on the single sofa in the lounge, but also in his study room full of sunlight, and in front of the quiet forest cabin.

Whenever I woke up from the trance, I covered my face with red cheeks.Oh my God, am I in love with him?a man!

I can't tell anyone about this, I can only let it rot in my heart until he gets married, or I fall in love with someone else.

In June, Alice told me that a well-matched young lady was courting Mr. Eric.Probably because Mr. Eric looks indifferent and abstinent. Although he is the dream lover of many girls, not many people have expressed their love.This lady is also very courageous, probably she really loves him.

"Tell me about the lady," I said to Alice.

Alice happily introduced it to me.The lady's name was Jasmine, and her surname was Zangwill.Her hair is brilliant blonde, she has dimples when she smiles, and she has a very cheerful personality.

"It doesn't feel like she's a good match for Mr. Eric," I said.

"Why? She is very lively, and Mr. Eric is very stable, just complementary." Alice said.

"It's hard to say, anyway, I don't think it's appropriate." I said, feeling very awkward in my heart.

"Then what kind of lady do you think Mr. Eric would like?" Alice asked me.

I shake my head.I hope he likes me.Although I will never stand by his side.

"But she's putting all her eggs in one basket." Seeing that I couldn't speak, Alice turned the topic back to Miss Jasmine.

Indeed, Mr. Eric was slow to respond to her courtship.If he refused, it would do a lot to Miss Jasmine's reputation.The young lady was bravely professing her love for her reputation.This is something I can't do.

☆、Chapter 10

In July, while I was still struggling with my feelings, the war broke out.

This is not without warning.Not long ago, when I was helping the cook with a burn, she complained that some ingredients were not available recently.Long ago, when Earl's lawyer came to him to discuss investment issues, or when my classmates sent postcards, there were signals that the smoke was about to rise.I think I'm pretty calm compared to the others, although I was a little overwhelmed when I heard the news of the official declaration of war.

The count was too old to go to war, and he was very sorry.And Cousin Donna will bid farewell to his fiancée, and as a mid-level officer, lead the soldiers to charge into battle.I joined the army as a military doctor. After all, my horsemanship is not good, and I can't play with a gun.Grandma and the countess were reluctant to let me go, but they didn't stop me, but said that my mother would be proud of me.Although I have some regrets, I can't fight with weapons.

Cousin Donner went to the battlefield first, and the Countess asked me to go with others at the end of July in order to stay with me for a few more days.

Alice and his wife held a mobilization meeting at the manor, encouraging the menservants on the manor, the tenant farmers who worked for them, and the young men in the village to go to the battlefield to defend the country.

The party was unlike any that had been held at the Manor before.There is no famous brass band playing, no well-prepared food and drinking.Alice played the piano and sang, and the young men sat in rows on chairs and sang softly--the last song before going to battle.The earl delivered a passionate speech, driven by him, every young man's face was blushing with excitement, as if he couldn't wait to fight for the motherland and honor.I also can't wait, I think of where I need to go.

Having heard that Martha's husband and Mr. Eric have both gone to war, I am looking forward to meeting them.At that time, I only thought that this was a war to promote justice, and it would only take a few months for us to return victorious.

When I was about to leave, the Earl's family went to the station to see me off.All the young people, their families came to see them off, and hugged them with fondness.I saw Ella and Chloe.Chloe asked Ella: "Will you marry me when I come back?" Ella agreed.In this way, Crowe boarded the train with expectation and courage.

It was late August when we arrived in France.The British and French allied forces lost a battle and retreated to the Marne River in northern France to garrison in early September.Ordinary soldiers were organized into the various armies, and I started working soon after I arrived.There were a lot of wounded, some of whom were treated with emergency hemostasis, as many more were still waiting to be bandaged.

Everything is different from what I imagined.This battle was not a charge on horseback, but a deep trench was dug. The soldiers hid in the trench and shot at the opposite side, with the hot sun above their heads, mosquitoes and mice around, but they didn't even dare to take a shot.

Small conflicts occur almost every day.Wounded soldiers are brought in for treatment every day.Some of them were wounded by bombs and survived by luck; some were shot by snipers.There are not enough doctors because the wounded are too many.There are not enough nurses, so we have more things to do.

Every day, wounded soldiers were pushed by the fort, they were covered in mud, and some of them could not even recognize the color of their clothes; they were clutching their wounds; more people died on the battlefield—— If those trenches counted as battlefields.

I numbly bandaged their wounds.There is not enough anesthetic, so the soldiers can only bite the cloth, and then send a few people to hold them down.Some people have to face amputation because of lack of time and treatment tools, which is very painful for them and us.The seriously injured were sent back to the UK for treatment, and most of the slightly injured recovered and were sent back to the battlefield.

In the past few months, the tip of my nose has been lingering with a faint smell of blood.This war is not what we thought before!At first, I couldn't help trembling when I saw a wound that was too bloody, but now I can treat the wound as quickly as possible without changing my face.Every time I finished stitching and put down the needle, I felt my hands tremble; but I hardly had time to rest, and immediately had to decide whether to amputate the next wounded person...

Christmas is coming soon.On Christmas Eve, I got a chance to go out and relax.I met former classmates in a tavern.

He drank a lot of wine, hugged me and cried, saying he regretted it so much.

"Roman, do you know how jealous I am of you?" He said, "You guys went out to play all day, and I laughed at you for being stupid. Now it seems that I am the stupid person." His family education is very strict, He never hung out with us while he was in school, didn't drink or pick up girls.

"I thought that after graduation, if I made money, I could have fun and flirt with beautiful and mature women. Of course, the premise is that I have a good job and money. I planned it all. I graduated with such excellent grades. I can go to work in a big hospital in half a year, otherwise it would be nice to be a private doctor of a nobleman. I didn't expect that the good life I was looking forward to would be over before it could start."

"The war will end," I said.

"The end? You're so naive, we thought it would be over before Christmas, but now? Oh damn, when it's over in a few years, where are the pubs and pretty girls? Ruins and bones! Never mind We don't even know if we can live until the end of the war!"

"Hey, cheer up man! You can't be so pessimistic!" I tried to comfort the whining guy.

"You know," he suddenly looked up and stared at me, "I used to be very jealous of you. You are the youngest but you are very smart, you can learn easily, and you can go out to play in your spare time, but I have to spend all my time Come to learn! And your appearance, if you just smile, countless girls will be fascinated by you! Not to mention the girls, I dare say that many men have a crush on you! After graduation, you went to the UK again, you What a gentleman's life! How enviable! But I'm not jealous anymore, because we're all here doing the damn jobs! Oh, the damn war!" he babbled, cursing with.Maybe he didn't know what he was talking about, he was just venting the anger accumulated these days.

I looked through the window of the tavern and saw snowflakes drifting outside.Can these white elves cover the unrecognizable corpses in those trenches?They probably only slow down the decay of the corpse and prevent the spread of infectious diseases.

Spring is here, and the war is still going on.Repeating the same thing every day is also torture.I don't know what kind of order the higher-ups issued, probably it was about counterattack, because the number of wounded people sent recently has been less, which has lightened our burden a lot and allowed us to take a breather occasionally.I started keeping a diary every day.Although there are only a few short sentences, such as "today's weather is as bad as ever, the wounded are not so many sent"; "It's potatoes again! Is there nothing else to eat? Alice sent me a letter , I hope the Earl's family is well."

I'm having a hard time here, but I don't want to go back, I don't want to be looked down upon.In the past six months, I was too busy to think about anything else. Now that I have received a letter from the manor, I suddenly miss Mr. Eric very much.Alice said that before Mr. Eric left, he entrusted Jialin to the Earl.All the young male servants in his manor have joined the battlefield, and the maids have been dismissed temporarily. The butler and the housekeeper accompany Jialin to live in the earl's manor.I had received a letter from Mr. Eric before, saying that he was injured a little bit, but he had healed up and went to the battlefield again, but the little girl was still so worried that her eyes were red from crying.I'm also worried about Mr. Eric.When I read that passage, I felt that my heart was all entangled, but I didn't even know where he was.No, I can know where he is if I ask.But I didn't do that.Maybe it was my dirty thoughts about Mr. Eric that made me ashamed to see him, or maybe it was the French romantic in me who naively hoped for a chance encounter—though I didn't want him to get hurt in the slightest.

Alice also told me that her novel has stopped serialization, and she may write some short stories on the theme of war to inspire people.I wrote back to support her.

This year's war situation is still tragic.However, our camp gradually shifted to the vicinity of the Somme. At the beginning of 1916, there were still many wounded one after another, but compared with the previous wounded in the early stage of the Battle of the Marne, they were relatively few.We guess there's going to be a big fight here afterwards.

It turns out we were right. Beginning on July 1916, 7, the number of wounded suddenly increased.I don't know who told me that a large-scale attack was launched from above, and this time it was intended to defeat the German defense here.I am not interested in the general direction above, I just hope that the war will end soon, so that so many people will not be injured again. In 1, I still had a little enthusiasm for the war, and even regretted that I couldn't fight; by 1914, I was full of complaints, cursing the war, and even glad that I didn't have to go to the battlefield.Up to now, I don't even have any emotions anymore. I just hope that the war will end soon, and I can go back to see the Earl's family and my beloved Mr. Eric.I can't see him, I miss him more and more, and I admit from the bottom of my heart that I have fallen in love with him.I don't ask for a response, I just pray that he will survive until the end of the war.

I ran into an acquaintance after a busy few days: Chloe.He was brought in for me to be treated, but I just took one look and decided he was hopeless.Both of his legs were blown off, and his whole body was covered in blood. He might be about to go into shock soon.To be honest, I find it hard to believe that he is still sober.

But I can't help saving him, I always have to try.He seemed very happy to see me, and said with trembling lips, "Necklace... I'm sorry..."

I knew he was talking about the pink crystal necklace I bought for Ella.Now I don't care whether he stole it or picked it up. I stopped the bleeding as fast as I could. Seeing that he still wanted to move, and the blood started to flow again, I couldn't help but cursed: "Damn it, don't talk! Don't mention it!" That damn necklace!"

"Tell Ella...I love...her...don't wait for me..." he broke off.

"You can save yourself and tell her in front of her!" I couldn't do anything to his injury, the blood couldn't stop at all.

"Ella, you are so beautiful, I love you..." He looked towards the void, a smile appeared on his face, and his pale face became bright.

"No, don't do this!" I tried to call him in horror, and I knew it was a flashback.He stopped breathing quickly, but there was a happy expression on his face.

I closed his eyes silently, feeling exhausted all over.For the first time I let the wounded die at my hands so helplessly.For Crowe's death, I blame myself and even despair.I felt like I could have saved him, but I didn't.My hands were covered with his blood, I looked at his pale face, why can he have such a peaceful face?I thought death was a very painful thing. I was afraid of death and hated death.He made it impossible for me to face Ira, impossible for me to face myself.

Before, I rarely saw the wounded die.The wounded were sent here for treatment, indicating that they were not seriously injured or had a good chance of surviving, although not everyone could really survive; but more bodies were left on the battlefield, or were sent over on the way.Those corpses didn't even have time to be buried on the spot, and they were placed on the ground to be exposed to the wind and sun, to be eaten by rats and insects... Why should such a war continue?Germans also died a lot, and the parents of those soldiers were equally miserable.What else could this war bring but pain?Why does it exist?

When Crowe's body was taken away, an old doctor came over and patted me on the shoulder, silently encouraging me.I propped myself up and stood up, washed my hands, changed the bloody white coat, and numbly went to sew up the other wounded.

The author has something to say: July 1914, 7 to November 28, 1918 was the time when World War I broke out.This chapter deals with two battles in France: the Battle of the Marne in 11 and the Battle of the Somme in 11. (The Battle of Verdun was not written about because the British were not involved.) Both battles were very protracted and bloody.Because it is written from the perspective of the protagonist, it does not describe the battlefield situation positively. Because I did not find much information, it is mostly written in my head. There may be various bugs, so don't take it too seriously.About the protagonist's thoughts: Because people at that time did not expect that the war would last that long, they thought it would end before Christmas in 1914, so the protagonist had an eager, contemptuous and naive idea.At that time, many aristocratic children thought it was an opportunity to perform, but did not pay attention to the First World War, and couldn't wait to go to the battlefield, so many young nobles died.After a long time, they changed their minds and began to hate war.In short, we must cherish peace.