There is a love that goes without saying

The first thing I felt when I woke up was a pain in my neck. I sat up from the sofa with a frown, and at the same time, the blanket on my body fell to the ground.I stared at the blanket for a moment, picked it up immediately, and came to the room but found no one in the room, and suddenly heard a sound from the kitchen.I threw the quilt on the bed and went to the kitchen. Sure enough, I saw a good scene making breakfast.

When Haojing heard my footsteps, the egg-beating hand stopped slightly.

When I saw him, I felt awkward again, the words I wanted to say were stuck in my throat, and I found it a bit difficult to even say hello, "You got up very early."

I usually have so many words, but when I actually say it, I can only piece it together into such a sentence, and I am a little bit sleepy when I say it.

Haojing tilted his head to show me a shallow smile, with dimples looming on the corner of his mouth, "Good morning."

His voice made my heart beat a little bit regularly, and I looked at the good scene calmly.

There are several breakfasts on the table, and my heart is quite warm, but there is a bit of bitterness in it.

"It's so rich, what should I do if I can't finish it?" I wanted to pick up the toast on the table and eat a piece, but suddenly remembered that I hadn't washed up yet, so I put down my raised hand.

Haojing looked at me, a little at a loss, "I... didn't mean it."

I saw the good scene like this, so I couldn't help but smile, "Okay, I'm just joking, it's okay."

Haojing glanced at me angrily, and continued to fiddle with the fried eggs in the pan.

I thought Haojing was cute, but when I thought about it, I thought about my feelings for Haojing, and the smile that was still on the corner of my mouth faded away.

"You do it first, I'll go wash up." I left the kitchen after leaving this sentence.When I got to the bathroom, I closed the door, leaned against the wall a little weakly, and frowned.

What should I do so that I can feel the same when facing good times?

Am I really going to be gay?

Too many questions that I hadn't encountered before began to hit me. I searched for answers irritably, but I didn't have any thoughts.

How good would it be if people didn't have the seven emotions and six desires?

I think that kind of thing, maybe only monks know about it.

I smiled sarcastically, not knowing what I was laughing at, then went to the sink to brush my teeth, and washed my face with cold water over and over again, trying to reveal my truest self, but it was just that face, without any change.

I didn't come out until Haojing came to knock on the door, and as soon as I came out, I met Haojing face to face. It turned out that my mood had calmed down a bit, but it started to be chaotic again.

"The meal is ready, you can go and eat." Hao Jing's eyes are so pure, but I have that abnormal emotion towards Hao Jing, thinking that I am really a bit perverted.

I guess what really bothered me was not liking the good times, but the possibility that this emotion might never be realized.In this way, some things in my heart were solved, what was I thinking, no matter how much I like Haojing, Haojing is just a simple person, how could he accept such feelings?Is he afraid that if he finds out, he will feel disgusted by me?

While thinking about it, I came to the dining table and sat down, staring at the meals on the table, without any appetite.

Haojing was sitting on the seat opposite to me, eating quietly.

I looked at Haojing, and suddenly had an evil thought, if Haojing knew that I was gay, would he still stay at my house?Maybe then my life might go back to normal?I don't need to pay too much attention to this sudden feeling, and I don't need to be irritable.

"Good scene?" I called out very softly, and began to obey my strange thoughts.

Haojing looked up suspiciously, and seeing Haojing's expression made me feel so nasty and disgusting.

"Why did you go with me in the first place?"

My words made Hao Jing's eyes a little flustered.His complexion became bad, and he hung his head.

I am amused by the thoughts in my mind at this time, maybe I didn't go there at that time, so I wouldn't encounter good times.

"I, I..." Haojing looked at me timidly, unable to utter a complete sentence, only the change in his face was the most obvious.

I know this question must be embarrassing, but I really want to break free from the complicated feelings in my heart.

"Do you know who I recognized you as?" I stared at the good scene, feeling as if my vision was blocking people's hearts.

I don't want to do this, but I can't stop the evil thoughts in my heart. I'm afraid that if things go down, some things will definitely go bad.

"What... what?" Haojing's face was pale, and I felt distressed when I saw it. What's more, I still like Haojing very much, so it makes me feel even more uncomfortable.

I don't believe that good scenes don't know. Even if good scenes are like children, who in this society can have an absolutely pure soul?Everyone has learned psychological education in school, and he is no exception.

I don't want to hurt Haojing, I don't want him to show a flustered look, and I don't want him to think I'm disgusting.But I can't go against my will, so hurry up and cut it off.

"It's... a lost child." It's a lie, and I hope I will deceive myself like this in the future.For me, Haojing is just a child, and I shouldn't think too much about it.

Haojing blinked and looked at me blankly, and I smiled at him, "Okay, let's eat."

I picked up the chopsticks, picked up the vegetables to eat, and stopped looking at the good scenery.It also ignores the deepness in Haojing's eyes, which contains emotions that I can't understand.

The atmosphere of the meal was the same as the previous few days, still depressing.I just ate a little and stopped eating, I really don't have the appetite to continue, and like Hao Jing, I don't know how to talk?Perhaps it is better to speak less than to speak more.

"I'm done eating, you can continue to eat." I put down the bowl and chopsticks and got up, ignoring the way Haojing looked at me, and went back to the room.

I went to the closet to find a suit and put it on, and looked at myself in the mirror without knowing it, which was a bit annoying.

There was a knock on the door, and Haojing walked in from the outside, but I didn't look back.Looking through the mirror, I can see Haojing standing behind me, and at the same time, my heart tightens.

Haojing said sadly, "Tujiang, did I do something wrong?"

I'm quite guilty, probably because of my attitude towards him these days, he should have a very obvious feeling.

"No." The voice from the throat couldn't help being a little hoarse.

"Then do you hate... me?" Hao Jing said very aggrieved, which made me think that he might cry.

"Why do you think this way?" I struggled to speak. I hated facing such a conversation the most. I was afraid that I would not be able to control my emotions. In fact, my feelings for Haojing might explode anytime and anywhere.

Haojing's eyes are red, anyone who sees it should feel distressed, and I am no exception.

"You haven't paid much attention to me these days, I thought..." Hao Jing bit her lip and looked at me, her words didn't end.

I also want to know what happened to me?If there is no good time, will everything go back to the way it was before?

"You think too much, how could I hate you?" How I wish I could smile like before, maybe it's okay not to make my facial expression stiff.

Sadness began to appear in the eyes of the good scene again, which made my heart ache, but there was nothing I could do.

"You won't drive me away, will you?" Hao Jing's voice gradually became softer, with some tremors mixed in.

It suddenly occurred to me that the worst thing I did was to bring back the good times, and I fell in love with him.

I was silent, really, judging from my previous thoughts, I should have sent Haojing to the police station instead of letting him live in my own home.I am greedy.

"Good scene, I can't let you live with me all the time, and you..." My voice gradually faded away.

Because the moment I saw Haojing's tears streaming from my eyes, my heart was pulled up and I lost my voice all of a sudden.

Haojing looked at me sadly, she seemed to be very fragile, but in fact she was really fragile, which made me suffer too.

I moved my hand slightly, trying to reach out to comfort Hao Jing, but it was very difficult to even lift that hand.

I told myself over and over in my heart, don't care...don't care...

"I'd better take you to the police station, maybe your parents will come to you." This made me feel cruel. Is this what I said?

After a good scene, Shilu's eyes became sad, and my heart throbbed, but...

but what?

It may be that I am too afraid of the days when this kind of life is disrupted, too afraid of the cruelty of reality.

"Change your clothes, and I'll take you to the police station later." You must let go of the immature feelings in your heart as soon as possible, otherwise it will be too late.

I avoided Haojing's eyes, pulled up my clothes, and started to leave.

Haojing took my hand, and the tears on his face were clearly visible.

"I'll be obedient... Please... don't..." Hao Jing sobbed, her hands were shaking.I immediately felt a little soft-hearted.But in the end, I was still more rational than emotional, so I pushed away Haojing's hand and left the room expressionlessly for the first time.

I didn't even dare to look back at Haojing's face, so I quickly closed the door, only to hear the faint crying sound, which made me feel very distressed.

But what can I do?

Do you want me to tell Haojing that I have other thoughts about him?He's also just a kid, and I can't ruin him.

Forgive me, good times.

I can only think about it silently, but my heart hurts so much.

In a daze, I took out the phone in my pocket and called Xia Qian.

"beep……"

Hearing the long tone on the phone, I walked to the balcony a little restlessly, looking up at the gloomy sky, as if it was about to rain...

"Hello?" Xia Qian's voice sounded, and I looked away.

"Xia Qian, have you arrived at the company yet?" My voice has become a little hoarse, it may be because I have suppressed it for a long time, and now I feel a little uncomfortable.

"Not yet, but soon."

"Please help me ask for a day off." I think I am really exhausted from living, do I really know what I want in my heart like this?

"Well, I see."

"Then I hang up."

I rubbed my temples, then hung up the phone, and when I turned around, I saw a beautiful scene in the house that was a little lonely, and my heart still hurt.

We looked at each other, but I was barely calm enough to even step into the house, which is really not a good behavior.But I have to make a choice, and I am a bit selfish, so I can't change what is light or heavy.

I walked into the house with difficult steps, tried to pretend to be calm and said, "Let's go."

Haojing lowered his head, some long hair covered his eyes, but I didn't dare to look, afraid that I would suddenly change my mind.

I walked straight in front of the good scene, and every step felt like I was doing a daunting task.

But when I walked past Haojing, I held my breath, and then I went to the door to put on my shoes.

And Haojing followed me, and he didn't put it on until I finished wearing it.

I half-opened the door and turned my back to the good view, maybe that way I wouldn't feel bad.

God, if it is possible, I really hope that all the things I expect can be realized, so it is also a way to keep the good times with me.

After going out, I vaguely felt that the weather was not very good, as if it was going to rain.I couldn't help frowning, but I didn't want to turn around and go home to get the umbrella, so I kept walking.In fact, I dare not look back to see the good times, and I don't understand that I haven't fully figured out some things by this time.

This is the first time that I have walked so long that I almost exhausted all my energy.

Just as I was thinking about something, light rain began to drift in the sky.I stopped, and unconsciously dragged Haojing to find a place to hide from the rain.And I didn't notice at all that when I pulled Haojing's hand, Haojing stiffened for a moment.

When I arrived at a place with a shelter, I stopped, glanced at Haojing's hand, hesitated for a moment, and thought about letting go.

At this time, our atmosphere became even more awkward.I put my eyes everywhere, but I didn't want to stop, I was afraid that my eyes would not be able to help but look at Hao Jing.

The scene in the rain is blurry, coming and going, many vehicles stop, drive away, and some only stop.

"Tujiang, can we not go to the police station?" Haojing's voice was so low that it was almost covered by the sporadic sound of rainwater hitting the ground.

If I look back at this time, I can see Haojing's indifferent expression, but his voice sounds a little pitiful.

I stared at the steps next to me. When I heard this sentence, I almost wanted to say no to the police station for Haojing.

But I just think about it in my heart, but I really can't do it.

"Good scene, I'm doing this for your own good..." I said calmly, but am I really doing it for the good scene?

I was thinking about this, and I didn't turn my head to look at the good scene. Maybe some things were just missed at so many moments.

"Really? For me?"

After Haojing said this, I looked up at him, those brown pupils reflected my face, so clear, it made me sink deeper and deeper.

I was a little flustered, trying to avoid that sight, but suddenly Haojing grabbed my hand.

For a moment, there was a little pain in the palm of my hand, but it disappeared quickly, and I happened to meet Haojing's sight.

I stared blankly at the beautiful scene, my heart was beating so fast, as if all other sounds in the world had disappeared, only the sound of my heartbeat.

If only I had met Haojing sooner, then I would have the courage to face the reality of this society and tell this child, Haojing, that I like him even if he rejects me.

It is also better than liking it like this, but fearing the pain of reality.

I lowered my eyes, I really didn't dare to look into the eyes of Haojing, those eyes were like a mirror, which could reflect my timid heart.

"Good scene, you..." My voice froze, and the scene in front of me was suddenly blurred.I stared at the ground under my feet and started to feel dizzy. My brain became heavy for some reason.I raised my eyes to see the beautiful scene clearly, but only a vague outline remained.Then I became dizzy, and my limp body fell into a coma and was caught by Haojing, who had no expression on his face, even a little cold.

"Tujiang, you chose this by yourself, so you can't blame me." Haojing put his arms around the unconscious opponent, as if he said it unintentionally.

Not far away, a black car slowly drove over and parked on the road below the steps of Haojingsuo.

A man with a check collar in a suit got out of the car, holding an umbrella in his hand.

"Second Young Master, Eldest Young Master asked me to pick you up." The man helped Hao Jing hold the umbrella, and Hao Jing just hugged the unconscious person beside him and got into the car without saying a word.

The man withdrew his eyes and got into the car without saying a word.

The black car shuttled through the rain and gradually disappeared.