Dedicated to Luhe

I used to hate ambiguity, and the temptation to come and go is very troublesome and exhausting. In the adult world, especially in the world of adults like us who are teased around by life and work every day, time is Precious, energy is also precious, we really don't have extra energy to do things that may be meaningless in the end.

For people like us, being ambiguous is a very luxurious thing. Compared to hiding in the mist and fighting each other like martial arts masters, it’s better to be more straightforward, stay together if you like, and see you if you don’t love each other, hurry up Ruthless, never waste each other's lives.

However, that state is too idealistic and impersonal, not to mention, for certain people and certain moments, ambiguity is an inevitable and helpless choice.

Just like when I was with Lu He, I could only flirt, not show love.

As I walked toward him, I felt lucky and sad, two emotions fighting in a circle around my head, making me dizzy.

I walked down the overpass with my head down, and when there were still a dozen steps left, I suddenly looked up and saw Lu He standing there looking at me and smiling.

He was standing at the bottom of the last step with his cigarette case in his hand.

The temperature is a bit low today, Lu He is wearing a long black woolen coat, revealing the beige sweater collar.

He is tall and has a good figure. He looked like a male model when he stood there, and I, who just came back from a business trip, looked like a young woodcutter.

I smiled and said, "Can you stop being so handsome?"

"what happened?"

I walked up to Lu He and walked towards his car with him.

"I feel inferior when I stand by your side."

"No need." He opened the co-pilot's door, "Are you tired?"

"It's okay." I sat in and stretched.

Lu He's car is really comfortable. Sitting here makes me so happy that I can't wait to be paralyzed here.

The car is comfortable, warm, and has a faint fragrance, which is really suitable for sleeping.

After getting in the car, Lu He asked me, "Did you have lunch?"

"I ate a box lunch at the train station over there." It was actually quite delicious, but I was in a hurry and ate a little too fast, so I choked.

Lu He nodded and started the car.

"Let's take you home first," Lu He said, "You go back and have a rest, take a shower, and have dinner together at night?"

I leaned against the back of the chair and closed my eyes to meditate. Listening to what he said, I really had the illusion that we were in love.

I haven't talked about it, but I think that after the passion fades, all love will be attributed to this kind of life-commuting to and from work, returning from a business trip, breakfast and dinner, and occasional ///love.

It’s impossible for me to make love with Lu He/////, and I’m not so empty and lonely. I must lure people to do this kind of thing. There is always a river between gays and straight men, and they can look at each other Knowing or even understanding, but it is never possible to cross that river and come together. In many cases, if you really have to not believe in evil, the result may be drowning.

This is the experience summed up by the predecessors, not my family's words.

"Are you distracted again?"

Lu He's voice made me open my eyes.

"Nearly fell asleep," I said, "I was too tired from the car ride."

I deliberately changed the topic: "I used to sit on a hard seat for more than ten hours and go back to my hometown to celebrate the New Year. I didn't think it was a big deal. Now I'm so tired after taking the high-speed train for an hour. I'm really old."

Lu He smiled and asked me, "Is your hometown far away?"

"Well, there is no direct high-speed rail. If you want to go back during the Chinese New Year, you have to grab a ticket. Basically, you can't get a sleeper berth." I said, "Every year during the Spring Festival, I have to have a hard seat, which is quite a test of one's will."

"Sounds exhausting."

"It's really tiring. There are only a few days off during the Spring Festival, and [-] hours are spent on the road," I said with emotion, "There is no easy word in the world of adults."

Lu He laughed and nodded in agreement.

He drove me in the direction of my house, and I asked him, "Are you busy today?"

"Well, I went to the company to work overtime yesterday and this morning, and I'm fine now."

I really wanted to ask Lu He if he hurried to finish his work in the morning just to pick me up, but I really couldn't ask this question, it was too self-indulgent.

"Is this business trip going well?"

"It went very well. I had a meeting for a day and a half, and only one hour of it was for me to summarize the previous project. The rest of the time I just sat there and listened to others." I was so tired that my back hurt from sitting.

"Go back to sleep later." Lu He said, "I'll take you back, you should have a good rest, and I'll come and find you for dinner tonight."

In this way, I arrived downstairs at my house. I got out of the car with my luggage and made an appointment with Lu He to meet at six o'clock in the evening.

Lu He asked me to have a good rest and contact him later. I actually wanted to ask him what his plans were for these few hours, but since he didn't take the initiative to tell me, I stopped talking.

But when I took a shower and stood by the window to dry my hair and go to sleep, I saw Lu He downstairs. He was a handsome young man standing next to the small flower bed downstairs watching those old men play chess. .

At first I thought I was wrong, so I opened the window and leaned halfway out.

That's right, it's Lu He.

He stood there, looking very seriously.

So, there is no arrangement for him in these few hours, just waiting for me?

I yelled at him, calling his name directly.

Lu He was taken aback, and looked up at me.

At that moment, I seemed to be hit by something, probably a fallen leaf in autumn, which sneaked into my heart when I was not prepared, and then revived in my body, and a fresh spring grew.