PS. 1437

sixteen

"Ape, are you free tomorrow afternoon?" Joan asked me one day.

"Yes, I only have meetings in the morning." I said.

"Then can you pick up a junior at the airport? He's from California." She asked me.

"California?" I was a little puzzled.

"Well, he said that he is ABT, and his parents are Taiwanese with dual nationality. He grew up in the United States, but high school, university, and graduate school have participated in associations or alumni associations for Taiwanese international students, and he feels quite proactive. "she told me.

"Oh yes, I'll ask Alisha to accompany me." I promised her.

"This is his photo. His name is Xing Yuyu, and his English name is Philip. He said that his plane will arrive at [-]:[-] pm." Joan handed me a folder.

I picked it up, flipped it over, threw it on the passenger seat, and drove home.

At noon the next day, Alisha and I had lunch together, and then watched TV at her house. At about 02:30 in the afternoon, we set off for the airport together.

"Tsk tsk, you're quite handsome." Alisha picked up the files I threw in the front seat, flipped through them and said.

"Yeah, is it your dish?" I asked her.

"Wow, I'm still a high-achieving student. I'm going to study for a PhD at the age of 23, and I've got two master's degrees." She continued to look down.

"Oh, that's pretty good." I nodded.

"It seems that I have met someone who can compete with you." Alisha smiled awkwardly.

"Obviously I lost. I don't want to study for a PhD until I'm 26, and I only have a master's degree." I said angrily.

"Oh, you really are..." I knew what she wanted to say, but I didn't want to go along with it.

"You'd better study how to find him quickly, and wait until you find him." I made a decision.

"Oh, okay..." she agreed reluctantly.

I saw that she didn't speak, and I drove the car on my own, without saying anything.

"Do you still miss her?" She suddenly said after a while.

I know what she's talking about.

"Sometimes, what's the matter?" I looked at the front and answered her.

"You know? Maybe you will feel that I am speaking for her, but as long as I see your car, I will feel that she loves you very much." She said.

"Why do you say that?" I asked her.

"I remember when she was discussing with me about buying a car for you, she studied it for a long time and did a lot of homework before deciding. She also smiled and told me that she was not so cautious when buying a car herself." Think back and say.

"Do you know what kind of car she drives in Taiwan?" I asked her with a smile.

She shook her head.

"Her car is a Porsche 911." I said with a smile. I still remember the feeling of driving a 911 very clearly.

"Really?! Are you kidding me?" she yelled.

"Why am I lying to you, when I first learned to drive, the first car I drove on the road was her 911!" I continued telling her.

"My God! Suape! Your life is too much like Adventures!" Her comparison made me laugh out loud.

"I think so too..." I said helplessly.

"So she means that she bought a 911 just because she thought of it?" She suddenly brought the topic back.

"The reason why she bought the 911 really made her buy it without thinking too much..." I thought about what she said to me at that time.

"But when she bought your car, she really looked at it for a long time. And you should also know that Audi is not cheap..." she said.

I nodded and told her about the quarrel after buying the car.

"Maybe it was because of that time, so let her really decide to leave me." I said helplessly.

"It was you who grew up suddenly and scared her." She nodded.

"Hey, it's useless to say these things now, people just leave when they leave." I came to the conclusion.

"I think you're really strong, take it easy." She stared at me.

"Because there's no reason and no time to be weak," I said flatly.

"As expected of a mind-reader, you can control your mind so well." She said, but I sounded ironic.

I smiled wryly and didn't answer.

"You, want to go back to her?" She asked again.

"Yes, I will finish my studies." I nodded and said.

"How are you sure she will be in Taiwan?" It's not that I haven't thought about her question.

"Not sure, but there must be some clues. I haven't thought of that yet, I just want to finish reading quickly." I answered her.

"Well, come on," she said.

I nodded.

Soon after we arrived at the airport, I put Alisha off the car and asked her to find my junior, and I drove around.

Alisha is worthy of being the "King of Finding People" among us, and she found her in a short while.

Philip put the luggage on my car, and the two got on the car together.

"Hi sister, I'm Philip, you can call me Phil." He introduced himself.

"Just call me Ape." I smiled at the rearview mirror.

"Senior Ape is so right." He said suddenly.

"Student, don't be so sweet, I will be responsible for driving you to school safely." I was not grateful for his praise, but a little disgusted.

For the rest of the drive, Alisha was talking to him, and I concentrated on driving.

But I'm not listening to what they say, so it shouldn't be important.

After more than an hour, we returned to school.

I first drove them to the classroom where the new students were welcomed in the evening, and just found an excuse to sneak home for a while.

I have to admit that Alisha's problem in the car made my heart restless again, and I need to be alone.

After I got home, I mustered up the courage to take out the letter she wrote and read it again. This time I realized that there was an extra "143" after the "PS7" that she usually wrote.Why didn't I find out before?

"PS143" has become "PS143,7", what does that "7" mean?I stared at those words for a long time, but I couldn't think of them until I received a call from Joan urging me to go out.

I put away the letter and went out with my doubts about "7".

I parked the car, opened the door and got out, and looked up to see Philip walking towards me.

"Hi! Sister." He waved his hand to greet me.

"Hi! Why are you outside?" I greeted him politely.

"I want to talk about it, but it's too lively inside, and I'm not used to it," he said.

"Yes. Then I will go in first." I said with a smile.

"Wait, I'll be with you!" He suddenly caught up.

When I entered the orientation hall and looked up to see the arrangement on the blackboard in the classroom, I suddenly understood what the "7" meant.

Joan and the others used gold and silver paper to cut out the last word of "WearefamilyHEREandFOREVER!!", forever, just seven letters, which should be the last "7" she added!

"Are you going to tell me forever?" I muttered to myself looking at the shining words reflecting the light.

"What?" Philip asked me, looking down.

Fortunately, the music around me covered me.

"Nothing." I shook my head, ignored his reaction, and started looking for Joan and Alisha.

Not too difficult, I found Alisha in the crowd.

She took me to meet a few new juniors and classmates, but soon, I was too noisy by the deafening music.

"It's so noisy here, I have to go back." I shouted in her ear.

"Did you just come? Why are you leaving?" We really had to roar to hear what the other party was saying.

"At least I showed my face. You can call me later." After I finished, I turned to leave.

"I'll find you later, I have something to tell you." She grabbed me and shouted hard.

"Okay, I see." I finished, and after some hard work, I finally squeezed out of the classroom.

When I came out, I saw Philip talking on the phone outside the classroom. I nodded to him and drove away.

After returning home, I uncontrollably took out her letter, read it a few times and put it on the coffee table, staring at the ceiling in a daze.

What suddenly appeared in her mind was the big and shiny "FOREVER". Is this really what she wanted to say?

What else is 7 words, and then can be placed after Iloveyou?By the way, goodbye is also seven words...

Is it because I miss her so much?Or am I expecting something? Forever, forever, a very heavy and heavy word.

After some time, Alisha came, and I opened the door to let her in.

"What are you doing?" She asked me with blank eyes.

"No." I said innocently.

"Are you unconscious?" She reached out and wiped my face.

I just found out that my cheeks were wet unknowingly.

"What's the matter with you?" She pulled me to sit on the sofa and glanced at the letter paper on the coffee table.

"MayI" she looked at me and asked.

I nodded.

I got up, got two cans of Coke from the fridge, gave her one, and sat back on the couch.

"What does the PS143,7 in the last line mean?" She pointed to that line and asked me.

I picked up the pencil on the desk and wrote "PatriciaSuIloveyou" below.

"What did she think?" she asked me.

I nodded.

"What about the next 7?" She continued to ask.

"I don't know, maybe, it's forever. I saw the words Joan and the others posted on the whiteboard at the orientation meeting today and suddenly thought of it." I said.

"So...it will become: PatriciaSuIloveyou, forever" she said softly, but every word hit my heart heavily.

"Maybe. But goodbye is also seven words." I looked at the ceiling.

"I think she really loves you." Alisha put the letter back on the coffee table.

"Maybe." I gave her a wry smile.

"How deep do you think you have to love someone before you have the courage to let go of her?" She asked me.

I gave her a puzzled look, not understanding why she suddenly asked this.

"Compared with accompanying love, letting go of love requires more courage and trust, doesn't it? Courage is not only about letting go, but more about leaving the one you love and bravely adapting to being alone again. You should I understand, once I get used to the warmth of companionship, it will take double effort to get used to loneliness again." She looked at me and said.

I can only nod.

"What about trust?" I asked her.

"Trust... Believe that even if you let go, the other person will understand; believe that after you let go, you can still bless the other person even if you let go first; believe that if you let go, you can still continue to love the other person; and, Believe that the other party can live well without you; believe that the other party will still remember you after you leave; believe that the other party has enough ability to adapt to the future without yourself. I think she really believes in you, That's why I dare to take the risk." What she said made me wonder how to respond for a moment.

"She sees separation as a test, what about you?" she asked me back.

"I...I don't know." I said honestly.

"She believes in you, it's you, it's not her or you, it's you who can pass this test; she believes that you are destined, Su Yunxian, what are you going to show her? When you meet again one day. You will It’s true that you are very accomplished and excellent, but no one knows whether you can really catch up with her. But I know that if you still can’t realize that this is the expression of her deep love for you, you have to catch up with her It's still long!" She said as if teaching me a lesson.

I could only stare at her blankly, like a child woken up by a stick.

If this is the way she chooses to love me now, shouldn't I learn to accept and understand?

After a while, she opened her arms and hugged me, and I rested my head lightly on her shoulder.

"Actually, you don't have to be so strong." She said suddenly.

With a sudden jolt, I left her shoulders.

"Is this why you came to me?" I asked her.

"Oh, why are you so defensive? Really." She complained helplessly, but there was nothing she could do.

"I came here to tell you that that junior seems to be quite interested in you." She said with a malicious smile.

"Then?" I raised my eyebrows, not understanding why she told me this.

"Just tell you." Her nonsense suddenly appeared again.

"Why are you telling me this? It's not like no one has chased me before." I said angrily.

"But his ambition is so strong, I have never felt it from those people before." She said.

"Oh, it doesn't matter, anyway, I have only one goal now, to return to Taiwan after finishing my studies, that's all." I said.

"What would you tell her if you found her?" She asked a question I couldn't answer.

"I don't know, I haven't thought about it." I said honestly.

"Oh, you really... don't know what to say." She hesitated to speak.

"Then stop talking, you should go back, it's very late." I issued an order to evict the guest.

She didn't say anything more, she stood up obediently and moved towards the door.

"Ape, do you still love her? I think you have to think about it. What are you trying so hard to finish your studies and go back to Taiwan to find her? I believe she really still loves you. What about you? After she finished speaking, she left my house without looking back at me.

"Do I still love you? What do you think? Do you still love me? I really don't know... I still can't understand the kind of love that Alisha said... What should I do now? Why can you be so chic If you say let it go, let it go, leave me and leave?" I looked at the photo on the computer that we took together two months ago.

Only then did I realize that I almost forgot what she looked like, probably because I was so busy.

"Just keep going like this. Even if you don't know what to work hard for, at least, this will save me time to think about you and the things between us... just let me, keep busy." I faced the computer Here, the face I was most familiar with whispered.

Then I turned off the computer, took a shower with tears in my eyes, and went to bed.

About this, I didn't tell Xiaojie, I didn't want him to worry.

In the following days, I allowed myself to spend endlessly busy.

In addition to labs, papers, internships, and classes, the spare time is also taken up by Alisha and the others.

"That's fine," I thought, "This kind of life without myself is the best for me."

But no matter how busy I am, as soon as I get in the car, I can't escape from her, because the car is given by her.

"Isn't this what you premeditated? I can't escape from you no matter what. You are the one who forced me to face up to the confusion between you and myself." Half a year later, I gradually could face this matter calmly.

Is it hurt?I guess so.

The phone rang.

"Ape, are you coming?" Alisha's voice came from the headset.

"It's driving now," I said.

"Oh well, see you later." She finished and hung up the phone herself.

At the beginning of the new semester, in addition to the original one-hangers, there are several new juniors, of course Philip is one of them.

There are more and more people eating and playing together. With more people, I can talk less, which is quite acceptable to me.

And after getting along for a while, I don't seem to hate Philip so much.

In some ways he resembles Xiaojie.

"Sister Apei!" As soon as I entered the restaurant, I saw Philip greet me loudly.

"Brother Xiaolu!" He is very proficient in this kind of "social skills".

I quickly integrated into everyone's topic, put on a smiling mask, and continued to fill my time.

"Sister, I've been so depressed lately." When everyone was gradually dispersing, Philip suddenly ran up to me.

"Who is your sister? Stop screaming over there." I glared at him.

"Oh, don't do this, just listen to me complaining." He was cheeky.

"Hey, okay, okay, if you have something to say, let it go, sister, I have to go back and read the paper." I urged him.

Probably people who are smarter than the average person will have the so-called "genius' distress".For him who obtained two master's degrees at a young age and then went on to study for a PhD, the fierce competition in the academic world and his older classmates made him uncomfortable.

"Sometimes I wish I was a little dumber," he often said.

I remember Xiaojie also said the same thing in high school.

"When you're stupid, you wish you were smarter," I told him.

Maybe it's because I projected a part of "Xiaojie" on him unconsciously, and I gradually got used to his appearing from time to time with a melancholy expression.

I know that, the shadow of Sunshine Boy in private.

I gradually got used to him appearing in my life. As for his invitation, as long as I am not alone, I will go there when I have time.We often talk on the phone, but it's not the kind of guy who stays up all night talking all night. I always keep a certain distance from him.

I just think of him as a brother.

But in the group, there will be those whores and nosy people, who love to "match" enthusiastically when they have nothing to do. When gossip and rumors start to spread, I don't think it's hard not to be alone with him.

Everyone is saying he likes me, he is chasing me, but it is also very clear that we have nothing.

My life has not changed in any way because of his appearance.

Not for him not to attend any party; not for him to turn down someone's appointment; not for him to sacrifice sleep time; not because his research progress is slowed down; not because he is a little free; not because of which girls he gets close to Jealous; not affected by his bad mood... Simply put, I still live my life, and he is still the role of flower arrangement.

Of course, the only person who knows the whole truth is Alisha.

In this way, a year passed quickly, and summer came again.

Alisha, who was going to DC to study for a PhD, gave up DC because she couldn't stand the boss's retention and the temptation of the scholarship, and chose to continue here.

But she also went back to Taiwan during the summer vacation of her master’s degree.

"Sister, you don't even go back to Taiwan?" He asked me suddenly one day.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"You're so strong, you don't even miss home." He said with admiration.

"Hmm." I didn't want to say anything more.

"Compared to you, I really seem like a little boy who doesn't grow up." He said sitting next to me.

"Yeah, a little boy who won't grow up." I rubbed his head with my hand.

"Ho! You thought you were rubbing a dog?" he protested.

"No, I'm playing with little boys." I said with a smile.

"I'm going back to California tomorrow for a week," he told me.

"That's great, let's do it while you're on vacation," I said.

"Do you want to come to my house to play? It's rare that my mommy will be there too!" He invited me.

"Is she not around usually?" I asked.

"That's right, she's usually not here, so it's rare." He said.

But I don't want to ask too much, I'm not a person who is interested in the surrounding environment.

"Oh, yes. Then you should make good use of the time you spend with her." Should I be rejecting him?

"Do you want to come? You often come and go alone." He looked at me seriously and said.

"No, I want to do my research quickly, and I still have the pressure of internship hours. And you, just stay with your parents!" After I finished speaking, I patted him on the shoulder and walked to the car .

"Sister, you have to be careful when you stay at school by yourself. If you need anything, you can call me." He reminded me behind my back.

I waved my back to him.

I know I won't, I mean call him.In fact, during the year we met, I didn't take the initiative to call him once.

He likes me, everyone knows it, and I know it too.

Alisha once asked me what to do, and I told him that I would play dumb and pretend I didn't know anything until he said so.But I also don't give him any expectations or hopes.

What about after he said it?I haven't thought about it that much.

Anyway, no matter how you deal with it, the result is rejection, it's just the way of rejection, and whether it will be embarrassing after rejection.

Let's wait until it happens.