PS. 1437

Eight

Since that day, I have liked the teacher more and more, but our relationship has not changed much.

I am very discouraged.Especially after knowing that there is always a "he" in the teacher's heart, I feel that no matter how hard I try, there will always be a distance between us that I can't get close to.

Instead of this, I think, I'd better stop it as soon as possible before it's completely sunk.

I began to dodge the teacher's kindness to me, and tried my best to find reasons to refuse her invitation to have dinner together.

I know that one day she will find out that I am avoiding her, and I don't know how to explain it when she asks, anyway, I just hold the ostrich mentality of avoiding once and counting once.

"You've made great progress recently!" said the teacher after reading my essay.

"Oh, it's okay, hehe!" I replied with a smile.

Because I have to learn not to think about her anymore, I desperately use reading to fill up all the time.

"The grammar that was often wrong before is no longer wrong, very good!" The teacher handed me my essay back.

"Maybe I've worked harder recently." I said.

"Oh? Did something happen? You used to work hard too, I feel." The teacher looked at me and asked.

"It's nothing, I just don't want to mess around anymore." I smiled dryly, but in fact, what I was thinking in my head was how to leave as soon as possible.

"What does it mean to be in a mess?" The teacher looked at me and asked.

"It's just... not paying attention." I replied with a guilty conscience.

"Oh, so now you are so focused that you won't be in a daze?" the teacher asked again.

I nodded.

"Then why were you in a daze before?" The teacher seemed not to let me go.

"If you're in a daze, you're in a daze, your mind is empty." I said.

But what I didn't say is, "Because I was in a daze before, I was thinking about you, and now I don't think about you, so naturally I won't be in a daze."

"Oh yes, well, let's go eat then." The teacher said after glancing at the clock on the wall.

"No, I have something to do tonight, so I may not be able to have dinner with the teacher." I said as I quickly put my things back into the bag and started to move towards the door.

"You've been very busy recently. This is the third time you've rejected me." The teacher said as he watched me move towards the door.

"Is there?" I pretended to be stupid.

"Is there something you didn't tell me?" The teacher's tone rose slightly.

"No." I said innocently.But the heartbeat is too fast.

"Really? Well, then you go home and be careful." The teacher seemed willing to let me go.

"Oh, thank you teacher!" I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly moved to the door.

"Trish," as I was holding the doorknob to open the door, I suddenly heard the teacher call me, and I stopped.

"You are hiding from me, aren't you? (You are hiding from me, aren't you?)" The teacher explained my recent behavior.

I know she is very serious. After getting along with her for a while, I know very well that when she becomes serious, she will subconsciously start speaking English. It is really subconscious, because she often doesn't realize it...

And I know very well that when she gets serious, I can't get away with it no matter what...

"No, no, teacher, you think too much..." I was still struggling.

"Really? Then if I say that your attitude towards me and the way you look at me are different from before, how do you explain it?" It seems that the teacher really needs to ask the truth today before he is willing to ask.

"No, teacher, you are thinking too much." Since he didn't know how to confess, he simply continued to play dead.

"Really? When you saw me before, it was like a child seeing an idol star, his eyes were full of admiration; but recently you hardly looked at me at all, otherwise the eyes that looked at me would be like dodging like doing something wrong, you Are you hiding from me on purpose?" The teacher analyzed accurately.

I looked down at the ground, but I could feel the teacher's eyes looking straight at me.

"Did I do something or say something that made you unhappy?" the teacher asked softly.

"No." I answered honestly.

"Then why are you hiding from me?" The teacher came closer, and the tip of the high heels appeared in my sight.

"Because when I see you, I will think that you will always have him in your heart, and then I will never be able to really get close to your heart." How can I say this kind of words, isn't it equivalent to confessing?

I can only continue to bow my head in silence.

"Remember what I told you, you are a very special and important student to me, so I will especially want to take care of you and care about you..." The teacher took my hand and said.

"But this kind of relationship will end one day, and I don't want to spend more effort to adapt to my own life after getting used to your warmth." When I realized what I said, the words had already arrived Dot.

This time, it was the teacher who was stunned.

"I'm sorry, teacher, I can't bear your kindness to me." I gently pulled my hand away from between her hands.

I think, this time I pushed her out of my world.

I turned around slowly, opened the door, and left.

After closing the door of the laboratory, the teacher was also shut out.

do i want to cryshould i cryMaybe.But I have neither.

Instead, I felt that I had done something that should be done.

It's just that I didn't feel relieved at all, on the contrary, it was even heavier.

I shook my head and told myself that I'm just used to the kindness of the teacher, the love of the teacher, and the warmth of the teacher, and I can soon get used to living alone like before.

I arrived at the bus stop, but instead of taking the bus home, I took the bus in the opposite direction. I wanted to go to the embankment where the teacher told me the story.

Why do you want to go?I don't know either.

I sat by the riverbank, thinking about what just happened, wondering if it was a good idea to do that, and I pushed out of my world a person who cared about me, cared about me, and I also cared about.

Because I am afraid that I cannot leave her, I am afraid that I will be too dependent on her, and I am afraid of the pain of being separated from her one day.

So the ostrich chose what he thought was the best method, and got out before he got too deep, but found that I missed her so much.

Before I knew it, she had completely invaded my life.In the past few days, I deliberately ignored her and didn't think about her. I was just deceiving myself. I just wanted to prove that even without her, I can be fine by myself.

Yeah, I can do just fine without her.An empty piece is fine.

I don't know how long it took, but it started to rain suddenly, and the raindrops dripped on my face, and I came back to my senses.

I looked at my watch, it was getting late, I got up and started on my way home.

I looked up at the alley and saw that the house was still dark.Xiaojie should not be home yet.

I turned around and took the keys out of my backpack.

"I thought you weren't going home." I saw the teacher get off the 911 parked in front of my house.

The black car was just blocked by the black trees on the side of the road. I didn't notice that it was the teacher's 911.

I was taken aback and didn't understand why the teacher was here.

"What? Did you see me stay away?" The teacher said with a charming smile.

As if nothing happened.

"Teacher, you, why are you here?" I calmed down and asked.

"Because there is an idiot who seems to have done something stupid that he doesn't even know what he is doing. I have to come out and save her before she regrets it and gives up on herself." The teacher walked towards me with a smile.

"Why do you know?" I looked at her and asked.

"There is no reason, I just know. I understand your stubbornness." Her answer was very strong.

I lowered my head and tears slowly rolled down my cheeks.

"Okay, don't cry." The teacher leaned my head on her shoulder.

I really don't understand why she can always easily see through my thoughts.If this was the case, would she have known that I liked her long ago.

"I have something to tell you, can I go up and say it?" After a while, the teacher said.

I nodded, opened the door and went upstairs with the teacher.

I poured her a glass of water and sat down on the other end of the sofa.

"Why do you say that such a relationship will end one day?" After a while of silence, the teacher spoke first.

"Because... I'm graduating soon," I said.

But the real answer is actually, because I am not satisfied with just being a student to you.

"After graduation, I am no longer your teacher, so we have become strangers?" The teacher continued to ask.

"No...it's..." I didn't know how to speak.

"What is it?" The teacher didn't let me go.

"Yes..." I couldn't say what I wanted to say.

"You don't want to be just a student, do you?" The teacher himself said the answer that I couldn't say.

I stared at her with wide eyes.

She just smiled lightly.

"Stupid child, although I am close to the age of old and fading, the market has been good since I was young. How can I not know what you are doing when you are usually in a daze and absent-minded? I just want to see if you will Tian said it by himself... I wanted to say that last time you even asked if you could give me a hug, this shouldn't be a big problem. Who knows, I think if I don't poke you, you will run away." Teacher Very straightforward, without embellishment.

"Teacher, when did you know?" I looked at her blankly and asked.

"When did you know... Probably from the time you stared at me in the first class, you know, women's intuition is very accurate in certain aspects." The teacher said it very easily, and I gradually relax.

"Then since you know, why are you still being so nice to me?" I admit that I asked this with anticipation.

"Because this incident will not change your specialness to me." The teacher said this answer again.

"What's the specificity anyway? I really don't like hearing that ambiguous answer." I know I'm a bit annoyed by this answer.

"I'm sorry, it's really not time to tell you about this. But don't worry, I won't change my attitude towards you just because you like me." The teacher's attitude of not answering the question was still firm.

"So...you won't be uncomfortable or..." I asked hesitantly.

"Uncomfortable? Why? Because you are a student? Or because you are a girl?" the teacher asked me with a wink.

"Both..." I said.

"No, if I were 15 years younger, maybe I would agree to you! Hehe!" The teacher must be joking.

"So, what the teacher cares about is age and nothing else?" I asked instead.

"Yes, think about it, we are 16 years younger! When you get your doctorate at 30 and your life is about to take off, I am almost 50; It's over half a century... It's scary just thinking about it." The teacher shuddered intentionally.

"It's like this..." I thought about what the teacher said, is it really impossible to cross the distance of 16 years old?

"So, going back to what you said this afternoon, I can say that our relationship won't end when you graduate, and you're not just a student, and I know what you want, but forgive me, I can only I’m good to you, I can’t give you what you want.” When the teacher said these words, the confusion she had when she looked at the sky that night appeared again.

"I know, because the teacher still has someone else in his heart." I regretted it as soon as I said it.

The teacher changed and stared at me.

I couldn't understand the way she looked at me.

"Maybe. But I've been thinking lately, it's time to let go." She sighed softly.

"Why?" I asked involuntarily.

"Because, more than 20 years is enough. Besides, he won't be happy seeing me like this." After the teacher finished speaking, he smiled helplessly.

"He will feel sorry for you." I looked at the teacher and said.

"Well, I think he will." The teacher nodded.

"What about you?" She immediately asked in the next second.

"Me? Me too." I could feel the temperature of my cheeks rising rapidly as I spoke.

"Really?" The teacher deliberately moved closer to my face.

"Really." I nodded.

"You're really cute. It's a pity you're too young, alas." The teacher reached out and ruffled my hair.

"Oh..." I lowered my head helplessly.

"Okay, the matter is settled, and it's time for me to go back." The teacher stood up and said.

"Oh, I'll take the teacher down." I followed and stood up.

At this time, the door of the house was opened.It's Xiaojie.

"Hey hey hey! Sister, I'm back!" He always said while opening the door.

"Oh, you're back." I pulled the door open.

"The teacher is here too!" He said happily when he saw the teacher.

"Yes, come to your house if you have anything to do." The teacher said with a smile.

"Ha! That's just right, I brought a bunch of things back, let's eat together!" Xiaojie held a lot of food in his hands.

"What are you doing? Why do you buy so many things?" I asked him.

"No, just now I suddenly wanted to walk, so I walked back from the MRT station, and bought whatever I wanted to eat along the way, who knew that I bought such a bunch of them silently... Anyway, you are with the teacher, I believe We can finish it!" he said as he walked into the kitchen, the two of us following behind him.

After a while, the dining table was filled with the food he foraged along the way.

"Sister, we haven't eaten together at the table for a long time." He said while eating.

"Really." I said too.

"Then it's an honor for me to be a part of your family time." The teacher joined in.

The teacher didn't leave until after supper and helped us pack up our things.

After she left, I told Xiaojie what happened today.

"Oh, so you still have a chance." Xiaojie said after listening.

"No way, she said that we are too far behind." I said dejectedly.

"Oh, but she also said that she would like you." Xiaojie said again.

"Yes, under the premise that I am 15 years older or she is 15 years younger." I replied angrily.

"But she likes you." He kept emphasizing this.

"But I can't get old, and she can't get young." I'm really powerless about this.

"Oh, no, I believe you still have a chance, but now you have to take the initiative." Xiaojie suddenly analyzed seriously.

"Yeah?" I was taken aback by his seriousness.

"Yes, if you are really as special as she said, it means that you are irreplaceable to her. To some extent, she has you in her heart, but she can't convince herself to be with you. Someone so much younger than her." Xiaojie's words sounded quite reasonable.

"So now it becomes me chasing her?" I looked at him and asked.

"To be honest, I don't know how you're going to chase after me... To be honest, you can probably only spend the time you spend together to get her used to your existence. If she gets used to you less, she will feel strange, so she should start to take it seriously. Let's look at your relationship." Xiaojie concluded.

"Oh, well, I see." I silently began to think in my heart, how to fight back, so that I can also invade her world, and let her face up to my existence.

Before going to bed, I sent her a text message.

"Is 16 really a distance I can't cross? Or, are you refusing to let me cross it?"

But she didn't reply.

That night, I fell asleep holding my phone.