under fern mountain

Shi Ran's hands fumbled nervously on the edge of the bed, and finally caught the lighted switch along the cable.He pinched it down hard, and his fingertips turned blue-white until the light flickered and then went out.Pei Haojie's chest rose and fell, she took a quick breath, and then opened her eyes in the darkness.

Shi Ran didn't turn on the light, he still kept his kneeling posture, and stared silently at Pei Haojie who just opened his eyes.

"What's going on?" It took him a long time to find his voice, "You wear this...to sleep?"

"I was indeed sleeping, you woke me up." Pei Haojie's voice sounded a little hoarse, it was indeed the voice of just waking up.

Shi Ran picked up the cable with his index finger: "You are in the game."

"I sleep in the game." Pei Haojie pinched the bridge of her nose, "I've been under a lot of pressure lately, and I can't sleep well. When I'm inside, I can shield my external emotions and senses, allowing me to sleep better..."

"It's ridiculous." Shi Ran got off the bed with bare feet, and he paced back and forth in the room of more than ten square meters, "It's ridiculous...it's ridiculous!"

"It's nothing, really!" Pei Haojie followed him, not thinking about how to comfort him.

"Is it because of me?" Shi Ran stopped and looked at him.

"what?"

Shi Ran stood by the bed and didn't move: "Is it because I put pressure on you? During the day, we each have our own busy schedules. Only when you hug me on the bed, I feel closest to you. I thought you were the same. You don't even want to sleep next to me at all...and hide the host under the bed, do you have any long-term plans? Tell me what you think?"

"No, it's not... Shhh, of course, calm down!" Pei Haojie quickly got up and hugged him, stroking his back, "Listen to me, I just didn't sleep well, so I just wanted to try it on a whim, don't think about it." Too much. You are afraid, you don’t like it, I won’t be like this in the future, I will move the host away tomorrow, I will ask the doctor to prescribe some sleeping pills, and I won’t be like this anymore!”

If you hug Shi Ran's body, you will find that he is trembling slightly, his mood is not stable, and his hands and feet are cold.His rapid breathing gradually calmed down in Pei Haojie's embrace, and a coolness still permeated the back of his sweaty neck.

"Is that so?" It took him a long time to ask, his voice was a little tired, but there was no fear anymore.

"Yeah." Pei Haojie hugged him for a while before letting go, "Now let's go back to bed and sleep well?"

Shi Ran didn't speak, Pei Haojie pulled him back to the bed with his acquiescence.He took off the music reader, opened the bed curtain and turned off the host, and the room became silent.The quilt was wrapped around the two of them, Pei Haojie held Shi Ran firmly in her arms, and clamped his cold feet with her legs.Shi Ran's hair rubbed against his neck, and slowly, his hands wrapped around his arms, and his stiff body softened.

Pei Haojie thought he was asleep, but he was looking at the swaying tree shadows outside the window.

"What kind of game is Messiah?"

"Ok?"

"It's scary."

"It's just because you haven't been in contact with this type." Pei Haojie circled him tighter, "Horror games can also make you feel scared, and so do horror movies. In fact, they are all sensory stimulation, and they are all fake. "

Shi Ran didn't speak anymore, he wrapped himself very tightly with the quilt, and even suspected that he would sweat in the middle of the night, so he gradually fell asleep amidst the restlessness.

The next day was Christmas Eve, Pei Haojie spared the whole night to go out for dinner with Shi Ran.

The restaurant was booked by Shi Ran, an Italian restaurant with romantic lighting and boundless atmosphere.The two enjoyed food and wine and walked back along the colorful streets.Every restaurant was full tonight, the car was parked in the parking lot two blocks away, Shi Ran held Pei Haojie's hand, and glanced meaninglessly at the shop windows along the road.They walked around the streets, pushing the doors of every store with bright lights, and picked two mousse cakes with Santa Claus in a cake shop, and then walked towards the parking lot with one of them. .

Back home, Shi Ran took out the white Christmas tree and a large bag of decorations bought two years ago from the warehouse, and stood it in the corner by the dining table.Christmas music was playing on the TV, and the two of them squatted on the carpet and picked from the bag. They arranged the Christmas tree appropriately and wrapped it with colorful lights.

They ate Santa Claus's mousse cake at the dining table, and when twelve o'clock came, they took out each other's Christmas presents as before, and kissed under the tree.

Pei Haojie's lips were cold and dry, reminding Shi Ran of the snow in the north.

He looked out of the dark window and thought irrelevantly that there was no snow on Christmas Eve this year.

The only downside was the big star on the top of the Christmas tree, which they couldn't find all night.

Shi Ran no longer saw the host computer under the bed, and the music reader no longer appeared in the bedroom. Other than that, their lives have not changed much.

His sudden resignation led to the necessary busyness at the end of the year, and he returned to the state where he often worked overtime until midnight some time ago, and he wanted to sleep to death when he returned home.It's just that Pei Haojie seldom went downstairs to pick him up again, Shi Ran comforted himself several times that the quality of his work was not what it used to be, but at certain moments he still brooded over the fact that Pei Haojie no longer pestered him.The rhythm of the two people's life is three o'clock and one line for breakfast, dinner, and sleep. The desire and restlessness seem to have disappeared from their bodies.

On the night when the first heavy snow fell, Shi Ran finally escaped from his busy work.

In his office, he watched the snow foam outside the window. It was tiny particles at first, and then it turned into a cloud of snow, enveloping the entire city.The black asphalt road was gradually replaced by white, and the buildings 50 meters away completely disappeared, and the headlights cast a bright and straight beam, shining on countless fluttering crystals.The people in the company had already left seven or eight times, and the temperature difference quickly condensed a layer of mist on the floor-to-ceiling windows.Some interns drew bunnies on the glass and called their boyfriends in a low but pleasant voice.

Shi Ran took a photo of the white window and sent it to Pei Haojie's WeChat: It's snowing.

After posting the photos, he discovered that the last chat between the two of them was seventeen days ago.

He was the last one to leave the office. After turning off the lights and locking the door, he realized that he didn't bring an umbrella. Finally, he scanned the QR code in the building to borrow one, and then stopped the car for 10 minutes in the heavy snow, but found nothing.The smoothness of the car-hailing software was displayed in red, and no one took orders for half a day.

Taking out her mobile phone, Pei Haojie still hasn't replied to him.Shi Ran sent another message asking if he could come to pick him up, but he still didn't receive a reply within 10 minutes.During the period, he hung up three calls to Pei Haojie, none of which were answered, and finally someone took the order online before his trouser legs were soaked, and rescued his numb and stiff hands from the cold.

He came home half an hour later, and the air in the room was warm and soft—there were six radiators in total in their house, and they had been heating since last week, and they couldn't even use the air conditioner.The light was on in the house, there was rice in the pot, and it was obvious that someone was at home.

Shi Ran knew where Pei Haojie was without even thinking about it.

Pushing open the door of the game room, Pei Haojie sat on the bay window as before, probably it was a bit cold today, he was wearing a dark blue sweater, with his eyes closed, the pure white snow was his background.If he didn't have a spider-like brain wave reader on his head, Shi Ran would think this picture is beautiful, and would be willing to take out his mobile phone to take a picture.But now he just walked over with a blank face, expertly fished out the silver cable, and cut off the switch.

Pei Haojie woke up slowly, looking at him with dark eyes, there was still a tenderness in it that hadn't been put away yet.

Shi Ran was moved by such a pair of eyes, and stood there staring at him blankly, until Pei Haojie rubbed his temples and looked out the window blankly.

"It's snowing." He murmured belatedly.

The heavy snow, which was one month late, fell endlessly, as if to exhaust all the accumulated amount, from seven o'clock to the next morning.

Shi Ran had a dream on this snowy night. In the dream, there were many messy images, which he assembled into small pieces of memory like a puzzle.

There is a section in which the two had just known each other for half a year, Shi Ran suddenly suffered from intestinal spasms in the middle of the night, and the finger that wanted to call her friend was wrongly placed on Pei Haojie's number.

21-year-old Pei Haojie found him through heavy snow at two o'clock in the morning, and carried him to the nearest medical station.The sky was leaden gray and was about to be smashed down at any moment. Pei Haojie's black down jacket was full of dust and the smell of white snow, which made people feel at ease.Shi Ran was so dizzy that he was dying of pain, he only remembered seeing a pair of eyes that were about to cry.

At what point did I fall in love with Pei Haojie?Shi Ran couldn't tell.

Pei Haojie is easily emotional, he has a bad temper, but he will always protect him and take care of him... Like a bird building a nest with a wooden branch in its mouth in spring, it builds memories belonging to the two of them day after day, about trust, dependence, Love, or more things that should not be described in words.

The medical station is small, without heating, and the air conditioner is in disrepair and can only blow out cool air.The air was very cold, and the snow outside the window was blindingly bright. Shi Ran was lying on the bedside on an IV drip, clutching his stomach and moaning in a low voice.Then, they found a collection of poems that someone forgot to take from under the pillow.In what age, everyone has a simulated reader, technology covers the entire city, romance is diluted by barrenness, but they touch a book.

Pei Haojie rubbed Shi Ran's stomach through the heating blanket under the bed.He started reading that book to distract Shi Ran.

His voice is very young, but he is very charming when he reads poetry.Deep, sexy, sensational, every word seems to be soaked in honey.

Now I'm standing under the apple tree

young and elegant

The hut beside me is lively and light

i am happy

Green grass

……

the sun is born day after day

i'm wild

My wish goes through the dry grass as high as the roof

Carefree under the blue sky*

Shi Ran once thought he was saved by such a voice.

The author has something to say: *Note: "Fern Mountain" Dylan Thomas