under fern mountain

Still in the same scene, Pei Haojie was still sitting opposite him, showing an expression that she had never seen before in front of him.

"sorry."

"For what?" Shi Ran heard herself asking.

"Sometimes I wonder if you care about me, or if you're just used to having a stable partner. I know, I shouldn't have such doubts." Pei Haojie bowed her head deeply.

"Look at me." Shi Ran said softly.

Pei Haojie on the opposite side slowly raised her head and saw Shi Ran looking at him with a little doting and amused: "You are my only love, understand? I can do anything for you."

Pei Haojie didn't speak, but her eyes slowly turned red.Shi Ran felt a surge of emotions at a loss, he really wanted to get up and hug him, but in the end his body just stretched out his hand and held Pei Haojie's.

"Don't doubt me. If you have something on your mind, you can tell me. You can trust me. It's okay if you don't want to say it. Take your time. It's okay."

"Really?" Pei Haojie smiled and readjusted her emotions, "Recently you are always very anxious, as if you want me to say everything in your heart... You are very angry at my concealment, I don't know what's wrong , the more this is the case, the deeper some things in my heart will be buried, as if I am afraid that one more sentence will cause misunderstanding."

The scene switched again, it was still the same room, with different sunlight, time, and layout. Pei Haojie was standing by the window smoking a cigarette, his clothes were different, and his hair was a little longer.

Shi Ran guessed that it should be some time since the last conversation happened.

"Of course, we quarreled again today. You hate me for playing games and some of my changes... I should be as considerate and careful as before, and hide all my thoughts..." The sunlight leaked in from the window, the light blue The smoke slowly rose from Pei Haojie's fingertips, and then scattered leisurely. He just looked out of the window, "People are really contradictory. They want to be honest with each other, but they can't tolerate absolute honesty. Just like me and you, With your hints and encouragement again and again, I began to selectively say some truthful words, and began not to suppress every emotion of mine, but it didn't seem to work... We quarreled even more fiercely."

"Me?" Shi Ran felt a bit confused, and he walked off the bed barefoot, "When you are angry, I always want to coax you."

"If it's 'you', maybe it will." After hearing this, Pei Haojie finally turned her head, looked at him tenderly, and then her expression gradually deepened, "Maybe we are all too sensitive now, so that when there is any conflict, we always Instinctively choose self-protection first. Did you know that there is a cortex in the human brain that keeps us alert to danger and threats. When we feel that we will be hurt, it will trigger our animal aggression to protect ourselves. This is completely It's subconscious behavior. So uncontrolled hurtful words, or aggressive behavior."

"Maybe, but that should never happen between us." Shi Ran walked to the window, avoided Pei Haojie's cigarette and took a puff.

Pei Haojie was stunned for a moment, then smiled: "You're right, at least here, nothing will happen. You and I can be honest with each other and trust each other. You don't have to be afraid of being attacked, so you don't have to build a high wall."

It's an amazing feeling.

Shi Ran felt very emotionally that he was in his own body at this time, but to be precise, this was not him.The movements and love of this body are so natural, generous, and undisguised, it is never deliberately expressed in the best state of emotion.With complicated moods and completely different emotions, he repeated and described the scene reproduced by the Messiah.

Rigid and sarcastic.

The scene changed again, there was the faint sound of firecrackers outside the window, and the night was getting dark.

There was almost no need for confirmation, and an intuitive conjecture popped up in his mind-he came to the night of the New Year's Eve again.

Shi Ran vaguely realized that on the night of New Year's Eve, Pei Haojie must have met "herself" in the game, and made a turning point...although they messed it up in the end.

Sure enough, in the dim light, Shi Ran saw Pei Haojie leaning against the door frame.He folded his hands and silently looked at himself lying on the bed.

"I don't think it should sink anymore." Shi Ran heard him say this.

"Sinking?" He rubbed his eyes and got up from the bed.

"I want to give myself another chance."

"What are you talking about? About what?" Shi Ran looked at Pei Haojie strangely.

This time Pei Haojie was uncharacteristically, she didn't explain to him, she didn't confide in her heart, she just looked at him silently for a long time: "You... have a good rest, I have something else to do, I'm leaving first."

Then came the last day, Shi Ran felt his consciousness was drowsy until he was awakened by Pei Haojie in the game.

"I gotta go!"

"Go? Where are you going?"

"It doesn't matter, I'm here to say goodbye." This will be the last time I see you. "

As Pei Haojie finished speaking for the last time, the scene in front of him was drawn away, and he was brought back to the sunset of the red river again.Shi Ran jumped up as if suddenly awakened from a dream, gasping for breath, he suddenly realized some kind of truth that he had faintly missed.

"The last two scenes... What's the meaning of the last two dialogues?" He didn't care too much, and grabbed the arm of the young man sitting on the bench, eager to get the answer.

"I thought I understood it very well." The young man raised his eyes calmly, with insight, "Shi Ran, do you really don't want to understand, or are you confirming with me?"

Pei Haojie's words are straightforward and the meaning is obvious. Even if she was deceived before, she should understand now.Shi Ran let go of the young man's arm, and took two steps back unsteadily.

Pei Haojie's last words were words of farewell, a decision made after careful consideration.

In the early morning when they quarreled fiercely, Pei Haojie came to say goodbye to Messiah.

He had clearly made a decision, but Shi Ran witnessed his mistakes.Then it became the straw that broke the camel's back.

"My main body's server was updated not long ago, and there was a... small problem, I was out of game consciousness, so I visited the record before it was rewritten as 'Shi Ran', and even manipulated to open the permission for you The ability." The young man explained as if he understood Shi Ran's thoughts, and he shrugged when he said this, "I guess the game developer must be in a hurry? I don't have much time. I will update it tonight and forget everything again. Becoming 'you' and being stronger...so it is a lucky choice for you to find me in time, but I have time to give you limited information."

"Why are you telling me this?"

The young man smiled, his side face reflected the crimson sunset on the river: ""Messiah" has no grand setting, it is actually a Loop, a cycle...the first world, the second division world... countless The world is completely built for the subconscious mind of the player, and every world must have an ultimate goal, and we will never stop until we reach it.”

"As long as I'm 'you' for a day, the world will never be conquered by him."

"Unless you defeat everything outside the game, or unless he stays in the game forever and forgets you."

"Shi Ran, you have to find him."

The blood-red vision gradually faded, fading into a dark space, and for a while, Shi Ran could only hear his heavy breathing and the cold air.This was his first full immersion experience, and it took him at least 2 minutes to slowly regain all his senses.In the room where the lights were not turned on, he first saw the outlines of the desk and cabinet, and the group photo on the wall, and felt some cold wind flowing on his skin, with a smell of dust before it rained.

Looking out from the window, row upon row of CBD buildings are wrapped in all kinds of phantom light. Two blocks away is a more splendid nightlife created by hologram and LED. To the sense of panic caused by exceeding the authority.

All emotions were emptied, leaving only one strong thought... He must find Pei Haojie, right now.

He looked at the wall clock on the wall, it was ten o'clock in the evening, and it was still too late.

Shi Ran drove around aimlessly around the CBD circle. This was already his third circle around the Second Ring Road.He couldn't find Pei Haoran.

A few days ago, Shi Ran had seen Pei Haojie's location record on the day he found out that he had moved out - until three days ago, they still kept sharing location.

He vaguely remembered that Pei Haojie's location had appeared in the eastern district of the CBD and near the second ring road, but he couldn't find the exact location based on memory alone.While driving, he scanned the silent GPS plane of his mobile phone, expecting the blinking blue cursor to reappear.

His mind was in a mess, and his emotions flooded in again... Pei Haojie had never left him for such a long time before, nor had he canceled the sharing position between the two of them.

Is he really determined to break up?Do you really have no hesitation?

Shi Ran opened the car window to the maximum, and the howling wind on the highway hit his face like a torrential rain, making him breathless.

The phone has long been disconnected, and I don’t know how many WeChat and text messages have been sent, but there is no response. He even checked the consumption records of the secondary card of the bank card, but unfortunately found nothing.Shi Ran picked up the most primitive and stupid method, relying on the impression of Pei Haojie's last haunt, to check the nearby hotels one by one.Those with poor conditions can be directly filtered, and hotels with their own Internet cafes or nearby Internet cafes are given priority.He visited the front desk of many hotels, and the answers he got were either no one was found or he was unwilling to disclose customer information.

After finding someone until one o'clock in the morning, he returned home again.nothing.

However, when he entered the room, he was stunned for a moment.

The order of the slippers at the door has changed, there is an empty can of beer on the window sill, two cigarette butts in the ashtray, and the floor lamp in the game room is dimly turned on... Shi Ran could hardly restrain his heart beating wildly. Pressing his footsteps, the closer he got to the game room, the more he couldn't hold back, and he almost started to trot.

"Hao'er..." Shi Ran pushed open the door of the game room, the smile froze on his face before he could restrain himself.

The game room is empty, and the computer host screen is turned on, showing that someone has logged in.The brain wave spectrum reader on the desktop was gone, Shi Ran checked the CD drive, and "Messiah" was no longer there.Shi Ran sat at the computer desk in disbelief, typing on the keyboard quickly, as if any information about Pei Haojie could pop up on the virtual desktop.

But no, nothing.It was all wrong again, again.

Pei Haojie came back before, just now.He took the "Messiah" without leaving a word.