under fern mountain

Pei Haojie had disappeared for three full days.I can't get through the phone, I can't reply to WeChat and text messages, and location sharing has been turned off.Shi Ran searched his Weibo and live broadcast platforms, but couldn't find any more effective information.He even carefully read every comment on his Weibo recently, and fans who didn't know why called him to come back to the live broadcast, but unfortunately found nothing.Shi Ran contacted Pei Haojie, one of the few friends who would drink water and drink with him, but he couldn't find him.The body is just searching wearily, almost paranoid, and as more and more misses, another panic gradually replaces all emotions.

Shi Ran stopped all the work at hand, and Tietou and Li Qing'er immediately noticed that something was wrong with him, but no matter how much they asked, they couldn't find out the whole story.He maintained such a dazed state, and within a few days, he visibly haggarded down to the naked eye, until he finally received Pei Haojie's WeChat message.

In the early morning, the bedroom was dark, the lights were not turned on, and the heavy curtains were drawn so that no light could penetrate.He was holding the phone in his hand, and the faint light and vibration immediately woke him up.

Pei Haojie: Sorry, I didn't see the news before.

After seeing the text on the screen clearly, the only drowsiness was completely dissipated, and Shi Ran sat up suddenly.My fingers couldn't be controlled, and I was covered with sticky sweat while sleeping, and I had to swipe the screen several times to open the dialog box.

Shi Ran: Where are you?

Pei Haojie: What's wrong?

Shi Ran: I want to see you!

The 'typing' at the top of the dialog box went on and off several times.Shi Ran stared at those four words persistently, and his nervousness reached its peak.

Pei Haojie: It's too late today, what can we talk about tomorrow?

Shi Ran: It's not too late, it's not too late at all, where are you?I will look for you?

Pei Haojie: Is it something important?

It doesn't matter any more, Shi Ran thought.

He had too many things he wanted to say to Pei Haojie, but he couldn't find an opportunity to say it. He tapped on the screen several times with his fingers, and then deleted them all.He didn't dare to express or leak easily, he was afraid that he would appear too paranoid and scare Pei Haojie away.He found that he couldn't figure out Pei Haojie's thoughts at all.

Shi Ran: Is it inconvenient now?

The other party didn't reply immediately, but Shi Ran sent another message: Did you come back a few days ago?why did not you tell me?

This time it's a long 'typing' again.

Shi Ran waited patiently until Pei Haojie sent a hotel address and room number.

He jumped up from the bed almost as soon as he received the message, grabbed his coat and ran to the entrance in a panic.His nose was sore, and he couldn't help the urge to cry. He even fell at the door and walked out almost in embarrassment.

Pei Haojie's hotel was indeed in the area that Shi Ran was looking for before, the location was very inconspicuous, the green hotel signboard was shining, and it was submerged in many high-rise buildings.Shi Ran was not in a hurry to go up, he sat on the flower bed downstairs, smoked a cigarette very slowly, rehearsed many ways to speak in his mind, and when he reacted, he unknowingly stood at the door of the room.

The door opened, and the hot air in the room rushed in, melting Shi Ran's cold air.Pei Haojie appeared in front of him in a gray single shirt.The two faced each other silently, and after a while, Pei Haojie stepped aside and said, "Come in."

Shi Ran's eyes never moved away from him, he looked at every detail of his body, as if they had been separated for a long time.He saw that the back of Pei Haojie's neck was slightly red, and a section of white gauze protruded from the neckline, sticking to his hair roots, which looked like some kind of funny decoration from a distance.Maybe Pei Haojie himself didn't realize this small but conspicuous detail, he turned around and sat on the sofa beside the bed, brushing away the dirty clothes on the carpet with his feet.

The room is messy, takeaway boxes and beer cans can be seen everywhere, a laptop computer is thrown on the quilt, game discs are scattered on the opposite table, and there are three cigarette butts in the ashtray of the bedside table, which have obviously been poured once and are dusty.The window was opened a crack, and there was only a bottomless coffee cup on the marble table.

Shi Ran glanced across the room, and every corner showed him Pei Haojie's life trajectory these days.He suddenly realized that the vigor and vitality of Pei Haojie had disappeared in this space, and he calmly resisted the intrusion of all external forces, including Shi Ran.

He's thinner, his hair is shorter, and he looks tired but not tired.

"What happened to you in the past few days? You haven't responded to your calls or WeChat messages. I'm worried..." Shi Ran felt close to collapse when he opened his mouth. He said softly, "Don't just disappear like this."

"sorry."

"I'm not blaming you...Where did you go the past few days when you disappeared? Tell me, okay?"

Pei Haojie's body stood in front of him like a wall, which could not be crossed.

"I just have some things to deal with these days, not on purpose. Is it important to be in such a hurry tonight?"

As soon as Pei Haojie spoke, Shi Ran could feel the subtle difference from before.Regarding his own affairs, he has passed them in a vague way.He does not overstep, does not offend, and does not enter Shi Ran's emotions, and he excludes all emotions from the body.

Shi Ran's eyes dimmed, and he reached for the small piece of white gauze on the back of his neck: "What is this? Are you injured?"

His movements were completely subconscious, but Pei Haojie grabbed his wrist stiffly.The two stalemate like this for a while, Pei Haojie moved his lips, finally there was content in his eyes, Shi Ran could see that he had something to say, so he just waited quietly, but in the end Pei Haojie let go of his hand.

"It's just a small injury."

He didn't leave any words for him, and passively waited for Shi Ran's next words.

Shi Ran took a deep breath, and sat down on the edge of the bed opposite Pei Haojie: "It's nothing important, I just want to talk to you."

"Talk about what?"

Shi Ran looked at Pei Haojie who was sitting opposite. A week ago, the two were close lovers, but now he is invulnerable and invulnerable like wearing armor.

Seemingly seeing Shi Ran's restlessness, Pei Haojie stood up and said to make a cup of coffee for the two of them.Shi Ran watched in silence as he took out two new cups from the cabinet, and then rummaged through the cabinet to find two instant coffees.The sound of the kettle boiling covered Shi Ran's approaching footsteps.With his back turned to him, Pei Haojie was pouring two pairs of instant coffee powder into the cup, completely unaware that Shi Ran was standing silently behind him, staring at the piece of gauze around his neck - near the back of the head, a little Redness that looks like a severe wound.

Why would it hurt in this place?

Pei Haojie was lowering her head, pouring boiling water into the quilt, and the powdered coffee immediately dissolved.He clinked his spoon and stirred, looking intent on.

Shi Ran's voice was a little hoarse: "You came back that night, but you didn't tell me..."

He still has many questions, such as when he came back that day, did he want to find himself?

Do you have something to say?

Is it... I missed something again?

If Pei Haojie came back only to take away the Messiah, there was absolutely no need for him to smoke on the balcony, as if he was waiting for something.But unfortunately, he was looking for him around the city that night, and he couldn't make it home in time.

The sound of stirring coffee paused for a moment: "It's nothing, just go back and get some changes of clothes and some daily necessities."

"Come back to live, okay? Even... you want to be separated for a while, you don't need to move out!" Shi Ran grabbed his cuff, almost pleading.

"But I don't want to do that anymore." Pei Haojie turned her back to him, and suddenly said something else, "You know I do game reviews, which are very different from playing games. To play games, you just need to be curious, exciting, excited The sense of experience, but for the evaluation you need to devote yourself wholeheartedly, clearing the level over and over again to dig out every detail that may have been overlooked last time. Some games with high playability need to be cleared many times to reach the real ending, which is essentially a one-time Another cycle."

cycle.Shi Ran thought emptily.

He remembered what 'himself' said in "Messiah".It's a loop in itself, it's Loop... an indescribable feeling that grabs his breath and makes him gasp.

"I'm not sure." Shi Ran felt at a loss, "You're actually talking about us, aren't you?"

"I've never regarded you and me as a game, never." Pei Haojie finally turned around and looked at him helplessly, "I'm no longer serious about you, you know that. But if every cycle is nothing A meaningless endless loop, I was thinking, where is the meaning? It’s not like you and I haven’t looked for a gentle breakthrough, it doesn’t work, does it?”

Shi Ran put down his hand, he didn't speak for a long time, until Pei Haojie handed over the brewed coffee, he didn't take it either.

"I'll go first." Shi Ran hurriedly picked up the coat that was draped on the sofa, "You're right... I, I'm a little confused, today is not a good time to talk."

Pei Haojie put the coffee on the table, looked at him, and didn't answer or refute.

"I will come to see you again." Shi Ran left a sentence before leaving, and fled in despair.

The sky was gray and blue, and it was raining. Before six o'clock in the morning, Tietou received a call from Shi Ran.He has always had the habit of getting up early, and within 2 minutes of answering the call, he was completely awake.

Having been a brother with Shi Ran for so long, he still understands Shi Ran.If it wasn't for something, he wouldn't have called him out at this point.The shop was not open at all, and the two made an appointment to meet at Cicada House.The ground and branches are wet, the roads and sidewalks are empty, only the never-extinguishing billboards make the city look lively.

It was quiet in the flower room.This room is used for flower art classes every afternoon at [-] o'clock and [-] o'clock in the evening. The room is bright, with flowers and plants placed on the window sill to ensure that it can absorb enough sunlight, and there are many dried flowers hanging upside down on the other wall.Shi Ran was sitting under the dried flowers, hugging his knees on the tatami and looking at the gray green belt opposite the window.

"So, Xiao Pei moved out?" Tietou frowned, and carefully chose his words, "To solve your deadlock, you need to find the key sticking point. Tell me the truth, when you first started Cicada House Was he unhappy at that time? If the two of you had conflicts because of this, the loss would not be worth the loss! But at that time, I didn't look like he didn't support it?"

"It's nothing to do with this. There are too many things, and when they accumulate together, they explode. There is no end to the rope in the mess. He said this is an endless loop, and I know exactly what he means. We always quarrel and communicate. , and reconcile tacitly... We are always looking back at the pure and strong emotional state, but that is also a very unstable and dangerous state..."

"I really understand this too!" Tietou patted his leg, "But I think you still have to talk! The more you talk about sad things, the more you need to talk about it. Don't be afraid to expose the scars. If you don't expose the scars, there will be no way to heal. No matter how hard it is, you have to do it.”

Shi Ran smiled wryly: "Last time I was almost forced to go to the hotel, but he was too... impeccable. You didn't see what he was like at the time, you didn't understand. He disappeared for so many days without a single explanation, I asked him where he went, and he only said something. You know, I saw a wound on the back of his neck, and it was here—” Shi Ran patted the back of his neck, “He didn’t Ken let me touch it, just a little injury. We have bumped into each other for so many years, but he has never been so resistant to my approach. All his body language is saying, we have broken up."

Tietou pursed his lips, frowned and listened to Shi Ran, and subconsciously touched the same spot on the back of his neck, as if he was thinking about something.

"Wait." Tie Tou took out his phone and quickly opened Moments of Moments and asked, "You said before that he went back one night, right? He took all the games away?"

"No, I only took away the one I played most often." Shi Ran's words were vague.He instinctively wanted to erase the part about the Messiah.

"You said he was playing an intensification game, so that's what I thought of." Tietou finally found it, and showed Shi Ran a picture posted by a friend in Moments, "Is it like this?"

The same location, the same gauze, and even the same red surrounding skin, although slightly different, were indeed very similar to Pei Haojie's wound location and bandaging method that night.

"What does it mean?"

"Have you ever heard of the 'original disk' operation?" Tie Tou's expression suddenly became ugly.