sound of silence

The stabbing pain woke Pan Qiqin up... He turned sideways, unable to see Shen Jingyu beside him, and after a few seconds of sluggishness, the pain reminded him of his crazy decision last night.For some reason, he felt a little scared.

The heart was beating at a stalled speed, and every picture of AIDS patients and illnesses that I had seen on the Internet suddenly flashed in my mind.

The body, which was weakened due to the loss of immune function, was like a fortress without guards, and the ulcers that were attacked by all kinds of germs seemed to surrender with both hands.Yes, rot, or rather rot...really rot.Not spiritual.

Pan Qiqin didn't dare to think about it anymore, he knew that he was not a god, if he continued to think like this, he would definitely regret it.He hurriedly took a deep breath, reluctantly got up...

It was extremely uncomfortable.The feeling of fullness still filled the back of the body, and I always felt that the body was attacked by some foreign body, and it still remained in the body.Mo Ming, there is a dirty feeling.

Fortunately, thinking of Shen Jingyu's "clean" face in time, the feeling of disgust subsided.However, suddenly, he seemed to understand the reason why Shen Jingyu would lead his life to corruption.

He shook his head, trying to get rid of all the messy thoughts, and then said: "Senior!"

No one responded to him.

Pan Qiqin took a deep breath, slowly put on his clothes, and walked out of the room slowly...

"Senior..." He looked around, but there was still no one there. Looking at the clock on the wall, it was past ten o'clock in the morning... Just as he was wondering where Shen Jingyu had gone, he heard the sound of thin water droplets.

It was in the bathroom...

It's amazing, as soon as she realizes Shen Jingyu's existence, the regret in her heart disappears without a trace.Pan Qiqin smiled for no reason, he liked such a "natural reaction" very much.

"Senior..." he called out in front of the bathroom door, while trying to loosen his muscles.

There was a gurgling sound, but there was no answer.Pan Qiqin's bones were almost moving, and he began to feel uneasy—

Really bad!Shen Jingyu's introverted habits and patterns really penetrated into his mind...

Pan Qiqin felt that he couldn't think of the best, his heart was beating inexplicably, and he couldn't help but slapped the door vigorously: "Jing Yu, what are you doing in there? Open the door..."

After taking pictures for a long time without responding, Pan Qiqin rushed back to the room, found the key handed over by the landlord at that time, and hurried back...

His hands also trembled.It took several times to align the keyhole.Pan Qiqin forced himself to open the door with a blank mind...

But I saw a body that was completely naked, huddled in the bathtub with its hands wrapped around its knees, with its face buried in the knees.Water was pouring from the shower head above his head...but he didn't respond.

"Jing Yu..." Pan Qiqin breathed a sigh of relief, approached him, turned off the faucet, and said in a hoarse voice, "What's wrong with you..." He tried to squat down, but suddenly felt a sharp pain in his rear hip, Frowning, he still deliberately shook him.

"Shizuyu... what are you doing... look at me..."

Shen Jingyu didn't look up, but shook her head.

"Look at me!" Pan Qiqin forced his head up a little annoyed.He saw that his eyes were red and swollen, his nose was also red and confused, and the water on his face was running wildly, and he couldn't tell whether it was water or tears.

"Come out first..." Pan Qiqin turned around and took a long bath towel, wrapped him around him, and pulled him out of the bathroom abruptly.

"I...crazy..." Shen Jingyu walked two steps and didn't want to go, crying in a trance.

"what are you talking about!"

"I'm... crazy... I'm... really... with you... I'm... so scary..."

Pan Qiqin's heart sank, and he slowly hugged him, only to feel that his body was shaking violently.But he couldn't say a word of comfort.

He understood that he didn't regret it, but he suddenly realized that the seemingly violent devotion to him last night did not give him a greater sense of security, on the contrary, it hurt him instead.Because the heavy sense of guilt seems to have begun to erode his nerves...

"Shizuha...we're going to the laboratory today...let's go together..."

Shen Jingyu hugged Pan Qiqin with her backhand...Holding tightly, trembling in his ear: "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

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Shen Jingyu didn't sleep all night, and now she is curled up, lying on the bed, Pan Qiqin is stroking his head... her heart is cloudy and cold...

Even though they are already together, why do they still feel so obscure? ─

Is it self-defeating? --maybe!In the past few months, things have happened too fast, and life has been messed up for some reason. I moved out of the house and thought it was a new life, but I wasted too much energy for no reason.And want to give him something more, well, the most precious thing is life, but it seems to be wrong.

Life is too precious, so precious that he can't afford it.

Ding dong! --The doorbell rings. --It's Liu Bangqi.Yesterday, I originally stayed here waiting for him to pick up Shen Jingyu, but I felt that they should be alone for a while...

"Is he... okay?" Liu Bangqi looked past Pan Qiqin and looked into the room.

Pan Qiqin lowered his head and poured him a glass of beer, took a sip himself, and said casually, "Do you want to go and see him?"

"What's wrong?" Liu Bangqi smelled something strange.

Only now did Pan Qiqin raise his eyes to face him, and the two stared at each other for a while before hearing him say calmly: "It's nothing, I know you want to see him."

The many words made Liu Bangqi's heart skip a beat, and he couldn't explain it.

In fact, he really wanted to take a look.I don't know why, but I am worried.Therefore, without denying it at all, he stood up and walked into the room.

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On the way to the room, Liu Bangqi's thoughts were racing.

Recently, watching Pan Qiqin's emotional change, I also inspected my heart inadvertently. The strange thing is that when I touch the positioning of Jingyu, there will always be a sudden indescribable anxiety, and finally stop drilling spontaneously. .

That's all.Some things, no matter how much you think about it, there is no benefit!Liu Bangqi let out a long breath, sat on the side of the bed, and carefully looked at Shen Jingyu who was sleeping on his side. He saw a big hollow in his cheeks, red eyelids, and red bridge of the nose. He was restless. breath.

"He... how did he become like this..." As soon as the words came out, Liu Bangqi felt that his question was a bit over the top, coughed dryly, and took it over. The cold truth made him stand up instantly.

"Achin..."

"Um?"

Liu Bangqi turned around in a hurry, and said with a pale face, "You...yesterday...yesterday..." Looking at his bewildered expression, he finally couldn't help but widen his eyes and said, "Did you go to bed?"

Pan Qiqin's face turned pale, he swallowed, then turned his face to the side and did not speak.

But Liu Bangqi could no longer pretend to be okay, he pounced, grabbed Pan Qiqin by the collar, and said excitedly, "You...you...you don't want to live!!"

Pan Qiqin let him hold on, weakly said: "I don't know..."

"I don't know?!" Liu Bangqi screamed out of control immediately: "...Jing Yu's head is not clear, why are you also going crazy?"

"I... didn't think that much..." Pan Qiqin begged, "It's none of Jing Yu's business... I forced it!"

"You force it?" Liu Bangqi said incredulously, "You... you didn't force him to die purely!"

Pan Qiqin had already realized that his choice was wrong, but he still felt aggrieved by Liu Bangqi's defensive accusation.After all, this time, he had almost lost his life, but he didn't expect that he still only cared about Shen Jingyu's mood, so suddenly, he couldn't help feeling mixed feelings.

Looking at his empty eyes, Liu Bangqi felt enlightened, but he knew Shen Jingyu too well and knew that he would regret his actions, so he still couldn't help complaining about Pan Qiqin's madness.He had no choice but to let go of Pan Qiqin angrily, and said coldly: "Go and check it! The sooner the better! If you delay for a day, Jing Yu will be tortured for a day. If he continues, he will lose half of his life without any illness!"

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

It was the first time that Pan Qiqin asked someone to tie his tie, and it was a man.

Just looking at the other party's concentrated appearance, there is a touch of greed in my heart... the desire to stay together forever...

It was a desire he had never had before, which made Pan Qiqin feel even more uneasy, and couldn't help reaching out to touch his cheek...

"Okay... look! Look... look..." Shen Jingyu didn't understand his thoughts, and turned him to the mirror with a smile on his face.

Pan Qiqin took another tie, then circled Shen Jingyu, and helped him tie it at first: "I don't know how to tie it for others...If the direction is not good...I will only do this..."

Shen Jingyu looked at him in the mirror, smiled, and lifted his neck cooperatively, so that he could tie it better...

"I said senior... how can you help someone use that direction?" Pan Qiqin asked knowingly while holding his hand.

"…Well…"

"In the future, I don't want to tie a knot like this..." Pan Qiqin said to himself, "I want to look like this...hey...the one with deeper dimples...you know? I don't want to be like others!" As he said, he pulled Shen Jingyu's bow tie hard I squeezed a depression on both sides, and then adjusted my own.

"Hey, do you know?"

"Know... know..." Shen Jingyu blushed, glared at him, and then smiled as he looked at each other.

After everything was in order, Pan Qiqin just put his arms around him, leaned his face on his shoulder, and stood in front of the mirror...

In fact, such a picture is very harmonious, so harmonious that the two of them suddenly feel a little flustered.

Can't be too happy.Really can't, they are all afraid in their hearts, if God judges them a felony later, how embarrassing they will be!

"Let's go!" Pan Qiqin turned him over suddenly, kissed his forehead lightly, hugged him tightly, and then took his hand and walked out of the room...

In the living room, Liu Bangqi was seen waiting.

"Are you ready?" He raised his head with a serious expression.

"Well, let's go!"

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Liu Bangqi was driving the car, while Pan Qiqin and Shen Jingyu sat in the back seat.

While driving, the three of them did not speak.After a while, Pan Qiqin suddenly moved his face close to Shen Jingyu's cheek, and rubbed against Shen Jingyu's cheek like a kiss. Shen Jingyu didn't expect him to become so bold suddenly. On the one hand, he realized that Liu Bangqi was in front of him, so he couldn't help flashing in embarrassment. Opened it, and said softly: "Qin...don't...do this..."

But Pan Qiqin ignored his dodge, just rubbing and kissing, kissing and kissing, straight into his hair, ears... and his arms around his waist without any rules...

Through the rearview mirror, Liu Bangqi really wanted to stop his rambunctious behavior, but he knew that he had nothing to say, so he had to force himself to look straight ahead and drive seriously.

It was the first time for Shen Jingyu to feel Pan Qiqin's inexplicable teasing, but he didn't want to refuse too much at all, so he just pushed him away almost for fun, and at the same time said softly: "Qin...don't make trouble..."

However, Shen Jingyu's evasive whispers and babbles were like an aphrodisiac for lust, which made Pan Qiqin play with him more recklessly.

Rubbing and rubbing, Pan Qiqin suddenly hugged him sideways, and at the same time let their cheeks touch each other—

"Senior...I'm so...scared..." Pan Qiqin suddenly whispered a word in his ear.

For some reason, Shen Jingyu felt a chill in his heart, and had an ominous premonition, he was dazed for a while, and hugged him in response.

Tight, tight.It was so tight that he felt that Pan Qiqin hid in his neck and trembled...

"Qin... yes... I am..."

Maybe it's the sun!Shen Jingyu's mind was clear and clear.There is no guilt or sense of guilt, only hope, the hope of God.

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"Pan Qiqin..." A nurse with a modest smile on her face handed a sealed paper to Pan Qiqin who walked towards her, and at the same time took out a small piece of paper and said: "There is a consultation room attached to this hospital, as long as you need it If you have any questions about STD prevention, we welcome you to call or visit the hospital for inquiries!”

Pan Qiqin took the documents, walked out of the inspection report room, and walked slowly towards the hospital entrance...

Then he saw Shen Jingyu staring at him blankly, holding a sealing paper in his hand but did not remove it.

"I... see..." Shen Jingyu reached out and asked him for the inspection report.

Pan Qiqin handed it to him without thinking.But he also took his over.

Shen Jingyu didn't seem to care about her report, she just hurriedly folded Pan Qiqin's, and after taking a deep breath, she finally opened it...

It was such a vivid expression, I saw him swallowing his saliva forcefully, his whole face turned red instantly, then opened his mouth wide, hugged Pan Qiqin tightly, and said excitedly: "It's okay...you...it's okay...it's okay..." As he spoke, he couldn't help crying.

At that moment, Pan Qiqin didn't care about the strange eyes cast by the passers-by, and hugged him instead, only to feel that the old bucket hanging in his heart was hanging down, and his whole body was extremely exhausted, and he couldn't speak at all.

Liu Bangqi on the side closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, but his eyes immediately stared at the inspection sheet in Pan Qiqin's hand.

Pan Qiqin faced Shen Jingyu with his eyes facing each other, and there was an atmosphere of silence between the two of them...

Suddenly, Pan Qiqin handed Shen Jingyu's inspection report to him...

You see!

Let you see it!

His eyes said so to himself.Liu Bangqi looked at him, knowing in his heart that his silence meant a kind of declaration and conclusion—

Let you participate in an important moment in Jingyu's life.But, you know, that's all.Come on, don't get involved anymore.

Liu Bangqi took a deep breath, and took it as if signing a cut book.

Pan Qiqin smiled in satisfaction, and hugged Shen Jingyu as much as he could...

.........

How good it would be if it ended like this... If there are no accidents, it would be great... If... Many ifs...

Some people say, lovers, like to use if... yes, because the world is too impermanent, always use if to soothe the soul... just like the assumption of economics that everything remains the same...

However, after all, things don't always work if...

Pan Qiqin rubbed his cheek against Shen Jingyu, smiled... But he couldn't understand the meaning of Liu Bangqi's pale face when he opened the inspection report.I just felt that my heart suddenly froze, so fast, so cold—even the smiles on my cheeks were inexplicably frozen in the air.

─Silence, a voice destined to be silent─

at the moment when the two embrace

There is no promise that the sky will be wasteland and the land will be old

Do you want to let go, should you own it

I want to cry, it's not the time yet

Is it because of your tears that you no longer stay for me

I want to fly, I can't fly to the end

Is it because your heart no longer guards for me

If we have never met here in this life

Wouldn't it be wrong to play the song "Love You"

Love someone, maybe you can be free

There is no wine that hurts; there is no shame of dignity

no walking dead; no love

Are there many such people, is this kind of love enough?

This scene, played to the end

In the end there will only be one result

Sigh and ask heaven, do you know?

Finish