Eccentricity

Chen Qiran was as stiff as a stone statue, with a weird smile on her face that was crushed by Gu Qiong's words before it receded. On her neck, she didn't dare to use any force at this moment, her heart seemed to have stopped beating, and the blood flow all over her body had also stopped flowing, her body was both icy and cold, and Gu Qiong in front of her was so hot, but she couldn't give her even the slightest bit of comfort. warmth.

"You...you said...what did you say?" Chen Ziran retreated out of Gu Qiong's arms in a daze, his body was shaking like a dead leaf in the residual wind, his shoulders trembled, and he stepped back a few steps chaotically, bumping into the person behind him. The coffee table barely stabilized her figure, her face was so pale that she didn't look like a living person, her lips were blue, and she couldn't speak a complete sentence.

What did Gu Qiong just say?Did I hear parting?Gu Qiong... Does Gu Qiong not want me anymore?

Chen Ziran clutched her chest hard, she could hardly breathe, she murmured in a self-comforting manner, no, no, no, Gu Qiong would not do this, she is not this kind of person!She said she liked me, she said it herself!How could she not want me?

she……

She said to my ears and eyes that she likes me and she wants to treat me well.

I got it wrong, I must have got it wrong!

Chen Ziran's dull eyes suddenly lit up, looking at Gu Qiong darkly and brightly, hoping to get a negative from her mouth, and said with her usual three-point joke expression, little fool, I lied to you , Haha, have you been fooled again?

Gu Qiong always likes to call her a little fool, and also likes to make fun of her.

Yes, this must be another prank of hers, it must be...

Gu Qiong didn't dare to look her straight in the eye, and stood where he was, with the backs of his hands clenched into fists behind his back, forced a calm demeanor, and repeated the words: "Chen Ziran, let's separate."

Gu Qiong was afraid that she would get the wrong meaning, so he specially explained: "I don't want to be with you anymore."

Chen Ziran's eyes went dark, as if struck by lightning.

Both her legs were trembling a little, and she couldn't support her body, so she had to support the white wall behind her with her palms to keep her whole body from falling. Look carefully at her fingertips, they are three points paler than the putty-scraped wall !

"Why..." Chen Yuran's heart was trembling, her breathing seemed to be choked by something, she was dizzy, her lips trembled, and she couldn't speak a complete sentence.

She pinched her palm hard, and the bare nails dug out the blood in the thick callused palm before she could squeeze out three words: "Why?"

Chen Qiran didn't understand, even if he was beaten to death, he couldn't understand, wasn't he always fine?Isn't the future always going in a bright direction?She and Gu Qiong even started talking about the future and their children, how could...why did this happen?

No, it must not have been voluntary by Gu Qiang!She must have some difficulties, she doesn't want to hurt me, so find a reason to get me away from her!

Chen Ziran seemed to have grasped the last straw, grabbed Gu Qiong's arm desperately, looked at her with pleading eyes and the last bit of hope, "Gu Qiong, have you encountered any difficulties? What do you think?" Listen to me! Can you tell me? I... I know I'm stupid and I don't have any skills, so I can't share anything for you, but... But at least I can listen to you, and it won't hurt to have someone by your side Do everything by yourself..."

Sure enough, he was a fool, until the moment of separation, Chen Ziran was still thinking about Gu Qiong's difficulties.

Gu Qiong listened to her pleading from the bottom of his heart, and his heart was shaken. He bit his teeth hard on his tongue, awakened his reason with the pain, closed his eyes fiercely, and said sharply: "Don't be sentimental! I don't care about any difficulties. No, I just don't like you!"

don't like you anymore.

I do not like you anymore……

Chen Ziran was dead on the spot.

She lost all consciousness in her whole body, she couldn't hear or see, the light in the living room was bright, but her eyes were completely dark, and the words that Gu Qiong said kept echoing in her mind.

I do not like you anymore.

"But..." Chen Yuran's eyes were in a daze, out of focus, and his face showed an extremely strange confusion and calmness. He looked at Gu Qiong with both eyes, but he didn't see Gu Qiong in his eyes. He stared at nowhere. It made Gu Qi feel scared.

Her voice was also unusually calm, very light, and even had an inexplicable happy smile, "But you clearly said that you like me, and you have to be nice to me..."

"I..." Gu Qiang panicked for no reason, and said indiscriminately, "I don't like you now, people change."

Chen Ziran is most afraid of hearing the words "I don't like you" from Gu Qiong's mouth. Every day she and Gu Qiong are together, she is happy and worried, and there is a hidden voice in the deepest part of her heart all the time. Don't remind her, what if Gu Qiong doesn't like you one day?Can you go back to being alone and helpless?Get used to the warmth of two people, how can you have the courage to face the coldness and darkness of one person?

Every time, every time this thought came to Chen Ziran's mind, she would be stamped out in panic, no, Gu Qiong will not dislike me!I... I treat her well, I give her everything I have, she will not dislike me.

Chen Ziran doesn't know that not everything in the world can be exchanged for heart and heart. Even if she presents everything about herself to Gu Qiong, it's not worth the price of someone else's mellow eyes.

People are going to change.

Chen Ziran thought foolishly, but can people's hearts change as they say?Why did Gu Qi's heart change so quickly?

Could it be... She clutched her heart and sobbed for a moment, could it be that I did something wrong that made Gu Qi unbearable?

It must be like this... Chen Ziran complained painfully to himself, it must be like this!She is too stupid, can't do anything well, can't be liked, even her mother doesn't like her, she was reprimanded from childhood to adulthood, just because of Chen Ziran's annoying personality that can't be changed no matter what , but Gu Qiong... Ever since she followed Gu Qiong, she has almost never scolded her!It must be that Chen Yuran himself enjoys too much happiness by Gu Qiong's side, and gets carried away with complacency, so all those bad habits that cannot be changed have reappeared!Gu Qiong was embarrassed and said in his heart that after a long time, he finally couldn't take it anymore and started to hate her too!

"Gu Qiong! Gu Qiong!" Chen Ziran rushed to Gu Qiong, hugged her and begged, "Did I make you unhappy and annoying? Can you tell me? I can change everything, really, I can do everything change!"

"If you can't change it, you can hit me and scold me! It's okay!"

Gu Qiong heard Chen Ziran's voice trembling, and felt Chen Ziran's voice trembling too. She closed her eyes, her heart was torn, she bit her lip, and dared not say a word to Chen Ziran.

I'm afraid that if I say a word, I will regret it.

"Please... please... tell me... I will change it..." Chen Yuran's heart sank little by little to her silent resistance. In the end, he was almost desperate, and his body gradually weakened. Go down, grab Gu Qiong's arm, and lean on her body, like a vine that has lost its support, it will soon fall down.

"Don't..." Chen Yuran's voice trembled like a homeless sparrow in the cold wind and rain, shivering, the light in his eyes slowly extinguished and out of focus, and his voice became weak whispering.

She said, "Don't you dislike me..."

From childhood to adulthood, no one has ever said that they like Chen Ziran.

Only Gu Qiong said it.

Chen Ziran's mind went blank, and he didn't realize that he was crying.

Tears flowed from her eyes without blinking, big teardrops rolled out of her eyes and down her cheeks, she murmured unconsciously, humbly looking at Gu Qiong and muttering a plea.

"Don't you dislike me..."

"What did I do wrong? I will change... I will change..."

"beg……"

"I beg you……"

Apart from kneeling on the ground and begging her mother to let her go to high school on the third day of the new year, Chen Ziran almost never said the sentence "I beg you".

She is dull, obedient, and introverted. She is a soft persimmon that everyone can pinch. She usually enjoys her blessings when she suffers, but she swallows her stomach when she is wronged, but she has a very strong self-esteem.

Begging, this word is easy to write, but it weighs a thousand pounds when you say it from your mouth. Once you say this word seriously, it means that you have smashed all your dignity and backbone and held it in front of that person, allowing others to trample on it. .

But Chen Qiran can't control much anymore, as long as Gu Qiong can continue to like himself, so what if he puts his dignity in front of her and tramples on her?Chen Ziran has tasted how good it is to be hurt by someone, and she never dares to be alone again. When she thinks that she will be alone again like before, she is afraid, even if she crawls humbly at Gu Qiong's feet, Chen Ziran Also willing, as long as Gu Qiong still wants her, don't dislike her.

Gu Qiong felt pain and irritability in her heart, and felt even more distressed for such a humble Chen Yuran. Her heart was in a mess like a hemp rope that could never be figured out. She hated herself, Chen Ziying, and the person in front of her with wide-open eyes and tears, but a Chen Ziran, who couldn't cry, vented all his irritability at Chen Ziran, his tone was irritable and impatient, and he frowned and said, "Chen Ziran, can you be a little ambitious?"

After she said this, she regretted it, and looked at Chen Ziran in a panic, and she saw that Chen Ziran's face had lost all blood, trembling, and could not utter a single syllable.

Chen Ziran's heart seemed to be smashed into a paste by someone with a heavy hammer. At this moment, it turned into a sticky mass of flesh and blood. The pain made her unable to straighten her waist. She leaned on the wall tremblingly and moved her steps staggeringly. , like an old man in his dying years, sitting on the floor next to the coffee table with difficulty and powerlessness.

Don't dare to sit on the sofa anymore,

Everything in this room has nothing to do with Chen Ziran anymore, Chen Ziran came back from a day of running around, and his body was covered with the smell of sweat that Gu Qiong didn't like, which might contaminate her favorite sofa.

Gu Qiong said something else later, but Chen Ziran's mind was buzzing, and her voice was isolated to another dimension, only a little pitiful vibration was transmitted in the eardrum, which could not be discerned at all.

I only remember that Gu Qiong left, closed the door of the house, and went somewhere, leaving Chen Qiran alone in the big empty and lonely house.

Chen Ziran hugged her knees, leaned against the side of the tea table, and shrunk herself into a ball like a big rock.

There were still tears in her eyes, but there was no expression on her face, her mind was empty, and her blurred vision was fixed on the sharp lines in the corner of the wall.

After an unknown amount of time, she finally moved, turning her neck mechanically, and looked around the room.

Everything was the same as it was before I came here, except for an extra pair of slippers at the entrance and a water cup on the coffee table, there was nothing superfluous about Chen Ziran in the whole room.

And that pair of slippers and a water glass are placed in this modern and avant-garde room, how uncoordinated, as if they were forced in, out of place.

Chen Ziran thought that she was also an incompatible outsider in Gu Qiong's life, and now she finally came to expel herself.

do not Cry.

Chen Ziran wiped her tears with both hands, and sniffed her nose vigorously. At least there is one happy thing today. You have been admitted to university, and you can realize your dream in the future, becoming a teacher.

do not Cry.

Tears can't be wiped away.

Not promising.Chen Yuran scolded herself while weeping, good-for-nothing, really good-for-nothing, she knows how to cry when encountering troubles, what else can you do besides cry?No wonder Gu Qiong doesn't want you, no wonder no one in this world likes you!

No one likes me in this world...

Chen Ziran finally couldn't help but covered his face and wept silently.

I'm a nasty guy and no one in the world likes me.

……

I don't know how long she cried, but Chen Ziran's heart was numb from crying, her head was dazed, she sat on the ground for a long time, her eyes rolled absently, and she looked at the wall clock.

It was almost 5:[-] in the morning.

It seemed that he would not be able to go to work tomorrow, Chen Ziran stood up with the coffee table, feeling dizzy for a while, but luckily there was a support in his hand, and he managed to stand still.

She shook her head, walked straight into the bedroom, opened the wardrobe door, and packed her clothes.

Not many, just a few, a backpack was not enough to fill, and she went into the bathroom and stuffed her toothbrush, towel, and mouthwash cup into the bag, and all her things were packed.

She carried the old children's Sailor Moon schoolbag with all the prints off and who had been used for an unknown number of years, put on her shoes at the entrance, and took another look at the room.

This is a room with the happiest memories in her life. There is no trouble or worry. As soon as she enters the door, Chen Ziran's heart is warm and happy. This is the little paradise she has in reality.

Chen Ziran looked at it with nostalgia, reluctantly took off the high-grade key on the metal ring, and patted it lightly on the shoe cabinet.

Bye now.She thought sadly to the empty room, no, maybe it was a farewell.

She thanked Gu Qiong in her heart, and thanked Gu Qiong for bestowing on her the happy time for half a year, which made her realize what it was like to be treated well by others, and how wonderful it is to be liked by someone.

Even now that Gu Qiong said he didn't like it anymore, Chen Ziran didn't complain about her at all in his heart.

Chen Qiran's love was given by Gu Qiong, of course Gu Qiong has the right to take it back, not to mention that when Gu Qiong likes her, he treats her very well, much better than the treatment she received in her own family, Gu Qiong sincerely It's better for Chen Qiran, even a little favor from passers-by, Chen Qiran will be flattered and remembered in his heart, thinking about when he can return it, let alone Gu Qiong who really liked her before.

Chen Ziran doesn't hate her at all in his heart, he only hates himself, he can't learn how to repay a person who likes her, that's why he wiped away Gu Qi's heart, and now he finally doesn't like her anymore.

Did talking about the child to her put pressure on her?

Chen Ziran was sore in pain, and pulled her hair in remorse. She shouldn't have put so much pressure on Gu Qiong. They are still so young, and the road ahead is still so long. Just talking about it now, it's no wonder Gu Qiong is anxious.

It's all your fault!It's all your own fault that forced Gu Qiong away!

Chen Ziran's eyes were hot and painful, afraid that he would cry again, he hurriedly put down the key, and left Gu Qiong's house as if he was running away.

That's right, Gu Qiong's home.

How much Chen Ziran wanted to have a home. She once secretly fantasized that this place could also be her own home.

She will stay here obediently and quietly, without making noise or making demands, as long as this can become her home.

Unfortunately not.

Walking in the stairwell and going downstairs step by step, Chen Ziran realized that this was Gu Qiong's home, just Gu Qiong's home, there was no place for Chen Ziran to stay there.

But where is Chen Qiran's home?

Chen Ziran didn't know.

In the past, she had a small bed nailed up with wooden planks at her parents' place. Ever since the weak little bed was kicked to pieces by Chen Ziying last time, Chen Ziran didn't even have such a last place to stay.

She pushed the car out of the community where Gu Qiong lived, and walked on the main road.

The genius is dim, there are few cars on the road, and only sanitation workers in bright fluorescent colors are cleaning with a big broom. Chen Zilan stands helplessly on the street, looking back and forth blankly, not knowing where he should go, and where else to go. Take her in.

She was in a daze, and a taxi came slowly from behind, stopped on the road next to Chen Ziran, and honked her horn twice.

Chen Ziran subconsciously turned her head and saw Chen Ziying's beautiful face behind the lowered car window, smiling happily and beckoning to her, "Sister, get in the car!"

"Ziying?" Chen Ziran was taken aback, "Why are you here?"

"Of course I'm here to pick you up!" Chen Ziying explained a few words to the driver, opened the car door and walked down, holding Chen Ziran's hand affectionately, "Sister, come home with me, I've been waiting for you for a long time .”

Chen Ziran asked, "When did you come?"

"I was guarding here last night!" Chen Ziying said as a matter of course, and with a clever effort, she released Chen Ziran's grip on the handlebar, and pulled her towards the taxi.

"I...my bicycle..." Chen Ziran reminded.

"No more." Chen Ziying waved her hand, "I have long thought that your broken car is not pleasing to the eye! Sister, you go home with me first, have breakfast, and let's have a good sleep. After waking up, I will bring you Go to the car dealership and buy you a good one, the best one!"

"Don't talk nonsense."

"I'm not talking nonsense!" Chen Ziying looked at her with bright and charming eyes, "Sister, I'm serious, you don't have to worry about money, I'll buy it for you, I have money now, I can buy you the most Alright!"

Chen Ziran smiled, "Nonsense, where did you get the money?"

"I have a scholarship!" Chen Ziying smiled brightly and raised her head proudly, "Sister, do you know that this year's comprehensive test questions are difficult, so everyone failed the test. The overall score is the first in the province! The school gave me a scholarship, guess how much? The total score is 3, the top score in a single subject is 1, and the total is 2! Sister, I can buy you anything you want!"

"Really?" Chen Yuran was also happy for her, "That's great, Ziying! Have you told your parents the good news? They are so happy to know!"

Chen Ziying's eyes dimmed, she touched the back of her neck awkwardly, and said, "I didn't say anything, sister, and you're not allowed to say it either."

"Why?" Chen Zi was puzzled.

"It's not like you don't know who our mother is. She knows that I have money, so she doesn't want to try to trick me into playing cards? 3 yuan was in her hands, and it only took a few days. If she knew about the money, it would be like throwing water. Don't tell mom, you heard me?"

Chen Ziran thought about what she said was right, and nodded in agreement.

With Chen Ziying coming to pick her up, the pain in Chen Ziran's heart eased a little, but she didn't agree with Chen Ziying's plan to buy her a bicycle. She said that she would report to the university in two months. Why bother if she bought a bicycle and couldn't bring it to school? It's not like she can't ride her old car if she wasted this money. Besides, Chen Ziying has to keep the money for emergencies. She must know how to be prepared for danger in times of peace

"Understood sister, you are only a few minutes older than me, why do you talk like an elder? I won't buy you a car, is this okay?" Chen Ziying thought happily, so much money, keep it , enough for the two sisters to spend in college.And I heard that there is also a scholarship system in universities, such as national awards and school awards, which are more rewards than now!

Chen Ziying made up her mind to go to the Normal University with Chen Ziran. When the time comes, she will work hard to get a scholarship. The life of her sisters in school will be very nourishing, without Chen Ziran having to work so hard every day to save for tuition.

Thinking of this, Chen Ziying held Chen Ziran's arm and laughed, not paying attention to the sadness in Chen Ziran's eyes.

Chen Ziying took Chen Ziran to eat breakfast before returning home. It was already 8 o'clock when she got home, her mother was not at home, and her father had already gone to work. Chen Ziran asked her sister where her mother had gone.

Chen Ziying curled her lips and said, "I played cards all night yesterday, but I didn't come back. I guess I won't come back today."

"Then what about your three meals with dad?"

"I'll do it." Chen Ziying rubbed against Chen Ziran as if offering a treasure, "Sister, don't you know? My cooking skills are great now! Dad even praised me for cooking delicious food! Don't be busy at noon today, I will cook. Let you also taste my cooking skills!"

"That's a good relationship." Chen Ziran smiled and put down the bag.

The layout of the house was quite different from before Chen Ziying left. The small bed in the living room was gone, and the curtains were gone, making it look much more spacious and bright. Chen Ziran was anxiously thinking that there was no place for her at home, what should she do?Chen Ziying had already seen through her thoughts, and took her schoolbag into the small room that only belonged to Chen Ziying in the past.

"Sister, you sleep with me! We haven't been together for a long time, and tonight is a chance to have a good talk!"

As she said that, she pushed Chen Ziran into the bathroom to take a bath, took all her clothes, and put them on the small stool outside the bathroom door, and did not leave by herself, so she leaned against the door and talked to Chen Ziran, saying that she would go to college in the future What major do you want to apply for?

Chen Ziran took a bath in the bathroom and said, "I want to study literature and become a Chinese teacher."

"I don't, I think about it. I want to study software engineering. Now the most popular is programmers, and the salary is still high. Sister, I want to make more money, so that you can buy whatever you want in the future."

"You have such good grades, don't you plan to go to graduate school?"

"What kind of graduate study? I just want to make money quickly so that you can live a good life."

"Nonsense." Chen Ziran laughed, "Your grades are so good, it would be a waste not to go to graduate school. Besides, you make money to live a good life for yourself. Why do you want me?"

Chen Ziying didn't speak, she leaned against the door, listened to the sound of Chen Ziran taking a bath, and giggled silly.

There is no look of coldness and reticence in front of others.

After taking a bath, Chen Ziying put Chen Ziran on the bed. Her bed was not big, and it was 1 meters wide. It was enough for two people to sleep, so she sent Chen Ziran to the bed. Chen Ziying also went to take a bath, lifted the quilt and got in On the bed, holding Chen Ziran like an octopus, he let out a long and comfortable sigh, "Sister, during the days when you're not here, you miss me so much."

Chen Ziran turned her back to her and didn't speak. Chen Ziying thought she was too tired, so she didn't make a sound, and hugged her contentedly, and they slept together.

When Chen Ziying was about to fall asleep, she heard Chen Ziran sobbing slightly and silently.

"Sister, what's wrong with you?" Chen Ziying was surprised.

Chen Ziran turned her back and whispered to her: "Gu Qiong...Gu Qiong, she doesn't like me anymore, she doesn't want me anymore..."

After saying this, the tears flowed down again.

Chen Qiran doesn't understand, she just wants someone to like her, why is it so difficult?

作者有话要说：感谢在2020-08-0322:34:49~2020-08-0422:51:45期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who cast the rocket launcher: 1 V Ni;

Thank you to the little angel who threw the grenade: 1 of swaying and muttering and talking in sleep;

Thanks to the little angels who threw mines: kayo 2; love is a feast of loneliness, flowers bloom riches and honor, take a scumbag name, Mrs. Dong, Rin Tosaka, Guan Yue, and uncle in underpants 1;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：南曜喃25瓶；尤格尔20瓶；哈哈哈哈哈哈嗝19瓶；时迁、江河万里入梦来10瓶；林鹿3瓶；看世界青烟过、Seneca2瓶；风雪夜归人1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!