Eccentricity

Chen Ziran sat withered all night holding her torn admission notice.

She squatted on the ground, picked up the irregular pieces of paper one by one, held them in the palm of her hand, spread them on the bed sheet, and asked the nurse to borrow a roll of scotch tape, and glued them one by one.

The shredded paper can no longer be glued back to its original shape. The admission notice covered with tape is distorted and hard, and it is no longer a beautiful and regular rectangle. after the handwriting.

Chen Ziran:

Congratulations on being admitted to the Chinese Department of the School of Liberal Arts of our school. Please report to the school on time on September [-], XXXX with this admission notice.

The final inscription is Linyuan Normal University, stamped with a bright red official seal, black and white, which looks full of ritual.

Holding the damaged admission notice, Chen Ziran touched his own life on the top grid with his palm, touched the word "congratulations", and a drop of water fell directly on the back of his hand from his eyes.

The word congratulations is so festive. Chen Ziran has grown up so much, and she has heard adults say this sentence countless times to her sister, but she has never received it once.

With her own hard work, she was admitted to the top ten in the class, but her younger sister was the first in the grade, so the congratulations naturally did not fall on her head. The house was full of her younger sister's certificates of honor and trophies from national competitions, and there was no place for Chen Ziran to put a small The small class progress award certificate can only be hidden under my pillow, secretly happy at night.

The first congratulations that Chen Ziran received in her life were solemnly printed on the admission letter of her most coveted university.Going to school without a single friend and not giving up; being held by her mother... no, Liang Roujie grabbed her ears and slapped her to prevent her from going to high school and never gave up; spent every available time, lighting up lamps and cooking oil to understand those things on the math test papers. Don't give up even when the big questions are difficult.

This is her only ideal. After going through many difficult days, she never thought of giving up for a second. Now that her ideal is close in front of her eyes, she has to give up.

Lin Normal University's tuition fee is 5000 yuan a year. Originally, Chen Ziran could save it by working in a restaurant, but a car accident took everything from her. She has no money. How can she conjure up 5000 yuan out of thin air to go to college?To this day, she is still in the hospital, and the daily expenses are astronomical for her, and she has no spare money to study.

"I want to go to school." Chen Ziran sobbed holding the award, "I want...I want to go to school..."

Her chest twitched, and she raised her hand to touch her face.

The scars on the face were clear and distinct, and they did not disappear a bit.

It won't disappear any more. The doctor said that unless plastic surgery is done, Chen Ziran will never return to his original appearance.

"Cosmetic surgery... How much does it cost?"

"30."

Those three words drove Chen Ziran into the abyss of eternal doom.

She couldn't afford 5000 yuan in tuition fees, 30 yuan, and Chen Ziran didn't know if she could save 30 yuan in her lifetime.

Before that, she could only walk through the streets with this ugly and terrifying monster face on her face. Before that, Chen Ziran theoretically had no possibility of becoming a teacher.

Only when you lose it can you know what is the most important. Chen Ziran once complained countless times in the darkness of the dead of night, why she is not as beautiful as her sister.Now Chen Ziran is crying bitterly while clutching the scar on her face, not daring to imagine being as beautiful as her younger sister anymore.It turned out that they were not born to the same mother at all. The so-called twins were just a lie fabricated to maintain his father's face in the outside world.Expecting that all things that do not belong to oneself will have retribution, this is Chen Ziran's retribution.

"I want... I want to change back to my original appearance..." Chen Yuran covered her face, her arms trembling, "I don't want to be beautiful anymore, and I don't want to envy my sister anymore. Let me return to my original life."

"Let me be a normal person."

It doesn't matter if you are lonely or unloved, at least you don't have to endure other people's strange eyes, and you don't have to accept others' avoidance and pity in your heart.

Only after I lost it did I realize that it was great luck to be a helpless ordinary person.

Chen Ziran looked at the calendar on the table and counted the days.

September [-]st, September [-]nd, September [-]rd...

On the night of September 11, she didn't close her eyes all night, sitting quietly in front of the window of the ward, watching the clock from 12 to 12, and then slowly walking down from [-].

There is no light in the dark sky. I don't know how long it took. The darkness in the east slowly changed, turning gray blue, like a huge canvas that gradually began to fade, slowly getting brighter and brighter, the sun from a distance The back of the building rose up, and the lifeless faded canvas was dyed again, light orange, orange red, orange gold... Finally the whole world was bright in front of my eyes, all covered with a layer of gray, which made it hard to breathe.

"Miss Chen, it's time for breakfast."

"Miss Chen, it's time for rehabilitation."

"Miss Chen, at least eat a little lunch. People are iron and rice is steel. If you don't eat enough, how can you recover your body? Don't you think so?"

Chen Ziran was left alone in the hospital, with no family members, only the nurses who were paid full nursing fees, who came to persuade her on time, but after all, she was only doing things with money, and she couldn't give Chen Ziran her whole life. Things that were out of reach, he had a clear conscience after fulfilling his duties, and left quickly, and when it was dinner time, he even directly omitted the step of reminding Chen Ziran to eat.

Chen Ziran didn't eat anything all day, and he didn't feel hungry. Holding the admission notice with his name written on it in his hand, he sat from dark to dawn, and from dawn to dark.

The registration date of the Normal University is coming to an end, and among the freshmen this year, there will no longer be an ordinary person named Chen Ziran who is withdrawn and withdrawn.

In fact, it’s nothing, Lin Normal University has many students who don’t register for various reasons every year, and the Academic Affairs Office won’t even make a phone call to ask.

For Lin Normal University, Chen Ziran is just an insignificant little person. For Chen Ziran, her life trajectory has gone through a fork in the road, staggered the light, and drove straight to the bottomless darkness.

Time passed by without emotion. The leaves outside the ward turned yellow and fell off, leaving only bare tree trunks. At the end of November, Chen Ziran fully recovered and was discharged from the hospital. On the day of discharge, her father, who had been on business trips all year round, finally came to pick her up and picked her up from the nurse. After passing Chen Qiran's little luggage, he patted her on the shoulder, "Go back."

Before Gu Qiong left, she left a full amount of medical expenses, and urged the doctor to keep her until she fully recovered before being discharged from the hospital, because she did not believe that Chen Ziran's mother would take good care of her after she was discharged from the hospital.

The first step out of the hospital building, Chen Ziran's face was covered with something cold, she twitched the corner of her mouth and looked up.

Snowflakes were falling all over the sky, and the first snow in Xichao City this year came very early. Chen Qiran stayed in the hospital from midsummer to early winter.

She was still wearing the old faded and fluffy red sweater, the wool was clumped and it was not warm. She subconsciously shook her shoulders, and suddenly felt a weight on her back. Turning around, it turned out that her father took off his coat and put it on her. shoulders.

Chen Ziran's eyes flickered, but he didn't speak.

"Let's go." Chen Dazhi glanced at her hastily, not daring to look closely at the face of the eldest daughter whom he had wronged since childhood.

Chen Dazhi knew that he was sorry for his eldest daughter, but what could he do?After all, Liang Roujie was the wife he was marrying, Chen Ziying was the dignified and respectable daughter in their small family, Chen Ziran... Chen Ziran was destined not to see the light.

When Liang Roujie was pregnant, Chen Dazhi accompanied the company leader to participate in the drinking party. He got drunk and had a ridiculous night with the lady who accompanied the wine. Who knew that in just one night, the lady was pregnant with him. Waiting for her to blackmail him with her big belly When Chen Dazhi was at a loss what to do, he got into an argument with hands and feet, and pushed her inadvertently.

The lady was almost eight months pregnant at the time, and there were still eight weeks before the due date. Chen Dazhi hurriedly called 120, and when she was carried away, he was relieved.

What he thought in his heart was that it would be better for the unborn child to die in the delivery room, and he would pay the young lady a sum of money.

Who knew that God loves to tease people so much, his wife Liang Roujie also gave birth that day, and that young lady's child was not aborted as Chen Dazhi wished. Although it was a premature baby, all the vital signs were normal and quite healthy.

The young lady didn't want to have a baby, so she ran away a few days after giving birth, and left the baby in the delivery room of the hospital. After all, she was a real crying and fussy person, and it was Chen Dazhi's own flesh and blood. Chen Dazhi had no choice but to confess to Liang Roujie , After doing a paternity test, he took the child to his side to raise, and announced to the outside world that he had twins.

After Liang Roujie found out about this, she had a big fuss, and almost divorced Chen Dazhi, but she couldn't stand the dissuasion of her natal family, and she herself had just given birth and had no financial resources, so she had to knock out her teeth and swallow it, and agreed.

Chen Dazhi knew that Liang Roujie was at a disadvantage, and from now on, he would give her seven points at home. He opened his eyes and saw that Chen Ziran was abused since he was a baby, and his face turned purple from crying. He poured milk powder to feed her, and when she was a little older, the new wounds on Chen Ziran's body from time to time were all pulled out with bamboo strips, which were painful but could not hurt the muscles and bones, and did not embarrass the neighbors.

Chen Ziran was originally not called Chen Ziran, but Chen Ziran. It was said to the outside world that the policeman entered the wrong name when he registered for the household registration, so he had to make the mistake. In fact, Liang Roujie did it on purpose when she took the birth certificates of the two sisters to register for the household registration. The worst curse of solitude.

Chen Dazhi feels guilty towards his eldest daughter, but what can he do?Who made her come from a bad background.

Besides, compared to Chen Ziran, Chen Dazhi did prefer his clever and lovely little daughter, Chen Ziying. During Chen Ziran's growth, he wondered regretfully more than once why Chen Ziran didn't die in the hospital.

But in the end it was his own flesh and blood, and seeing Chen Ziran like this, it would be a lie for Chen Dazhi to say that he didn't feel distressed.

Back home, the father and two sat and ate.Liang Roujie went to play cards again. Chen Dazhi didn't know how to cook. The dishes he ordered from outside were quite rich, including chicken and meat. He first put a chicken leg into Chen Ziran's bowl, "Usually when Ziying is at home, you never eat chicken legs. I can't afford it, today is better, the two chicken legs are yours, eat it quickly, eat more, look at your body is much thinner than before."

Chen Ziran picked up the bowl obediently, took a bite of the chicken leg, tears flowed into his mouth, it was salty.

After eating, Chen Ziran was going to clean up the dishes, Chen Dazhi held her down and said, "Sit still, dad is here."

While washing the dishes, Chen Dazhi chatted with Chen Ziran, "You have been taking care of this family since childhood, and I, an incompetent father, have caused you to suffer so many years of grievances, and I have never felt sorry for you. Today, it's hard for us father and daughter I'm sorry for you, too."

He was washing dishes by the sink, while Chen Ziran sat at the dining table behind and wept.

The father and daughter were silent, and when Chen Dazhi finished washing the dishes, they sat in the living room, and Chen Dazhi said: "Your sister has gone to school, and her room is free, so you can live there from now on."

Chen Ziran nodded.

Chen Dazhi pinched his rough fingernails, remained silent for a long time, and then said: "Your mother's natal family has an uncle who runs a clothing factory in other places. She has already agreed with him. When she comes back in a few days, she will take her with her. You, and a dozen other girls who failed the college entrance examination, you all go to work in his factory together, and you get 5000 yuan a month, which is enough."

Chen Yuran's heart twitched, she raised her head and said hoarsely, "I want to study."

"Your face is like this, what can you do after studying?" Chen Dazhi persuaded her earnestly: "Your major is not easy to find a job. In the past, you could count on being a teacher to live a stable life. Now it's good, just like you , no school would want you, what kind of job can you do now without requiring good facial features? You are not even required to serve dishes and wash dishes in restaurants, so what can you do even if you have a college degree? Your mother told me I mentioned that garment factory, I checked it out, it’s quite formal, you have a salary of 5000 yuan a month for a high school graduate, it’s quite a lot, now college students don’t even get [-] yuan a month, listen to Dad’s advice, don’t Make dad embarrass in front of your mother."

"She sent you here, didn't she?"

"What her, hers, that's your mother! Why can't you respect and respect her?"

Chen Ziran didn't laugh or cry, she wiped her eyes and said calmly, "She's not my mother."

"I wasn't born by her, and I'm not twins with Chen Ziying, she told me herself."

She looked at Chen Dazhi calmly, but Chen Dazhi saw the heavy accusation in it, panicked, and snapped: "What are you talking about! Even if you are not her own, she has raised you! Nourishment Greater than Shengen, why don't you know how to be grateful?"

Chen Ziran didn't say much, just repeated stubbornly: "I want to study."

"You don't listen to what the elders say. It seems that I can't control you anymore. Okay, you can read if you want to study, but let me tell you, I don't have any money for you. If you want to study, you can make money yourself. Earn enough to go to school, and if you can’t earn enough, just fend for yourself!” Chen Dazhi walked back to his bedroom in a panic, and slammed the door.

The wall shook three times, Chen Ziran stayed in the living room for half an afternoon, and went out for an interview with his resume.

As long as she doesn't need a degree, she is willing to do anything, washing dishes in small restaurants, handing out leaflets on the street, and even moving bricks at construction sites, but no one wants her.

At the end of November when it was snowing heavily, her cheeks were sore from the cold, and she couldn't find a job that was willing to ask her.

What Chen Dazhi said is right, now the recruitment is all about a good-looking person, and people who can't find a job on the street are waiting in line. Will freak out customers.

I went to all the recruiting units in the newspaper, and all of them were stunned. If I was good-tempered, I would push my resume back to Chen Ziran, and declined with a smile: "Sorry, you don't meet the job requirements of our company." There are also some recruiters The person said directly in front of Chen Ziran: "Our company cares about the image of customers. Although you are applying for a cleaning position, but you are like this..." The recruiter made a gesture on his face, with his nostrils facing the sky, "Just With your looks, if you frighten our customers and lose millions of dollars in business, can you afford it?"

Chen Ziran came back shivering from the cold, and was ridiculed by Liang Roujie, while Chen Dazhi sat beside him, not daring to fart.

The next day Chen Ziran went out again, this time not to find a job, but to apply for a student loan.

She knew when she was in high school that this is a subsidy policy given by the state to poor students. The zero-interest loan = loan, which can be repaid in installments after graduating from university and finding a job.

With the student loan, Chen Ziran can pay the tuition fee, and other expenses can be collected by other means.

She took the materials she had prepared to the relevant department for consultation, and the staff extinguished her last hope with a smile on her face.

"Sorry, you are not eligible to apply for the National Student Loan."

"why?"

"Applying for a student loan requires a family with financial difficulties. According to Xichao City's standards, family members have no fixed jobs, and the family's annual income is less than 2 yuan. Your father has a formal job. In this case, you cannot apply for a poverty certificate. Student loan = money."

The staff's apologetic and polite smile only made Chen Yuran's heart more desperate.

Is there really no other way?She was admitted to the university after enduring so much pain, and she was about to give up because Liang Roujie said that she was not allowed to study?

No, Chen Ziran was not reconciled.

Everything can be given up, except ideals, this is Chen Ziran's only belief in living.

Whether she can become a teacher after graduating from university is a matter for the future. Now, she must go to university.

Chen Ziran thought of the out-of-town garment factory that Chen Dazhi had mentioned.

When Gu Qiong left, he said that he had done the one-year suspension procedure for Chen Ziran, that is to say, as long as Chen Ziran had saved enough tuition fees for the first school year before September next year, he would still have the opportunity to go to school.

The clothing factory pays 5000 yuan a month, including food and housing, which means that Chen Ziran can save her monthly salary. In just half a year, she can save 3 yuan, which is enough to pay her university tuition, miscellaneous fees, and travel expenses. The travel expenses for studying.

Hope was ignited in Chen Ziran's heart, and after a few days, he told Chen Dazhi that he was willing to work in a factory.

Chen Dazhi heaved a sigh of relief, patted her on the shoulder and smiled, "That's right, you finally figured it out, this is Dad's good daughter."

Liang Roujie looked a lot more pleasant that night.

……

On the day Chen Ziran left home, one week before her birthday, Liang Roujie’s uncle who ran a garment factory looked very gentle and kind. He chartered a minibus with about 20 girls in it. Those who went to work in a garment factory thousands of miles away, the youngest just graduated from junior high school, the girls were far away from home, their eyes were full of fear, they lay on the car window and looked out, wanting to see more of the place where they lived since childhood.

Chen Ziran was carrying her pink Sailor Moon children's schoolbag, which contained her simple luggage. Chen Dazhi sent her to the car and secretly gave her 2000 yuan.

Chen Ziran hesitated and refused to accept it.

"Take it, take it." Chen Dazhi stuffed it into her bag, "This is my private money, your mother... Liang Roujie doesn't know, you are a girl who goes out, and you need two coins in your pocket for self-defense. Fulu, don't wrong yourself too much. I know that I am incompetent as a father, and I haven't taken care of you for so many years, but at least you are by my side, and I can still know if anyone bullies you. In the future..."

Chen Dazhi choked for a moment, "From now on, you can only rely on yourself."

"I don't expect you to come back to see me either. You are living a good life alone. If you earn money, go to college. It's better for a girl to have a diploma than nothing. It's your birthday in a few days , remember to buy something delicious for yourself, buy a new dress, you have worn this sweater for seven or eight years, it should be changed long ago."

Chen Dazhi showed a different kind of chatter than before, until the team leader who was in charge of taking the girls to the train station stood at the door and shouted impatiently: "Have you dawdled enough? We're about to miss the train!"

Chen Dazhi stroked Chen Yuran's hair and said, "Go, never come back."

Chen Ziran's mood didn't fluctuate, she lowered her eyebrows and got into the minibus with her bag on her back.

She has an ugly face and looks scary. No girl is willing to sit with her, so they avoid her one after another. She doesn't bother with it. She sits in a corner by the window where there is no one, and looks out of the window blankly. look.

If Chen Dazhi's words were said before the car accident, Chen Ziran would be so moved that he would cry bitterly, thinking that her father still loved her, although he favored her sister a little more, but saying it now would be meaningless.

Chen Dazhi doesn't feel sorry for her, even though she is his own daughter, he said those words sincerely and gave Chen Ziran money, just to make his conscience feel better-although he hasn't cared about his daughter for 19 years, he still loves her. Gave her something.

Chen Ziran will no longer pretend to be affectionate and think that there is no one in the world who will love her, especially after she has become like this.

Her heart has become a barren saline-alkali land, no beautiful flowers can bloom anymore, only a unique grass, which is tenaciously rooted and growing, this is Chen Ziran's only remaining ideal.

The minibus started slowly, and Chen Ziran looked at the familiar scenery and retreated quickly, thinking numbly that he had finally become an orphan.

In fact, she has always been an orphan, but she has been deceiving herself for more than ten years, thinking that the lie can last.

She was unwilling to face the truth, and as a result, the lie was exposed in the most tragic way, leaving her with only a broken face and a half-disabled right arm. The weather was cold and the bones were very cold.

Chen Ziran had to admit that she was unwanted.

作者有话要说：感谢在2020-08-0822:31:59~2020-08-0922:52:53期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who cast the landmine: km2; Yu Qinghan, the top player in the Lily slag attack world, with a delicate story, who has no heart after all, the uncle in pants, who will lose weight to the end, the 96-year-old Miao Xiansen, and one Ke Tian ;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：日行50瓶；柳叶留30瓶；莫臨淵12瓶；宾鸿、杨超越的小黄包、唐豆酥、看世界青烟过10瓶；紫越8瓶；唯侑6瓶；抱歉抱歉、破、镜飞彩激推bot5瓶；235932024瓶；zvgxdgv3瓶；长安、阿娜2瓶；鸭头冲啊！！！、远山近江寒、卡莲、长安也是归故里、HAHOHUH1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!